The annoying child - How to deal with this ? Calling all parents

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niagaraduval

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My horses are kept in a field about 2 miles from my house in the summer. I check on them twice a day and have neighbors and farmer check on them too every day.

A few weeks ago I went to fill up the water bins as usual and this girl (around 12 ?) came out of her house and started talking to me, asking what my horses names were, their age etc.

Now I am really really bad with children, I just don't like them (not to offend anyone it's just the way it is).

So I sweetly told her their names, how old they were and answered her many questions. I finally got rid of her by saying I am about to go (which she questioned too).

However, each time I go up she suddenly appears from her house (I think it's actually her grandparents house) as I usually turn up in the morning and evening so she isn't at school.

She keeps bugging me and getting in my way, She keeps wanting to go in the field and asks me non stop if she can.
The first time I saw her I said she could if she stood next to me and she went and started stroking my oldie (didn't have a problem with that he is sweet as sugar) but from the start she has given herself rights. She likes the sound of her own voice and constantly talking at me and asking me every question she can think of.

It's not that I mind, but my horses are my getaway after a long day and her constant yapping just annoys me and stresses me out even more.

Now I fill up these big white water containers and carry them to the field (the tap is about 10 m from the field) and as I finished filling them up she just went and started carrying (struggling!) it over to my field. I took the container off her and told her I would do it (my field, my horses, my responsibility !).

However, I have tried ignoring her (I hate it), tried showing her I have no interest in her, tried telling her I don't want her in my field when I come, I don't need any help with my 'ponies' ( 16,2hh & 17hh) and have told her that horses are dangerous. But she has an answer to everything. It's got to the point where I dread going to see my horses every morning and night as I know she will be there waiting to pounce! Even my OH got so fed up he left me at the field and drove home saying he would get me when I was done !!

She came up yesterday as I arrived with her little brother, now the fence is barbed wire, and I have another electric fence round the whole lot so horses can't touch the barbed wire fence, but this little boy (around 6 ?) was climbing in and out of the wire and got his foot stuck and almost fell on the barbed wire. I got so angry that I ended up shouting at them just to get them away from me and my horses as I'm sure I would have their lovely parents on my back if they got hurt.

How can I deal with this situation? I am quite a patient person, but at the end of the day, too much is too much and I'm certain that me telling their parents will change nothing.

Thank you for any advice.
 
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Can you go and see the Parents/Grandparents? I would also tell her that she is not 'insured' to be around your horses and if anything happened you would be held liable so, sorry, but please stay away from your horses and yard, for her own safety.
 
It's a difficult one. I would speak to the grandparents and explain that you don't want her to be responsible in case she got hurt. Or you could go to the other extreme and ask them if she could help you and make her do lots of poo picking, fence repairing etc until she starts avoiding you...
 
I was once this child - only difference being, the people I pestered were happy to let me pat their ponies and grateful that I would spend all day grooming, mucking out and generally helping them out just to be near a horse - any horse!
 
Oh bless her, she's just being an interested and curious 12 year old. She sounds like a sweetheart. Don't be such an old grouch!

However I absolutely would go and speak to the parents and tell them that the 6 year old is not to come over without parental supervision - due to the obvious dangers.
 
I would definitely speak to the grandparent/parents. You could go for the harsh option of telling them to keep her away entirely. Alternatively, you could perhaps compromise and ask she only comes to see the horses one set day a week, for example.
 
I probably am being a grouch but even my OH who loves and really wants kids couldn't stand it any longer so I think that's saying something.

Going through my grooming bag and letting herself in my field whilst my back is turned is annoying though and horses are my getaway so having someone constantly annoying me is far from enjoyable and if that is the definition of being a grouch than that doesn't bother me as I am the one who works hard to look after and pay for the privilege.

Regarding getting her to do jobs, this might be a good way but also letting her work with my horses might be misleading and let her think that she can go and do as she pleases when I am not there.
 
Speak to her guardians, (tell them no way is the 6 year old safe around horses) and if they agree, give her jobs to do. Poo picking is usually a fairly off putting one and if she isn't put off by that, she is keen enough to develop a genuine love for horses. Fetching and carrying, real menial stuff, the kind of thing no-one ever realises has to be done when you have responsibility for equines.
And if she argues about anything (permissions, time to go, stuff you aren't happy for her to do etc) my favourite phrase is "I'm not arguing, I'm TELLING you" (can you tell I was Primary teacher back in the day??) Boundaries are really important for her safety so get them in place.
 
Just tell the grandparents she isn't welcome. They may think that because you haven't said anything you are ok with it...
 
Tell her that they bite and kick - sometimes and stick electric fencing up... And tell them that if they come again they r trespassing and you'll call the police... If that doesn't work
And you've talked to the parents and they are no help send a written letter to the parents asking them not to let their children enter the field...

Or alternatively use her to help...
 
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niagaraduval said:
Going through my grooming bag and letting herself in my field whilst my back is turned is annoying though and horses are my getaway so having someone constantly annoying me is far from enjoyable and if that is the definition of being a grouch than that doesn't bother me as I am the one who works hard to look after and pay for the privilege.

Regarding getting her to do jobs, this might be a good way but also letting her work with my horses might be misleading and let her think that she can go and do as she pleases when I am not there.
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But you just set boundaries.

You tell her that she is not to go into the field without you by her side. And she is not to 'rummage' through your stuff without permission.

But obviously, if you really can't bear to give an interested child any of your time - then the simple answer is to go to the parents and tell them she's not welcome.
 
Hmmm...

Having been a child who was desperate for any contact with horses I can see where the child is coming from.

However being a grouchy adult who works with kids whose horses are my chance to 'get away' I can also see the OP's side. It is INCREDIBLY rare that I will allow children on the yard. The exceptions are my nephews when they visit and G-I-T if we are going to a competition.

At the end of the day OP, they are your horses and if you don't want the child around them then it is your decision. You need to talk politely (but firmly!) to the parents/grandparents/guardians/whoever and let them know. I think the suggestion to move yards is completely over the top, with boundaries set this isn't an issue, it is just getting the boundaries in place.
 
I have my own children and do love children but I think even I would find this annoying.
Speak to the grandparents and explain that your horses are not particularly safe around children and you are concerned for her safety. Explain that you are not insured if anything was to happen to her.
I would take the phone number of a local riding school and prompt them to arrange a lesson in the proper environment where there are correct safety measures put in place.
Good luck, rather you than me :)
 
I'd be the same, I can't stand spending time with kids, even if I know they aren't trying to be annoying. I'm grumpy too like that, horses are for quiet time. If it was me I'd go to the guardians and say I know the little girl is curious but that horses are dangerous and I don't have time and am not qualified to teach her to do everything safely, especially as your horses are so big. I'd give them the details of a local riding school and say that if she really wants to learn to do everything properly maybe she could go there. That way you've given the parents another option. It may be that they've seen you talking to the child and think you are happy to let her play.
 
Is it only me that finds this post rather sad? I was once that 12 year old, as was my daughter, and we both found lovely people who were very patient and kind to us.

Why not tell her that you don't want her there every day but she is welcome on specific days when she can 'help'? A little bit of patience and kindness might change that childs world.
 
Ladyinred said:
Is it only me that finds this post rather sad? I was once that 12 year old, as was my daughter, and we both found lovely people who were very patient and kind to us.

Why not tell her that you don't want her there every day but she is welcome on specific days when she can 'help'? A little bit of patience and kindness might change that childs world.
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But surely that is the parents responsibility rather than the OP?
 
Fides said:
Just tell the grandparents she isn't welcome. They may think that because you haven't said anything you are ok with it...
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I agree . The grandparents may be actively encouraging her to hang round you , she may be driving them mad too .

Giving her jobs to do , even tedious ones , wpuld probably just be seen as an invitation to carry on as she is ; or she may assume 'rights' as she is doing 'work' . I think being straight with the kids, parents , grandparents about what you want ie for them to go away and stay away would be the best plan . If she is dying to be around horses there must be other ways to achieve that , albeit with some effort on the part of her own family , without making your life a misery . Good luck !
 
She sounds like a lovely talkative horse mad curious child .
And a lucky child to be able to have the chance to form a friendship ( one sided admittedly ) with a non family member once all kids could do this I cold and did now it's harder.
However it needs some boundaries and the younger one needs dealing with I would not baby sit a child as young as the brother .
Go and talk to the grand parents at once .
Explain you need some me time with the horses and try to it nicely it would be nice if you did not cut off contact completely that would hurt her however I would be strict with the grandparents and say that one of them must be with the boy .
If your horses are in a public place and people will come to talk to them you can't get round that .
Poor kid .
 
Oh dear, I really feel for you AND this young girl in equal measure.

I know exactly what you mean about your chill out time with your horses. I also have little patience with other people's children, I don't consider myself a grump, I just don't want other people's children in my face.

I also sympathise with a young pony mad girl. It matters not a jot to her that yours are horses, anything vaguely equine will do to a girl like that.

When I was young, the local riding school was the natural outlet for that passion. Kids who's parents couldn't afford lessons would work and learn for hours and hours just to be able to groom, lead or (oh pure heaven) actually ride a horse.
Those days are long gone. Partly due to massive health and safety rules with litigation hanging over everyone's head, and partly due to kids no longer willing to work for the vague chance of a ride.

This girl sounds perfectly willing to do anything to just be near a horse, and that's a shame, but its not your problem. What is your problem is the risk of an accident. It wouldn't be treated like it was when I was a pony mad girl. That's not nice for her, but its a fact of this ridiculous 'modern' world.

If this was my situation, I would write a brief letter to the parents/grandparents (keeping a copy) explaining that you recognise the child's love of horses and desire to be involed with them, but sadly, due to the dangerous environment of horses and their equipment, and the fact that your insurance would not cover her being in contact with them, you have to refuse her very enthusiastic offers to help.
Should she take it upon herself to continue to enter the horses environment, you will not be responsible for any accident that is likely to happen when an inexperienced child makes contact with large unpredictable animals.
Suggest they contact a local riding school to see if they might accept her help around the yard.
Unlikely they will do that of course, that would involve some effort on their part, much easier to let her out the back door to satisfy her passion at your expense.

It's a very difficult one, as I say, I really feel for both of you.
 
Aw - she's horse mad!

I'm good with kids but know how you feel about the ones that bug you. Really think you need to talk to her guardians - she may only be there on holiday so may be gone soon.

As others have said, explain that you don't want her hanging around when you are there as this is your special private time.
 
Another who feels for you, I`m not a child fan either (even though I one of my own, I think that`s what put me off lol :D ) and would be speaking with the grandparents/guardians etc and pointing them in the direction of a riding stables. Good luck, I have a feeling you may need it.
 
Aww bless her. This thread has made me so sad. Equally though, I understand that the horses are your 'chill time'.
Could you not speak to the grandparents and explain they are your relaxation every day so you'd appreciate it if you could spend it alone, however you're happy for granddaughter to come up on *insert day* and do grooming etc with you?
Poor kid, I was once her!
 
Gosh OP I think some people are being a bit harsh here. I can totally understand how this child and her behaviour around you / your horses are stressing you and I don't blame you for that! Would definitely suggest you go and visit the (grand) parents and explain that you are sorry but you cannot allow the child to spend time around the horses. (I agree, explain about insurance). With the school holidays not far off I'd be worried about her deciding to visit them when you are not there and possibly even trying to sit on one. You need to explain that that is not acceptable and the child's safety is at stake.

It's a shame if she is really keen on horses but your rights are as important as hers and there are other ways for her to fulfil her dreams.

Hope you can get this sorted. Otherwise, honestly I'd look for somewhere else to keep the horses.
 
She may be pony mad but she has never been near a horse, If she knew basic rules of safety it wouldn't be half as bad I don't think.

I see where you are coming from as I too was pony mad but I went and worked at the local stables for free rides where I learnt a lot.

Also, I'm not willing to baby sit, as sad as it is if I wanted kids I would have my own, but I don't and I want to make the most of my horses, Also, Not wanting sympathy but especially as my old boy is 25 and I'm not sure how much longer he will be around and I'm also considering taking the hardest decision ever of having my other horse PTS for health reasons, which I know this kid isn't responsible for but I do feel as if I am babysitting and not making the most out of my two horses whilst I still have both of them.
 
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I am another who can see both sides. I don't like children either, and on my last yard, a lady had 3 of them. She had her own horses, but these kids used to follow me everywhere! I too love my pony peace time and dont like babysitting other people's children either.

I went along the lines of insurance too and told the lady in question that my pony was unpredictable and kicked (he didn't, but I didn't know what else too do!)

I feel your pain. Could you talk to the parent/grandparents and suggest a local riding school where the girl can safely be taught about horses, with full insurance? Good luck with it.
 
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