There seem to be a few preople needing a sense of humour transplant. With the exception of the 'making up an illness reference', this thread has been hilarious.
Having noticed a lot of repetitive posts lately, I hope you all enjoy my handy time saving thread.
Got a question you need answered? Check here first!
Q: What should I feed my horse to make the transition to barefoot?
A: Glad you asked this, as no one else ever has. In fact, if you check the archives, I doubt you'll find a single post on the subject. Wait a mo, I'm sure some kind and knowledgable soul will be along soon to take time and trouble explaining the subject in detail, it's not like they've ever taken the bother before.
Q: What do you think of my horse's confirmation (sic)/constructive criticism please.
A: It's beautiful. A total babe, and perfectly put together. Anyone who says different is a bully/nasty/jealous/a hater.
Q: Am I too heavy for my horse? What's the correct percentage?
A: There is no correct percentage. You are totally fine to ride your horse wherever and whenever you like. As long as you love him, he'll be fine
So don't let anyone tell you you're too heavy! They're just BULLIES!
Q: My YO won't let me feed hay in the bare field to my turned out horse/lets other liveries ride my horse/uses my tack on her horses/doesn't maintain fences safely/forgets to feed my horse. What should I do?
A: Well, one thing you definitely SHOULDNT do is move, if its at all difficult for you to manage. Your horse won't mind being hungry in the field or hurting himself on barbed wire, or being ridden around by every Tom, Dick and Harry. You don't need the stress of leaving your yard friends, or the expense of transport, so just stay put and whine on here every now and then. The horse will be fine, they're quite tough. Anyone who says different is a bully.
Q: Should I take my horse's rug off?
A: Well, I'm not sure where you live, but its sunny here so I'd say go for it. You're definitely right to ask though, strangers on a forum spread throughout the country will almost CERTAINLY have a better grasp of your local weather and your horse's hardiness than you do.
Q: My horse is injured. Should I call the vet?
A: As you probably know, vets are expensive, so it's a good idea to check with HHO before you put your hand in your pocket. Make sure you keep the thread going a few days before calling them though, if you do decide its worth it. That way we can see all the ups and downs to help you come to a decision.
Nb - if it's the weekend or after hours, just slap a sticking plaster on and go to bed. Horses are great healers.
Q: My horse bit me when I tightened his girth/bucked/tripped over/sneezed/lost weight over winter. What's his problem!?
A: He has gastric ulcers. Or kissing spines. It'll be one or the other, the horses on the forum always are, which is handy as its so easy to remember. You must scope for ulcers and get him a full body x-ray IMMEDIATELY. But if he coughs or farts before the results come in, or if he's over 10 I'd advise PTS.
If I've missed anything please do let me know
Fantastic news! Are you using that supplement now? What do you think of it?
Really pleased for you, fantastic turn of events
. But we did agree, her first post made it look very suspicious!
As a forum novice I'd just like to thank everybody for the best entertainment since joining!! Love & xxx to all out there - oh & please wish me luck, tomorrow is my first baby novice ridden show since backing my (usually) well behaved 4 yo NF. I'll be the one in the portaloo busy throwing up 
Brill wagtail,
PMSL dorian grey
Can i just say my apologies to Em, having now spoken with her at great length off the forum she isnt hihosilver
Excellent thread, OP.
I'd like to add one:
Make sure you title your threads in such a way that people have no idea what it's about. The unfinished sentence is always a good one. Then everyone has to click on it to find out what it's really about and the vast majority won't even be interested! Something like:
'Don't you just hate it when...'
User clicks on thread to then reads:
'You realise you have put the wrong boots on...'
WTF?! Grrr!