Strangers and friends of friends asking to ride your horses

[CarlungM]

I am sure it has happened to many horse owners, but wondered how you reacted.

I have been asked twice now and said no. I have good reasons for not wanting just anyone to ride one of my horses, but wondered if I am being mean. I would never ask someone myself, so I find it strange that people think tbis is acceptable.

I would welcome thoughts on this as I fear it will not be the last time it happens.

 

[HopOnTrot]

Sorry, it would affect my insurance so I can’t.

Then recommend a riding school locally.

 

[P.forpony]

Ask if you can borrow their dog, or child, or spouse....
Might give them a clue!

Alternatively just cackle manically and say of course!
As long as you're not afraid of death!
You'll be his 7th this year...
then smile sweetly

 

[Abacus]

I've had quite a few people (mostly people living in the village here, the type I know a bit from dinner parties etc) ask if their kids can come and ride. When I had small ponies I was happy to offer the odd ride for the sake of being friendly. The kids have loved it and generally the parents have been too busy to try and make it regular. These days I just don't have anything under 15.1 so it's easy to say no.

If someone can ride and asks to, I don't mind them riding my old boy, who I trust. I've recently welcomed someone I hardly know, who is going through a hard time (I won't give more detail) and it's a total pleasure to be able to make her week a bit more fun. I just say that the other horses are spooky / young / dangerous, which is off putting enough. If it isn't going to be good for your horses, find an excuse, probably a true one.

ETA: some people just don't realise it's not the same as asking if you can lend them a lawnmower or spare a lemon. You can explain why without feeling awkward.

 

[Green Bean]

I am fortunate (?) to have a horse everyone is scared of so don't have this problem. It is amazing how people are still stuck in an era where this sort of thing might have seemed acceptable. I agree with HopOnTrot, I would be dead worried my horse would take exception to being ridden by anyone else and do to them what she has done to me. I don't think my insurer would be very happy. This is of course coupled with a 'hell, no' she is my princess...

 

[The Xmas Furry]

I might respond with "gissa go in your car".....

The staple response is, I'm happy to reccomend X riding school. On being pushed at all, then I make it clear I have no insurance for pony rides etc, so it's a definite no.

 

[doodle]

I am also lucky that I have a 16.2 idiot so noone wants to

 

[Alibear]

In 30+ years of owning horses, it's never happened. It's usually more me having to pay people to ride mine!

 

[SEL]

I've got a 13h Thelwell pony and I have popped my niece and a friend's toddler on her (willingly both times) so I use a combination of "no insurance" and " the pony doesn't really like children so I only ask her to take my niece" for unwanted requests

She's actually fine with kids so long as they bring polos

 

[Equi]

It’s a hard no from me for anyone to ride my horse unless I’m physically there and have invited them to. A weirdo at the yard (gone now) had the impression my boy would be able to just be loaned out by anyone and they could invite their daughter round to ride him. Thankfully I was told by a third party and made sure I was clear that he is not to be ridden by anyone.

 

[9tails]

I own a saint that looks like a sinner. People that are not in the horse world think she's just a regular dobbin and occasionally ask but horse world people never do. For non-horse world people, I just outright say no without an option to reopen the conversation.

 

[Ceifer]

Sorry, it would affect my insurance so I can’t.

Then recommend a riding school locally.

Definitely this.
We have holiday accommodation and guests frequently ask if they can ride.

Saying I’m not insured is the truth and it means it’s not personal against them.

 

[blitznbobs]

Yes it’s 80 quid an hour and you need to show proof of your own
Insurance and sign an indemnity waver and give up a morning to hold him for the farrier…

 

[Julia0803]

I don’t mind if it’s someone I know well/am good friends with.

I’ve leant my boy out for a friend’s 10yr old niece so that they can hack together, for example. I’m happy for close friends’ kids to come up and have a quick sit… Altho occasionally vague acquaintances have dropped hints like bricks, which I’ve totally ignored, played stupid and told them about local riding schools.

But I was a bit upset a few months ago. Someone I used to be really quite close with for years and years, but we’d drifted apart over the last 5 years or so. I haven’t seen her in 18m. She messaged out of the blue and after a v brief, ‘hi, how are you?’, proceeded to tell me that her daughter was really into horses now and could she come and see mine and have a ride?

I didn’t actually msg back in the end. I was pretty disappointed and felt used. Which was a real shame as we used to get on so well, didn’t fall out or anything we were both just busy.

 

[Flowerofthefen]

I have no issue with my trainer riding my horse but I won't let anyone else. Its just not worth it. Mine will never be sold so I don't need to make sure anyone can ride them. Insurance is a very good get out.

 

[Wishfilly]

Honestly, no-one who's not horsey has ever asked. I would let a friend who was light enough have a sit, maybe a sensible child with the caveat that I don't know if he's ever had young children on him. Strangers I would have no issue saying no to, but as I say, no-one has ever asked!

 

[Melody Grey]

I am also lucky that I have a 16.2 idiot so noone wants to

Mine is Welsh x TB gelding that was cut late and used as a stallion previously….nuff said

 

[McFluff]

I’ve never been asked. I must give out ‘vibes’

However I would also never ask and am surprised at the number of posters who have been asked…what a weird thing to assume is ok to do.

 

[Ceifer]

I’ve never been asked. I must give out ‘vibes’

However I would also never ask and am surprised at the number of posters who have been asked…what a weird thing to assume is ok to do.

Generally with me it is none horsey adults with kids. They simply don’t know.

I’ve had one adult woman who made things a bit uncomfortable by saying it was her dream to ride and she’d fallen in love with my mare.

I only have the two here now. Ironically my pony is not child proof at all and actively avoids them.

 

[Birker2020]

I am sure it has happened to many horse owners, but wondered how you reacted.

I have been asked twice now and said no. I have good reasons for not wanting just anyone to ride one of my horses, but wondered if I am being mean. I would never ask someone myself, so I find it strange that people think tbis is acceptable.

I would welcome thoughts on this as I fear it will not be the last time it happens.

I think I'd offer them a sit if they really wanted to.

I know what it's like myself when you are so desperate to ride and no one offers or they offer but have no intention of meaning what they say. I've never been precious about my horses to the extent I wouldn't let others ride.

My new boss' wife used to have horses and he asked if she could come and visit any horse I bought, as he knows she'd really enjoy that and I replied of course she could, she could have a ride too. And I meant it 100% and have every intention of doing this.

 

[Ceifer]

I think I'd offer them a sit if they really wanted to.

I know what it's like myself when you are so desperate to ride and no one offers or they offer but have no intention of meaning what they say. I've never been precious about my horses to the extent I wouldn't let others ride.

I think there’s a lot to be said for this. I was a pony mad child who didn’t have much opportunity to ride. A friend of my parents sat me up on their shire horse when I was 8 and it made my year. But maybe I was just a very sad child .

I have allowed friends children to sit on my big horse but he doesn’t really enjoy it so I try to keep it to a minimum.

 

[Kirstineridesagain]

I think I'd offer them a sit if they really wanted to.

I know what it's like myself when you are so desperate to ride and no one offers or they offer but have no intention of meaning what they say. I've never been precious about my horses to the extent I wouldn't let others ride.

My new boss' wife used to have horses and he asked if she could come and visit any horse I bought, as he knows she'd really enjoy that and I replied of course she could, she could have a ride too. And I meant it 100% and have every intention of doing this.

As a long time rider without owning I love this attitude.

For the record, I would never randomly ask anyone to ride their horse. The way I've found my shares have been online. If I had a good friend with horses I bet I wouldn't have to ask, she would probably offer if it was suitable.

If I ever get my own I would have the same attitude, provided the horse was okay with different riders and not liable to do dangerous things. But I might say no if I felt it wasn't a good match. Anyway, who goes round asking to ride other people's horses?

 

[CarlungM]

I think I'd offer them a sit if they really wanted to.

I know what it's like myself when you are so desperate to ride and no one offers or they offer but have no intention of meaning what they say. I've never been precious about my horses to the extent I wouldn't let others ride.

My new boss' wife used to have horses and he asked if she could come and visit any horse I bought, as he knows she'd really enjoy that and I replied of course she could, she could have a ride too. And I meant it 100% and have every intention of doing this.

I should have clarified, the 'ask' was to take my horse out hacking .

 

[fidleyspromise]

It depends on who it is and how they ask.
I've been chatting to friends of my sister and they've mentioned their kid loves horses so I invite them to come with my sisters daughter. - none of them have arranged it yet but the offer is there.

I've had non horse friends and colleagues ask to come ride my horse/let their kids ride so I direct them to riding school.

I've had horse friends without a horse so I've let a few of them know they can come ride mine and I can borrow a friends horse for me so we can go out together.

Ask if you can borrow their dog, or child, or spouse....
Might give them a clue!

Alternatively just cackle manically and say of course!
As long as you're not afraid of death!
You'll be his 7th this year...
then smile sweetly

I know a few people that would happily lend their child or spouse out no thanks!!

Just remembered I have had strangers on the beach ask for a shot and also directed them to riding school.
It's when kids come running over wanting to pat the pony but they have flip flops on. That makes me cringe. My pony doesn't always stand still so I let them know sorry, but she's stressed and has to keep moving.

 

[Caol Ila]

When we had family over for my wedding last year, my uncle brought his two kids, age five and nine. He sent me (and my mother!) an email beforehand asking if the kids could ride my horses, saying they'd done a commercial trail ride or two.

I answered back with a very diplomatic email saying, no fu*ckin way.... both my horses are green and have no experience with kids, so it would not be safe. I added that my yard would take young kids out on their riding school ponies on led walks around the gallop tracks. But I think my uncle was hoping for a free pony ride.

Only time that's happened in all these years. Well, if you discount the random drunk Weegies in the park. "Kin I hiv a wee shot ae yer horse?"

 

[Fransurrey]

Like many, I've been in this situation. A friend of mine had a young boy who loved horses and asked if he could have a little ride. I obliged and of course she asked if she could do it every week! I politely said no, that he was my escape from 'life' and that a lot could go wrong for which I was not insured. He was also not a kid's pony (which was why I ended up with him - kids couldn't handle him). She was a little off with me for a couple of weeks, but did get over it!

 

[P.forpony]

I was a bit flippant earlier, but for context I've been asked many times in different situations and given different answers.

I used to teach, and granting the privilege of riding my own horse instead of one of the riding school horses was something I used to do.
It was a known thing at the yard and made lots of teenage girls work hard to achieve it!
It also made me smile to see them enjoying themselves on a much more advanced horse.

More recently I had a sainted Connie who I let lots of friends children ride. They'd never get a canter out of her but she was amazing for confidence building, and I could trust her to look after them.

My current tb is a very sensitive soul and easily upset, so I won't let just anyone sit on him.

I also have a huge amount of requests from people asking if their child can ride my 2yr old mini shetland colt. They can pat him and fuss him as much as they like, but it is and always will be a no to pony rides!

I was lucky enough as a child that kind people let me ride their ponies when I didn't have my own, so I know how much it means and would always want to do the same if I could. But the welfare of the animal and safety of all involved is the first priority

 

[ElleSkywalkingintheair]

I used to let anyone who asked have a sit on Gingerface Snr, as when I got her (28 years ago today as it happens) I'd been that horse mad kid that relied on the kindness of other. I had people from a little old dear who just always wanted to ride but never got the chance, to random small children and work colleagues kids. However one tale I've told many times re a work colleague demanding that her 'Enry got to come and have a ride as another colleague, who I was friends with outside work, had bought her son along. Apparently it wasn't fair 'Enry hadn't been invited along. Anyway long story short as I've told it many times, it ended up with 'Enry's mum turning up with another random woman and kid, who promptly p*ssed all over Gingerfaces back and afterwards I was treated to serving them both tea and biscuits while they winged about their husbands.

So in conclusion, yes I'd happily let kids of people I know and trust bring their kids, I'd even enjoy having a small keen child helper if the opportunity ever arose, but anyone I don't know, or who comes across as entitled that'll be a firm no from me.

 

[2 Dragons]

I let people I know and like have a little ride with me supervising.
Any random, loud, rude or entitled people get a no. I sometimes tell them the (true ) story of how R got the sack as a working livery for breaking a kids arm doing turn on the forehand on a lead rein, soon puts them off.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

I am sure it has happened to many horse owners, but wondered how you reacted.

I have been asked twice now and said no. I have good reasons for not wanting just anyone to ride one of my horses, but wondered if I am being mean. I would never ask someone myself, so I find it strange that people think tbis is acceptable.

I would welcome thoughts on this as I fear it will not be the last time it happens.

ruddy cheek, I would say NO!, I am very choosy who I let ride my donut, she is unpredictable spooker and behaviour. Your horse they are being rude.

or say

Yes ok as long as you have travel insurance as you may travel through the air at warp neck speed horizontally or vertically so need parachute also in case you have to disembark quickly.