Taken advantage of...

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HaffiesRock

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Does anyone else feel like they are used by horseless people?

I have one pony. Spend all of my hard earned cash and time on enjoying him and know how lucky I am.

Last week my mum asked if her friends daughter could come and see the ponies as it was her 5th birthday. I said yes I didn't mind and gave all the usual rules about being good and listening to what I say etc. My mum and niece are coming too (niece is almost 3) as she loves my pony and calls him her own. So that's mum and niece, mums friend and 5 year old daughter. Lovely.

My YO kindly offered me the use of her little 11hh leadrein pony and cub saddle so they could have a little ride around which I was massively grateful for. So I asked my horsey friend if she wanted to bring her little boy and give me a hand with the kids and pony. YO was happy with this and said the pony would love the attention.

Somehow this has escalated to mum and niece (age 3), mums friend and daughter (5), daughters friend (6) mums friends older daughter (18 and asked if she could have a go on my pony!) older daughters child (no idea on age) plus my friend and child which I invited!

I have just had to message back and say no. I am on a very small private yard and am new to it. YO is lovely and I am massively grateful for her lending me her pony so I wont disrespect her with this entourage of people that I dont even know! My poor mum is so apologetic. She didn't realise they'd all start inviting others and I think this is VERY rude of mums friend!

My poor pony would have a meltdown with all these excited kids around, never mind me!

So I've said mums friend and daughter only as per original plan and mum and niece, friend and son.

I cant be the only one who gets used like this?
 
This was what I hated about having liveries on my private yard. One of them would decide to invite someone along and before you knew it there wasn't just the bloody livery on the yard there were about a dozen in the entourage. One smiles sweetly and says it's fine and tries to think very hard about how to discourage it from happening again.
 
that is rude :o

i invite a friend down the yard sometimes to help me with my pony - but tbh its a yard to enjoy the horse not a family outing so rarely have more than 1 friend at the yard at a time! :o

i hope they dont do something as cheeky as that again lol!! :D
 
Hee hee, I love it when people whimsically tell me they'd love to go riding again like they did when they were a kid when they find out I have a horse.

I'm quick to recommend riding schools in the area ;) :D

I never used to care when I was younger, but now havign had injuries etc, I don't need the hassle of taking someone on a leadrein on my horse. My bf is welcome to ride my horse, but then she is a better rider than me!
 
Nope, you certainly aren't :(

Let me tell you a little tale...

A few years ago I invited a work friend to bring her son to see my horses, this work friend and I were proper frineds too, we used to go for dinner, to the pub and talk & text all the time. She brought her son along as arranged, he had a sit on the horse, mum & I then drank tea and gossiped and a lovely time was had by all.

A few days later we were talking about it (friend was saying how much son had enjoyed it and thanking me, again, bless her :)) when we were overheard by another lady. She then demaned that her son 'Enreh should be allowed to come see the horses too. I was a bit taken aback as the way she phrased it made me feel I should open up an invitation to the whole office, not just my friends.

I agreed the she and 'Enreh could come visit, stupidly I thought it might be nice to see this lady out of work time and maybe we would become friends after (always after new chums me :D)

So the day dawns, and work lady and 'Enreh turn up, with a mate of work lady & her son in tow 'its alright that Britneeh n Kev are ere too innit' she says, bit late as they are already there and yes she did have my mobile number so could have checked before..

So after saying the only thing I could, being a polite kind of a girl 'no, of course thats fine, Hi Britney & Kevin' we go to stables and both boys have a little sit on the horse....while their mums discuss nipple cream & their philandering husbands. Second child (work ladys mates little dear) then proceed to WEE all over my horses back :eek::eek::eek:...while his mum & work lady dicuss nipple cream their philandering husbands.... I did get a very un-heart felt 'sorreh, Kev y didn't u say u needed a pee? your trowseers are all wet' then straight back to discussing nipple cream & philandering husbands.....

Once my poor trumastised ponys back was clean, with mums tutting coz they were getting bored having their gossip, about nipple cream & husbands that philander outside, I usher them into my flat that I had spent hours cleaning, to wait on them, feeding them cups of tea & the lovely biscuits I had got in thinking that work lady and I might gossip and bond eating them, and special the juice I had got for 'Enreh while they, yes, you guessed it, discussed nipple cream & philandering husbands.

I felt like a cross between a farm park and scullery maid.

I think, if I remember I *might* have got a 'thanks' as they strapped 'Enreh & Kev into their cars seats and drove off discussing nipple cream..........
 
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Stencilface said:
Hee hee, I love it when people whimsically tell me they'd love to go riding again like they did when they were a kid when they find out I have a horse.

I'm quick to recommend riding schools in the area ;) :D

!
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oh this totally ^^^^


i was discussing my horse with someone once (she was ill and wasnt being ridden)..... and suddenly this lady went " oh i havent ridden in ages can i have a go"........... er no.


explained why not about my horse being ill etc


i cant believe sometimes how cheeky some people are!.........
 
ElleSkywalker said:
Nope, you certainly aren't :(

Let me tell you a little tale...

A few years ago I invited a work friend to bring her son to see my horses, this work friend and I were proper frineds too, we used to go for dinner, to the pub and talk & text all the time. She brought her son along as arranged, he had a sit on the horse, mum & I then drank tea and gossiped and a lovely time was had by all.

A few days later we were talking about it (friend was saying how much son had enjoyed it and thanking me, again, bless her :)) when we were overheard by another lady. She then demaned that her son 'Enreh should be allowed to come see the horses too. I was a bit taken aback as the way she phrased it made me feel I should open up an invitation to the whole office, not just my friends.

I agreed the she and 'Enreh could come visit, stupidly I thought it might be nice to see this lady out of work time and maybe we would become friends after (always after new chums me :D)

So the day dawns, and work lady and 'Enreh turn up, with a mate of work lady & her son in tow 'its alright that Britneeh n Kev are ere too innit' she says, bit late as they are already there and yes she did have my mobile number so could have checked before..

So after saying the only thing I could, being a polite kind of a girl 'no, of course thats fine, Hi Britney & Kevin' we go to stables and both boys have a little sit on the horse....while their mums discuss nipple cream & their philandering husbands. Second child (work ladys mates little dear) then proceed to WEE all over my horses back :eek::eek::eek:...while his mum & work lady dicuss nipple cream their philandering husbands.... I did get a very un-heart felt 'sorreh, Kev y didn't u say u needed a pee?' then straight back to discussing nipple cream & philandering husbands.....

Once my poor trumastised ponys back was clean (with mums tutting coz they were getting bored having their gossip, about nipple cream & husbands that philander, outside, I usher them into my flat that I had spent hours cleaning, to feed them cups of tea & the lovley biscuits I had got for them and special juice I had got for 'Enreh while they, yes, you guessed it, discussed nipple cream & philandering husbands.

I felt like a cross between a farm park and scullery maid.

I hink if I remember I might have got a 'thanks' as they strapped 'Enreh & Kev into their cars seats and drove off discussing nipple cream..........
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That is AMAZING! Really cheered up my rubbish day! Thank you. Mums friend is a little like that. Birthday girls name is Elleh... and she has 9 other brothers and sister ranging from 3 to 25!!! What have I done?!!
 
My pony is a swine to get on. Hes fine for me, but no one else. Maybe I should say to the 18 year old, if you can get on it, you can ride it :D
 
Here is my tale of woe...

A friend asked if her friend's kid (about 14 years old I think) could come and sit on one of the horses whilst we were at the field. I said OK, and gave them a time when me and OH would have just finished riding so the only horse suitable to 'sit on' would still be tacked up..

Soooo kid and mother came along. Kid could ride and had a 'sit' (more like a walk and trot round and got stroppy when she couldn't get him to canter, and I told her to quit it....)

Mother then (this is the best bit) said something along the lines of this...

'OK, she can come and ride on Mondays and wednesdays after school, and both Saturday and Sundays, and oh, here's a list of shows we want to go to. I know you go to these with your other one, so you can bring him too...'..

At this point, my jaw dropped (good job OH had gone to fill water troughs....he would have gone nuclear...)

So in my best voice, I explained that the horse wasn't looking for a rider, he had one, my husband, and I wouldn't be taking him anywhere for anyone to use at a show because as this horse actually belonged to my husband, he won't be giving permission for that, thankyou very much....

After she had left in a strop, it got around the village that we were evil, destroying her precious kid's dream of riding....

The nerve of some people....

:D
 
Ah this all sounds vageuly familiar...

I used to work at a small riding school, tacking up, sweeping the yard, leading noisy children around on the ponies, teaching stable management to the young ones, and in return at the end of the day I would get an hour's free schooling on my mare, who would spend the day patiently eating hay and letting children plait and groom her.

A friend of mine had been coming for lessons for some time, and before long a friend of hers starting towing along. It wasn't long before the friend's friend took an interest in my mare and asked if she could ride her during her group lesson. As there was a shortage of bigger horses, I agreed with YO that this was allowed, on the basis that if we went for a hack, I'd have my mare back and the girl would ride a RS horse. It didn't take much time at all for the girl to demand that she ride my mare on hacks as well, so I would end up on the YO's gelding (didn't think that was very productive for my mare or me, seeing as the whole point of my lessons was to reschool her, not learn to ride a RS horse). I had a word with YO because this girl was treating my horse as if it was hers, even referring to her as her own (usually whilst standing around watching me tack her up). YO put her foot down and explained the situation, what with the mare being mine etc, and everything seemed sorted. Next thing I know, my mother tells me the girl's stepfather has been on the phone wanting to know how much we want for the horse because she 'has to have her'!

I despair. I don't know where these people come from. I was good enough to let this girl ride my horse and in return she tried to swipe her from right under my nose!
 
DragonSlayer said:
Here is my tale of woe...

A friend asked if her friend's kid (about 14 years old I think) could come and sit on one of the horses whilst we were at the field. I said OK, and gave them a time when me and OH would have just finished riding so the only horse suitable to 'sit on' would still be tacked up..

Soooo kid and mother came along. Kid could ride and had a 'sit' (more like a walk and trot round and got stroppy when she couldn't get him to canter, and I told her to quit it....)

Mother then (this is the best bit) said something along the lines of this...

'OK, she can come and ride on Mondays and wednesdays after school, and both Saturday and Sundays, and oh, here's a list of shows we want to go to. I know you go to these with your other one, so you can bring him too...'..

At this point, my jaw dropped (good job OH had gone to fill water troughs....he would have gone nuclear...)

So in my best voice, I explained that the horse wasn't looking for a rider, he had one, my husband, and I wouldn't be taking him anywhere for anyone to use at a show because as this horse actually belonged to my husband, he won't be giving permission for that, thankyou very much....

After she had left in a strop, it got around the village that we were evil, destroying her precious kid's dream of riding....

The nerve of some people....

:D
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^^^^^ :eek::eek::eek::eek:

Unbelievable!

Not the same obviously, but you wouldn't believe the number of "friends" and their acquaintances that want the use of my van (horsebox!) for moving house/going to the tip with rubbish/white goods and settee collections etc..... my rule is that's fine - you can pay me a day's horsebox hire fee (£100+) plus diesel, oh and you clean it top to bottom afterwards (and I do mean bottom :p)!!

No takers so far..... :cool:
 
SarahThomas said:
Ah this all sounds vageuly familiar...

I used to work at a small riding school, tacking up, sweeping the yard, leading noisy children around on the ponies, teaching stable management to the young ones, and in return at the end of the day I would get an hour's free schooling on my mare, who would spend the day patiently eating hay and letting children plait and groom her.

A friend of mine had been coming for lessons for some time, and before long a friend of hers starting towing along. It wasn't long before the friend's friend took an interest in my mare and asked if she could ride her during her group lesson. As there was a shortage of bigger horses, I agreed with YO that this was allowed, on the basis that if we went for a hack, I'd have my mare back and the girl would ride a RS horse. It didn't take much time at all for the girl to demand that she ride my mare on hacks as well, so I would end up on the YO's gelding (didn't think that was very productive for my mare or me, seeing as the whole point of my lessons was to reschool her, not learn to ride a RS horse). I had a word with YO because this girl was treating my horse as if it was hers, even referring to her as her own (usually whilst standing around watching me tack her up). YO put her foot down and explained the situation, what with the mare being mine etc, and everything seemed sorted. Next thing I know, my mother tells me the girl's stepfather has been on the phone wanting to know how much we want for the horse because she 'has to have her'!

I despair. I don't know where these people come from. I was good enough to let this girl ride my horse and in return she tried to swipe her from right under my nose!
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Some people seem to think you are mean if you say 'no', and I've said 'no' many times since!

No, we are't being mean, but our animals are precious, we don't want them hurt, used and abused and they cost us a lot of money. Will you lend me your nice big flash car? No, didn't think so....

:p
 
No-one asks me anymore...

I tell them one is OH's and he wont give permission.
The other is daughters and she won't given permission either....

The one I could give permission for belongs to me and bucks and rears so you can't ride him, my insurance won't allow it....

I did once get asked years ago in the corner shop...by a total stranger...if her daughter could come down and sit on one of my horses. I replied yes, but only if I could come round and watch one of her TV's.....:cool:
 
DragonSlayer said:
Some people seem to think you are mean if you say 'no', and I've said 'no' many times since!

No, we are't being mean, but our animals are precious, we don't want them hurt, used and abused and they cost us a lot of money. Will you lend me your nice big flash car? No, didn't think so....

:p
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I'd like to add that said girl never rode again after that! I categorically said the horse was not for sale (my mother relayed the message to girl's stepfather) and thought that was the end of it. The girl didn't go to my school but my friend who had brought her along turned against me for upsetting her and told everyone in our year that I couldn't ride and the reason I wouldn't sell the horse to her friend was because I couldn't control my horse and I was ashamed that she was a better rider than me. Okaaaaaay...
 
I love people coming down with my lot. But is to help me out (horsey) or to pet and cuddle (non) and on own land. It's not a free for all and not all the time as I enjoy my own time with them. None normally cheeky either.

I have had one friend say that I could teach her to ride... changed her mind after mine did some acrobatics around the field and I grinned and said that it would be really nice if she wanted to have first sit when she was ready :p:D
 
redmone said:
^^^^^ :eek::eek::eek::eek:

Not the same obviously, but you wouldn't believe the number of "friends" and their acquaintances that want the use of my van (horsebox!) for moving house/going to the tip with rubbish/white goods and settee collections etc..... my rule is that's fine - you can pay me a day's horsebox hire fee (£100+) plus diesel, oh and you clean it top to bottom afterwards (and I do mean bottom :p)!!

No takers so far..... :cool:
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I'm guilty of this with family van and box (nothing else would fit internal stables in...!) But we do runs in pick-ups when needed and help out in other ways. Not a free for all on a friends/someone we know of distantly!

What used to annoy me was running a friend down for a horsey job. At an hour I should've been rolling in at, not getting up at. And no petrol money. Eventually I made my excuses!
 
I get inundated with visitors when our foals are born every spring. I like it as it gets the foals used to seeing lots of different people, young and old, however I own my farm and I give the permission. In your case I think you've done the right thing in retracting permission.
 
There are some young girls down the yard who are itching to ride my horse. They go around hassling everyone to get a ride (they have their own poor ponies to thrash!!) and I think they have ridden all of the DIY livery horses!

My answer is always a big fat NO :p
 
My step sister has invited her boss to ride one of my horses without even telling me and then she just brought it up the other day and said i know you wont mind... err yes i do! one Taz isnt suitable for novices as he is a pain as it is also he has been out of work for over a year. I said this to her and she said oh she can wait... does she not understand that it ISNT going to happen?!
 
Yup! My friends mum made a "friend" in one of the local villiage shops whose daughter was having local riding lessons. Friend has a semi retired little lady who is an absolute saint with children. However when they started turning up every weekend like it was riding lessons out of the blue at our livery yard...something had to be done.
The last time we ever saw them was when the dad came down our barn one Saturday and the ladies were out in the field.
It kinda went like this....
Girls dad: "oh hi guys, hope you don't mind us popping down, the gates were open and we were just in the area".
Friend: "hi. no its not a problem but pony has only just gone out in the field for the day". (It was a beautiful sunny saturday)
G.D: "okay don't worry! "Daughter" has already gone down to the field!!".
We both just went :eek::eek::eek:.
The kid was 9 years old and off to go bring the poor old lady in from the field!! She'd never been allowed to do that before and with my old ginger lady in the same field I wouldn't recommend it either!! :mad:
 
I advertised my 5 year old 14.2 mare for share the other day and have since had 3 different replys saying 'do you do kiddies rides?' I didnt realise i had put 'welcomes all novices, any age or ability, i have time to teach you and your brood how to ride'
Oh wait, no i didnt, i put 'for share to experienced loaners or horse owners only'
 
Why do the cheekiest ones always take the most offence too! They go off with their nose in the air, all affronted, telling everyone how awful you are!

We loaned our 12h pony out. It stayed on our yard, and they paid £15/wk which included their hay, straw, feed and us turning it out in the mornings for them (we have jobs and can't possibly do mornings... - yep, so do we!) They were nice but dim types, we were fine at first. One day they came with a friend asking if the friend could have a ride. The friend was older and bigger, so I let her have a go on my stepson's bigger pony. I took them both on the ponies in the field and gave them a lesson for half an hour to make sure the child was ok, then said that she could ride our pony the following weekend when the loaners hacked the 12h pony out if she liked as my stepson was away. I'm an AI, by the way, so they got a free lesson. The following week they all turned up, and I asked where they were going to go (mother usually walked out with her daughter). "Oh!" they exclaimed, "aren't you giving them another lesson or taking them out when you ride your horse? We had booked to go for lunch..." They were most put out when I said no. They continued taking the p, dropping the daughter off at our yard for the day, leaving us to feed her etc (she was 10), and expecting lifts to pony club, without a thank you, even though we were already taking a friend in the trailer and had to make two trips! One day I was talking to someone else about how I wanted to swop the trailer for a 3 horse lorry so myself, husband and stepson could go off together, and the mother said, "what about my daughter - where is her pony going to go??" As if we were going to pay more for a bigger lorry to run her around. Finally we got totally fed up and gave them notice, and got a big lecture about how we had let her daughter down!! She had never spoken to us since! Quite a relief really!!
 
My sister has done it to me too. Asked me if she could bring niece (which I love) and that she will meet me there. She turned up in 2 cars, with her friend and her daughter in 1 and her next door neighbor and 3 kids in the other! SO 3 adults and 5 kids! 3 of them under 3.

I had to send them away in the end as the kids were all running around and shouting and not listening to anything that was said. I take niece up myself now!
 
Its happened to all of us! years ago my sister put a lot of pressure on me as her new actor boyfriend was desperate to ride. He rode stunt horse so was sure he was all right. I had endless rows and then stupidly caved in. Did I mention that my horse was just under 16.2 and a chunky TB? anyway, we had a long discussion about my horse, I gave strict instructions on how to ride my horse as he was quite sensitive. BF obviously wasn't listening so I gave into the devil. He lasted about 2 minutes. I specifically said do NOT kick him or he will go and the new BF did. He was deposited on a fence but luckily only hurt his pride. His excuse was that mine was more feisty than he was used to. I had TOLD him that and actually mine wasn't tricky, he just didn't need being booted. I have fallen out with friends since then who just don't' get why I won't let them have a weekend ride on my horses but as I am a lot older and wiser than I was with my sister, I have no desire to upset my horses or cause bodily damage to the errant would be rider (well the last part isn't true, lets just say I am a little more grown up!)
 
HaffiesRock said:
Last week my mum asked if her friends daughter could come and see the ponies as it was her 5th birthday.

Somehow this has escalated to mum and niece (age 3), mums friend and daughter (5), daughters friend (6) mums friends older daughter (18 and asked if she could have a go on my pony!) older daughters child (no idea on age) plus my friend and child which I invited!
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Perhaps more people were invited along because riding at your place was considered part of the girl's 5th birthday celebrations.
 
Whilst I don't think that anyone should ever be taken advantage of and that some of these stories people have acted shamelessly, I do think that sometimes horsey people forget how lucky we all are to get the chance to be around horses.

I was away from horses/riding for about 10 years for several reasons and missed horses terribly. Several people I knew either owned horses or had them on loan and I would sometimes ask to come and see them, not to ride them, just to stroke them even. And the replies were often quite stand offish. I appreciate that people work very hard for to be able to have their own horses and am not saying anyone has to do anything they are not comfortable with, but just to bear in mind that for the majority of people being up close with a horse is a rare and exciting occasion and can make a childs (and an adults!) day :)
 
I once got a message from a long lost cousin asking if she could bring her daughter to "brush" my horses as she just keeps going on about wanting to brush a pony. At the time I ran a pub so worked pretty full on so I messaged her back with a date and time frame, never heard from her again.
Like she really wanted to "brush" a pony, she wanted to ride a pony and expected me to make myself and my pony available at a time convenient to her to do it.
To be fair the Tank can be a bit of a nutter when he feels like it, he's not really suitable for brushing or riding by a child. I let my sisters daughter ride him while I lead but it's once in a blue moon and she does actually take lessons elsewhere.
 
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