PinkFairy
Well-Known Member
Hi everyone, it's weird to be posting here again after so long away from the forums but when I got the news about my dog, this was the only place I felt I could talk about it.
Just to give a brief background..
Basically my hubby has had our staffie (one of 3) for nearly 10 years after getting her when she was a puppy. Not long after getting her, he got a second staff pup which was the runt of his sister's litter that she'd got from her two. (Hope that makes sense so far lol). He has had both dogs since pups and the first pup seemed to adopt the second one and as they've grown up together, she's been the matriarch of the group (we got a third dog about 3 years ago) and she's pretty much the central character of them all, she has the biggest personality and is just as mad as a box of frogs lol. She's wonderful with children and is nicknamed the nanny dog by family members because she's just fantastic, so we had always looked forward to the day that we would introduce her to our own child. For various reasons, I have formed very deep emotional attachments to the dogs and I have close bonds with all of them, so to lose one of them feels like I'm losing a part of me.
So that's kind of the background, I have only been with hubby for just under 6 ish years so he's obviously got more of an emotional attachment to her for personal reasons and so when we noticed she wasn't behaving quite herself in that she was losing weight but her belly was still rounded and full, she would hide away and just generally be very quiet which is highly unlike her as she normally loves playing, has oodles and oodles of energy and is always running about and getting under my feet lol, we took her to the vets and they did a blood test and ultrasound. The blood results showed she was anaemic which explained her quietness and being lethargic but nothing else showed so the vet said it was looking more positive. But then came the ultrasound results and I tell you,I was totally shocked. The vet said he found multiple tumours around her liver which he said were most likely to be cancerous but he couldn't say for certain without testing them. He explained that surgery wasn't really an option because there were so many tumours and we could really only medicate her with steroids to slow the progression down or try treatment for the cancer which wouldn't cure her, it would only give us a few more months with her or, as the bloodwork showed her liver was still functioning, she didn't seem to be in pain, we could leave her for a while and then make a decision.
I knew straight away (was alone when I was told) that my hubby wouldn't want to put her through medications and surgeries and so I knew that the only option left would be to put my darling girl to sleep.
The vet said without treatment she would likely only have a matter of weeks to live which absolutely floored me. I cannot believe that she could be totally normal, bounding around etc one day and then the next a totally different dog with a terminal illness and I've been in floods of tears at the situation.
But saying all that, we have made the decision to put her to sleep, we don't want her to suffer and we don't want to wait til it gets worse either. At the moment, her belly is swollen and her breathing has changed to shorter breaths which the vet explained was because of the swollen belly, so I'm trying my utmost to make her last days comfortable but in the back of my mind, I just question whether I'm giving up on her. I feel guilty at the thought of putting her to sleep because I feel like I should do more for her. I am heartbroken that this beautiful girl's life is ending this way and it feels way too soon to say goodbye to her. I know it's the best thing for her but i can't imagine her not being around, terrorising the neighbours cats and getting into mischief with the other two... She is such a big personality that losing her will create a huge void and the thought of driving to the vets with her in the car and then driving home without her breaks my heart to pieces.
I'm sorry for rambling on but this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I've never had pets that I was this attached to and losing her so soon is obviously totally unexpected.
I don't know what I'm expecting to gain by posting here, but I guess by chatting with other dog lovers, I was hoping that someone could reassure me that we are doing the right thing because it is breaking my heart. The middle dog that she grew up with will be without her "mother" and I don't know how she will react to the loss. We have a third dog but their relationship is not as close so I don't know what will happen to the remaining two when she's gone.
It seems strange to think that she's so poorly because I see glimpses of her as her old self, mainly when there is food around lol, her eyes go wide and she's all of a sudden on alert because there's food lol and she takes treats and has been eating, drinking (although not as much as usual), going out for the loo etc. I just can't get my head around how unwell she is because she doesn't look it at times but I know that inside, she is very poorly and the decision we have made is for the best.... I just feel devastated by it all. Again, sorry for the majorly long essay. Just needed to get that all off my chest.
Just to give a brief background..
Basically my hubby has had our staffie (one of 3) for nearly 10 years after getting her when she was a puppy. Not long after getting her, he got a second staff pup which was the runt of his sister's litter that she'd got from her two. (Hope that makes sense so far lol). He has had both dogs since pups and the first pup seemed to adopt the second one and as they've grown up together, she's been the matriarch of the group (we got a third dog about 3 years ago) and she's pretty much the central character of them all, she has the biggest personality and is just as mad as a box of frogs lol. She's wonderful with children and is nicknamed the nanny dog by family members because she's just fantastic, so we had always looked forward to the day that we would introduce her to our own child. For various reasons, I have formed very deep emotional attachments to the dogs and I have close bonds with all of them, so to lose one of them feels like I'm losing a part of me.
So that's kind of the background, I have only been with hubby for just under 6 ish years so he's obviously got more of an emotional attachment to her for personal reasons and so when we noticed she wasn't behaving quite herself in that she was losing weight but her belly was still rounded and full, she would hide away and just generally be very quiet which is highly unlike her as she normally loves playing, has oodles and oodles of energy and is always running about and getting under my feet lol, we took her to the vets and they did a blood test and ultrasound. The blood results showed she was anaemic which explained her quietness and being lethargic but nothing else showed so the vet said it was looking more positive. But then came the ultrasound results and I tell you,I was totally shocked. The vet said he found multiple tumours around her liver which he said were most likely to be cancerous but he couldn't say for certain without testing them. He explained that surgery wasn't really an option because there were so many tumours and we could really only medicate her with steroids to slow the progression down or try treatment for the cancer which wouldn't cure her, it would only give us a few more months with her or, as the bloodwork showed her liver was still functioning, she didn't seem to be in pain, we could leave her for a while and then make a decision.
I knew straight away (was alone when I was told) that my hubby wouldn't want to put her through medications and surgeries and so I knew that the only option left would be to put my darling girl to sleep.
The vet said without treatment she would likely only have a matter of weeks to live which absolutely floored me. I cannot believe that she could be totally normal, bounding around etc one day and then the next a totally different dog with a terminal illness and I've been in floods of tears at the situation.
But saying all that, we have made the decision to put her to sleep, we don't want her to suffer and we don't want to wait til it gets worse either. At the moment, her belly is swollen and her breathing has changed to shorter breaths which the vet explained was because of the swollen belly, so I'm trying my utmost to make her last days comfortable but in the back of my mind, I just question whether I'm giving up on her. I feel guilty at the thought of putting her to sleep because I feel like I should do more for her. I am heartbroken that this beautiful girl's life is ending this way and it feels way too soon to say goodbye to her. I know it's the best thing for her but i can't imagine her not being around, terrorising the neighbours cats and getting into mischief with the other two... She is such a big personality that losing her will create a huge void and the thought of driving to the vets with her in the car and then driving home without her breaks my heart to pieces.
I'm sorry for rambling on but this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I've never had pets that I was this attached to and losing her so soon is obviously totally unexpected.
I don't know what I'm expecting to gain by posting here, but I guess by chatting with other dog lovers, I was hoping that someone could reassure me that we are doing the right thing because it is breaking my heart. The middle dog that she grew up with will be without her "mother" and I don't know how she will react to the loss. We have a third dog but their relationship is not as close so I don't know what will happen to the remaining two when she's gone.
It seems strange to think that she's so poorly because I see glimpses of her as her old self, mainly when there is food around lol, her eyes go wide and she's all of a sudden on alert because there's food lol and she takes treats and has been eating, drinking (although not as much as usual), going out for the loo etc. I just can't get my head around how unwell she is because she doesn't look it at times but I know that inside, she is very poorly and the decision we have made is for the best.... I just feel devastated by it all. Again, sorry for the majorly long essay. Just needed to get that all off my chest.
