Stupidest thing you've called the vet for?

[Parrotperson]

I took the wrong cat to the vets. I was convinced that Albert was the poorly one as he is a bit weird and eats all sorts. Poor boy had his temperature taken, an examination and some tablets for me to get home to see Alfie throwing up. Queue second visit to the vets with the correct cat.

and we have a winner!!! ??????

 

[Fjord]

I took my cat to the vet once because she had a weird lump and I panicked. The vet removed a tick. I then said, 'well don't you need to put anything on it!?!?' he just gave me a look and put a dab of antiseptic on it and gave me the cat back.

Rang the vet in tears because my mare was quivering, convinced she'd got some terrible disorder. Vet talked me down, it turns out she was cold and was shivering a bit. ?

 

[Jules111]

After working at an event yard for 12 months and having little to do with hairy natives I had to deal with a pony who had clumps of hair coming away, coat looked very dull and he was incredibly itchy. I asked the vet to take a look at him, convinced he had something sinister going on. Yep, he was moulting . Did my best to style it out, obviously just checking in case he had mites because the owner was a bit anxious . Vet did that knowing smile and advised me to tell the owner pony was just naturally shedding his coat, completely normal and healthy .

Also took my cat the to vet, she'd escaped and was out for the night. Few weeks later looking a bit fat. I was convinced we had an unplanned pregnancy. When examining her the vet was very surprised at what he found, a robust pair of testicles. She was a he. He recommended castration would stop any unplanned pregnancies. To be fair it was a very, very hairy cat who was able to hide his assets .

 

[Boulty]

Erm probably the time I booked them in to remove wolf teeth that turned out not to be there (in my defense 2 other professionals had told me they were present & needed to go...). Turns out his cheek teeth are further forward than normal though which is what other people had been feeling.

 

[DSB]

Resident vet away
One mare left to foal
Textbook foaling
Son and I congratulating ourselves
Mare suddenly starts to moan and thrash around on ground
Son pulls foal away
Speed dial vet
Who gets held up by two trains at level crossing
Mare still in agony
Start lookng for foster mare
Head of practice arrives
Leaps out of car
Mare gets to her feet
Delivers afterbirth,says I feel fine
Where's my baby
Vet goes home
No charge

 

[catembi]

I nearly did a Sunday night call out for colic... My usually greedy horse had only picked at his dinner and was looking round at himself and being restless/pawing. I had dialled the number & was about to press go when something made me have a closer look. The tack/feed room at the time had those low energy bulbs that get brighter reallllly slowly, so I'd just grabbed the buckets in the dark, done the food on autopilot...and hadn't noticed because it was dark that there was a poo in my horse's bucket & I'd put his dinner on top of it! So he wasn't looking round at himself because he'd got colic - he was looking round at ME to ask why there was a poo in his dinner! And getting restless and antsy as he wanted his food! Emptied his bowl out into the wheelbarrow, gave it a good scrub, got him some fresh food...problem solved! Whew!

 

[BronsonNutter]

I've been asked (whilst at a yard already, thankfully I did not have to drive specially for this) to look at a 'lump underneath this mare'. It was a penis. I'm not sure what they thought was going on...

 

[Quigleyandme]

It wasn’t me honest. Friend saw his recently calved cow down and immediately called the vet. Cow was dead. Vet informs caller that he’s good but not that good.

 

[Starzaan]

Had one come in for rehab who suddenly developed horrific hives ALL over his body. Honestly, there was not an inch of skin that didn't have hives on it.

By the time the vet arrived they had all vanished. Bloody thing. It turned out he was allergic to the smoke from hot shoeing, and had to have an antihistamine injection from then on before he was shod. But god did I feel like a lemon when the vet turned up and there was this perfectly normal horse.

Luckily, I ran rehab yards for a long time so knew the vet extremely well haha.

 

[SEL]

I've been asked (whilst at a yard already, thankfully I did not have to drive specially for this) to look at a 'lump underneath this mare'. It was a penis. I'm not sure what they thought was going on...

Not a vet story but you've reminded me of when I went to see the horses at Jerez with a friend. In a voice that carried she asked why they all had dangling bits by their back legs.

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

To be fair, one dog had just died of cancer (spinal and stomach) and his brother had a lump on his back. Turned out to be a fatty lump.

 

[HorseMaid]

My dog had been limping for a couple of days, it started gradually and got worse. Decided she needed the vet. When we left home she hopped to the car on 3 legs, totally non weight bearing and I was thinking something awful was going on. When we got to the vets 10 minutes later the vet saw her jump out of the car and walk (nay trot!) perfectly normally on 4 legs into the practice. Lots of raised eyebrows and got sent off with a bottle of meds which were never needed. Bloody dog!

 

[windand rain]

Reminds me of a couple who bought a mare for a lead rein pony for their toddler rode it every day, couldn't understand what the lumps were between ts back legs. Thinking it might be about to foal called the vet to discover it had massive testicles and was neither a mare nor gelded. In fact it was a three year old colt that had never been backed.

 

[GoldenWillow]

I called the vet because Granny horse was shivering. She was cold. I'd somehow not noticed that the temperature had dropped, thought she was colicky and took hay off her which made it worse. ? To be fair, it looked weird enough that the vet took full bloods! Or maybe he was just trying to soothe the hysterical owner ??. I put a fleece on her and he said it was fine to give her hay and low and behold... the symptoms disappeared like magic. ? What an idiot!!!

PF I'm wondering if this was the same day?

Went to bring in ponies one summer morning to find shetland shivering, I knew the temperature had plummeted and it was raining with a cold east wind. Popped him in stable with some hay and went back to check him a few hours later. He was still, shivery although not as bad so after checking temp and droppings (normal) rang my vet. He suggested rugging him and that he was just cold, with my fingers crossed that it was just that, I did and in a few hours was fine although started shivering if left unrugged ? he was out a few days later and I apologised for being a muppet but apparently I was one of quite a few that had rang that day with the same thing!

Tbf the temp had dropped to 7 degrees and rain. I also found out that a very experienced friend had had the vet out to her elderly mare for the same thing which made me feel better. I've also discovered for the few weeks that the shetland has his
super fine summer coat he needs rugged if it's cold and wet!

 

[Parrotperson]

I saw something on twitter the other day.

vet called to a smallholder with 10 sheep which they'd had all summer. this was September.

emergency call. could he come asap as all sheep had lost their top teeth!

vet went too. charged 15% extra for being called out by idiots!

 

[PapaverFollis]

PF I'm wondering if this was the same day?

Went to bring in ponies one summer morning to find shetland shivering, I knew the temperature had plummeted and it was raining with a cold east wind. Popped him in stable with some hay and went back to check him a few hours later. He was still, shivery although not as bad so after checking temp and droppings (normal) rang my vet. He suggested rugging him and that he was just cold, with my fingers crossed that it was just that, I did and in a few hours was fine although started shivering if left unrugged ? he was out a few days later and I apologised for being a muppet but apparently I was one of quite a few that had rang that day with the same thing!

Tbf the temp had dropped to 7 degrees and rain. I also found out that a very experienced friend had had the vet out to her elderly mare for the same thing which made me feel better. I've also discovered for the few weeks that the shetland has his
super fine summer coat he needs rugged if it's cold and wet!

That's quite funny! I was in Cumbria at the time too. It was either 2013 or 2014. I'm glad it isn't just me that has done this though!

 

[GoldenWillow]

That's quite funny! I was in Cumbria at the time too. It was either 2013 or 2014. I'm glad it isn't just me that has done this though!

I thought you might have been, it would have been one of those years I think. It definitely made me feel better when I heard about others as I did feel an idiot, although shetland is obviously a wimp in his summer clothes!

 

[chaps89]

not a hysterical owner (although.....!) but a completely hysterical drama queen of a gelding

Friend took him hunting. Phoned me mid afternoon. Cold I collect urgently and take them to the vets. He's on three legs and would put the forth down... looks like a broken leg.

Anyway he loads on three legs (don't ask but he did it ok!) and off we go t the vets, horse still muddy from hunting

Explain to vet we think leg broken as wont put it down. He walks horse up. Not weight bearing at all. Friend is now crying because she fears the worst.

Vet takes horse into treatment room comes out 5 mins later with horse happily walking on all fours and looking v pleased with himself.

Vet says "we washed his legs of to see what was going on and he happily put it down and is fine."

he didn't like the mud. He was a hunter and HE DIDN"T LIKE THE MUD!!

we did feel stupid.

All the replies on this thread are good but this wins for me. I’m sure it was heart stopping at the time but I was howling reading it.
close second is @Pearlsasinger rottie going for the toffee sticky lab

 

[dorsetladette]

I found my old little welsh A in the field dragging her hind leg. Literally dragging it. She wouldn't let me touch it or get near her back end. Rang the vet (on a sunday) thinking she'd done her stifle or something terrible. After some persuasion the vet managed to exam her. We found the tiniest abscess in her toe!!! Dug it out poulticed and she walked soundly back in to the paddock. I honestly thought I was going to loose the old cow bag that day.

 

[Fransurrey]

I nearly called the equine vet convinced that my pony had eye tumours. Turned out to be the corpora nigra, which I hadn't noticed in the previous 2 years of horse ownership (and riding before that). Luckily I'd spoken to a friend on the phone and described it. She asked if I was sure it wasn't the CN and penny dropped. Lucky embarrassment escape...

 

[Alibear]

The vet advised I needed to put my mare down due to very bad stringhalt; I refused and got a referral to Sue Dyson. I talked her through the whole history; Sue went out picked up the hoof, popped an abscess and mare was sound again. The farrier had also checked before I took her, and both he and the vet were mortified when I rang them with the diagnosis.

 

[Xmasha]

Brilliant thread , couldn’t pick a winner as they are all so funny . Much needed

 

[Annagain]

Luckily, I worked it out pretty quickly so didn't phone the vet but for a spilt second I was on the verge of the vet AND the police.

I went up to the yard to find Archie with long thin wounds all over his back end. I thought he'd been slashed with a Stanley knife. I fet sick and couldn't believe he was grazing happily, without a care in the world. As I got closer to him I could see his tail absolutely drenched in blood and was imagining he'd been subjected to all sorts of horrific attacks.

Then I got a bit closer and realised the blood on his body was just that, there were no cuts. I had a good look at his tail and realised the melanoma he has in it had burst. It had soaked the tail hair and attracted the flies, then as he'd tried to swat the files he'd flicked the blood from his tail all over his quarters - each one looked like a slash mark. I've neve been so relieved in my life.

A quick bath, lots of Filtabac on the melanoma, fly spray all over and some Danilon for a couple of days and he was right as rain.

I had a bloody good cry though.It was partly relief and partly because I hate those melanomas with a passion for what they do to him. Luckily he's only had three ruptures in 15 years and this was by far the worst but they just look so sore when they do.

 

[Nasicus]

Another one that's rung the vet for a shivering horse before. Magic what a cosy rug can fix

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

A different Rott had a warty-type thingy on her elbow, seen by vet and declared to be best left alone. Then it started bleeding one day after she had been playing with the Lab pups. We washed it and monitored it but it wouldn't stop bleeding for about an hour -and it wasn't just a dribble of blood. So we rang the vet who said 'bring her down'. We put towels into the car to absorb some of the blood and sister drove her there. The towels were covered in blood at the end of the 20 mins journey.
Covid regulations meant that the vet nurse took Rott into the surgery. When she brought her back, she said 'It had stopped bleeding by the time the vet got to see it!'

 

[Annagain]

I did hear someone talking on the radio the other day about his trip to the doctor. His girlfriend brought him breakfast in bed, which he ate and then they both had a bit of a lie in. An hour later they were getting up and his girlfriend noticed a new mole on his back. Close inspection and comparing with images on the internet convinced them it was something sinister so he got an emergency appointment and went to the doctor later that day. The doctor took one look and told him she'd remove it straight away. He was terrified, thinking it must be something so serious to need removing so quickly and was horrified when the doctor started fiddling around with no local anaesthetic. He then felt a tearing sensation on his back and seconds later the doctor presented him with a dried Coco Pop.

 

[ArklePig]

I saw something on twitter the other day.

vet called to a smallholder with 10 sheep which they'd had all summer. this was September.

emergency call. could he come asap as all sheep had lost their top teeth!

vet went too. charged 15% extra for being called out by idiots!

Am I the only one who had NO IDEA what was going on in a sheeps mouth? I've just been googling and I feel completely mindblown.

 

[Mule]

not a hysterical owner (although.....!) but a completely hysterical drama queen of a gelding

Friend took him hunting. Phoned me mid afternoon. Cold I collect urgently and take them to the vets. He's on three legs and would put the forth down... looks like a broken leg.

Anyway he loads on three legs (don't ask but he did it ok!) and off we go t the vets, horse still muddy from hunting

Explain to vet we think leg broken as wont put it down. He walks horse up. Not weight bearing at all. Friend is now crying because she fears the worst.

Vet takes horse into treatment room comes out 5 mins later with horse happily walking on all fours and looking v pleased with himself.

Vet says "we washed his legs of to see what was going on and he happily put it down and is fine."

he didn't like the mud. He was a hunter and HE DIDN"T LIKE THE MUD!!

we did feel stupid.

??

 

[maddielove]

A friend of a friend took their dog to the vets with what was assumed to be ticks on his belly that they couldn't remove, alas they were just his nipples!

 

[fiwen30]

A friend of a friend took their dog to the vets with what was assumed to be ticks on his belly that they couldn't remove, alas they were just his nipples!

Oh my god, imagine trying to remove your dog’s nipples!!