HotToTrot
Well-Known Member
Ability to write semi-coherent report severely impeded by return to full time captivity at HMP Belmarsh Law Firm LLP and consequential lack of time (and sleep).
Was last seen at S/Ford Hills, knocking down showjumps in Int-Nov. Was cross with self. Jumped clear XC. Was less cross with self.
Co-opted husband to do jumps in school. Husband compliant. Husband then uncharacteristically circumspect; suggested I stop there. Don't tire horse out. Was suspicious at appearance of previously unheard-of caution in husband. Jumped off horse to investigate. Jumps well above my boobs. Not because boobs big and droopy; boobs pretty pert, as totally miniscule. Not because am petite and dainty; am great tall gallumpher. Because jumps best part of 1.40m. (Pls note gratuitous reference to boobs for express benefit of fans of boobs.) Felt alarmed. Then felt smug. Then confident for next run at....
ERIDGE INTERMEDIATE
As some may know, had confidence set-back at start of season. Have spent past few months lessoning, training and schooling to fill gaps in knowledge. Knowledge v lacking in first place. Is more gap than knowledge.
DR a typical shambles. Walked SJ. Caught self thinking looked small. Admonished self. Is Intermediate. Is not small. Self clearly lacking in judgement and perception. Self not to be trusted. Warmed up. Was pleased. Husband not pleased, said was rushing. Was made to jump max height upright then was allowed in. Jumped nice round but had one down. Was disappointed.
Started XC. First couple good, backed off a bit at three, four. Kicked hard to get out of sunken road. Kicked too hard. Sailed off into sunset. Was supposed to have turned. Found unsuspecting tree, detoured round tree to turn. Headed to coffin. Kicked again to make skinny wide box on exit. Cantered down long stretch, saw red flag being waved. Thought had inadvertently diverted self into Formula One pitstop. Was not Formula One pitstop. Was hold on course. Had never been held before. But had plan. Walked round, went over next few fences in head. Was re-started. Can all guess where had been held.....
At two corners. Where else?
Was not committed. Had stop at first. Smacked horse. Jumped second time, circled as numbered separately. Jumped second, on to water. Was whacking great slope down, rode harder than looked. Kicked some more on sensing horse hesitation. Next up tricky quarry. Two bounce steps up, skinny on top. V steady. Came off step and kicked like billy-o for two long strides to skinny, square, big, wide box with sharp right turn after. Came to hedge with ditch in front. Fluffed it. Got too close. Scraped right through it and sat well back, hoping landed on feet and not on nose. Whalloped him to avoid repeat at trakhener. Flew over it.
Had World's Worst Dressage Score, mediocre SJ, one stop XC and more time faults than have had hot dinners, but completed an Intermediate!! Would post pics if were up on 'tog site. Now back to work....
Was last seen at S/Ford Hills, knocking down showjumps in Int-Nov. Was cross with self. Jumped clear XC. Was less cross with self.
Co-opted husband to do jumps in school. Husband compliant. Husband then uncharacteristically circumspect; suggested I stop there. Don't tire horse out. Was suspicious at appearance of previously unheard-of caution in husband. Jumped off horse to investigate. Jumps well above my boobs. Not because boobs big and droopy; boobs pretty pert, as totally miniscule. Not because am petite and dainty; am great tall gallumpher. Because jumps best part of 1.40m. (Pls note gratuitous reference to boobs for express benefit of fans of boobs.) Felt alarmed. Then felt smug. Then confident for next run at....
ERIDGE INTERMEDIATE
As some may know, had confidence set-back at start of season. Have spent past few months lessoning, training and schooling to fill gaps in knowledge. Knowledge v lacking in first place. Is more gap than knowledge.
DR a typical shambles. Walked SJ. Caught self thinking looked small. Admonished self. Is Intermediate. Is not small. Self clearly lacking in judgement and perception. Self not to be trusted. Warmed up. Was pleased. Husband not pleased, said was rushing. Was made to jump max height upright then was allowed in. Jumped nice round but had one down. Was disappointed.
Started XC. First couple good, backed off a bit at three, four. Kicked hard to get out of sunken road. Kicked too hard. Sailed off into sunset. Was supposed to have turned. Found unsuspecting tree, detoured round tree to turn. Headed to coffin. Kicked again to make skinny wide box on exit. Cantered down long stretch, saw red flag being waved. Thought had inadvertently diverted self into Formula One pitstop. Was not Formula One pitstop. Was hold on course. Had never been held before. But had plan. Walked round, went over next few fences in head. Was re-started. Can all guess where had been held.....
At two corners. Where else?
Was not committed. Had stop at first. Smacked horse. Jumped second time, circled as numbered separately. Jumped second, on to water. Was whacking great slope down, rode harder than looked. Kicked some more on sensing horse hesitation. Next up tricky quarry. Two bounce steps up, skinny on top. V steady. Came off step and kicked like billy-o for two long strides to skinny, square, big, wide box with sharp right turn after. Came to hedge with ditch in front. Fluffed it. Got too close. Scraped right through it and sat well back, hoping landed on feet and not on nose. Whalloped him to avoid repeat at trakhener. Flew over it.
Had World's Worst Dressage Score, mediocre SJ, one stop XC and more time faults than have had hot dinners, but completed an Intermediate!! Would post pics if were up on 'tog site. Now back to work....
