The love of the countryside by the non rural public

LinzyD said:
What a brilliant thread.

We used to have a livery yard with a footpath running through it. Across from the stables and not directly on the footpath was a mown lawn with our garden furniture and flower planters. Almost on a weekly basis hoards of ramblers would settle down and unpack their lunches in my garden and then be horribly offended if I asked them to move on. "But there's a pic-nic table, surely that means it's a pic-nic area?" "Yes, it's MY pic-nic table, in MY garden!" I quickly learned that the most effective thing was simply to let the dog out and then pretend I hadn't noticed anything - greedy Golden Retriever very partial to crisps, sandwiches and even grapes, very hairy and usually moulting, often reeking of fox poo.
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Bet, quite a few pubs can say similar stories, when a herd of ramblers take most of tables in the garden, gets half a shandy between 6 of them, unpack theirs lunches and then get incredibly shirty when the pub owner tells them to buy food in the pub or get lost.
 
lhotse said:
Luckily, the guy who MOT's and fixes my car also runs a farm, complete with cows, chickens, pigs and also a large livery yard. I think if I had to take it to a proper garage, they would refuse to get in it!!!
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Back when I worked in the corporate world and was with a software company whose name begins with "Micro" and ends with "soft" we had an on-site valeting service in the basement of one of our buildings. I used to have to clean the car before I took it to them . . . and pay them extra . . . oh, the shame :(.

P
 
Dunlin said:
I had to take my car for it's MOT the other week. The tester moaned non-stop about how I had clearly driven through a swamp and never bothered to wash my car for the past 3 years. After a brief conversation it turned out he had been down here for 3 days and had come from Manchester. It then got worse when he got inside and screamed ARGHHHHH as he was confronted with Labrador hairs, horse hairs, pig hairs and the odd pig nut that had dropped out of the sack. He was clearly about to blow his stack. I told him I had put the car through a Deluxe BP car wash this morning at a cost of £8 and had used the hoover on the inside but it wasn't very effective and due to the very dodgy country roads, muck spreading season and the immense flooding down here then yes I had effectively driven my car through a swamp to get here and all that "swamp" on the car was only 20 minutes old. He didn't believe me and thought I was disgusting. I asked him what he was going to do when a Land Rover came in for an MOT that wasn't a Chelsea Tractor but a proper working 4x4. He actually looked horrified and said "I thought the countryside was all about clean and healthy living"!

Not sure what he expected people to do, jet wash the car and then have them delivered by helicopter? Why on earth would someone so precious about muck be a car mechanic?!

I have also encountered so many non local idiots that are stuck driving through floods I have now lost count. At what point does someone in a Vauxhall Adam think that water coming up over the bonnet and in the doors is safe let alone a good idea?!
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i have been told by an MOT man that they can actually refuse to MOT a car if it is too caked in mud!! and i did have a advisory on an MOT about the mud underneath my 4x4!! in all honesty if i'd have washed the mud off the chassis probably would have fallen apart but i kept that to myself. Although i live in a small town it's pretty rural around the edges, the drive to my yard involves going past a small dairy unit so my car is always covered in cow crap and the lanes are narrow and flood so it's always muddy and messy. will get the jet wash on it before the MOT next month ;)
 
I had the opposite when I took a couple of yard buddies to London in rush hour and they had to get on the tube. They had never been to London and made such a fuss and got in the way of all the commuters which as most of you will know - they are not to be messed with at 7.30 on a Monday morning! One friend actually started crying but I couldn't stop laughing :)
Imagine the horror when I told them there was no driver on the DLR!!!!
 
My mum and I once had the pleasure to watch a silly old posh city women trying to get her and her grandchildren across a shallow but wide river on Exmoor one summer. we had to hide our heads and pretend we were just sunbathing for the laughter!
She took their shoes off and for some reason thought the best option was to chuck the shoes across to the other side one by one. we needless to say all 4 shoes ended up floating down the river and out of site and all 3 of them ended up soaking their best Sunday outfits!

I'm sorry to say no we couldn't offer to help with all the crying with laughter. (she wasn't that old and very able bodied just an idiot!)
 
Jola said:
I had the opposite when I took a couple of yard buddies to London in rush hour and they had to get on the tube. They had never been to London and made such a fuss and got in the way of all the commuters which as most of you will know - they are not to be messed with at 7.30 on a Monday morning! One friend actually started crying but I couldn't stop laughing :)
Imagine the horror when I told them there was no driver on the DLR!!!!
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HA! I'm so acutely aware of the possibility of looking like an idiot country bumbkin when I shockingly venture into a city so I try so hard to look like I belong. I must stand out like a sore thumb! the hay in the hair probably gives me away also.
Plus we tend to be easily impressed by city things and I'm sure that's very evident! :D
 
Jola said:
I had the opposite when I took a couple of yard buddies to London in rush hour and they had to get on the tube. They had never been to London and made such a fuss and got in the way of all the commuters which as most of you will know - they are not to be messed with at 7.30 on a Monday morning! One friend actually started crying but I couldn't stop laughing :)
Imagine the horror when I told them there was no driver on the DLR!!!!
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Haha! Thankfully I'm pretty "London" and Countryside savvy, so usually don't make too much of an ass of myself! That and I'm far too cautious to cause much of a scene anyway!
 
Must admit that on my first recent foray into London I had no idea about using the in/out ticket machines, always used to be a man punching tickets on the gate last time I went! Also don't know about Oyster cards etc.
 
Penny Less said:
Must admit that on my first recent foray into London I had no idea about using the in/out ticket machines, always used to be a man punching tickets on the gate last time I went! Also don't know about Oyster cards etc.
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Ha I can't help the mini inside panic of oh god what if it steals my ticket and Then I will try and put it in the wrong way or something I don't know. Londoners must hate me when I'm on their turf!
 
But I have to say I am a bit of a train expert as far as everything else goes I have no problem I love the train! Driving around a city now that is hell!
 
RaposadeGengibre said:
Bet, quite a few pubs can say similar stories, when a herd of ramblers take most of tables in the garden, gets half a shandy between 6 of them, unpack theirs lunches and then get incredibly shirty when the pub owner tells them to buy food in the pub or get lost.
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Used to work in a pub in the Peak District and this happened all the time - beyond rude!

We also had a family of 6 drive a people carrier up our (signposted private) farm lane, unpack their picnic and start having a jolly countryside afternoon on our garden furniture...on the front lawn of one of the holiday cottages. I found the funny side but we had to peel my mum of the ceiling she went so crackers.

Penny Less said:
Must admit that on my first recent foray into London I had no idea about using the in/out ticket machines, always used to be a man punching tickets on the gate last time I went! Also don't know about Oyster cards etc.
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Every time I have to go to London for work I die a little bit inside, I hate the tube, and the train, and I really hate Kings Cross station. :(
 
We have a small beach just down the road, it has been known for people to park on the beach at low tide and then toddle off to the Pandora Inn for a long lunch, then a nice walk only to find the tide has come in. Nothing like watching a car being towed up the hill with water pouring out of the boot!!
 
Has anyone ever seen a happy looking rambler? I never have,they always look miserable.We've just had a complaint that the mud from the gateways is overflowing onto the footpath and it is too muddy to walk in.
 
Looking at these posts, I'm so glad I live in the middle of nowhere pretty much and rarely ever see a walker and certainly nowhere near my land - that's the good thing about having no trespassing laws up here, people can go anywhere they want which means you dont get concentrated walking places like you do down south ;) I'm surprised if I see a cyclist on my road. Although I did have a very sweaty cyclist turn up at my door last month (yep, in lyrca...in December...in NE Scotland...brrr!) saying he was from the nearest town and had got lost. He was due to pick his kids up from school and would I take him there! Ummmm.... put a strange sweaty man in my car with his filthy bike, along with my 1.5 yr old son (nobody else at home) and drive him what would have been a 30 mile round trip?! (he was 15 miles from the school!). No thanks!!
 
mirage said:
Has anyone ever seen a happy looking rambler? I never have,they always look miserable.We've just had a complaint that the mud from the gateways is overflowing onto the footpath and it is too muddy to walk in.
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They love to look morbid and miserable don't they? Thing is, they never put their hand up to wave to us, or say a cheery good morning. I know it is their divide right to walk these footpaths in this weather but they could at least acknowledge the lengths we go to, to keep access open. I have a right to see my GP but I'm still pleasant to him when I go in!
 
I am the wrong side of 50, been to London 3 times for theatre trips. Never been on tube or a plane. Never been on a train until the London trips.

Avoided Birmingham until ill health made me go to the QE university hospital. Never been to Manchester, Liverpool or any other big cities. Bumpkin in a muddy rut is me and I love it.
 
Ah, towny children! Daughter's schoolfriend came to stay for weekend, although requested to come in oldest gear, she only had matching designer stuff. First thing she saw was YO's OH decapitate rat with a well aimed spade, it took me half an hour to stop her shrieking. Then fetching the pony in she fell head first into the mud at the gate, it didn't help that everyone collapsed with laughter! she never came again.
moleskinsmum said:
Friend's rented field is on the edge of a village and has fairly rickety fencing so they have ring fenced about a meter in with electric fencing which does the job well. However, she had a visit from an enraged father who had had to "take his daughter to A&E" as she'd had a shock from the fence. Child shouldn't have been inside the perimeter fence anyway but how dare friend have a dangerous fence that children might touch!
Father had obviously never played "dare you touch the fence" as a kid...
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RunToEarth said:
They love to look morbid and miserable don't they? Thing is, they never put their hand up to wave to us, or say a cheery good morning. I know it is their divide right to walk these footpaths in this weather but they could at least acknowledge the lengths we go to, to keep access open. I have a right to see my GP but I'm still pleasant to him when I go in!
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I say hello!! Me and the BF do quite a bit of walking when the weather is nice. We always say hello if we see anyone - the farmer, other walkers, anyone ;p

Sort of along the lines of the OP, something popped up on my FB newsfeed the other day. You know when it say "X liked such and such". It was a pic of a local estate which I'd guess people have been using as a footpath or been walking their dogs all around the fields, but without right of way/ permission. Said estate have now put up padlocked gates, fences and lots of signs saying it is private property with NO ROW, no footpath, and asking people not to walk dogs on the land because it is private. The photo was then followed by comments from the irate public stating that they didn't care if it was private, I've always walk my dogs there, I'll just climb the fence and carry on using it, who are they to stop me, I can go wherever I like. Erm, no, not if there isn't a ROW and you don't have permission. I so wanted to reply and ask how they would feel if people started walking all around their garden without permission, just because they wanted to? But wasn't worth getting into the argument.
 
I live two miles up a forestry track and the glares that I get sometimes when I have to drive past walkers (very politely) could turn you to stone!! They don't seem to grasp the idea that people do live in remote areas and can't lug ten bags of horse feed home on foot!
 
Penny Less said:
Must admit that on my first recent foray into London I had no idea about using the in/out ticket machines, always used to be a man punching tickets on the gate last time I went! Also don't know about Oyster cards etc.
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I live in London but if I ever have to travel on the tube into Central London I get panic attacks about the ticket machines, the 'in and out' machines and also the choice of exits at some of the central London stations, there's often three or four to chose from. And London, being London, you can't hesitate or stop for a second :frown3::frown3:. It really is a rat race!
 
I live in a small market town surrounded by gorgeous countryside-- some of it NT-- somewhat near a mainline rail station to London. Co-workers are all amazed that I do not like going to London and am happy to putter around on the lanes and in the countryside-- pre recent horse acquisition, I did a lot of cycling around the one track lanes and loved seeing all the lovely sights of the changing seasons, the forgotten old Norman churches, the still existent village green where a cricket game was going on. I have to catch a bus to get to the horse yard-- and so was on the way through the town centre to the bus stop, with not entirely clean breeches and boots on, and half chaps. Someone I know stopped and told me how fashionable I looked-- I thought they were having a go, but they were serious. I had a good look around-- and noticed the amount of faux riding fashion all around-- leggings, nearly but not quite riding boot looking boots, etc. My half chaps for just a moment made me fashion forward I guess! :eek:
 
bumper said:
This thread has made me chuckle :)
I live in the far west of Cornwall, so do see a lot of tourists in the summer. The funniest thing is their grasp of the back lanes..if you haven't been here, they are narrow and bordered by high Cornish hedging, sometimes wide enough to allow two cars to pass each other, sometimes with passing places. The visitors often have no idea how wide their car actually is, so flinch madly when you pass them (their faces are hilarious), and quite often have no reversing skills. Reversing is compulsory, sometimes for many many yards, to get back to a suitable passing place. I have a friend who delivers fresh fish from the Newlyn fish markets to local restaurants, and he has told me of the many times he has actually had to get out of his van and reverse somebody's car FOR them.
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My grandparents were Cornish and used to run a B&B in St Ives. One day a guest came back from his day out enthusing about the great roads - saying that the single-lane one way system was fantastic because you could drive fast without worrying about something coming the other way!! :eek:
 
Cowpony said:
My grandparents were Cornish and used to run a B&B in St Ives. One day a guest came back from his day out enthusing about the great roads - saying that the single-lane one way system was fantastic because you could drive fast without worrying about something coming the other way!! :eek:
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Oh lord ............... :eek3::eek3:
 
Oh, oh, I've just remembered a classic also from my grantparents' days - the local butcher came across a dead owl on the road, so for a joke hung it up in his shop. An old lady, who ran a B&B, came in and asked to buy the "square-faced chicken". The butcher told her it wasn't a chicken it was owl. (The next bit you need to read in a Cornish accent). The old lady said "I don't care how owl it is, it'll do for the visitors.":D
 
Suechoccy said:
This thread makes me sad. The "them" and "us". It is sad that so many people receive an education which gives them no knowledge of how or why the countryside functions, what makes it work or why it is important to preserve it, and the value the countryside environment brings to humankind and how precious it is.
Everyone will dig deep into their pockets for deforestation in the amazon rainforest charities but a little more understanding and commitment to protecting and knowing our own local UK forests and countryside wouldn't go amiss. (floodplains, housebuilding, HS2, etc).
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You're so right (although I think the rain forests are mega important!).

I'm country born and bred, and have spent some time commuting to London. I think I can hold my own in both rural and urban environments, it's just a case of having an open mind and being willing to learn.

There is a bit of smugness about this thread that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Right, now I'm putting on my flippers and snorkel and venturing out into the lakes that used to be fields. I've issued the horses with water wings and switched the lorry to ark mode!
 
PolarSkye said:
Back when I worked in the corporate world and was with a software company whose name begins with "Micro" and ends with "soft" we had an on-site valeting service in the basement of one of our buildings. I used to have to clean the car before I took it to them . . . and pay them extra . . . oh, the shame :(.

P
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Excellent!
 
Slightly Foxed said:
You're so right (although I think the rain forests are mega important!).

I'm country born and bred, and have spent some time commuting to London. I think I can hold my own in both rural and urban environments, it's just a case of having an open mind and being willing to learn.

There is a bit of smugness about this thread that makes me feel uncomfortable.

Right, now I'm putting on my flippers and snorkel and venturing out into the lakes that used to be fields. I've issued the horses with water wings and switched the lorry to ark mode!
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I don't think there is smugness or any malice in the thread. I'm sure the city folk feel the same way with the 'them and us' thing. I have lots of family and friends who think I'm some sort of idiot country person and I'm missing out on the whole city life scene. I may well be but the two lifestyles are so different now that it's virtually impossible for there not to be some sort of divide between rural and city culture/lifestyles/mind set

I think it is supposed to be a fun thread with a bit of mick taking out of ourselves as well as our city counterparts. well I hope that's how it comes across anyway.
 
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