The things non-horsey people say

puffthemagicpony

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this post has had me crying with laughter :')

ok here's mine.

my friend came down to the yard and asked me if i wanted her to fill the hay baskets, and my dad insisted on calling them hay balls. when i take my horses to the field, there's some kids next door and they all gather to watch, and shout things like "i like the brown one!" "i like the black one with the jacket!" once i was in a tack shop with a friend and she said excitedly "oh look you can buy pyjamas for them!"
 

puffthemagicpony

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just thought of some more.

i had my two mares in one big stable together for a while, an 8 year old 15.2 and a 22 year old 12.2 and a little girl went running up to her mum shouting "mummy theres a mare and foal over there!"

once a guy was asking me if i had a horse and i said i had a pony, he said how old is it, i said 11, and he said with a smirk "well, he's not really a pony anymore is he?" i was stunned, he was so smug about it!
 

puffthemagicpony

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last one honest.

i told someone i do dressage and they said what's that like dressing up and stuff? xD

i told a horsey person i do BYRDS and they said oh do you show them? show what? birds! this was someone claiming to be into dressage. o_O
 

Archiepoo

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my YO gives lessons occasionally and we had a married couple come once and as the horses were very well schooled and not riding school type plods we started them on the lead rein ,the woman told me not to bother clipping the rope on as she could handle a horse as she had been treking once about 10 years before:eek:
 

GoodysMummy

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this thread has me crying :')

like most tb owners all i ever get is 'will i be seeing you at the races this week?' and 'can i bet on him?! does he RUN fast?'

leaves me tickled :D
 

chaps89

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I've been going out with a guy since October, he'd had no previous horsey experience (city boy through & through) In February when we had that cold spell, I had the vet out for vaccinations.
My horse was so disgustingly dirty I washed his mane & tail.
I mentioned it to my boyfriend later as his tail had started to freeze by the time the vets got there (did feel a tad guilty!)
Boyfriends comment was 'Poor bu@@ger, he'll have had an ice block swinging against his knackers all day'
I had to explain then what a gelding and a stallion is and that my lad unfortunately has no 'knackers' anymore by comparing it to his 8 month old puppy who was going through a (pre castration) phase of humping people and how it would be a bit more scarey if it was a Phoenix sized creature doing that! He was really quite shocked bless him.

On the other hand, he's since had a go on Phoenix, can bring in, change rugs, groom (sort of), pick feet out, put tie rings up, stack hay deliveries, fill haynets & feed and is picking it all up frighteningly quickly- he even asked this morning if the horses were still 'spooked' after yesterday mornings antics in the field- I was quite impressed at the correct terminology used there!
 

PingPongPony

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this thread is great :D

My friend was speaking to one of the girls 'know-it-all' step mum, she used to have horses, or so she claims and she was going on about how she buys the girl expensive sj lessons every week with a top show jumper. When asked whats the persons name, she said 'oh i can't remember exactly and i don't want to give you the wrong one, i have their card somewhere thou' and then when asked what grade is the top show jumper she said 'ummmmm, what do you mean' so friend said 'well is the person grade a, b, c or maybe they compete trailblazers?' to that the woman went 'oh right, yes yes he's done all of the grades as a child, thats history, now he's competeing at the top level of trailblazers' :rolleyes:

we have a girl at our yard that has got her first horse and is completely cluless, she was talking to her granny and was being asked what they eat and sleep on and if you have to take all of the bedding out every day etc. to which girl replies 'tbh gran i don't know, i know thay eat hay and sleep on straw but which one is which and whats the difference i have no idea' :confused:

the same girl again, muddy field after rain, bit of sunshine comes out, girl turns her horse out in a fleece because ''its not raining so she doesnt need the other rug'' horse rolls in the biggest muddiest puddle of course :D

the same girl, saw me and other liveries putting a couple of supplements on the horses feeds, so thinks she needs to use them too, spotted my hibi scrub, poured some into horses feed a couple of days, i went to use hibi scrub, not much left, i didn't know that she took it and never gave her permition to, she was wondering why her horse wasn't eating the feeds, they stank of hibi scrub, clever horse!

convinced mum to try riding. she gets on, ''oh this is actualy quite nice'' horse starts walking very very slowly ''oh no, its all moving, where do i hold on?!'' ''to the saddle mum'' ''but thats moving too!!!!''
needless to say that she didn't take up riding, but at least she tried to understand why i'm so obsessed :D

me and my friend are out at a training session, i have matchy matchy red she has matchy matchy blue, i'm riding my 16hh grey and she's riding her 14hh grey. a little girl comes up and goes ''mummy mummy mummy, look! mummy pony and baby pony! they even grew different colours on them!'' lol :D

i will probably think of a few more soon :)
 
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Qru

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This random man was wandering round our yard the other day, and as I was taking my boy out we had this funny little convo:

Man(he was foreign): You can ride this horse?
Me: Errrr yes
Man: So I can ride him, yes?
Me: Well, no, you're a bit too big (this guy was rather overweight and my boy is an extremely slim TB)
Man: I will loose weight and then ride him, yes?

Well yes ofcourse, please just jump right on.
My friend was also leading her horse out of it's stable, when he took the lead rein off her, gave her his camera and told her to take a picture. He then promptly tried to get on him from the ground.
 
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Not so much what non-horsey folks say, but... A fellow yardie once told the story of how she'd asked her OH to fill a haynet for her whilst she was mucking out and eventually had to go and seek him out because he'd been so long - apparently he hadn't realised that the haynet opens at the top and he didn't actually need to poke the hay in, bit by bit, through the holes... True! :D


:D:D:D:D ahaha hahaha ha ha you have actually made me laugh out loud!!!
 

michelleyork

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I went to the South View show a couple of weekends ago with the horse and rang my very non horsey husband up once I had arrived safely and unloaded horse into stable and sorted lorry out etc...
The husband then said how was Party and would he settle in the lorry ok for the weekend?? Very long silence followed before I asked him 'do you think that Party is using the lorry as a stable??' Husband was convinced that the horse was staying in the lorry for the weekend - bit strange as I had brought up a friends horse as well and my lorry is only a 7.5t, takes 3 and has living - FOR HUMANS!!!
 

wilde2

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Call to husband from work as he was doing the horses that morning - I asked him not to forget the sun block.
Colleague asks me - so where do you get the sun block from then?
Me - Errr - Boots normally.
Wow - you must have to buy hundreds of bottles, and it must take ages to put it all on....I then had to explain that it was only his nose that needed it, went of chuckling at the idea of covering their coats everyday in gallons of sun block!
 

PingPongPony

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another slightly stupid moment at yard with the clueless girl.
She bought her horse a fly veil, next thing we see is the horse running around with just a fly veil on in the field, not even a headcollar with it. the fly veil didn't stay there for long :rolleyes: we then put fly rugs and masks on our horses, she comes up and asks what those mask thingys are for and why do we want to blind our horses :rolleyes:
 

liss1987

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The most obvious one hasn't been said :p

Or maybe its just that I get asked it too much..

for example, there is a 12hh pony at the fields and as it is a public footpath through the fields, i often talk to the walkers when I See them

walker : so is he a horse or a pony?
me: He's a pony because hes smaller than a horse
walker: awwww, bless him- how old is he then?
me: 24 i think,
walker: what on earth? Then how can he be a PONY?! surely he is a horse at 24?!?!
me: *mental facepalm* No no, a foal is a baby horse or pony- a pony is a smaller horse, it is based on height
walker: Oh.. i wondered why he hadn't grown up.

I dont know why but i seem to find this far too often.. :S

i get this one a lot!! :D
 

emalou2

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When saying I needed to worm my horse people at work thought for some reason I was going to put my arm up her backside like James Herriot! 😳
 

Hedwards

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My dad has always called a martingale a manglefile...

After watching me jump big courses as a child, and knowing I'd lost my confidence and entered a very small clear round class years later - my dad asked if that was the warm up and when would i start the competition!

I was told by my mum that using spurs is cruel (they were rollerball spurs I had on at the time!), and wouldnt i poke holes in my horses skin...

Regularly get the 'why do i need lessons, dont i know how to ride yet?' question

And just today a friend said she'd seen a pony with its bits out and was amazed how big it is!
 

PolarSkye

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My husband believed that when owners said a horse was lame that meant it was so broken that it needed to be shot . . . no word of a lie and he assures me that other non-horsey people also believe the same thing!

OH (completely non-horsey in case you hadn't guessed) calls Kal's rugs his "jumpers" or his "coats" and is genuinely astonished that a horse might need to see a dentist.

P
 

alfielola05

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hobbling about the office due to a horribly bruised bum, courtesy of my little monster pulling one of her speed up to a fence and then stop and let me do the jumping tricks, a collegue said; jeez, im suprised you fell off your horse, i thought could ride
 

PingPongPony

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non-horsey but animal related :)
my friend has a girl labrador, she's not been 'done' so when she's 'on' they put a pair of old pants on her with a hole for her tail. Funniest moment ever, her dad lets the dog outside and notices that she's still got the pants on and starts shouting down the garden ''oi, come here you b*tch!! i haven't taken your knickers off yet''.:D i can only imagine what the neighbours must have been thinking :rolleyes::D
 

muff747

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Ye - this is a great thread:D

A male work colleague was telling me how he had progressed to doing rising trot on his lessons and how he had learnt about parallels (diagonals):D

I had a black crocheted ear/fly hood on my horse out on a hack. I heard a passerby out on a walk comment - ooo look, it's got dreadlocks :D

My little grandson was having a go riding a shetland on a saddle with missing stirrups. He kept slipping to one side so I went and found some stirrups.
Someone saw him riding and said "Ooo look at you riding" to which he replied " yea and it's much better now with the stabalisers on":D

The old farmer used to use the pony to pull a "scruffler" between his cabbages to hoe the weeds and the driving bridle had "blinders" on it
 
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my bfg

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loving this thread!

once hurt my arm so roped bro into unloading some feed bags from my car, had some pallets with hay on in the spare stable so when he asked where i wanted the bags put i replied "oh just pop them on ems pallets cheers", he looked at me in shock then asked " is that where she sleeps then?" told him yes and that i "stored" her on a pallet at night so it left room in the stable for the wheelbarrow he replied "oh right" and carried on lol :)
 

KatieCOB

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My 7 year old cousin came down to the yard and 'helped' me turn Samson out. Once that was done she asked me what that pink thing hanging from his belly was. For the life of me I couldn't think what she was talking about. . . . belly?. . . . pink thing? It dawned on me it was his willy. :p
 

Ladyinred

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loving this thread!

once hurt my arm so roped bro into unloading some feed bags from my car, had some pallets with hay on in the spare stable so when he asked where i wanted the bags put i replied "oh just pop them on ems pallets cheers", he looked at me in shock then asked " is that where she sleeps then?" told him yes and that i "stored" her on a pallet at night so it left room in the stable for the wheelbarrow he replied "oh right" and carried on lol :)

Brilliant!
 

gooster

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Love this thread!

When I first got Blue, I was speaking to my mum on the phone and she said "if ever you need any help mucking up, I'll come up and help"... I think she meant mucking out, Blue can muck up his stable perfectly well without any help. Just over 4 years on and she's a pro at it, having spent 2 years mucking up every wednesday for me when I work a late shift!
 

Caol Ila

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(now) ex-boyfriend: Look at this CGI'd YouTube clip of a horse dancing to music. It's hilarious. It looks so real.

Me: It is real, you eejit. That's a dressage horse doing a Grand Prix freestyle (the clip in question was Blu Hors Matinee doing her thing at the WEG).

Ex: But you do dressage and it doesn't look anything like that!
 

teasle

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One day while out riding I got talking to a lady who was walking her dogs. The lady loooked at my horses freeze mark and said" Are all horses born with numbers and letters on them?".
 

Wozpril

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Classics from my non horsey partner.... Straw bags, instead of hay nets, says my 14.3 looks like a smart - car, he's used to seeing police horses and can't get over me having a 'tiny little one' , calls hooves nails, rugs jackets, and the usual "why would you clip all their fur off on the winter?? It's far to cold, do it on the summer instead!" oh, and in the very early days..... " is that horse mooing???
 
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