The things non-horsey people say
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Queenjude
Well-Known Member
Ha ha ha I love these!
claribella
Well-Known Member
What makes me laugh the most is when people find out I have a horse and promptly turn around and say 'I love horse riding, I was thinking about getting back into it again, I haven't done it for ages'. I always reply with oh really I can recommend some good riding schools in the area. There face always drops and there's that silence where the tumbleweed blows through. What do they expect though. Oh yeah you come and ride my unpredictable flighty Arab who isn't a complete plod and spooks at most things. I'll pay for her complete upkeep while you and all of your mates come and ride her like a beach donkey without giving me a penny. Theres no need to go to riding a school where you will be charged twenty five pound an hour for lessons, when you have mugs like me around. Also yeah of course I can give you a lesson shouting commands at you in the pouring rain whilst you pull her mouth apart and I get pneumonia. Oh and by the way if you fall off then yeah of course you can sue me that's no problem. Some people.......
FionaM12
Well-Known Member
A friend of mine came to see Mollie during the winter in her new stable and asked where the heating was. 
jumpthemoon
Well-Known Member
The two things I always get asked by people are 'does the horse need looking after EVERY day? Won't it be ok if you just leave it for a few days?'
And 'you don't need lessons, surely? You can ride!'
Oh's dad regularly refers to any comps, either jumping or dressage, as gymkhanas as well, which drives me nuts!
And 'you don't need lessons, surely? You can ride!'
Oh's dad regularly refers to any comps, either jumping or dressage, as gymkhanas as well, which drives me nuts!
Nicnac
Well-Known Member
"what make is your horse?"
"She's a Friesian"
"oh so, she's part cow - I thought they were always black and white but yours is just black"
OR my mother:
"how do you get your horse into the vets? It's only got a normal door...."
OH windsurfs, so stirrups are 'straps' and tacking up is 'rigging' whilst untacking is 'de-rigging'
"She's a Friesian"
"oh so, she's part cow - I thought they were always black and white but yours is just black"
OR my mother:
"how do you get your horse into the vets? It's only got a normal door...."
OH windsurfs, so stirrups are 'straps' and tacking up is 'rigging' whilst untacking is 'de-rigging'
FionaM12
Well-Known Member
In a junk shop a few days ago I saw two very old, worn non-stainless-steel snaffles labelled:
"Horse mouth training bits £10".
My dad always called tack "tackle".
"Horse mouth training bits £10".
My dad always called tack "tackle".
Nosey
Well-Known Member
My o/h thought counter canter was canter canter!
Guylian
Well-Known Member
Reading all the non-horsey OH ones lol, I don't get that since my OH is as mad for horses as I am
TheBayMonkey
Well-Known Member
Mum calls canter gallop, so everybody thinks I'm a stereotypical teenager who does nothing but gallop round the arena.. And I've had the "does he need looking after everyday? Can't someone else look after him on Christmas day?" Erm no he needs to be looked after everyday and I make it a point to spend as much time with him on christmas day so I don't have to be in the house with everybody ba humbug!
ba humbug! Walrus
Well-Known Member
My favourite was hacking through the village a man commented on how quiet the pony was (he's one of only 2 without shoes that go out hacking from our yard). I said that it was because he didn't wear shoes and the man said yes he'd noticed his paws didn't have shoes on!
WE've also had lots of people point at his feet and comment on his ankles out hacking, pony is a fell with masses of feather and I then put high viz bands on his legs so he does look slightly ridiculous!
WE've also had lots of people point at his feet and comment on his ankles out hacking, pony is a fell with masses of feather and I then put high viz bands on his legs so he does look slightly ridiculous!
Luci07
Well-Known Member
How old is your horse? (one is 24)" oh....how long do they live?,( thanks!)
Yes to whole "can't you ride yet? Why are you still having lessons?" and " I rode when I was 5 and would like to do it again" (both horses are quite big so that normally stops the conversation"
Or when I was on DIY, fretting about getting away on time so I could put my boy to bed. Turns out they thought I was a particularly whacky parent calling my " son" ....Spot!
Or best one.... " do you ride after work" me "yes, we have a school with lights" colleague " they let you ride your horse in the school? Surely that will wreck the floor"
Silenced on that one.
Yes to whole "can't you ride yet? Why are you still having lessons?" and " I rode when I was 5 and would like to do it again" (both horses are quite big so that normally stops the conversation"
Or when I was on DIY, fretting about getting away on time so I could put my boy to bed. Turns out they thought I was a particularly whacky parent calling my " son" ....Spot!
Or best one.... " do you ride after work" me "yes, we have a school with lights" colleague " they let you ride your horse in the school? Surely that will wreck the floor"
Silenced on that one.
Fransurrey
Well-Known Member
The most obvious one hasn't been said
Or maybe its just that I get asked it too much..
for example, there is a 12hh pony at the fields and as it is a public footpath through the fields, i often talk to the walkers when I See them
walker : so is he a horse or a pony?
me: He's a pony because hes smaller than a horse
walker: awwww, bless him- how old is he then?
me: 24 i think,
walker: what on earth? Then how can he be a PONY?! surely he is a horse at 24?!?!
me: *mental facepalm* No no, a foal is a baby horse or pony- a pony is a smaller horse, it is based on height
walker: Oh.. i wondered why he hadn't grown up.
I dont know why but i seem to find this far too often.. :S
Come across this a few times myself. I was once stopped on a hack by a guy who must have been nearly 40. Very similar conversation to yours, in which he asked whether 'it' was a horse or pony (answer: pony) and then asked how old (16 at the time). This was followed by 'When will he become a horse?'. Also mental facepalm (or head desk!) and I explained that as a 16yr old, he was quite grown and would always be a pony. He got it finally, when I asked if he had considered putting his kids into the London Marathon when they were 5? No? Really?
Another favourite was the numerous people who asked me if Henry's companion was his foal (both geldings, with one being a shetland and Henry being exmoor). D'oh!
Fransurrey
Well-Known Member
And I've had the "does he need looking after everyday? Can't someone else look after him on Christmas day?" Erm no he needs to be looked after everyday and I make it a point to spend as much time with him on christmas day so I don't have to be in the house with everybody
Have had this many times. In reply I say that no, I don't visit on Christmas day. I call them up at the field and tell them to get their own dinner.
Four white socks
Well-Known Member
Doesn't matter how many times I tell my other half it's a rug, not a coat, he still insists on getting it wrong!
zobags
Member
My sister calls them coats, she also wanted to buy a numnah "to keep her belly warm" and the best one "why on earth do horses need leg warmers" - they were brushing boots
DH1
Well-Known Member
One of my favourites from a lovely livery (mature in years) on our old Yard;
B "Your horse is on heat again"
Me "Oh OK"
B " I wish she wasn't, is there anything you can do? She keeps on having Organisms near my horse"
I never did have the heart to correct her.
B "Your horse is on heat again"
Me "Oh OK"
B " I wish she wasn't, is there anything you can do? She keeps on having Organisms near my horse"
I never did have the heart to correct her.
Shantara
Well-Known Member
Someone has thought Ned was my boyfriend!!
I do like to blabber on about how much I love him and how gorgeous I think he is
mirage
Well-Known Member
I had to explain that my daughter couldn't attend a Brownie function as we were going to the Point to Point.Brown Owl asked me if I was riding in it.......
My daughter was being bullied by a girl at school and after we bought Knobberpony,it mysteriously stopped and she was as nice as pie.I had my suspicioins about this,which were confirmed when I saw the mother of the bully at a party and she was all over me,asking how our new pony was,how her daughter had riding lessons and wouldn't it be wonderful if she could come over and ride Knobberpony? I replied that it wouldn't be 'wonderful' for the pony,that she wasn't a riding school pony and that having different people riding her would do her no good at all. She hasn't mentioned it since and gives me a wide berth now,which suits me fine.
My daughter was being bullied by a girl at school and after we bought Knobberpony,it mysteriously stopped and she was as nice as pie.I had my suspicioins about this,which were confirmed when I saw the mother of the bully at a party and she was all over me,asking how our new pony was,how her daughter had riding lessons and wouldn't it be wonderful if she could come over and ride Knobberpony? I replied that it wouldn't be 'wonderful' for the pony,that she wasn't a riding school pony and that having different people riding her would do her no good at all. She hasn't mentioned it since and gives me a wide berth now,which suits me fine.
StarlightMagic
Well-Known Member
Shocked noone has mentioned the look of confusion when you say your horse is green!!!
skipper
Well-Known Member
My boyfriend comes out with some crackers. He's had a sit on my horse before and they did a very gentle jog (it barely qualified as a trot!) He came back, very excitedly asking me if he'd galloped just then.
He's also refers to rugs as coats and thinks I'm thoroughly cruel for turning the boys out in the rain. I think one of my favourites though was when he asked if he could come and watch when I "go to the next gymkhana" :lol: I said he was more than welcome to come and watch me compete but a 16hh horse and a 20 year old me would probably look slightly incongruous amongst all the little kids and their whizzy ponies competing in the mounted games and attempting handy pony. Not gonna lie though...horse and I would love it! Lol!
My other (now retired) horse is an ex-racehorse and if non-horsey people ever ask about him and I tell them this they'll invariably ask "Oh right, so did you ride him in races then? Would I have seen you two on the TV?" Umm...no...and no...sorry to disappoint.
He's also refers to rugs as coats and thinks I'm thoroughly cruel for turning the boys out in the rain. I think one of my favourites though was when he asked if he could come and watch when I "go to the next gymkhana" :lol: I said he was more than welcome to come and watch me compete but a 16hh horse and a 20 year old me would probably look slightly incongruous amongst all the little kids and their whizzy ponies competing in the mounted games and attempting handy pony. Not gonna lie though...horse and I would love it! Lol!
My other (now retired) horse is an ex-racehorse and if non-horsey people ever ask about him and I tell them this they'll invariably ask "Oh right, so did you ride him in races then? Would I have seen you two on the TV?" Umm...no...and no...sorry to disappoint.
emma.is
Well-Known Member
Hacking with a friend who has a feathered cob and two boys ask her what she's stuck on her ponies legs and then something about Ugg boots! Tickled us for the rest of the ride
Karran
Well-Known Member
All grey horses to my bf are shadowfax's. Now he's seen warhorse all brown/bays with white facial markings are 'warhorse' too. I despair.
Dubsie
Well-Known Member
We have a fine-boned 13.2 arab x show pony, aged 22. Most strangers say 'when he grows up will he be as big as the other one?' - the other being a very hairy chunky 14.1h New Forest aged 8!
Abz88
Well-Known Member
The most recent ones which made me giggle were actaully last weekend. I went out for a pub ride and there were a couple of kids there interested in my girly and asked LOTS of questions!
The best one being 'So,...where are the blue lights so you can go out when it's dark for the bad people?' totally confused at first I soon realised the kid assumed she was a police horse (in her full Polite set) and so what do police cars have?! I have to say I laughed quite a bit before pulling myself together and saying she wasn't a police horse and that we dont ride in the dark and deffinatley didnt have blue flashing lights anywhere! (but the image it created was fantastic!) The same child once a bit braver was looking/playing with her reins and picked up the 'stoppers' (dont actaully know the real term!) and said 'just like a aeroplane' I said I had never heard them be called that, but it is their new name! Kid also didn't think horses had teeth and that the entire hoof was infact metal and told me she has all rusty feet (dry mud!)
More worryingly, the OH didn't know until quite recently that horses do not eat meat and has also recently found out that horses mault,......a lot(!!) and that geldings wont make my girly pregnant!!! There have been lots more similar comments from him, but those spring to mind!
The best one being 'So,...where are the blue lights so you can go out when it's dark for the bad people?' totally confused at first I soon realised the kid assumed she was a police horse (in her full Polite set) and so what do police cars have?! I have to say I laughed quite a bit before pulling myself together and saying she wasn't a police horse and that we dont ride in the dark and deffinatley didnt have blue flashing lights anywhere! (but the image it created was fantastic!) The same child once a bit braver was looking/playing with her reins and picked up the 'stoppers' (dont actaully know the real term!) and said 'just like a aeroplane' I said I had never heard them be called that, but it is their new name! Kid also didn't think horses had teeth and that the entire hoof was infact metal and told me she has all rusty feet (dry mud!)
More worryingly, the OH didn't know until quite recently that horses do not eat meat and has also recently found out that horses mault,......a lot(!!) and that geldings wont make my girly pregnant!!! There have been lots more similar comments from him, but those spring to mind!
Suelin
Well-Known Member
PMSL @ the dead horse comment
I knew someone that tried worming a horse via rectum as 'thats where the worms come out'
Noooooo!! Surely not!!!!!! LMAO!!
Abz88
Well-Known Member
AHAHAH thats brilliant!!! if all else fails...pelt it with carrots
HA HA HA - brilliant. My dad is also useless. I remember years and years ago I was riding a very ploddy cob (known at the yard for being fat, dumb and lazy - but very sweet natured) in a little local show (clear round jumping) and I asked my dad to hold him while I went to walk the course. He was NOT happy with this idea at all, but, took the reins. When I came back there was my dad,....no pony!!
Me - 'DAD!!! Where did you put him?!?!'
Dad - 'He started running away,....so I put him over there...'
Turns out he MOVED as in a step, my Dad paniced (as he was going to be surely dragged around the yard) and tied him in some fashion to someones range rover wing mirror!!!!!!!
Cobi
Well-Known Member
These are brilliant!! Love them, my most recent one was a friend asked why i felt the need to be late for a party as i had been with the horses, (not mine, help at RS) she said that surely theyd be fine for a few days on their own!!! I was so shocked i couldnt even answer!
FreddiesGal
Well-Known Member
On telling my boyfriend i have a 26 year old pony his reply was "woah! she must be ginormous by now". He genuinely thought horses got bigger with age
ChinaTree
Well-Known Member
Quite sad reall, but used to keep pony near a camp site, between the camp site and the sea. Tourists stopped just outside the field one day
Tourist: "Excuse me, but what are those animals? They don't look like cows, but that's the closest I can think of"
Me: "ummm... their ponies"
Tourist looked confused.
Me: "small horses"
Tourist: "oh, horses? I've never seen a horse before! And what did you call them? Pennies?"
Me: "ponies"
Tourist: "oh, thank you" wandered back to car looking confused
Saw the same tourist whilst out hacking, and tourist anounced proudly to their kids "look, it's one of the pennies I told you about!"
kid replied "it's a cow dad!"
I hope they were winding me up, but they seemed completely serious!
Tourist: "Excuse me, but what are those animals? They don't look like cows, but that's the closest I can think of"
Me: "ummm... their ponies"
Tourist looked confused.
Me: "small horses"
Tourist: "oh, horses? I've never seen a horse before! And what did you call them? Pennies?"
Me: "ponies"
Tourist: "oh, thank you" wandered back to car looking confused
Saw the same tourist whilst out hacking, and tourist anounced proudly to their kids "look, it's one of the pennies I told you about!"
kid replied "it's a cow dad!"
I hope they were winding me up, but they seemed completely serious!