Sold my horse and new owner is a nightmare

Assuming you're happy with the way he's being kept from a welfare perspective, I'd be leaving them to it, now. You can't take him back for the reasons you've already stated and she's refusing help. Tell them this in no uncertain terms and ignore all further contact. Poor horse sounds a bit confused in her care and 4 weeks is not long at all for a horse to settle to a new routine and home.
 
Ambers Echo said:
I'm going against the grain here. Everyone is saying take him back but a) it sounds like you don't have a space and b) presumably you sold for a reason and c) there is now a query about an injury! She has no right to send him back or habve a refund or to hassle you. She needs to sell on herself and take the financial hit that comes from overhorsing yourself. Tell her he was sold as seen, she refused the vet, she refused your initial offers of help and she's on her own now. Then block them both and move on. There is no reason to think he can't find a good home and she has experienced support to advise her. But that is now her problem, not yours.
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I agree, the fact she wants her money back and to keep the horse is taking the p*** she is not in the position to be making demands, if you do want to help for the sake of the horse she would get the opposite to what she wants, I would take it back and give her whatever is left after expenses once he has been sold on, that is the fairest option although it would depend on you finding livery for the time you have him, if you really cannot find anywhere then it is up to them to sort it, most decent YO's can help with selling if asked.
 
For GDPR reasons I definitely wouldn't be passing on the contact details of other interested parties. If she's someone inclined to cause hassle, she may start bombarding prospective buyers that may no longer be interested.

If she's willing to keep him, and you have evidence where she overstated her riding ability and you permitted a vetting at the beginning, then I'd just switch off the phone at this stage. It does sound like a nightmare!
 
OP should certainly have checked with those people first but as she doesn't want them it doesn't matter anyway :)
 
MiniMilton said:
For GDPR reasons I definitely wouldn't be passing on the contact details of other interested parties. If she's someone inclined to cause hassle, she may start bombarding prospective buyers that may no longer be interested.
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Easily solved by contacting the interested parties and asking for permission, doesn’t sound like the buyer is interested in this option though just fancies a free horse!
 
I’ve only ever had this problem with a horse I’d put out on loan so the money wasn’t an issue and I was able to just go and get him. I can’t honestly say I wanted him back and finding a home had been a huge relief but the fact that he’d started being a complete shit worried me hugely. Obviously somethings going on or as above he’s just very unsettled.
Can you go visit? Maybe ride him and see her ride him. The problem might be instantly obvious to you. It was to me when I arrived at the loaners yard, my horse had been turned out with mares which was the one thing I said do not do. His whole personality and handle-ability would change in seconds round mares.
Could it be something fairly simple and would you be willing to go see?
 
Tillytiger said:
she wants a full refund and to keep him
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Sorry, are we reading this right? She doesn't actually want to send him back but she wants a refund? If that is correct, she is not being honest. Either she returns him for the refund or it is tough. It seems you are not in a position to take him back or to refund however much you would like to. To be honest, assuming you are in the UK, you are not going to sell him on again quickly so you will be out of pocket in livery costs even if you can find a space for him. The sensible answer is to say "walk away" but I appreciate this is hard with your beloved horse involved.
 
She’s made her bed and now she has to lie in it. This happened to me with my old horse when I sold him - I sold him to a novice who said she had loads of support on the yard she was keeping him at. I offered for her to ride him and get to know him at the yard he was on livery at as my livery was paid up until the end of the month. I sold him with his MTM saddle. I then had tonnes of phones calls, nasty texts and emails about how he wasn’t the horse I had described, the saddle didn’t fit and he was spooky and nappy. Turns out that’s what happens when you don’t a ride a horse for three months after buying and you keep it at home on its own in a field. I was beyond angry with her but I’m in touch with the person who has him now - I didn’t and couldn’t have the horse back and I never contemplated it.
 
I dont understand why YO contacted you at all. The YOs contract is with the new owner and if YO had any concerns they should be taken up with her livery.

Giving YO benefit of the doubt that she thought something underhand had happened to take advantage of the livery this has now been cleared up. YO should not be continuing contact with OP.

New owner sounds like a fruit loop and a chancing one at that.

OP if you want/are able to take horse back then I would say that you are prepared to pay £X to buy back the horse and will collect him on Y date. The price reflects the change in behaviour and possible injury since buyer took ownership. State that if you havent heard back within 24hrs you'll take that as confirmation that new owner does not wish to sell the horse back to you and you will cease communication after that time.

Then block/ ignore YO and new owner.

If you aren't in a position to take horse back (after all you sold for a reason) just message new owner saying horse was sold as seen and open to vetting, you are not responsible for any injuries that have occurred since she took ownership. That you will not be acknowledging any further messages.

Also message YO and tell her theres nothing you can do so any concerns that she has have to be taken up with the new owner.

Sorry you're having to deal with this OP. Selling is hard enough never mind having this drama to contend with.
 
Barlow said:
She’s made her bed and now she has to lie in it. This happened to me with my old horse when I sold him - I sold him to a novice who said she had loads of support on the yard she was keeping him at. I offered for her to ride him and get to know him at the yard he was on livery at as my livery was paid up until the end of the month. I sold him with his MTM saddle. I then had tonnes of phones calls, nasty texts and emails about how he wasn’t the horse I had described, the saddle didn’t fit and he was spooky and nappy. Turns out that’s what happens when you don’t a ride a horse for three months after buying and you keep it at home on its own in a field. I was beyond angry with her but I’m in touch with the person who has him now - I didn’t and couldn’t have the horse back and I never contemplated it.
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Good to know it’s not just me, it’s a horrible feeling, putting so much trust in a person and it totally back fires
 
Caveat emptor...we all make mistakes over purchases...anything from clothes to cars. The seller doesnt force a buyer to part with the cash and didn’t seek out the buyer. In this case OP sold in good faith and has no more responsibility. The buyer of the horse has to take responsibility for their decision. I’m also suggesting blocking numbers and moving on.
 
Bellaboo18 said:
Would you like him back at half what she paid?
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To be honest I would be much happier knowing he’s in a very loved home! I bought him to regain my confidence after an accident on my mums horse, which it has helped with but also made me realise I just don’t want to ride anymore, even on a safe plod! I just feel like I need a complete horse break and this had made that 100x worse! I just don’t enjoy them at the moment!
 
meleeka said:
Assuming you can afford to buy him back, I think that will be the simplest thing. Obviously she wouldn’t get to keep him, that’s just ridiculous!

Send her a typed letter with “without prejudice” at the top and state that you sold him in good faith after disclosing anything relevant and are not responsible for what happens to him now. You are, as a gesture of goodwill, prepared to buy him back for the price you sold him for and will collect him, subject to her agreement, on xx date. You do not intend to enter into any further correspondence on the matter and await her decision.
ETA- just read your reply. In that case I don’t think there’s anything you can do but tell her it’s not your problem and block her number.
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This seems more than reasonable to me...

But since you lost your stabling, you'd need to find somewhere else and that causes you supplementary difficulties and costs; so I'd offer to buy back the horse at a lower price, to recover some or all of the extra costs that are involved.

Or you could simply put this girl in contact with the other potential buyers that you had lined up, and walk away from what is, strictly speaking, not your problem.
 
It doesn’t sound like the horse is being neglected, if anything it’s ruling the roost, so I wouldn’t worry for it’s welfare if it had to stay with her. You’ve offered solutions- interested parties who may buy it, professionals who could help. You were open to vettings, she decided not to. If you don’t want the horse back you have no obligation to take it. And you certainly don’t refund her and leave the horse!!

At this point I’d say the horse was sound and open to vetting when tried and purchased. Say you’ve offered ways of getting professional help or selling the horse on, so as far as you are concerned there is nothing more you can do. Then block and ignore. The horse will be fine.
 
Tillytiger said:
Just an update, YO has messaged me again today asking if she can drop him back to me as new owner has left him there and not spoken to anyone in days and totally ignores all messages! I’ve suggested she contact a charity as I feel his needs are not met and it’s becoming unfair on everyone involved
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She can’t drop him back to you or ask a charity to take him. The horse is her responsibility in light of owner’s seeming abandonment- and she needs to go through legal channels to have an abandonment notice served.

What a hideous mess.

The only looser here is the horse. You really should have taken him back.
 
Tillytiger said:
Just an update, YO has messaged me again today asking if she can drop him back to me as new owner has left him there and not spoken to anyone in days and totally ignores all messages! I’ve suggested she contact a charity as I feel his needs are not met and it’s becoming unfair on everyone involved
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oh my gosh, poor you and poor horse! What a horrible situation to be in.

The contract is between the YO and the owner of the horse (which is not you anymore), as hard as it is be honest, tell her you don’t have a stable for him and can’t accept the horse back and then block her number.
 
Mahoganybay said:
oh my gosh, poor you and poor horse! What a horrible situation to be in.

The contract is between the YO and the owner of the horse (which is not you anymore), as hard as it is be honest, tell her you don’t have a stable for him and can’t accept the horse back and then block her number.
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I have done! I also don’t want to be accused of stealing him! Situation just gets more and more silly
 
Amymay said:
She can’t drop him back to you or ask a charity to take him. The horse is her responsibility in light of owner’s seeming abandonment- and she needs to go through legal channels to have an abandonment notice served.

What a hideous mess.

The only looser here is the horse. You really should have taken him back.
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She’s never wanted me to take him back! She wants to keep him but wants her money back! Even when I offered to have him back when she was having issues she said she wouldn’t consider selling him.
 
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