The end of horses for me!

[bungalowpickle]

Well looks like it's all over for me. Had a baby 6 months ago and due to having to give up my 3 different jobs working with horses i've had to put my beautiful boy up for sale. Unfortunately he's been on loan for the last 8 months and it turns out that something has happened, i don't know what but my boy is now very very unschooled, constantly going into canter, very nervous and very hard to settle when riding. Due to this i dropped his price, still no sale lots of time wasters and one complete nutter later, i've now had to make the decision to give him to someone that wants him very much but can't give me the money for a whole year, which means that me my husband and my baby will be homeless at the end of jan ,i was using the money from the sale to pay the solicitors to buy my flat. So not only do i have all this to deal with but the worst part of all this is that my gorgeous boy is going and I'll never be able to ride him again, I'm devastated.

 

[dozzie]

Sorry to hear that. Glad you got rid of the nutter though!

 

[LauraBR]

That is very sad

If your home is dependant on the sale of your horse surely you would be better off continuing to advertise him, even if it means taking even less for him? A year is a long time and without finalising the sale your friend could just pass him back to you if large vet bills were incurred, or if the horse broke down? I would think very carefully.

 

[Angua2]

I agree with Izt, if a roof over your head is dependant on selling him then I would keep advertising

if you were to wait a year for the money you may as well be better to loan him again.... at least then you would still have him and you are covered if things go pear shaped.

 

[JadeWisc]

I have to echo what lzt said and would keep trying to sell. Sounds like you need the money badly

I am so sorry and truly hope your situation improves soon

There will be a time again for horses for you when things settle.

 

[bungalowpickle]

No i will never get another horse i can't stand the heart break my boy was my dream horse and my heart is broken. I lost my dog that i'd had 16 years the day after i found out i was pregnant and now i'm losing my horse. There will never be another horse like him. I just want someone nice to have him someone that deserves him.

 

[skewbaldpony]

So sorry you feel bad, but you know what, if it's any comfort, not OWNING a property is not the same as being homeless!
We had a financial catastrophe some years ago and will probably never own another house, but tbh, if you are in UK and have a family, you will not be homeless.
We people who rent are really quite normal, we don't crawl out of the slime at night and lick the pavements

 

[skewbaldpony]

[ QUOTE ]
No i will never get another horse i can't stand the heart break my boy was my dream horse and my heart is broken. I lost my dog that i'd had 16 years the day after i found out i was pregnant and now i'm losing my horse. There will never be another horse like him. I just want someone nice to have him someone that deserves him.

[/ QUOTE ]

On reflection, cowboy1, you sound very very down - have you thought that you might have post natal depression? How is the baby doing? Are you both well and eating properly and all that jazz?

 

[Ravenwood]

I bet things look so catastrophic at the moment because you are so emotionally wraught

If you can afford the flat, the stamp duty and moving costs surely there is someway to get together the money for the conveyancing - it seems such a shame to lose the flat now even if you added another £1k to the mortgage if thats possible.

I agree with the others, be careful about giving your horse away for a year - a lot can happen in a year.

I really hope it all works out for you.

 

[bungalowpickle]

I have clinical and manic depression anyway which i've had years and i've just been diagnosed with M.E. o not feeling too great. I love my little boy and wouldn't change him for the world but my god he's hard work!!! Horses dogs and cats are so easy in comparison!! Oh and we will be homeless it's my dad who owns my flat and is selling it so he definately won't be offering shelter and my husbands family live up north so no help there and at the moment we are only paying minimal rent and are hardly coping with that so no way we can afford normal rent and just so you know i've rented flats for the last 16 years so i know that rentees are normal people!!!!!! Well actually i'm not normal so that's not saying much.

 

[Smash]

Having an illness doesn't make you 'not normal' - what the bloody hell is normal nowadays anyway?

If you can't afford rental charges, how would you be able to pay the mortgage>

 

[skewbaldpony]

[ QUOTE ]
I have clinical and manic depression anyway which i've had years and i've just been diagnosed with M.E. o not feeling too great. I love my little boy and wouldn't change him for the world but my god he's hard work!!! Horses dogs and cats are so easy in comparison!! Oh and we will be homeless it's my dad who owns my flat and is selling it so he definately won't be offering shelter and my husbands family live up north so no help there and at the moment we are only paying minimal rent and are hardly coping with that so no way we can afford normal rent and just so you know i've rented flats for the last 16 years so i know that rentees are normal people!!!!!! Well actually i'm not normal so that's not saying much.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh well there you go, neither am I!
First off, sort out your housing situation, I'm probably telling you stuff you know, but make sure you are on the housing association/council lists, see Citizens Advice, all that malarkey, and make sure you are getting every possible benefit due to you.
I guess you also know about Home Start?
http://www.home-start.org.uk/ who can give you some support and time off with/from baby. I had girls cos I'm too lazy to do boys

Now you're battling with ME as well as Depression, you need to look after you - maybe there is a horse charity somewhere near you who will take your boy in, and you will still be able to ride him and care for him? Where abouts are you?
You've got a lot on your plate, and you're actually doing just fine to even say as much and express your pissedoffedness (technical term) to us, so bellow for help around you, too.

 

[kerilli]

don't let him go to someone who promises to pay "in a year", a friend did this and never saw the money (plus, the horse was treated horribly). for some people unfortunately, if they pay nothing, they think it's worth nothing. please don't do this to your horse.
i really hope you find a solution to your troubles.

 

[MooMoo]

I would be wary too, it's just a bit weird that they're looking for a horse they dont have money for. for a start why dont they just wait until they do have the money, then look and also i wonde what makes them so sure they'll have the money in a year. seems a bit odd tbh.

i really do feel for you especially with having your baby to deal with as well as the issue about your horse. i'm glad you got that weirdo sorted out. i know its not much help but i'm sure things will come right for you soon enough.

 

[jen1]

Oh god just read your post what a shame you have to give up your lovely horse can you maybe re think things so he can stay with you? could he be turned away for a while while you get yourself together? I agree that loaning him out could be worse in the long run, either you won't get your money or he will come back lame or something?

I know what it's like believe me, I am going through a horrible divorce, have 2 (fantastic, but young) children, no family to support me and I don't know if I will be able to afford to live in the house I am in but I am doing everything I can to keep my horse.

I have found a sharer, he just has front shoes (the horse not the sharer!!) I get cheap feed for him (cob so good dooer) etc etc and have paired everything to the bone to keep him. When I am feeling really down (and the tablets are not helping) going to see my horse just makes everything feel better and I forget all my worries even if they do all come flooding back when I leave the yard.

Compounded with everything else you may be suffering post natal depression which is horrible and you think no one understands the situation you are in and there's no way out. Maybe pop to the doctor and have a chat you may find that there's something they can do to help. I wish you good luck in what ever you decide to do, keep your chin up and talk to people on here if it helps, you have had some lovely and very supportive replies. Let us know how you get on, I don't think it will be the end of horses, they have a funny way of getting into your soul and back into your life!!

 

[bungalowpickle]

Thank you everyone for the support, what a lovely bunch of people! I'm on medication already have been for years but i think just too much going on at the moment. We have discussed loaning him out again but i'm so nervous after last time, the lady that took him was lovely, i don't think it was anything that was done on purpose i just think that her instructor was no good and pushed him too far. But the fact is that he is now worth less than he was cos of everything that's happened so who's to say what could happen if i loan him out again. I just feel so sorry for him he just needs to have someone who loves him as much as i do. I would put him out on loan if i could find someone i could trust. Any offers?!?!?

 

[PippiPony]

(((((((Big Hugs)))))))) Know a little of how you feel. My little boy is 22 months, My treasured mare who i had huge hopes for went lame with a second hind suspensory injury. Luckily i have a stud who have taken her for me but we have no money for a replacement because of the baby money is tight & so i am selling saddles & horsebox & spending heaps of time in floods of tears at the moment. I can't see any way back to horses & am stuggling with this, a full time job & little man. Hope it works out for you.

 

[bungalowpickle]

i'm so sorry for all of you in the same boat as me, God life's hard and then you die!! Only once you become a mum you don't have the option of when you die anymore!!
If my husbands new job didn't mean that we can't move for 2 years i think i would move up north the livery there is so much cheaper than surrey!! Then maybe i could keep him, it's just that we have struggled for years to keep him and it's like now we just can't struggle anymore and i just think that it's not fair on him either.

 

[skewbaldpony]

[ QUOTE ]
Thank you everyone for the support, what a lovely bunch of people! I'm on medication already have been for years but i think just too much going on at the moment. We have discussed loaning him out again but i'm so nervous after last time, the lady that took him was lovely, i don't think it was anything that was done on purpose i just think that her instructor was no good and pushed him too far. But the fact is that he is now worth less than he was cos of everything that's happened so who's to say what could happen if i loan him out again. I just feel so sorry for him he just needs to have someone who loves him as much as i do. I would put him out on loan if i could find someone i could trust. Any offers?!?!?

[/ QUOTE ]

OK - so 1) you - sort your meds, see your doc, tell full story, get everything adjusted.
2) you - get on all those housing lists - hey some of those new housing association places are nice, and you have a baby and will be homeless so you are top of the list
3) you - call home start and get some time off.
4) you - pm skewbald and tell her to stop being a bossy cow.
5) baby - thank god for him daily because he's a special gift, and these days of his tininess will pass, and then you'll lament them. so give him a hug from me. and tell him a bossy cow sent it.
6) horse - very improperly give full details of horse and location on here and hope someone nearby will have him on loan, sort him out, and make him shiny like new again. We know we can do it. Well I can't cos I'm up to my eyes in hairy ponies but I expect someone can.
7) try to keep smiling and bear in mind, things could be worse, I mean look at the nutter?!
8) (This is for everyone else) Come along chaps, what are you waiting for, you know one of you wants to take cowboy1's horse and restore him to his former glory, now stop shuffling your feet at the back there and speak up!

 

[derbydevil]

Sorry to hear you're in such a mess hun. I can't offer anymore to what everyone else has said other than If you want anyone to chat to about ME and the fun it brings drop me a PM (tried to PM you but you're not accepting them), I've had it for 15yrs.

Hugs from me x

 

[Weezy]

Gosh

OK, so your horse is behaving erratically - I am pretty sure someone on here (poss even me) can take him on for you for 3 months and get him into a state that will mean he is worth an amount of money. Tell us about him, all stats please

 

[skewbaldpony]

See? SEE? I told you! Well done Weezy, might have guessed that was you coughing modestly at the back

Do not be cast down when there is a HHOer around! If you're not careful you'll have people delivering cakes and taking your washing home

 

[bungalowpickle]

Weezy you have already seen him i was the one trying to sell and you told me he was overpriced cos he hasn't competed and he's getting on in years to be sold as having potential.http://equestrian.uk.freeads.net/ho...ul+stunning+dutch+warmblood+17.1hh-194268.htm

 

[bungalowpickle]

http://equestrian.uk.freeads.net/horses_....1hh-194268.htm

 

[bungalowpickle]

To the Skewbald can i just say that your posts have made me laugh and it's the first time i've laughed in ages thank you. Now accepting PM's thanks for pointing that out.

 

[JadeWisc]

I bet you start getting some PMs

Very pretty horse


This will all work out

 

[skewbaldpony]

[ QUOTE ]
To the Skewbald can i just say that your posts have made me laugh

[/ QUOTE ]

You should see me on a horse

 

[MurphysMinder]

Can't offer any help with your horse I'm afraid, just wanted to send some hugs. Never fails to amaze me how the people on this forum rally round fellow members in trouble. Wish you had all been around when I was going through my divorce, I am sure you would have made things so much easier. As the flat is being sold from under you so to speak surely the council have a duty to house you? Realise you might not get anything to wonderful but would at least be a start. I agree that you should cherish your time with your little boy now, I know it is exhausting when they are so young, but just wait till he reaches 15 like my lad

 

[JadeWisc]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
To the Skewbald can i just say that your posts have made me laugh

[/ QUOTE ]

You should see me on a horse

[/ QUOTE ]

I am sure I am more laughable than anyone in that area

 

[0ldmare]

Poor poor you ((((hugs)))) from me as well. I dont know what to say, but I do think you should consider keeping advertising. Whats to say this person is going to have the money in a year's time? Or at least get her to pay you monthly. I just feel uneasy about the plan and think you could easily get done over

A friend of mine has had huge money problems (and I mean huge!). She has ME and 2 autistic boys, plus an absent father. She went to Payplan and they sorted out a payment of £100/month to her (many) creditors - thats £100 in total/month. She kept the house although there has been a lot of times when it could have been lost. Please go and seek advise from the Citizens advise or speak to someone like Payplan (its free, they dont make a profit out of you)