Supervising young riders on hacks

[abbijay]

What are your thoughts on hacking out on the roads with a young person, as a "responsible adult"?
There's a lovely girl on our yard who is 16 but very immature for her age, she's got a superstar pony but is very novicey, has only really been riding for about a year and is very nervous about most things.
She's a lovely girl and I really want to encourage her as she is nervous but I really do not feel comfortable to take on responsibility for her, especially in new or more challenging environments. My horse is big, green and sharp so far from an ideal companion (a lovely chap but not a true nanny horse yet) if another horse starts cantering I will struggle to stop him joining in - we are working on it but like many things it takes time.
She's from a horsey family but they don't have another horse on our yard and I can't just offer mine up as he's loaned to me (and big, green, etc). The girl doesn't have the confidence to ask but her mum, who i am friends with, keeps asking for her. I obviously don't want to upset anyone, both mum and daughter are really lovely I just worry if anything happened that I would feel (or potentially actually be) responsible.
Come on HHO, show me the way forward...

 

[twiggy2]

If your not happy doing it say no

 

[ihatework]

It’s one of those Bah Humbug dilemmas!

Heart says ‘just be nice’, head say ‘don’t go there’!

 

[PapaverFollis]

What twiggy said. It's a responsibility. If you don't want it don't take it.

I've done it on my old mare and was happy to do so.... But I was trained as a teacher and comfortable with the responsibility. And my horse was a superstar.

 

[Gloi]

If you go out with her you can make sure you control the situation and make sure you do not create any situation that your horse will find challenging. You don't want to be doing things like cantering together but if you can have a quiet hack safely you should be able to keep an eye on her especially as her pony is quiet. She's 16 not 10 so old enough to take some responsibility for herself.

 

[Keith_Beef]

You point out that it is the mother asking, and she's a friend of yours. I'd find it very easy in that situation to just say "my horse isn't reliable enough to be a chaperone".

 

[AnShanDan]

I don't think you would really be responsible for her, would you? Surely lots of 16 year olds hack out alone, so I'd see it as you'd just be keeping each other company.

You could always start with a very short, boring hack?

I hack out with a 16 year old girl who keeps her ponies near me, it's a lot of fun

That said, if you don't feel comfortable with it, for whatever reason, be ready with a valid excuse.

 

[PapaverFollis]

"I'm not happy to do it" is a valid excuse.

 

[abbijay]

She's 16 not 10 so old enough to take some responsibility for herself.

When I describe her as immature I mean compared with other kids I know she is more similar to those in early high school than towards the end of it.

 

[Gloi]

When I describe her as immature I mean compared with other kids I know she is more similar to those in early high school than towards the end of it.

Maybe she is because she's been too sheltered and needs someone to help her mature. Tell her your horse is a bit green and needs her and her sensible pony to show him how to behave.

 

[dreamcometrue]

I used to do it often up to 10 years ago but absolutely would not now. I’m a teacher and the whole ethos of supervising children or indeed people of any age has changed beyond recognition since then.

 

[NeverSurrender]

Could you offer to ride out providing a parent comes on foot? They are likely to not want to, so will be a no without being a no! And if the parent is there they can take responsibility for their own child.

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

I don't know if I'd want the responsibility of something possibly happening to her

I'd want to know her pony was rock steady so that if mine played up it wouldn't set her pony off. There was a nervous livery at my yard who didn't end up hacking but had she asked id have had to say no unless it was part of a bigger group, mine is spooky and I would worry it would make her more nervous if he was an idiot

Could you compromise and do a shorter safer route with her? Or 1 day a week ride in the school with her that way she's still getting your company but in a safer environment? Or is there a 3rd person on a really sensible horse that way if you are having trouble you could separate from them if safe to do so without causing any problems to the child?

Also I'd want to ensure everyone had suitable insurance in place

 

[Dyllymoo]

Coming from someone that is/was quite nervous, the thought of going out with someone who has a sharp green horse turns my stomach. Although J is a star I would prefer the nanny horse to be a happy hacker etc. Obviously horses are horses and on Sunday J had to lead our nanny horse after he stopped and reversed and refused to go past something.

I wouldn't do it even if she was an adult I'm afraid, if your horse wasn't as green and sharp as you say I would consider it with someone on foot by her horses head.

 

[Arzada]

She's from a horsey family but they don't have another horse on our yard

So do they have another horse or horses elsewhere?

 

[sherry90]

If they aren’t safe to handle their own horse (regardless of age) I won’t hack with them. I have some adults I won’t hack with for this very reason! If she has a sensible pony and her mother is comfortable that you are not to be assumed to be her parent/guardian whilst riding then I’d go. If I were her mother though I’d be offering to go on foot the first few time’s just to check everything felt ok before allowing her to hack independently with another. Don’t allow yourself to be used as a glorified babysitter (can you tell I’m not maternal/a parent ?)

 

[stormox]

She's 16 - surely she's old enough to be responsible for herself? Most young adults of 15 16 17 are hacking out on their own?

 

[abbijay]

Could you offer to ride out providing a parent comes on foot? They are likely to not want to, so will be a no without being a no! And if the parent is there they can take responsibility for their own child.

This is what she currently does but I think she's fed up of walking. It's the step up from this actually supervising that concerns me.

So do they have another horse or horses elsewhere?

Yes, it's on competition livery elsewhere and definitely not an ideal nanny horse.

She's 16 - surely she's old enough to be responsible for herself? Most young adults of 15 16 17 are hacking out on their own?

She's not most young adults, she's a really nice kid but very immature for her age.

 

[MidChristmasCrisis]

If the 16 year old is pleasant and will act on your advice whilst you are out then yes I would go. If she is unlikely to follow your advice then no.
This past weekend I was invited on a 9 horse hack with 5 under 16 s...I declined as there was roadwork and I wasn’t confident the younger members would listen to advice. I have heard since that my spidey sense was correct and a couple of issues arose.

 

[Gloi]

She's 16 - surely she's old enough to be responsible for herself? Most young adults of 15 16 17 are hacking out on their own?

It does worry me how coddled some kids are...and then the parents are surprised the first time they have freedom from home at uni or the like and go absolutely ott crazy.

 

[twiggy2]

So the parent has a horse elsewhere and does not want to adjust their riding lifestyle to accommodate their immature novice children rider?
The child is theirs not yours and maybe you could suggest they loan something suitable at the same yard as their daughter so they can accompany her on hacks until she is more mature, experienced and confident?

 

[mini_b]

You point out that it is the mother asking, and she's a friend of yours. I'd find it very easy in that situation to just say "my horse isn't reliable enough to be a chaperone".

^^what he said!

 

[scruffyponies]

If you can't be sure to control your horse, and she can't control hers, then it doesn't sound like an appropriate 'safe nannying' situation to me. Would you be able to get off and abandon your horse for a moment to sort her out? Lead her horse from yours?
I take out very small novice children quite often, so I'm not being over-cautions. I have also trusted my children to take out younger children on hacks. It's not about age, so much as the ability of all of the riders involved to control their horses (more about the horse than you!), and to deal with the unexpected.

I would suggest that the child's parent goes out with their daughter, either on foot, or a bicycle.

 

[Tiddlypom]

Definitely say no.

If something happens on the hack causing all the horses to have a moment, you will have your hands full controlling your young big (Shire?) lad. If part of your attention is on what is happening with the teenager, you may come a cropper yourself.

Any sensible horsey parent will understand that.

 

[sarahann1]

You point out that it is the mother asking, and she's a friend of yours. I'd find it very easy in that situation to just say "my horse isn't reliable enough to be a chaperone".

This in my case would be the honest truth, I wouldn’t take out any nervous/novice riders with my mare regardless of age, she’s too apt at doing ‘manoeuvres’ anyone riding with me needs to have the ability to deal with their own horses reaction when she suddenly slams on the brakes or leaps to the side etc.

 

[Pippity]

I don't think I'd want to go out with someone who'd only been riding for a year, no matter how good her pony is. She simply doesn't have the experience.

If your horse was a steady nanny type, I'd probably encourage you to give it a go if she's a nice kid who'll listen to what you tell her. But if most of your attention needs to be on your horse, not on her, it's just not a good situation. Just tell the mother that your horse is a big, green baby and you need to concentrate on him.

 

[bubblensqueak]

She's 16 - surely she's old enough to be responsible for herself? Most young adults of 15 16 17 are hacking out on their own?

ive been hacking on my own for years (im 16 now) and i was nervous to begin with, since i hadnt had my horse for long, but after being brave, and having my mum come on foot the first time, id say the best thing for her is to just do it, just a short hack, perhaps in a secure field with the gate closed? if thats an option. is her horse safe?

 

[Arzada]

This is what she currently does but I think she's fed up of walking. It's the step up from this actually supervising that concerns me.

Yes, it's on competition livery elsewhere and definitely not an ideal nanny horse.

She's not most young adults, she's a really nice kid but very immature for her age.

They don't keep the horses on the same yard. They don't have a nanny horse. You don't have a nanny horse. Mother is fed up with walking. Is she the only parent? I can't see why you would take on the responsibility when the family is looking to surrender responsibility.

 

[View]

Next time Mum suggests it, why not suggest that the girl does the Ride Safe award from the BHS? Also joining the local Pony Club of Riding Club would offer up opportunities for getting out and about for her.

 

[sky1000]

I don't think you should have any qualms about refusing. Your horse is not suitable, and you don't want the responsibility. The mother may be tired of walking out with her, but that is not your problem to solve.