Sudden loss of horse help with the grief

Alchemy

Alchemy

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So last Sunday took my very healthy 21 year old for a walk round one of our fields then 10 mins in the school got back to yard I un tacked him and because he was quite hot gave him a quick wash down (he has Cushing a and was going to clip him before the summer) he then collapsed on the floor like someone had pulled all his legs from under him he stayed there for few mins I had called the vet at this point then he got up and I took him back to his stable where he sat down quietly 20 mins later he started to get very restless and getting up and down but not really thrashing about at this point vet arrived gave him bite, bus open and some sedation so she could tube him he was then getting more and more uncomfortable and vet couldn't rectal him as he was just getting up then straight down she gave Finadine but that didn't help so I made the decision very quickly to have him PTS.
He would never have made it to hospital and through surgery (he was 21) due to the severity of the colic and I owed him so much not to let him suffer. It was very peaceful as he was already down and I had his head in my arms when the vet injected him
My heart is broken I cannot get over how quickly it all happened and he is never coming back. I collected his ashes on Saturday and still I cannot believe I will never see his beautiful face again.
Not sure what I was hoping to achieve posting on here but wanted to reach out for to people who have lost their best friends, I had him nearly 13 years and he was my best friend and therapist in dark days the reason I got up in the mornings

Any help to get over this heart ache? Well I won't I know that. Currently can't bring myself to pack away his things.
Thanks for reading
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Sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my horse to colic very suddenly to. Time really is the only thing that will help. It will still be very raw. Take care x
 
Hi, I'm really sorry to hear of your loss :( I've lost two of mine over the last month, both from the same thing. The horse I lost on Wednesday was a pony I had owned for 20 years, since I was 4 and I miss her terribly.

I've found it's best not to rush things - I've only just cleaned out my horses stable today. Just be kind to yourself and do what you need to do, go to the yard if you want, don't if you don't. It's awful but it sounds like he had a lovely life with you, free of illness and pain and you were brave enough to let him go when he needed to go.
 
Sadly I too have been where you are now. The only thing that will ease the pain is a lot of time. It was 13 years for me too, raised him from 6 months, he was at his very best when I lost him to colic.

My thoughts are with you.
 
Oh no! So sorry to read this - so hard to see them go like that but you did the right thing not to prolong the pain he was obviously experiencing.... you did the responsible thing. All I can say is be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve for your friend and remember the happy times and the wonderful memories and don't forget to talk about it <3
 
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Take comfort that you were there for him, and he didn't suffer long. I would do the same in that situation too, in fact it was nearly like that when I lost my mare in September. I'm so grateful it was quick.
It is a huge shock, and the sadness never goes away. They are part of us. But, as each day goes by, some days will be easier, and those days will become more often. You start to remember the good times without being tearful and I've started laughing when I talk about my mare, doing her random daft things!
I've sold/passed on some of her things, others I've kept. It was a good month before I cleaned/looked at/sorted out/bagged up belongs, there is no rush.

Take care of yourself. Many hugs x
 
what a shock for you, you can be thankful that it was very quick and you were there for him...the decision was made for you in a way, but you made the brave decision to not allow him to suffer. at his age it was the kindest thing to do and believe me it will get easier but will take time. i have had to have 4 horses put down the youngest was 22 and the oldest 35 and i can now remember the good times with 3 of them, the last one was only in september so still too early to not remember that last day and to remember when she was healthy and sound and having fun. we all do things differently and whatever you do to cope is fine. best wishes to you
 
Thank you all x &#55357;&#56874; I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself everyday and at weekends ? I'm not ready to ride anything else in fact I'm not sure I ever want to ride again. I really can't take it all in :( I miss my boy so much he was the reason I got up in the mornings when aspects of my life fall apart. 1 week on and I can't get my head round it even though I picked up his ashes Saturday only 6 days after my world fell apart &#55357;&#56468;&#55357;&#56874;
 
So sorry to read this, sending love and strength. It sounds like you made the right decision for him, you didn't prolong his suffering and you gave him a wonderful, happy 13 years. I lost mine very suddenly a year ago yesterday, she was 12 and I'd had her 6 years. I felt exactly the same, it never really gets any less painful, but it does get easier and the sadness comes further apart, but it takes a lot of time. I did end up with a new one, who I bought 4/5 months after I lost my girl. He has found his way into my heart, but it did take a few months before he really did. For me, having him has really helped, but not everyone finds that. Don't worry if it takes time before you can bring yourself to clean out his things, it took me months before I was ready to do it fully. *hugs*
 
I am so sorry for your loss. The shock and the suddenness make emergency pts very difficult to cope with BUT you did exactly the right thing for him, so that he didn't suffer. Be glad that you were with him and noticed his illness immediately and that you had had a nice time together earlier that day.
You will need time to come to terms with your loss, in time you will feel able to look at photos of your horse, to make decisions about his things and to remember all the good times that you had together.
When we had our first horse pts after a field accident, it took 2 yrs before we got another one but then we bought more and since then i have found that having to look after the others helps when we have lost one.
 
So very sorry - it is awful to lose them, and whilst time does help and makes it less raw, it is always there. You did the right thing for your boy and give it time, the fact you were there and with him will bring you comfort. Take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve - you loved him and he was a big part of your life X
 
So sorry for your loss. It's a shock and it will take time to not tear up whenever they cross your mind.

Take your time with things and don't rush to get stable sorted ect. Try to be around supportive friends. I lost my boy in September and I can now look back and think about how funny he was but the sadness is still there. Time is a great healer.

Wishing you well. Big hugs.
 
So sorry to hear this: your old boy was special to you and was very privileged to have had you there for him in his final moments. You loved him in life, and he loved you back, and when it counted, you made the best decision, and the most humane decision, that you could have made for him.

As others have said, give yourself time, to grieve and to mourn his loss.

For the first few days/weeks/months, you will feel a horrible cold feeling right inside you, of unspeakable sorrow, loss, and grieving. You will cry at odd moments, odd things will set you off - I remember when I lost my old boy I was sitting on the train and saw a horse in a field as the train was passing which was exactly like him - I knew it wasn't him, yet I still had to turn my head to make sure........ then I felt tears running down my cheeks. There will be other triggers for you, things that happen that will set you off. Expect this, don't think you're losing your mind or anything, just sit it out and let yourself go through the transition period. You may feel your old boy's energy very much with you at this time.

I will still cry on occasions about losing my first little pony just over thirty years ago, I still miss him and grieve his loss as I would for a member of the family, because that is what he was.

In time, and as others have said you do need to give yourself time: you may feel the time is right to get another horse. Not that you will replacing the one you've lost, no, not at all, it will be merely that you are seeking another Friend for companionship, love, and fun. The advice that I was given, by my farrier in fact, was to not try to replace what you've lost, but to go for something completely different next time around. It may be that next time you have a mare (instead of a gelding) - or perhaps a totally different type to what you had before. Just wait and see what comes along, in the right time. Never say "never" either, right now you are grieving and your heart is breaking, but there may be another time when another horse might come into your life......

Losing a horse never gets any easier, it just doesn't; so so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself, and give yourself all the time you need to grieve which is what you need to do right now :( :( :( :(
 
My thoughts are with you. I don't think we ever 'get over' losing such a special part of our hearts, but we do get used to it. The days become easier, the memories comforting and the loss becomes a part of us.
 
I'm so very sorry for your sudden loss OP. It took me several weeks to come to terms with the loss of my darling old boy, and whilst it wasn't as sudden as yours, I had to make the call on an outwardly healthy and happy 25 year old who simply lost the ability the get up easily.

You will have days when you're able to deal with stuff, days when you won't. Don't rush. I, too, don't want to own/ride another horse. The time isn't right for me now anyway, but who knows what I'll do when it is? I lost my boy in February, and I miss him like crazy, especially with spring here.

Take care of yourself and treasure your years of happy memories.
 
So sorry. As others have said give yourself time to greive. Go with it and when you need to just let it out. Take each day as it comes. I lost my boy 6 weeks ago. He will always be with you, we carry them in our hearts . Look after yourself xx
 
So sorry for your loss. I have lost a horse, but not suddenly, and a close family member suddenly. Sudden loss is a terrible shock and I found it took some time to accept it had actually happened. However the comfort is that the dead person/animal didn't have to put up with a long period of pain, indignity, misery and fear. That's bad enough with a person but so much harder for an animal who doesn't understand what's happening and why. You were there for your horse and made the humane decision for him when it was the only kind thing left for you to do. Give yourself time and don't put yourself on a deadline to do certain things or feel a certain way.
 
So sorry what an absolute shock losing him so suddenly. All I know from dealing with all sorts of grief is only time will help you process what has happened in your mind until you come to terms with it. You're clearly a loving owner who put his needs first so don't feel bad about making the decision to pts.

There is no need to hurry to tidy away his stuff so don't. I've a healthy 22yr old that I've had for 12 yrs so very similar to you and I know the day I lose him I'll probably go to bed for a week I'll be so devastated.

Sending love and hugs x
 
I'm so sorry for your loss, it is so hard when you have to act because nothing medical can be done to help. You will be coming to terms with the shock as well as the grief of loss. Time will help, and you know that you did everything you could for him. x
 
So sorry for your loss, it will be a complete shock and I know its hard but take comfort in that you were there for him and you did the right thing.

I lost my boy unexpectedly and suddenly to colic in Jan 16 and I still struggle to come to terms with it, I had 2 horses on the same yard so I had to go up to take care of the other when there was days I really didn't want to. Its still hard walking past his stable and field everyday... I only just recently cleared out his rugs, there are a couple that I have kept as I cant bring myself to part with them and his bridle still hangs in my tack locker with all his other things, when I'm ready I will clean it up and keep it at home.

Take things slowly, don't expect too much from yourself and don't rush into anything until you feel ready to do so x
 
I feel for you. I lost mine of 16 years in a very similar way. I felt very guilty because I had hacked him out that morning too. I burst into floods of tears in an important meeting the following day and I'm slightly teary even now, seven years on, when I think about him.

However, it does get easier. I didn't rush into anything and didn't ride for a couple of months. We were in the process of trying to sell our house etc and I had some kind friends who let me ride their horses occasionally but I never felt the same way about them.

Two years after losing my lad, I was in a position to buy another. I found the whole process hard but ended up with another horse who has become very dear to me now. The horse I lost was a proper character, as is the current one. They have some things in common but are very different "people". I will never forgot old horse or the grief of losing him but it did mean that new horse, who had been through the mill a bit, got a chance of a one-to-one home. He waits at the gate for me every morning, comes down the field if he hears my car and follows me around like a puppy.

Being a sentimental fool, I did keep my old lad's saddle. It is too small for current horse but I did buy the same make in a bigger size as it still feels like "home".

Don't rush yourself - I had a massive amount of grief for my old horse - but life does go on and somewhere, some time, there will be another horse waiting for you to come along.
 
Very sorry for you. I lost mine after a 6-month battle with an illness, & I found it very, very hard.

Re getting another horse: at first I felt that it would be disloyal to 'replace' Catembi, but then I realised that it was in fact a tribute to him that he'd left such a chasm in my life that I simply couldn't bear for it to go unfilled. The only thing that could fill a horse-shaped chasm for me was another horse.

I really hope you feel better soon. (((hugs)))
 
Oh I am sorry. What a terrible shock for you. It can be very traumatic watching a horse with severe colic.

I think in the coming days the shock will begin to wear off and you will be able to begin to accept his loss and grieve properly for your lovely old boy.

Sending you big ((hugs)) because I know exactly what you are going through right now. xx
 
Thank you all so much for your conforting words I've tried going down to yard but to see everyone else enjoying their horses planning their summers and life going on just makes me feel awful I almost resent it which sounds awful and selfish :( and unlike me. All I want to do is curl up in bed and never get out, Having no boyfriend/husband he was my much much better half
 
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