The daftest thing you have done when you should know better....

[faerie666]

Not through choice, I once took out on the roads two fit 17hh hunters (ride and lead), both of which had been on boxrest for two weeks, due to injuries. I got 1/2mile down the road when I had to pull over onto the grass verge to let a car past.
The one I was leading took this as his cue to start cantering around me in a circle, and before I knew it the one I was riding locked his jaw and I was homeward bound at great speed, still leading the other one.
I was halfway home before it occurred to me to let go of the leadrope and concentrate on stopping the one I was riding, so I chucked it over his neck and hoped he would go home (luckily he did).
Unfortunately for me, the one I was riding was normally hunted in a cosoquero pelham with shanks as long as my arm, so I had no chance of stopping in the snaffle exercise bridle I was using.
Then I remembered the 10ft wide, 6ft deep, overgrown drainage ditch that crossed the verge! I did try to pull onto the road to go round it, but my steering was working about as well as my brakes! Luckily he saw the ditch and jumped it. Phew!
After nearly getting run over by a tractor coming out of the yard and doing a handbrake turn on tarmac turning into the yard, he eventually stopped outside his stable, I slid off, sat on the floor and burst into tears.
I could have shot the pair of them!

Now for the best bit, the next day my boss tried to get me to take the same arrangement out on the road again. This time I did the sensible thing, told her to do it herself.
I left there not long after. (no, I didn't get sacked, if that's what you're wondering)

 

[lexiedhb]

Got on said hoss- got half way round the block before realising I was not wearing a hat....

 

[much-jittering]

I've done that Lexie, only once.

My other one that sticks in my mind was when I worked on a v busy riding school/EC. I was used to riding decent sized horses, 16.2 and above, and I took out a 13.2 as a hack escort. Coming back with the hack of 6 riders, at lesson changeover time with another six riders and 12 sets of parents/connections on the yard, I quickly dismounted my 17h beast. Except it wasn't 17h, and was 13.2 and I ended up flat on my ar$e on the concrete at the feet of one of the dads - to much hillarity

I'm also guilty of the exasperated headcollar throw - though my most stupid one of these was when having led a horse in, at the gate she had an absolute fit about leaving her friends (this wasn't that unusual) and turned herself inside out. Held on for as long as I could till mid 90mph 2 metre circle she finally shouldered me out the way, waved her heels past my head and sodded off back to her mates. Shaking with anger and tears, I trekked the full length of the 25 acre field to the furthest corner where she was standing happily with her buddies. Quietly removed the head collar and what was left of the dangling lead rope, then threw it at her *blush* I swear she just laughed at me.

Another which I'm sure onlookers would have much enjoyed was only this week, a notoriously very difficult to catch mare who is pretty much only a companion pony, who will do all the things that make a textbook expert go 'oh she's giving in now' and then stick 2 fingers up at you and sod off. She had been let go of by another member of staff earlier in the day when turning her out after some medial attention, as she was spooked by something. Cue the scene of somebody (i.e. me) in the pouring rain failing to catch a horse that was already wearing a headcollar and lead rope. In the end me and YM had to move fencing and corner her to get it off

Eta - forgot to say everybody's are hillarious, especially the pony and the goat!

 

[dafthoss]

Ohh I have another one. When the boy was a bit funny about having his girth done up I would walk round a few times before doing it up and working him. I was quite happily doing some walk halt transitions when I lent down to see if he was standing square forgot about the loose girth and the pony having an xwide saddle at the time and slid off just as another livery came over to say bye. Cue us both laughing our heads off at my skillful dismount as I landed on my feet and the pony was left with a saddle on his side looking rather confused. Not bad for a pony that had just turned 6 and had been out of work for a considerable time. Thankfully I can now tighten my girth almost all the way before getting on and his saddle is now considerably narrower.

 

[noodle_]

sit on the floor outside the stable clipping/trimming my horses legs....

shes a known kicker with clippers so i have no idea what the he11 possesed me to do that.....

someone also commented "BHS stage 1......... fail and dangerously " lol....

 

[SuperCoblet]

This thread is fab
Getting the pony in from the field, with just a leadrope... That came off but still had a gallop up to the top

Casually hanging upside down

Side saddle... With out the saddle.
Promptly cantering off with me
*

 

[Chestnuttymare]

some of these are really funny, what a good read.
I have quite a few but one was me going into stable to muck out, the wind closed the door behind me. I hadn't put the kick bar over properly and as the door shut, it fell into the closed position locking me in the stable. Couldn't get out as it had grid over the door which was bolted on.
Not a soul around and phone signal was a bit pants. Friends house is about 500 yards away and only her husband in but sleeping after night shift. Had to call him and wake him up but signal kept breaking up. Eventually got through to him that i was locked in and just more than a bit claustrophobic. He made himself a cup of tea before coming up to rescue me. He thought he was really funny.
Not my best moment!
I now make sure that if a stable has a kick plate that it is properly back that it can't fall over the wrong way. common sense really.

 

[VioletStripe]

Side saddle... With out the saddle.
Promptly cantering off with me
*

I've been known to do that too I find it oddly comfy? xx

 

[Jackson]

Haha! Loved the pony and the goat one!

Chestnutty mare, I did that too, except with no phone or means of commounication. Luckily the stables were fitted in a barn with a high roof, leaving a gap above the bars which when sat on the luckily 16hh horse, I could pull myself over. Unfortunately the drop down on the other side was not as fun for my knees!


I have a bad habit of leaving stable doors open behind me, and usually the horses stay put, if they have hay or whatever, but for some reason, my beast decided to make a run for it the one day. He got about 10 meters away from the stables, realised that he was all exposed and alone in a car park with no person to keep him safe and bolted back to me! He hasn't done it since, and I still haven't learned to close doors..

The stupidest thing my parents ever did to me was getting me a completely untouched shetland four year old, when I was of the same age, shoving a bit in its mouth and chucking me up there bareback.. It was reasonably well behaved for a week or so, probably from shock, but then I ended up getting repeatedly bucked off.. it made a good lawnmower for a while though!

Also forgot my hat on multiple occasions, forgot to put my saddle on once (lol) wondered why my dinosaur headed beast's bridle wasn't fitting, only to find that I was trying to put some other little pony's bridle on him five minutes later, put my saddle on backwards (I was talking to someone, the horse turned around while I wasn't looking, and it ended up backwards)

I also do a lot of bareback and never dismount like a normal person which I guess is a bit silly. I slide down his bum, or sit sidesaddle and jump off. My horse was whip shy, so I used to jump on him bareback in case of a need for an emergency dismount, and when he was feeling cool with me riding with it normally, spice things up by using it as a lance and charging at my mum or whoever was on the ground or at a cone. That was probably a silly way of going about getting him used to that, but now I can wave my stick about anywhere and he is cool with it, so it worked!

 

[ATrueClassAct]

Galloping round our farm ride with just a headcollar on. Took 7mintues to get round it all, it's about 5miles all the way around I think. Horse is a Arab x so...goes quick haha

 

[Bettyboo222]

The first time I met F I was asked to bring him in. I had only seen photo's of him and knew he was a chestnut with 2 white socks and a blaze.

Brought the wrong horse in 4 times

 

[MrVelvet]

Thats hilarious!! Explain that one!! lol

i worked on a big yard with lots of horses and we were out putting suncream on the pink noses, one of the worst wouldnt come near us even for the bestest polo mints and rattling of bags! spent agges trying to coax it towards us, in the end i lost all patience and threw the pot at the horse, it bolted of course! kicked the pot with her front leg, the lid came off in the process and covered the horses brand new fly rug and horses front leg and grass to make things worse another nosey horse came to join in the fun, picked the pot lid up and made off with it .... was very funny until we had to explain why there was no suncream and a rug covered in the stuff!!!

 

[brighthair]

decided on a hack that a fun thing to do would be to shorten my stirrups like I was racing. I did one stirrup and tested length by practising "racing" position. Not my brightest moment as horse set off with ears pricked, and my brain suddenly remembered "steeplechased for 10 years" Oops

Same horse, known to jump out of every field going. Turned him out on icy concrete while mucking out (I know, I know). Was walking back to stable when I heard a noise, turned round to find horse following me. Walked back to find 5 bar metal gate still secure, and perfect hoofprints where he had landed. Still no idea how he jumped that

And same horse again! who after his racing career loved travelling and loaded himself. Walked him in from the field with leadrope over his neck, then saw a horsebox (not mine!) with ramp down. Horse promptly legged it up ramp, swung bum round and stood happily eating haynet waiting for his journey then refused to budge out of it

 

[MrVelvet]

decided on a hack that a fun thing to do would be to shorten my stirrups like I was racing. I did one stirrup and tested length by practising "racing" position. Not my brightest moment as horse set off with ears pricked, and my brain suddenly remembered "steeplechased for 10 years" Oops

LOL .. this did make me chuckle, its all experience x

 

[GrumpyMare]

When I trim my boy's feathers I sometimes kneel down!

My friend has a screw loose and full on sits on the floor cross legged and does her boy's fetlocks! Makes me cringe and I'm no "elf and safety" Queen by any means...

 

[brighthair]

LOL .. this did make me chuckle, its all experience x

I've never altered my stirrups so quickly in my life

He was well known for "locking" on to a fence/bench/object - if his ears pricked as you were heading towards something, you had no choice. I once hurtled towards a park bench with an old lady sat on it screeching that I couldn't stop. She did move in time, we took off at usual 5ft too far back and once I regained control came back to apologise

 

[Horsehead]

Today, leaving the lunge line long as I walked her majesty out to the arena, she sniffed the ground stood on the line and jumped backwards, me talking rather than paying attention, poor horse :-(

 

[MrVelvet]

I've never altered my stirrups so quickly in my life

He was well known for "locking" on to a fence/bench/object - if his ears pricked as you were heading towards something, you had no choice. I once hurtled towards a park bench with an old lady sat on it screeching that I couldn't stop. She did move in time, we took off at usual 5ft too far back and once I regained control came back to apologise

hahahaha ... you really should write a book!!! i'd buy it to read on my down days!!! at least you had the decency to come back though..lol!!!!

 

[brighthair]

hahahaha ... you really should write a book!!! i'd buy it to read on my down days!!! at least you had the decency to come back though..lol!!!!

I have a blog, no book yet though!

 

[GrumpyMare]

I don't think my traumatized Cob has ever forgiven me.... The evening before our first show (in hand) I decided his overgrown tail needed a trim.
So I go into his stable, scissors in hand and start hacking away. Some bits were longer than others, so I would trim them, they'd then be short so I'd have to trim the other bits. You can see where this is going.... My beautiful TRADITIONAL Cob had a hock (maybe a tad higher) tail. I felt mortified :I I also didn't take into account the fact he'd hold it higher when trotting....

We still came first in every class and reserve champ, ha!

Needless to say I will not be cutting his tail again anytime soon and will probably ask my instructor to do it

 

[Ibblebibble]

We've all done the riding backward thingy on hack, haven't we??

haha at the clip!!!!

hehe oh yes riding backwards, riding side saddle on an ordinary saddle, riding side by side and swapping stirrups with your mate we did once try to swap ponies but failed and both ended up on floor riding with legs hung over the knee rolls (thats dead comfy that is) and of course taking hat off and hiding it in a hedge and collecting it on way home so naughty i would give my daughter such a telling off for doing half the things i used to lol

 

[orionstar]

Many moons ago with my first horse, went into the field as normal with the feed bucket and shouted. He was normally in the field with a couple of aged ponies who would give him room when he ate. Que my horse and two aged ponies at full gallop following behind two 16.2hh chestnut thoroughbred mares that had arrived and no one had told me. And I just stood there! I was still standing there thinking "horses never run into you" 0.2 seconds before the impact of the first one but I was face down in the mud when the second one ran over my legs. It took me 5 minutes to crawl out of the field and limp home. I didnt go back and retrieve the bucket until the next day and needless to say I didnt utter a word until I caught my horse and led him outside the field to eat.
I once mucked out on a rainy day wearing my McDonalds uniform as I was late for work (long time ago). The muck heap was situated in an old yard and there was no drainage and the most enormous puddle used to form around it - and yes you've guessed it, I slipped on the wet ramp and fell in. My mother made me take all of my clothes off at the back door before I could come in and I had to ring work and throw a sicky because I didnt think they would take "sorry I'm covered from head to foot in liquid horse **** and my uniforms brown" as an excuse.

 

[pardalis]

Aged 16 I was flirting with a guy that I fancied whilst admiring a mare and her foal at the gate of the field. I was only concentrating on my flirting and the protective mare bit me. On my boob. Despite a hefty bra I had teeth marks and a bruise for a month. Put paid to my flirting and I'm always wary of new mothers!!!!

 

[xspiralx]

Galloping round our farm ride with just a headcollar on. Took 7mintues to get round it all, it's about 5miles all the way around I think. Horse is a Arab x so...goes quick haha

Something's definitely up with your maths, unless you have the fastest horse in history

The record for the Grand National at 4.5 miles is 8 mins 47 seconds, so if yours did 5 miles in 7 minutes then you ought to take up racing

 

[DW Team]

Daftest thing has to be sliding down pony from the saddle down the tail. On a pony I had only owned 3 days. Lucky for me he did not mind.

 

[OneInAMillion]

The other day I knelt down to brush front legs. Pony not tied up, horse barged up behind him resulting in him shooting forwards, kneeing me in the face/eye. I had a storming head ache and a purpley-blue half of my face. Durr!

 

[somethingorother]

..not daft..just a didnt think moment

i whipped off a turnout from a liverys pony..that had leg straps!!

i remove mine, and replace with filet strings at the back..luckily, he stood still whilst i untangled him...

I'v done this, more than once. Luckily my old share gelding stood quite still but i was soooo worried he would freak out. They normally all just have fillet strings too so it caught me out when he had a new rug on.

I bent down directly in front of the old mare to stretch her legs after tacking up. Bang, nearly got knocked out and a massive split lip to show for that. Very stupid lol.

 

[fidleyspromise]

Some of these are hilarious.

The other day I was brushing out Ts stable and left the door open. She sidled up the side opposite me and then cantered out. She was gone before I could stop her. She then promptly started munching grass so I caught her and led her by the mane. She then decided not to walk into stable thanks and took minutes to get her to take enough forward steps that I could grab her headcollar.

Also done the throw the headcollar earlier this year when said young horse is normally an angel to catch decided no thanks. I felt so bad and ended up after 4 hours catching her with food!!

Riding a newly backed pony without a hat. Friend called out to ask and immediately retreived my hat for me. Thankfully pony was good.

Also done the cut the tail too long as below: (and on a Highland too)

 

[Foxhunter49]

I had several horses as hunter liveries all belonging to farmers. One busy hunting Saturday one of the owners called me to say he wasn't sure if he would be able to go or not and if he did it would be later.
I told him that I would have his horse ready and tacked up so all he had to do was hitch up his trailer and load him. If he decided not to hunt then to go down and untack the horse and I would exercise him on the Sunday.

We were all at the meet when I saw the owner pull up in his trailer. I rode over to give him a hand only to find that he had hitched up but not loaded the horse!

 

[Montyforever]

One thing I did recently was I handed Ethel over to my friend (montyforever on here who some of you know hasn't been well and she has to walk with a crutch to help her balance) and off I toodled knowing Ethel would be good enough to leave with monty as I went off to do something. I came back and decided to whip her boots off, and started with a hind one .. Whipped off the first velcro strap which scared the life out of Ethel as she was half asleep and completley unaware I was there, she shot forward and nearly ran poor monty over who had to hobble around with her crutch trying to sort herself and rebalance I felt a bit bad after that, for both of them!

Another thing I've done was when I first started riding Ethel I decided to do around the world on her. She stood like an angel and wasn't fussed at all. The next day my friend was riding in the school with me and I told her to watch how good Ethel was when I did around the world. I got to sitting backwards on her and lost my balnace a bit so put my hand on her bum to rebalance, thinking she'd be fine. She promptly shot forward and bombed around the school broncing and all I could see was her bum coming up towards my face. I had no stirrups and wasn't holding onto anything and eventually flew off backwards. I hurt my shoulder quite a bit but I just cracked up laughing, I don't know why I found it so funny! Certainly haven't attempted that one again

Haha gotta love Ethel, Mys would have smooshed me