Sleep well beautiful boy . . .

LadyGascoyne

LadyGascoyne

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Oh my goodness, PS! I'm so so sorry. Kali has always been one of my favourite HHO horses and I've loved reading your posts about him.

I'm so very sad for you. He was a truly special horse and his character always shone through in your writing.

Sleep well, Silver Horse.
 
PolarSkye

PolarSkye

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Thank you everyone. I've honestly been overwhelmed and truly touched by the support I've received and all your kindness and lovely words. As I said to someone else this morning, I'm lost right now.

It's all a bit surreal. I feel like I'm in a nightmare - that it's all a horrible dream - and that I'll wake up soon. But I know I won't.

He was amazing. I adored the bones of him - and I think he loved me too. He charmed many people who met him - he had a way of getting under your skin - he was needy and demanding and a total attention whore. Yes, he was beautiful . . . I used to stand and watch him all the time, so grateful that this magical horse was actually mine . . . but it was his character and personality I will miss the most. This morning the sun rose on a day without him in my life - and it feels wrong.

He gave me so much . . . he made laugh pretty much every day . . . and he gave me a dodgy hip and a very unsexy limp. But he also gave me some of the best people on this planet. Without him, I wouldn't have met amazing people like Auslander and GG and nikicb and The Fuzzy Furry - among others - who have become my friends and are helping to prop me up right now. Without him, I wouldn't have met Zoe and Chelsea. Zoe was his competition jockey, Chelsea was our trainer. He was OUR horse. We three all loved him - and it turns out we love each other too.

it was all so quick. He came in from the field on Tuesday lame behind, very sore, very uncomfortable and very unhappy. I wasn't there, but Zoe was and she rang me to let me know but said she didn't think he needed an emergency vet call out. Wednesday morning he was very pathetic when I first got to the yard, but perked right up within an hour or so and was his usual cheeky, demanding, fidgety self - but I kept him in, just in case Thursday morning he was awful . . . I've never seen a horse so sick. Vet came out, took his temperature (it was over 104) and diagnosed a virus. Gave him a shot of Finadyne, left me with some Finadyne paste and a box of vanilla bute and said he should pick up in a couple of days. Thursday evening he was really struggling . . . breathing was laboured, high fever, had the shakes. I gave him his evening bute and stayed with him, holding his head in my arms, telling him what a good boy he was - he seemed to pick up a little bit, his breathing regulated and he stopped shaking so I left him - YO said she'd check on him throughout the night. He had an awful night. He sweated right through his rugs and YO said at one point he was completely unresponsive. But by morning he had no fever and was more alert - but he wasn't "him" . . . he was still very weak and had begun to show signs of possible neurological damage. I rang the vet who said there wasn't much we could do until bloods results came back from Newmarket on Monday, but to keep fingers and toes crossed that he was just weak from the fever. I skipped him out at about four - put him to bed and came home. At about nine, YO rang to say he was in a very bad way . . . I slung on some clothes, rang the vet and headed to yard chanting "please don't die, please don't die, please don't die." I was halfway there when she rang to tell me he was gone. I'm afraid I howled. I got to the entrance of the yard and realized I couldn't cope alone so somehow rang Chelsea and Zoe who both dropped everything to come and be with us. The three of us went to say goodbye to him together - he was still warm. We sat with him for about an hour and a half - laughing, crying, telling stories, stroking him, kissing him. At one point Chelsea wrapped me in one of his rugs - ironically it had belonged to her old boy Oli - Oli and Kali were best friends. Zoe cut off his tail and I gave both of them a piece. Zoe plaited the rest and I brought it home - along with his headcollar. I can't look at either at the moment - they are both upstairs in the spare room. But he's everywhere in this house.

Chelsea has already sorted out his "removal" - she rang me about half an hour ago to let me know that he was gone. She has also lifted his bed and folded up all his rugs. I have just rung my daughter to tell her - we bought him for us to share - I'm hoping she will come home - she's in bits. All sorts of people have been in touch already to let me know how sorry they are . . . it's amazing and very humbling. But he gave me that. He gave me so many things - and introduced me to so many people. If it was obvious to all of them (and you) how much I loved him, I hope it was obvious to him.

Zoe and I are scheduled to have lunch next Saturday - so she, Chelsea and I will go up to the yard and collect all his things together and then go out and toast his memory.

I'm lost. I simply can't think of another way to put it. My heart is cracked wide open and I'm lost. Sleep well my darling, darling boy.

P
 
Auslander

Auslander

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PolarSkye said:
Thank you everyone. I've honestly been overwhelmed and truly touched by the support I've received and all your kindness and lovely words. As I said to someone else this morning, I'm lost right now.

It's all a bit surreal. I feel like I'm in a nightmare - that it's all a horrible dream - and that I'll wake up soon. But I know I won't.

He was amazing. I adored the bones of him - and I think he loved me too. He charmed many people who met him - he had a way of getting under your skin - he was needy and demanding and a total attention whore. Yes, he was beautiful . . . I used to stand and watch him all the time, so grateful that this magical horse was actually mine . . . but it was his character and personality I will miss the most. This morning the sun rose on a day without him in my life - and it feels wrong.

He gave me so much . . . he made laugh pretty much every day . . . and he gave me a dodgy hip and a very unsexy limp. But he also gave me some of the best people on this planet. Without him, I wouldn't have met amazing people like Auslander and GG and nikicb and The Fuzzy Furry - among others - who have become my friends and are helping to prop me up right now. Without him, I wouldn't have met Zoe and Chelsea. Zoe was his competition jockey, Chelsea was our trainer. He was OUR horse. We three all loved him - and it turns out we love each other too.

it was all so quick. He came in from the field on Tuesday lame behind, very sore, very uncomfortable and very unhappy. I wasn't there, but Zoe was and she rang me to let me know but said she didn't think he needed an emergency vet call out. Wednesday morning he was very pathetic when I first got to the yard, but perked right up within an hour or so and was his usual cheeky, demanding, fidgety self - but I kept him in, just in case Thursday morning he was awful . . . I've never seen a horse so sick. Vet came out, took his temperature (it was over 104) and diagnosed a virus. Gave him a shot of Finadyne, left me with some Finadyne paste and a box of vanilla bute and said he should pick up in a couple of days. Thursday evening he was really struggling . . . breathing was laboured, high fever, had the shakes. I gave him his evening bute and stayed with him, holding his head in my arms, telling him what a good boy he was - he seemed to pick up a little bit, his breathing regulated and he stopped shaking so I left him - YO said she'd check on him throughout the night. He had an awful night. He sweated right through his rugs and YO said at one point he was completely unresponsive. But by morning he had no fever and was more alert - but he wasn't "him" . . . he was still very weak and had begun to show signs of possible neurological damage. I rang the vet who said there wasn't much we could do until bloods results came back from Newmarket on Monday, but to keep fingers and toes crossed that he was just weak from the fever. I skipped him out at about four - put him to bed and came home. At about nine, YO rang to say he was in a very bad way . . . I slung on some clothes, rang the vet and headed to yard chanting "please don't die, please don't die, please don't die." I was halfway there when she rang to tell me he was gone. I'm afraid I howled. I got to the entrance of the yard and realized I couldn't cope alone so somehow rang Chelsea and Zoe who both dropped everything to come and be with us. The three of us went to say goodbye to him together - he was still warm. We sat with him for about an hour and a half - laughing, crying, telling stories, stroking him, kissing him. At one point Chelsea wrapped me in one of his rugs - ironically it had belonged to her old boy Oli - Oli and Kali were best friends. Zoe cut off his tail and I gave both of them a piece. Zoe plaited the rest and I brought it home - along with his headcollar. I can't look at either at the moment - they are both upstairs in the spare room. But he's everywhere in this house.

Chelsea has already sorted out his "removal" - she rang me about half an hour ago to let me know that he was gone. She has also lifted his bed and folded up all his rugs. I have just rung my daughter to tell her - we bought him for us to share - I'm hoping she will come home - she's in bits. All sorts of people have been in touch already to let me know how sorry they are . . . it's amazing and very humbling. But he gave me that. He gave me so many things - and introduced me to so many people. If it was obvious to all of them (and you) how much I loved him, I hope it was obvious to him.

Zoe and I are scheduled to have lunch next Saturday - so she, Chelsea and I will go up to the yard and collect all his things together and then go out and toast his memory.

I'm lost. I simply can't think of another way to put it. My heart is cracked wide open and I'm lost. Sleep well my darling, darling boy.

P
Click to expand...

This has brought tears to my eyes (again!). You, and he, are very much in my thoughts today. He was one of the special ones - and you gave him a lovely lovely life. RIP Grey Donk...
 
PolarSkye

PolarSkye

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I went to choir Thursday evening on what was, it turns out, the last night of his life . . . I was really struggling, very worried about him, and the first song we sang was this:

"I Won't Give Up"

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

My throat closed up and the tears rolled down my face. The lovely people at ShuffleTunes were amazing - so kind and supportive. This is now HIS song. We're singing it for both a charity concert (not sure when that is) and a wedding in July . . .

. . . I'm still looking up Pops.

P
 
A

Adopter

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I am very sorry to read about your devastating and sudden loss of the wonderful Kai. Sending hugs and sympathy, and hope with the passing of time your many happy memories will bring you and all those who loved him some comfort.
 
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