The little questions you would ask your horse if they could talk

I love this. I'd love to tell:

My Connie:
- Do you really think I would put you in dangrous situations? You can chill out hacking, I promise!
- Tell me all about your past - I've only had him since he was 9, and I'm desperate to know more about his early years
- The tack stuff - Is your girth comfy, does your saddle fit? which is your fave saddlecloth etc
- I'd like to tell him how grateful I am that him being in my life has allowed me to do so much and that he will be safe forever and never moved on again

My retired cob:
- How much does your arthritis hurt? Am I giving you enough pain relief?
- I'd just like tell him that he is the love of my life <3
 
Not really a question but I’d really like the boy to know that he’s with me for life, and life means life. I tell him this most days and I hope on some level he understands.
On a more practical level….’ Would you like a rug on today? And if so, which one?’
‘What do you think of my attempts to speak Spanish to you?’ (Insert horse laughter here…)
 
What does your ideal day look like

How often would you like to be ridden, how do feel after your work

Are your feet OK, any aching muscles

Are you too warm in that rug, or are you cold in the night
 
My younger horse -

Why are you so worried about sheep, when a double decker bus is no problem?
Are you happy with your routine?
Is all your tack comfortable?
I would thank him for being such an honest and loveable boy.

My older boy -

I would like to thank him for being the most wonderful horse for the last 16 years.
I would ask him if he has any aches and pains he wants me to deal with? (doesn't seem too, he is 21 ans still going strong)
I would tell him he owes me nothing and will be safe and cared for, for the rest of his life.
 
Baby spots:
I really want to know how you managed to break your skull a couple of years ago. Was it a kick and where you pissing someone off? Did you bonk your head off of a tree? How exactly did it happen? Also - well done for taking it like a champ. I’d also explain that it is indeed him that he sees when he looks in the mirror, not another handsome spotty horse who needs to be scowled at. Also please dont try to bite the sheep when we ride in their field.

Big brown:
Is this new supplement I’m giving you actually making a difference to your comfort levels? Also, why do you weave in the stable? Does it release endorphins or something, because I know you only do it when people are around and no it does not make me work faster! Secondly, what is the aversion to Kit Kats? You always insist I give you a piece then proceed to spit it out. every. Damn. Time.
 
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There's a Doctor Who episode in S7 where the Doctor says, "I speak horse..." and the very first thing (and only thing) I thought was, 'Dude, have I got a job for you. Once horse owners get their hands on your sorry arse, you will never, ever have the time to save the universe again.'

Mine would include, 'There are no lions/aliens/Daleks in Mugdock Park. Seriously.'

'Umbrellas are not an alien invasion.'

'Eat less grass. You brought this sh*t on yourself.'

'What happened to you at that trainer's yard?'

'Does your saddle fit?'

'Do you need a rug? If so, which one?'

'Don't touch the damn wire fences. Ever!!!'

And in the case of my old horse, 'Fencewalking??????? Why???????'
 
Oh, I love this! To my cob, Why do you sigh so dramatically when I’m late with dinner? And to the cheeky pony, What possessed you to think the wheelbarrow is your personal snack tray?

What would yours say back if they could talk? 😆🐴
 
“How are you cool as a cucumber when two gigantic tractors drive past you, one after the other, but spook at a feather being blown by a breeze?”

“How did you break your jaw?” - this was years before I got him, and his previous owner didn’t know either.

“Do you have any idea how happy it’s made me being your person, even though you’re a giant idiot money-pit?”
 
Is it time now? (To every horse I’ve owned, at the point where I’m starting to think the answer to that question is “yes”)
 
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