Smacking Children?

[Skhosu]

Yes or No? There are 4 of us, 3 were smacked if we were very bad when we were very young (5-7ish..) and the youngest has probably never (perhaps once?) smacked and is the cheekiest child. She would actually hit the parents on the occasion.
She shouts back at them, and is rude and ill-mannered( currently aged 10).
I think if used correctly its fine. Watching th eprogramme on UTV there is one woman who is hitting her child, and that's not proper I don't think. Any other ideas?

 

[Nic]

I do, but not being a parent I'm not best placed to comment.

 

[pixie]

I was smacked (not hit or beaten!) as a child and am glad for it. They always gave me warning and made sure that it was very clear why I was being punished. I can't actually remember it very well, but I believe it instilled a great deal of discipline in me and respect for my parents and other people. I would never dream of hitting/shouting at my parents, its just not in my nature.
I think a quick smack when the child is young will help a lot in the long term.

 

[barneyandem]

Im not a parent so i prob cant really comment, but i agree in it if the parent is in control (i.e. its not their initial reaction when they start to lose contol), calm and has a reason...

 

[kayleigh_and_rocky]

Yes i agree with smacking whole heartedly. I'm not a parent but if i was i know it is a way i would go with my child. I was smacked as a child (only when i was very bad AND after being warned and told i would be smacked if i didnt behave) and its done me the world of good.

 

[haybales]

i think it's all relative, what other discipline you use, how badly the child behaves to deserve the smack, how frustrated you felt at the time etc

personally, as a child and not a parent i can say that i wasnt smacked and still was able to be disciplined and respect my parents.

 

[clipclop]

I can remember being smacked twice by my Dad and twice by my Mum in my whole life. All four incidents were for extremely bad behaviour or for my own safety. I knew this to be the absolute limit and neer pushed my luck that far ever again.

I certainly don't feel I was treated badly. Infact I look back on those incidents as moments where my parents were scared for me and needed to nip the problem in the bud. (I am glad they did)!

If my little boy ever pushes his luck too far I will probably smack him too.

I guess there are such varying degrees of temper.

I can see the other side of the arguement.

A friend of mine has a wayward teenage son. He spent hours and hours standing infront of her trying to wind her up,,calling her names, poking her and being nasty.

She asked him to stop, she tried ignoring him and then she lost her rag and grabbed her broom and beat him with it. She really regrets the incident as it gained nothing and it frightened her how easily she could have seriously hurt him. Since then she has refrained from smacking any of her other children.

This subject is another of those subjects where there will be differing opinions and everyone will just have to agree to disagree!

Cheers
C x

 

[cockergirl]

I am a parent- I have a toddler and a teenager. I smacked my son when he was younger on a couple of occasions (he's the teenager now!) but I can't remember the last time it happened- it was years ago. I'm not proud of it, because I'm sure there are better ways for better parents to discipline their children. My daughter, so far, has not been smacked- a simple telling-off is enough for her to stop whatever it is she's doing that is unacceptable.

 

[Onyxia]

Am a parent and yes to smacking- as long as it is used as a punishment NOT because the parent is at end of his/her teather and only if the child has fair warning before hand.

 

[Weezy]

Interesting fact stated on This Morning (this mornign LOL) - a child seldom remembers being smacked, but tends to ALWAYS remember a parent saying something like "I wish you were never born" etc

I think a smack on the hand or bottom is perfectly acceptable - but yu have to remember there is a thin line between smacking and beating and as Haybales said, you have to ensure you are NOT doing it out of anger or frustration, because if you are it is more than likely not benefitting the child and their education into right or wrong - if you feel guilty for reprimanding your child with a smack, more often than not the smack was not deserved or rightly administered

Just my take on it

 

[severnmiles]

I shall discipline my child for sure!

The wooden spoon and horse whip never did me any harm!

 

[kildalton]

I too was a child of the wooden spoon and riding crop !!

 

[Onyxia]

Cant agree more Weezy!
My pet hate is parents who hit(and I mean hit not smack) their children at home but wont do it in public- to me that just screams that they know its wrong- so why do it?
IMHO a smack is a tap on the bum, not hard enough to hurt/mark the child at all.The shock of getting a smack is what does the trick, not how much it hurts.

Personally, myself and OH will use smacks as a form of punishment when we feel it is warented even if it is banned by government.

 

[Weezy]

I use it as a reinforcement of "what I say goes" - however I NEVER smack if the kids are being *violent* against each other - smacking as a reprimand for hitting a sibling - what lesson does that teach!!!!

 

[PapaFrita]

I can think of several children who need a sharp smack...

NOT the same as hitting or beating, of course. I was smacked on occasion and bloody well deserved it!!

 

[suebingham]

I am a mom of 5 and grandma of 6 and so far, so good (no axe murderers or republicans yet). To me it's seems like a little swat to the backside can kinda break the tension sometimes. Count me amongst the yea-sayers.

 

[Jazz1]

I was smacked & thank my parents now for doing so!!
There is a difference between a smack & beating up so as long as the line isnt crossed then thats fine. With most children including myself it was more the shock that I had been smacked that made me behave, my Dad used to do them with a good sting to them rather than a hard smack that hurt a lot!!

 

[eekmon]

Yes I was smacked and I have smacked both my boys!

Not beaten but smacked!

 

[Mandz]

have to say that I agree with a short sharp smack when warranted.

Both my girls know that I have a limit and it is a very rare occasion that I do smack. I think the shock is more what hurts than the smack itself. They are given fair warning when they are pushing it and I will try all avenues before resorting to a smack,

I was smacked as a child and I did'nt turn out too bad

 

[RachelB]

[ QUOTE ]
I think the shock is more what hurts than the smack itself.

[/ QUOTE ]
I agree, I was smacked as a child by my dad, but he knew when to use it and when not to, and I always got told off first before it came to smacking. I was always so shocked that I had been so bad that I cried and cried, but not because I had been smacked, just because I had been bad and I knew it.
I know one person who was beaten as a child (she's an older woman now so it was a long time ago) and as a result she wouldn't think twice about beating a horse to make it behave or do as it was told (eg loading) as 'it never did me any harm'. That is the reason parents have to know their boundaries, because if they don't then how are they going to teach their children boundaries?

 

[sevenoceans]

I was smacked as child and learnt alot from rights to wrongs and never did me any harm... I am now well behaved young lady (sometimes he he he he!!) and i never went off the rails.

 

[Alibear]

Nope dead set against it , things it wrong. I don't think any human has a right to hit another human.

So no I have never smacked my boys and i never will and since I get complimented on them all the time I figure I am doing an OK job. There are a lot of other ways of disciplining kids.

Do you want a smack? Is the furthest I ever have to go.

 

[Sooty]

No. I didn't smack my children, who grew up with perfect manners. Smacking is causing another human being pain, in other words it is violence. If one smack doesn't work, what next? Two smacks? Then what? I am a believer in disciplining children, just not with violence.

 

[lillie07]

I was shocked at some of those parents on "I smack and am Proud" last night, it was disgraceful the way they treated there children. How is any child meant to respect someone they are petrified of!! And the language used towards such young children..... No wonder these kids have a problem with there language....

 

[Sooty]

[ QUOTE ]
I am a mom of 5 and grandma of 6 and so far, so good (no axe murderers or republicans yet).

[/ QUOTE ]

Love it!!

 

[GinaB]

I'm not a parent but a good slap never done me any harm. even then it was never anything major.

 

[lordflynn]

I am not a parent myself but the OH has kids. personally I am against smacking, I was never smacked myself and I have never seen a time when these kids needed smacking. Use of the naughty step or equivalent/losing a treat etc does the trick as long as you follow through.

From what I have seen, shouting and smacking leads to the kids shouting and smacking IMHO.

I would never have cheeked/disrespected my parents either but it hadnt nothing to do with the fear of a smack!

 

[Oaksflight]

I always got a smacked bottom when I was little, nothing wrong with it, as long as it's the last resort of the child doing something dangerous. We had a conversation about in psychology this year, me and my friend both said nothing wrong with it etc, but were the only ones! Rest were going on that one minute its a smacked bottom, the next it's a punch round the face ?! Erm.. not really.

My Mum still says to me "It's not too late for a smacked bottom Sophie!" at the age of 18!

 

[tw1nn1ejo]

i've been smaked on the bum once when i was little but i know i must have been doing something v. naughty or cheeky so i deserved it!

 

[Christmas_Kate]

As a parent of two (aged 6 and 21 months) I agree with smacking to a certain extent. One of the ladies on the programme went too far, actually hitting the child's fingers quite hard with a spatula!
Both my children have a warning. After the warning comes the time out step. That usually puts paid to whatever behaviour.
I remember my son running out in the road once, and yes, i smacked him. His behaviour was dangerous. My daughter has had a smacked hand, for touching a plug. Rather her have a smacked hand and recoil at the shock than get electocuted. I never threaten to smack unless it's something dangerous they are doing, as I think that's the only appropriate time. They then know, if they get a threat of a smack that what they're doing is really bad and they must stop.
I was smacked as a child, it did me no harm.
I am often comlimented on how well behaved my kids are when we're out so i can't be going that far wrong.