Shout out to non-horsey OH!

[kelsbels]

Just wanted to give a shout out to all OHs out there to show how appreciated they are! Mine has been fab this weekend!

I only started riding 2 years ago at the age of 31, and took on my first loan horse yesterday! My OH has been fantastic - helping me set up everything, running about for hay and shavings, and being an all round rock as I have lurched from overjoyed to panic over every small thing!

No point to the thread really apart from to hear if other non-horsey OHs are just as fab (not letting him read this thread as his heads already far too big! Lol!xx

 

[Auslander]

Not my OH, but Spikes sharers husband. We had to take down 2 acres worth of post/electric tape paddock today, and put it back up in a different bit of the field. Her husband did all the fence post bashing, carefully making sure it was all perfectly straight, then patiently unravelled several 200m lengths of damn tape, which managed to snarl itself up into a huge tangle, despite our best efforts. He did get me on the hand with the post basher at one point - but I forgave him, as he was an absolute legend all day!

 

[AmieeT]

Here here!

I started riding 2 years ago too, had my first lesson after taking on Red! Mines been amazing too- he's not remotely animal minded, but he's coming around

Yay for the lovely OH's!!!

Ax

 

[Red-1]

I am happy to praise my OH. He did not even like horses and a few years later was an international 3 day event groom, cook, driver, bottle washer, supporter, just fantastic. He then learned to ride and nannied me out with a new horse.

GOD Bless FAB OHs!

 

[catwithclaws]

My non-horsey hubby is fab! Always supportive and willing to help out where he can. In fact when we moved to a different area a few years ago, he moved first and I actually sent my 2 horses with him, and he took care of them for me for a full winter while I worked out my notice period at my job and followed him later on. Bless him.

 

[kelsbels]

A big YAY to all your OHs, what would we do without them all, eh!xx

 

[Shutterbug]

My OH has never sat on a horse in his life and never will. But he accepts the fact that my horses are important and he never moans when I buy yet another rug He even holds my youngster for me while I work with him - my youngster loves him lol and he helped me move yards

 

[NeilM]

Be careful, as non horsey OH's can easily become horsey. Red-1 you are already on the slippery slope.

I was a non horsey OH for something like fifteen years, then I packed in a long term (physical) past time and started looking for something else, and that's when it happened.

Still, the non horsey OH's do deserve some appreciation, for the times we cart stuff about, like loading ten small bales of hay in my car one wet night in November and dropping them off somewhere else (long story), or the time I cobbled (sorry, bad pun) together some tools from my garage to remove a bent front shoe on (another) rainy Saturday night, or for feeding a recovering laminitic her bran mash and picking up poo when work required you to be elsewhere, or trailer you and your horse to a fun ride, then sit around for several hours while you and your friends have a brilliant time riding.

We love you, so we love your horses, old softies that we are.

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

They are great. Mine had nothing to do with them before meeting me and even had to suffer the pony coming to the wedding! Since we've been together he's supported me buying/breeding them. Has shown in-hand at county level, been shouted at countless times, used as a poo-picker, acorn raker, hay shifter (even though he's allergic to it), feeds them, etc.....

He's generally brilliant and puts up with me disappearing for hours and leaving him to look after the kids. He can also catch one and change its rug if needed.

My theory, no point having them if they're not trained! LOL

 

[Pie's mum]

I'm lucky mine is fab too. Pie (generally suspicious of all men) took to him straight away.
He is a star, he will bring in, feed, supervise for farrier, muck out and act as groom at shows. I feel blessed!

 

[Dizzydancer]

Mine is amazing- even more so after totally spoiling me today at YHL!!
He is also chauffeur for any travelling, will happily fetch in etc if I'm not able to of just to help out but I'm safe as he will never ride a horse and I am certain of that- cycling more his style!

 

[NeilM]

I'm safe as he will never ride a horse and I am certain of that- cycling more his style!

I am also a cyclist!

 

[Mrs G]

My OH needs a shout out too - never had anything to do with horses b4 we met - but now he takes over from me when Im poorly or just too knackered (like I was tonight) to do evening yard duties , he's a dab hand at removing loose shoes (the joys of owning a tb), all the horses love him (esp the one who distrusts all other men), he's poo-picked mountains of poo over the years, and what really made my heart swell was when he asked should he use the rubber curry comb to get the mud off - the fact he had remembered the correct name for the type of brush! I feel guilty that I cant be equally involved in his hobbies (but they're just no where near as good as horses)!

 

[OwnedbyJoe]

My non horsey OH now rides... He even found his current horse by himself (and got into trouble from ME for getting another horse!).
However... he also fences, feed sup and rugs when necessary, and has completely rebuilt two horse trailers for me.
I have to colour code everything so that he knows what gear goes on which horse though.

 

[Merrymoles]

I'm jealous now. Mine is completely uninterested, think he's seen any of my horses about twice in their lives.

He had a good moan on Saturday when I was late home as stayed at the yard during horrendous fireworks which my horse is terrified of.

He will always ask how he is but has absolutely no interest in seeing him, handling him or helping in any way at all.

 

[rowan666]

Where are you Lucky people finding supportive OHs, mine HATES them! He started off helping but now can't even bring himself to look at them! A touch of the green eyed monster because ide rather ride the horses I think ;-)

 

[B&J]

My OH started out non-horsey and ended up buying his own so he didn't have to share mine They are incredibly useful around the yard too!!

 

[I love horses.]

Where are you Lucky people finding supportive OHs, mine HATES them! He started off helping but now can't even bring himself to look at them! A touch of the green eyed monster because ide rather ride the horses I think ;-)

My OH started out really enthusiastic and supportive but it waned quickly and sharply. I know that his disappearing-support is not because he's mean or cruel, but because he's afraid. I have to remember this or I feel really mad at him. When we talked and I really pinned him down to tell me why he has gone from supportive to less than, in a few weeks, he admitted that he's really afraid. Afraid it will take me away from him, that he'll never see me, that I won't be able to afford it, that he'll end up stepping in to help with money or time, and that I might end up stuck with the wrong horse unable to sell it or ride it. In short, that it won't make me happy. Or him. When he finally told me all this, my heart broke for him. I saw that his total lack of support and real grumpiness about the whole subject was in fact coming from his own insecurities. As opposed to a lack of love or support. Since then it has been better. We haven't yet resolved all of his worries (indeed, some are not really resolvable in a sense, since I don't know yet myself how much time and money it will really suck up..) but I am committed to trying to allay his fears. I don't see how I can expect his support until he has confidence that it won't break me, physically or financially. Or that it won't take so much time that he ends up feeling very left out. It's this last point that worries me the most. Horses ARE a time consuming hobby, not getting around it, and I don't know if and how he will cope emotionally. But that is not my problem (I mean that with love..). I will try to support him and love him when I am with him, but if I let his fears stop me pursuing a hobby I have dreamt of for 20 years (I last rode as a teen) then that would damage our relationship immeasurably. I would resent him. So I can't do that. For both our sakes.

But geesh, this is a hard one. It was so lovely when he wanted to be supportive and I miss it!

I a, hopeful that when his fears are properly allayed, his support will return. When he sees that it makes me happy and doesn't break me, he will join in again. At least, I really hope so...

I'm happy to hear so many stories of supportive OH's. Inspiring. Thank you x

 

[misskk88]

Another one who after four years has failed miserably in ensuring my OH gets the 'horse bug'! Training tips greatly welcomed.

To be fair to him, at weekends I am at the yard, he is playing sports. In the evenings when I get to the yard, he is still at work usually. He always asks how they are, but totally does not get why I waste (his word not mine!) so much of my money on them. I do understand where he comes from when he says it is money I could have for our new or next house, for kids ones day etc and that he is worried that when my horse comes back from loan I am going to be extremely stressed about finances, but I give up trying to explain it to him!

I did say when horse is on DIY he has a choice- ocassionally help out when I am away, OR take on more of the house work... So far I am yet to receive a response on that one!

 

[silvershadow81]

Going to throw my FAB OH into here too! He helps to muck out/ turn out every morning, drives us to endless shows, helps to groom, even has to wear a silly flat cap in the showing ring when grooming and has thrown himself into riding (he has stolen my 26 year old) who has taught him to jump.

Unfortunately they ALWAYS win, so he ONLY has 1st place red rosettes, here is them in action this year: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMkZZo87rNs

He is a STAR! xx

 

[Copperpot]

Mine is pretty helpful too. He can ride but I don't have one he wants to. He does morning or evening feeds if I need him to, changes rugs, fills up the water tanks and does general jobs. He drives the lorry everywhere we need to go. He also brings up bacon sandwiches when the farrier comes, which always goes down well 😊

He never mentions the time or money spent on or with the horses.

 

[silvershadow81]

For those asking for tips, I think I am just incredibly lucky! He wasn't horsey when we got together, but is sensible and understands the horses will ALWAYS come first, they were there before he was!

Starting point (well what I did!)

Rides to pubs!- Make sure its nice weather, you ride the horse, he on a mountain bike, finish up in the pub, make sure the homeward leg is up a steep hill.... that way you have the easy option (let them piece together it is easier to get home on horseback!)

Next time, offer to swap on the way back. They escape the uphill bike ride home, making their life easier.

Also, if you have plans to go out somewhere, make it apparent that two people getting the horses done gets them finished off quicker, so you get to spend more time doing non-horsey things.

Im lucky that he figured we need horses at home or else he would never see me, that way he pops out and helps to speed things up!

** Disclaimer** Im not endorsing drunk riding, im only suggesting 1/2 pint! **

 

[budley95]

Another brilliant non horsey OH. Doesn't like horses and we have an agreement that he will NEVER get on a horse - his words not mine - but he still comes up to sort the horse with me every morning before work, does inhalers, hoof picking, rug changing, can now put a headcollar on and take it off, hay soaking, poo picking, waters, feeds and sweeps. He knows how to muck out and groom if he really has to but draws the line there. And it's only Bud he'll do, he doesn't trust other horses haha. He's rather good at putting up jumps for me, and gives me a hand making up my 21 haynets for the week every weekend. Non horsey OH that are supportive are definitely the best!

 

[montanna]

Mine doesn't like horses at all! He calls my mare the 'cretin', but apart from that is pretty supportive.

Not very good at jump putting up, but drives the lorry and is good at holding and fetching things

 

[DragonSlayer]

When I split with my ex, I decreed that I would find another OH who was horsey or stay single for the rest of my days!

Luckily I have an awesome horsey OH!

Doesn't moan when we are paying out for whatever our 6 need, and got them all seen to by the dentist last week as our dentist doesn't work weekends (which is fair enough)...understands the hours they take to tend to and gets all the field jobs done too.

God forbid anything ever happens to him, I wouldn't be rushing to find anyone to fill his boots as there would be no-one who comes close.

 

[Annagain]

My OH started out really enthusiastic and supportive but it waned quickly and sharply. I know that his disappearing-support is not because he's mean or cruel, but because he's afraid. I have to remember this or I feel really mad at him. When we talked and I really pinned him down to tell me why he has gone from supportive to less than, in a few weeks, he admitted that he's really afraid. Afraid it will take me away from him, that he'll never see me, that I won't be able to afford it, that he'll end up stepping in to help with money or time, and that I might end up stuck with the wrong horse unable to sell it or ride it. In short, that it won't make me happy. Or him. When he finally told me all this, my heart broke for him. I saw that his total lack of support and real grumpiness about the whole subject was in fact coming from his own insecurities. As opposed to a lack of love or support. Since then it has been better. We haven't yet resolved all of his worries (indeed, some are not really resolvable in a sense, since I don't know yet myself how much time and money it will really suck up..) but I am committed to trying to allay his fears. I don't see how I can expect his support until he has confidence that it won't break me, physically or financially. Or that it won't take so much time that he ends up feeling very left out. It's this last point that worries me the most. Horses ARE a time consuming hobby, not getting around it, and I don't know if and how he will cope emotionally. But that is not my problem (I mean that with love..). I will try to support him and love him when I am with him, but if I let his fears stop me pursuing a hobby I have dreamt of for 20 years (I last rode as a teen) then that would damage our relationship immeasurably. I would resent him. So I can't do that. For both our sakes.

But geesh, this is a hard one. It was so lovely when he wanted to be supportive and I miss it!

I a, hopeful that when his fears are properly allayed, his support will return. When he sees that it makes me happy and doesn't break me, he will join in again. At least, I really hope so...

I'm happy to hear so many stories of supportive OH's. Inspiring. Thank you x

I find this quite sad - for you and for him. The one sure fire way of that coming true is for him to resent it and fight against it. I understnd his fear, but if it makes you happy, he should be happy with that. I'd just encourage him gently to take an interest - and maybe you could set aside one evening a week and one morning / afternoon a weekend to spend with him so he knows the horse won't steal you completely?

Mine is adamant he's not getting involved and it's been like that for the 18 years we've been together. He mucked out once when I was too ill to stand, but he had to park me in the car outside the stable, wrapped in a duvet, to tell him what to do! He has the odd moan when I'm away with the horses all day when he has a rare weekend day off (he works shifts) but generally he's fine with it. He knew from the start that horses were a big part of my life however (and gets told when he does have a moan' "The horses were here a long time before you and will still be here a long time after you!") it's a bit different when the horse comes later.

 

[Prince149]

I have a Non Horsey OH, whos utterly terrified of horses! When we got together I'd given up as I was focusing on my career, 4 years later and an engagement ring I decided I missed it too much so found a full loan to ease mself back into it in a new area OH took up long distance running and FIFA! So when Im at the yard he runs/and or plays FIFA for a few hours!

However, He came down for the first time last night, fed the horse some mints and didn't run off! Although he was more amused at another pony nickering at him, then my horse {go figure!}! He just moans about the smell!

 

[MyDogIsAnIdiot]

Mine is also amazing!

I was horseless when we met and he was completely terrified of them. I bought mare just after we moved in together and he's been great - found me a new field to keep her in, has fixed fences, bought me saddles, and is in the process of buying me a trailer to go with the Disco he bought to tow it!

He's now very fond of mare and insists that he's the one who gets to feed her her daily ginger nuts . It helps that mare is in love with him - she follows him round like a giant puppy.

 

[Red-1]

My advice for those asking how to train the OHs, my advice would be to lave them to it and let them make mistakes.

Love Silvershadow's horse, this is what my OH was like when we loaned one for the summer. He too wobbled round some SJ, and the best bit was that I let him have fun and do it without being too critical. When he took over my older horse it was harder to let him make mistakes, his first clip was something to behold, and at one stage we had to have a hackamore as the horse worked out how to NOT open his mouth. Waving them off on a hack was nail biting....... and blokes seem to love cantering once they know how, so Charlie did a LOT of canter.

It also helped that horses were at home. My OH got placed at dressage, did fun rides, but thank goodness decided that other than jumping the odd log jumping was not for him.

 

[stormclouds]

Mine's fab - he point blank refuses to get on one (had a bit of a scary accident when he was younger, according to his mum - who thankfully loves horses, which is great for me!) but always would come to the yard with me (was private, only me there at weekends) and run out in front of us when I hacked out. Horse loved him and would often look to him for guidance when going past scary things. Happy to muck out (though I'm too much of a perfectionist to let him most of the time), will hold while I'm busy , and coped very well resaddling a verryyy spooky horse that I was trying to stop from spinning in circles (despite never having put a saddle on in his life).

After losing my share horse last weekend, and generally moping around and being miserable, he's on a one-man crusade to find me another, even offering to pitch in towards upkeep and buying cost. Luckily he's a very outdoorsy type, so quite enjoys the early mornings and long walks.

It's been so nice having his support - I moved to his city to be with him, so left behind my horse, yard and horsey friends - he's trying very hard to replace everyone and even bought us pretty good tickets to HOYS this year. He even puts up with me babbling on, and let me practice my 'firm bossy get-off-my-foot' voice on him (not sure what the people upstairs must think of us...!

He's in a band and I'd like to think I'm equally supportive - going to as many gigs as money/time/work allows, and often putting our lives on hold so he can practice/go on tour.