The little questions you would ask your horse if they could talk

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Sophstar

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We all do it and as I found myself again having a good chat with the cob as he stood there and intently listened to what gabble I was coming out with, I thought 'it would be great if you could answer all these questions I'm asking.':D

So what would you ask your nags if they could answer?!

To my cob it would be little questions like...


Does he prefer his tail left knotty or brushed to perfection in its effectiveness to swot flies?
Where does he find the patience to be best friends with brat pony?
Why does he argue to walk in the middle of the road rather than stick to the edge?:rolleyes:

To the brat pony it would be...

Where did he learn his ninja skills to climb through any small space or fence?
Why does he insist on untying himself and pulling the baling twine with his teeth to it snaps?!
Why does he have to bite the nose of any friendly pony who just wants to say hi?!:eek:
 
I would ask the old mate why at 21 she still feels the need to spook at everything as if it's the first time out on a hack......

Mil1212- a friends horse was lame the other day.... I ask him what's wrong while waiting for her to get to the field and he lifted up his right fore and showed it to me, it was the leg he was lame on. Once we got him back to the yard we found he had twisted his heart bar and one of the toe clips was digging in! We still chuckle about him 'telling' me what was wrong when I asked.
 
I wish Sandy could talk, I have some questions that I could do with him answering!

How can you possibly be scared of so many things, despite seeing them multiple times? I mean, when did a grid ever swallow someone up?

Also, why can't you just get a grip and let me spray various products onto you!?

And finally..

WHY MUST YOU KICK THE BLOODY STABLE DOOR!? YOU ONLY END UP GETTING SHOUTED AT!

Silly pony! :D
 
I understand that galloping on a beach or in a big field is The Best Fun, but
why wont you stop at the end?

Surely a reasonable speed during a hunter trial makes more sense? You would have a better view of the fences and think of the ones you've hit because you were going too fast and wouldn't steady when I asked you to?

Why is it the end of the world if there is a horse in front of you?
 
Where do i start!!!!!

Why is the yard cat your best friend one day but utterly terrifying the next?

Why do you make your 'toilet' in the field gateway?

Why do you turn into a devil horse whenever the vet walks onto the yard?

Why do you break into the fat camp then whinny at me untill I fetch you out and feed you?

Why do you lap at water like a dog instead of sucking like a normal horse?

I could go on! My horse is a freak!
 
My Appy:
Why do you always look down drains? Is it because you are scared of them or are you just being cheeky?
Are you clingy to other horses because you were weaned in a stressful way?
Have you had an accident travelling? Is that why you hate travelling so much?
Where were you born? (Don't have any history of where he came from - just know he is from Ireland so would love to hear all about his early years!) \
 
Haha, some of these are good :)

I think I would be asking 'How, at 32 years old did you managed to strain your tendon in the field? Was it when you were climbing in and out of the ditch? Or when you went winding horrid welsh pony up? And why are you still doing this at your age?'

And I would like to ask his old mate 'Why do you stand staring at your friend screaming in his face for no reason?'

Im sure there would be better questions to ask, but these two would be like war heroes, ask 'em anything about the past and I can imagine you'd be talked to death. Probably better they don't talk.
 
Did you Mum (as in human owner) tell you where she was going? or even THAT she was going?
Do you miss her (your human owner)? Do you miss the ones before?
Do you mind babysitting all the youngsters in the field all day?
Will you PLEASE stop spooking at nothing? (you broke my arm doing that once, did you know?)


.....


...


Who's the better rider/food bringer...me or your Mum? :D
 
guido16 said:
Simple. To all of mine

Are you happy?

And if the answer is no, the only other question would be

What can I do to make you happy?
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That's all well and good if they're the honest, sweet things we think they are. I have a feeling though that a few I know would turn round and say no, demanding the latest Anky matchy matchy, bling browbands, a new lickit toy, life sized portraits of themselves on the stable walls....basically like spoilt children :P
 
I'd ask my gelding why he feels the need to panic as soon as he leaves his friends as he knows full well I'd never let anything happen to him. And also why gateways are super scary.
I'd ask my mare why she feels the need to nap not towards home but away from home! Strange mare.
 
Good lord! I would run out of time to ask her all the questions

My favourites would be:

Do you think it is funny to stand on my foot everyday?

Do you really need to kick any other horse that is not your BFF?

Are you racist because it is only coloured horses that set you off out hacking?

But the one I ask her all the time is:

When I have spent a bl**dy fortune buying you, kitting you out and generally catering to your every whim do you HONESTLY think the ditch I am asking you to jump will kill you?

:D
 
"Do you think I try to pick your massive dinnerplate feet up for fun? - If you'd just help me a little bit then I can help you a hundredfold back"

"Why are you fine with buses, strimmers & aircraft but jump a mile at the hosepipe snake?"

"How many babies have you had?"

"Do you actually like being ridden?"

"Do you like me?"

I usually ask her these questions anyway so god knows what I'd do if she answered.
 
With mine I know her so well there's little left to ask except
'is there anything else I could do for you to make life happier?'
And 'what is it you do/about you that makes every horse, old & young immediately respect & follow you without fear?'
 
Crazydancer said:
Right now it would be "can you describe the ****** who broke into the yard last night and stole everything?"

And I mean everything, they even un-screwed the hinges and stole the stable doors. :(:(:(
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For pity's sake!!!!!! The stable doors!!!!! That's dreadful!
 
I would ask:

What exactly is so scary at the bottom of Rodbaston arena? She always has big spooks when we dressage there.

What are you trying to say when you constantly wicker at me?

Do you believe that spooking and generally being an ass to ride is making me a better rider?

What were your foals like?

Did your miscarriage affect you like I think it did?

Do u love me as much as I love you?
 
And to my beloved old pony : why do you have to boss every horse about and round it up like you are a border collie?

Do u miss being ridden?

Are you happy? I know the answer to this I hope- she eats all day everyday, and bosses youngsters- her 2 fave activities.
 
Crazydancer said:
Right now it would be "can you describe the ****** who broke into the yard last night and stole everything?"

And I mean everything, they even un-screwed the hinges and stole the stable doors. :(:(:(
Click to expand...

:eek: Oh gosh, that's awful :(:( Poor you.



I would ask my boy a few things...

Why do you act as if suncream being applied to your nose is a form of torture when a few minutes later when I'm about to give up, you will happily want to lick it off my hand? :confused::confused:

Why do you like licking people's trainers and pulling their shoe laces?

Do you prefer the bitless bridle?

Have the other horses in the field stopped being mean to you when I'm not there?

Why do you always make a grumpy face when you see your yellow exercise sheet (but not any of the other ones?)

And a soppy one... Do you know how much I utterly adore you?! :o:)
 
Generally are you happy? What important things could I change? Do you love me as much as I love you? To the cob, how much can you see out of your damaged eye? And to the tb do you like your new job better than your old one?
 
Easy: "Why are you such a knob?" :D :D
Other than that I'd like to just talk to him and explain poles on the ground won't eat him, hacking is supposed to be fun and rearing doesn't help any of us get anywhere.. :)
 
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