The little questions you would ask your horse if they could talk

Why oh why do you have to be so daft when stabled? I only bring you in for your own good, your stable is warm and dry, you have nice neighbours, a good view, a regular routine, more hay than you can eat and two feeds. So why do you feel the need to make such a bloody mess every morning?
 
would you prefer to live out full-time, since you like being out so much? (would save me a bundle on stable / livery fees!)

Why are you so anxious / frightened of everything? - has anything happened in your "before-me" lifetime to make you feel that way?

Were you mistreated in your early years growing up in Spain (0-4 yrs old)?

Will you ever calm down and get over your ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), enough to do a proper dressage test?

And I would say to him "I would never let anything happen to you" - although I say this daily anyway!
 
why can you do an amazing extended trot when not under saddle?

why did you buck me off once a week, for seven weeks, when i first got you?

why cant you poo and walk at the same time?

why is the same thing scary one day and not the next?

am i heavy? do you think i need to loose weight!
 
I would want to know all about where he came from (Holland supposedly), when and why.

Has someone been nasty to you, is that why you are wary of people? and do you know that I would never ever do anything to hurt you?

How did you get those big white patches under your girth area, and does it have anything to do with you freaking out when I try and tighten your girth once I have mounted?

Do you enjoy being ridden? Would you like to learn something new like xcountry?

Why wont you let me spray you or put a fly mask on, when I can tell the flies bother you SO much!
 
the one simple question that they all need to answer at some point 'why did you do that you muppet??':rolleyes::D:D

I have actually asked it many a time but never had an answer!
 
there is only one question I would want to ask Chico and it would simply be....

Do you trust me?

because as long as he trusts me and i trust him i am sure we can overcome any problems, even if it takes time.
 
I remember my sisters 37 year old boy who needed his medication(in his feed) and acted as if she was the most cruel owner in the world when she just needed to be kind to him!

Her frustration question was" Why in all the years I have owned you NEVER been horrible to you or hurt you and you think I had? Why wont you come near me?"

I would like to know if mine really likes me or that I am the walking FOOD.
 
I have owned you for 8 years and I know you trust me. So why then do you need to spook and turn for home for no reason, when I know you are usually utterly bomproof out hacking?

Tell me if you are in pain, instead of being stoic and getting along with it, like usual.
 
Mine would probably be " Is it really necessary to spook at that?" or to Will "Has someone hurt you in the past" or "Do you really have to not help me at all when I pick your feet out?!". The thing I normally say to them is more of a statement "You know you're a banana don't you?".:)
 
To Piggy: "How did you get to be so brave?", "what has happened to make you so wary of men?" and "do you appreciate your new farrier?" :D

To Millie (aka Psycho Horse): "Why did you try to kill me the other night and how the b*ggering hell did you think it'd be in your best interests when I'm the one who pays for you?!"
 
I'd ask knobberpony;

What happened to make you;

Not like people, and grumpy?
Dislike equine company?
Not like your ears being touched? [ear twitching I suspect]
Why can you be a pain sometimes at home,but behave perfectly when you are out?
 
To BigHorse, I would ask if he is enjoying his break and does he mind I don't see him all the time so he can spend max time in the field?

To BabyHorse I would explain why he's on box rest and that it is good for him in the long run and will forget about it in a few months, that i love him and im proud of how well he's behaved so far on box rest.

I would also ask him to stop biting my husband, it's not making him popular!
 
Why the bloody hell do you keep cantering up and down the bloody field whilst waiting for this bloody surgery despite not being given bute in the hope that you'll stay quiet and I know you're then making the stifle sore as your compensatory foot keeps getting bloody hot. Why for once in your life can you not just follow the bloody plan for five bloody minutes.

Signed,
An owner who is very much over it.
 
AShetlandBitMeOnce said:
Why the bloody hell do you keep cantering up and down the bloody field whilst waiting for this bloody surgery despite not being given bute in the hope that you'll stay quiet and I know you're then making the stifle sore as your compensatory foot keeps getting bloody hot. Why for once in your life can you not just follow the bloody plan for five bloody minutes.

Signed,
An owner who is very much over it.
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Yes agree ASBMO.😅😅

Lari decided to wander off yesterday whilst I tried to put his face mask on. Tried not to walk to quickly after him as he'd just run faster. He walked out of the barn onto the outer yard (thank God he ignored the three month box rested horse on the walker) as he walked past.

He ended up escaping through a gate and doing a very fine elevated trot down the side of the school, where he met some new horses over their electric fencing and got short shift from them before remembering he had a sore foot! 🙄
 
I'd ask Rabbit the following :

1) Why do you wind up your brother when you know it'll result in you getting your ass kicked and coming in with some sort of cut/bruise/scrape etc in the most awkward place for me to treat
2) What makes poo a popular choice for a pillow - especially when you have a large stable with thick rubber matting and about 9 bales of shavings down, so ample space to avoid the poop
3) Why is it that you're perfectly fine with anything loud and noisy, but a leaf on the ground is deemed certain death and we cannot absolutely even THINK about going past it without snorting and then lurching forwards like a racehorse out the start gates

I'd ask Baggs the following :

1) Even though your little brother is annoying, when you're giving him a bollocking for pushing the limits, please can you limit the damage that you do to a simple bite mark on his ass or somewhere easily treatable
2) Why are you lazy when weeing and wee on your belly rather than dropping properly and weeing the correct way (been seen by multiple vets who have cleared him of any and all potential issues - all coming to the conclusion of he simply CBA!)
3) Why won't you let me give you a kiss on the nose, but the second I give your brother a kiss on the nose, you kick up a riot and demand attention, I give you attention and then you refuse it - WHY?!

On the whole my boys are pretty well behaved and seldom put a hoof out of line - but there are some questions that I think I'll never get the answer to 😅
 
I have a mare that I would love to ask what the problem is ? She has an attitude - I compare her to a Siamese cat … she is very very well behaved but it always looks like it’s an effort for her - she doesn’t bite or kick but it always looks as if she would really like to.

I’d like to ask her would she like more attention or less because she always wants to be in first but I get the distinct impression that she would really like you to sod off… but maybe she just has resting bitch face
 
Little pony - why do you bite your brother's bottom when you're half his size and it annoys him? Are you happy?

Big pony - I'd like to tell him this is his last home, he's not going anywhere. I'd ask him what happened to make him scared and tell him that even on the days we can't walk in a straight line, he's always perfect to me.
 
Tarragon said:
I would really love to know what my little anxious pony is so worried about and why, and be able to tell him that it really isn't as bad as he thinks it is and I will look after him.
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This! I tell Dave every day that I will not let anything eat him or hurt him, or even look at him funny.
 
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