The whelks strike back

This just gets better & better. Starzaan I think u should slam the lid down and turn up the heat if you let one of em get away with it next thing you know they'll be an uprising, thousands of whelks fighting back lol
 
Starzaan said:
PS:

Very Fit Man Whelk didn't make it. I had him on toast yesterday morning. He tasted disgusting.

It was like eating an old man's shoe.
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sniff, sniff

ah well, plenty more whelks in the sea...


Now put me back whelkgod damn you, or i shall smite thee down

P.S. I am not above a little bribery and corruption, I can get you 1 dozen oysters, their souls are far better than mine and will help you in your ploy with FF, who should you release me I will let live. You must however, promise never ever to harm another whelk again in your life or I will hunt you down and turn you into fish bait, and on the FF topic, having watched you practicing your smooching tequniques with your reflection could I suggest a little less tongues, slobber is really not attractive, and dear do not let him see your horns (not a good look);)

Do we have a deal or is it fight to your death?

 
JessandCharlie said:
We are normal on this forum, aren't we?

Good luck Whelk :D
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Camp whelk for you:D

thank you to all my supporters, I will survive this and live to see the sea another day I promise.


Ooops, here she comes, I think she's going to take the computer away from me...


Please don't, I promise I'll behave...
 
genius... diet coke on the keyboard... just tried explaining it... tears of laughter....

Go whelk... run and save yourself!!!

xx
 
Dear Whelk,

I don't like seafood, so getting me a bucket full of oysters won't help save your little whelk self....


You know that the puppy likes water? How would you feel if I put the bucket on the floor.... death by Great Dane may ensue...


Lots of love,

Starzaan
 
I'm back,

She put me in a pot, completely on my own with water and some stuff called wine, it started to get warm... she was going to eat me:eek::eek:

I slithered out of the pot and very quietly out of the kitchen which was hard, you may not know this but us whelks are so beautiful it is very very hard to not be noticed on top of that I was hiccuping, it may be the wine because I have seen her huccup when she drinks it:D:D However, I was lucky, she was engrossed debating sausage size at the kitchen table and seeing which was the largest sausage she could eat, 'she was saying something about having to be prepared for the day FF was hers??:;) I do hope they are not whlk sausages:eek::eek::eek:

Anyhow, I am now slithering the keys to bring this to you, I was going to make a break for freedom but am quite tired tonight so will try again tomorrow, besides I quite like you all (apart from the eeevil whelk soul sucking sea witch) On my way here I made 2 new friends. The first is a spider called cyril, he has his own house like I do although his is not a shell, he calls it a web and he made it himself. It is built across one of the drawers in the eeeevil sea witches room, the drawer has a sticker and a padlock on it, the sticker says 'new sexy undies: do not open unless on a 100% promise with FF' Cyril says he has lived where he is all his life and has never had to rebuild his home because the drawer has never been opened, If I had a whelk nose I would have snorted down it... cyril is a very old spider. He has offered to crawl into the sea witches mouth if she is mean to me again and does not let me go, I told him thank you and I would consider it. My other friend is Freddie cyril says he is called a fly or dinner (I do not know what either means but cyril says they mean the same thing) Freddie doen't talk much, he is sleeping, cyril has made him a snuggly sleeping bag so he can stay at his, I like cyril, he is a really nice spider.:D
 
Dear Jesstickle,

That was a THREAT, don't make me cut the stuffing out of your pillow! You're supposed to be quaking with fear.

Lots of love (madlesbiany)

Starzaan.
 
Starzaan said:
Dear Whelk,

I don't like seafood, so getting me a bucket full of oysters won't help save your little whelk self....


You know that the puppy likes water? How would you feel if I put the bucket on the floor.... death by Great Dane may ensue...


Lots of love,

Starzaan
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dear soul sucking sea witch,

I don't like dogs, and I am certain that if you do that to me you great dane will not like seafood cause I will stick in his throat, I have however made friends with your great dane today and he reassures me that he/she will piddle on your leg and in those rubber things you call wellies if you try that;)

Following that you will forever be doing sloshy welly dances. Ha Ha Ha Ha!!;)
 
Dear Whelk,

If you had made friends with Gollum surely you'd know that he's a boy? Are all whelks incredibly stupid?

I'm going to slash you up like a bitch...


Lots of love,

Starzaan.
 
Starzaan said:
Dear Whelk

I'm going to come at you like a violent quiche.

Lots of love

Starzaan.
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dear soul sucker, catch me if you can... I am not in the bucket or the boiling pot you put me in... I am wreaking havoc in your house, I am clever and cunning and you will never find me:p:p:p I don't think your Great Dane is trained as a sniffer dog is it?:confused:

oh, what flavoured violent quiche? I have heard that the cheese and tomato violent quiches aren't really violent afterall, just misunderstood. I am a member of the MVQ (misunderstood Violent Quiches club, I don't think they would be happy to hear you are impresonating them ;);)
 
Dear Whelk,

I am a whelk quiche. Who is going to suck out your eyeballs and blow through the holes.

Lots of love,

Starzaan
 
Starzaan said:
Dear Whelk,

If you had made friends with Gollum surely you'd know that he's a boy? Are all whelks incredibly stupid?

I'm going to slash you up like a bitch...


Lots of love,

Starzaan.
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touche;) I was going to plumb for boy but eered on the side of caution...

right, back into character:

Heeeeeelp, crazy mad evil whelk soul sucking psycho on the loose with kitchen knife aaaarrrrrgh!!!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

FFS some one get her FF to sh*g her and sort her out!

Really evil witch, all this pent up frustration is getting you nowhere, it is very unhealthy;);)
 
Rowenna said:
whelk, when you write your book (which is a compulsory MUST!) if i proof read it, edit it and do the photoshoot for the cover.......can i get a mention? i'm fame seeking see.....
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course you can, you are my friend:D

Now theres an idea, I could write my version of the story on one side of the book (which would be the truth);)
and it could be one of those books where you turn it upside down and back to front to read the other story....

the evil soul suckers story (which would ofcourse be lies, but I would admit that it would make for veeerrry entertaining reading:D)
 
jodie3 said:
Who is playing Whelk in Starzaan the Movie?
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daaarling, it is the whelk the movie, a wonderful tale of survival and heroism (from whelk) Starzaan is going to be in my movie.

I will of course be an eye catching beauty (probably played by myself)
http://www.caseashells.com/images/seashells/large/aw_atlanticwhelk.gif

Starzaan will of course be like this seeing as she sucks souls
http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/scream-2.jpg


but having watched her now for a few days I will conceed that deep down she is a lovely person (shall we say 12 feet down);)
 
My apologies Whelk, my post should of course have read 'who is playing the part of Whelk in Whelk the movie, with a cameo appearance by Starzaan as herself'

Can I eat some scallops now?
 
Whelk!

I have worked it all out!!! I've seen the same thing on a scooby doo movie when they all went to spooky island!!

Your friends souls are still there, they are all in another big pot that Starzaan is keeping, then using an ancient artifact (horseshoe I think) she will transfer the souls into herself, becoming almighty and powerful with HUGE muscles and big scary teeth and then GET ff at last AND RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have to stop her, now! In the movie they swung from the roof a bit, used a huge disco ball, did some weird dancing, a bit of karate, and then, most importantly, Kicked the pot of souls over so they can fly around back to their bodies!!!!!!!!

Easy peasy lemon squeezy!!! Job done, little whelk souls returned, police turn up from nowhere, Starzaan is nicked for intolerable whelk cruelty and you all live happily ever after. In her house.
With her farrier.
And mechanic.
And ff's friend who doesn't lick the other side of the stamp.
and some sausages.......................................................
 
jodie3 said:
My apologies Whelk, my post should of course have read 'who is playing the part of Whelk in Whelk the movie, with a cameo appearance by Starzaan as herself'

Can I eat some scallops now?
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of course you can, too many scallops in the sea for my liking anyway, eat away!

Oh and apology accepted :D:D
 
Tennessee said:
Whelk!

I have worked it all out!!! I've seen the same thing on a scooby doo movie when they all went to spooky island!!

Your friends souls are still there, they are all in another big pot that Starzaan is keeping, then using an ancient artifact (horseshoe I think) she will transfer the souls into herself, becoming almighty and powerful with HUGE muscles and big scary teeth and then GET ff at last AND RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Just as I thought

You have to stop her, now! In the movie they swung from the roof a bit, used a huge disco ball, did some weird dancing (what like she does in her wellies?, a bit of karate, I can do that and then, most importantly, Kicked the pot of souls over so they can fly around back to their bodies!!!!!!!!

Easy peasy lemon squeezy!!! Job done, little whelk souls returned, police turn up from nowhere, Starzaan is nicked for intolerable whelk cruelty and you all live happily ever after. In her house.
With her farrier.
And mechanic.
And ff's friend who doesn't lick the other side of the stamp.
and some sausages.......................................................
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slithers off to investigate the wherabouts of the other pot...
 
JadeyyAndLadyy said:
I can just imagine Big Brothers narative voice saying "Day 7 in WhelkLand....."
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not just me then!... Day 7 in Whelkland and little whelk has tried to escape....

JessandCharlie said:
We are normal on this forum, aren't we?
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what ever gave you that idea m'dear?


as for the violent quiche... i know just the one... he's lurking in the depths of my fridge. His name is Bertram. He's a trained whelk assassin, but the scallops in my fridge caught him and are holding him captive, so you're safe for a while.

don't worry... I'll whelk, i mean, help you!
 
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