The yard support network

[Greylegs]

Struggled a bit with the title for this one, but it occurred to me recently that the yard isn't just place where we go because our horses happen to live there. At my yard anyway, it's place where friendships are formed and where we go for a bit of social interaction, as well as looking after our horses. Over the years I've been on yards where people have suffered illnesses, bereavements, broken marriages, financial issues, work problems and a host of other personal ups and downs, and it seems like it's always the folks on the yard who are there to pick up the pieces and put us back together again. Or maybe I've just been lucky to be on yards where the people are great, supportive, helpful and full of good advice.

Is it the common bond of having our horses there which brings us together, or are horsey people just the type of people who like to help and support others through a crisis.

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like going to the yard for an hour of two is the remedy to all life's ills?

 

[ihatework]

Definitely - when you have the right yard!
I pretty much grew up on a yard as a teenager / early 20’s that was very social and many of the liveries I still consider good friends.
Not all yards since have been like that though I have to say.
I’m now on another very social and supportive yard and it’s like a breath of fresh air again- I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed that aspect

 

[Sukistokes2]

As a person with my own private yard this is the very thing I think I miss. I did have a couple of liveries on my yard and they were fantastic and I counted them as friends. I did have a young girl who was a pain and neglected her horse. I was glad to see the back of her.

 

[meleeka]

I’m quite a solitary person and not on a yard, but my time with my ponies is sacred to me. I have friends nearby who I enjoy chatting to and my next door neighbour is a good friend. I often wonder how people manage who don’t have an outlet like this.

 

[Littlebear]

I agree, but after many years on yards and a few stings and being diabolical at judging character I am a lot more cautious about how much I let people in! I have my friends I trust and I am super careful about being too friendly with anyone new.

 

[Rowreach]

Hmmm I'm not sure. None of my best friends, who I would be most likely to share things with, are horsey.

Most of the horsey people I know (with some exceptions) are the gobbiest people on the planet. I've one horsey friend who likes to know everything about everyone (on the pretext of being there to help) and promptly tells everyone else!!

 

[milliepops]

Definitely - when you have the right yard!
I pretty much grew up on a yard as a teenager / early 20’s that was very social and many of the liveries I still consider good friends.
Not all yards since have been like that though I have to say.

^^ this

I spent my teens and early 20s on a yard where everyone became part of the family. I stayed at YOs house when my parents went on holiday, that kind of close. I have good friends from there even though some moved away,or gave up horses etc and I left several years ago myself.

Since then, been on a mixture of different yards, a couple were thoroughly lonely and unwelcoming. Current yard is divided and prone to being cliquey which is a shame. When I had the horses at home I did miss the company of being on a yard though.

 

[MuddyMonster]

It's lovely you like your yard so much.

Don't get me wrong, I have good horsey friends but I'm not sure I view my yard as a 'support network'. I've moved yards a bit over the last 18 months for various, mainly un-horsey reasons (changed jobs & moved areas moving house) & I've been on yards of various shapes and sizes & found I didn't miss my yard friends as much as I thought I would.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy hacking with friends when I can, but a yard is where I keep my horse. As long as he's happy & I can ride, I'm happy to just smile & say hello & pass the time of day with people. If I make great friends, then that's great!

I've got some cracking horsey friends I'm close to, but we're not been on the same yards (and some have never been on the same yards) so now just meet up socially.

 

[Winifleur]

Years ago this was the case, but now days round here. Its just not.

 

[tatty_v]

Our yard is fab, and there are nearly 40 of us! Honestly don't know where I'd be without the 'yard girls' - not only do many of them help me with getting pony in, out and sorted (I work crazy hours and we are 100% DIY) but they've been great through the ups and the downs - I remember being horribly ill one Christmas and not only did they sort pony, but they also brought chocolates and a selection of horsey DVDs to cheer me up. I've made some lovely friends and I'm very grateful for the social interaction on the days I work from home!

 

[JFTDWS]

God no. I like getting my horses done in peace. It was nice when I had a friend on the yard to ride with when it suited us both, but I'd still keep odd hours to make sure I had the place to myself most of the time - and they had the freedom to get on with whatever they wanted too.

Now I share my yard with someone who I'm on polite terms with, but I certainly wouldn't turn to them for any form of support or friendship. It really is just a nice place to keep my ponies, for me. I have outside horsey friends I'd turn to if necessary.

 

[Annagain]

My yard is a bit dull compared to most I think! In 15 years, we've only had one long term relationship break up (long term but still young and no kids) and one of the girls has had a kidney transplant, although she managed to get a kidney before she became really ill and she never needed dialysis so was still riding and seeing to the horse before that. There have been four (human) babies in that time too, 3 in 3 years then 12 until the next one!

We're always there to pitch in and support each other though and I do consider them all friends. There are some I spend more time with than others but I'm genuinely fond of all of them. When my friend was having her transplant she was in hospital 9 weeks and out of action for months (luckily in the summer!) and we all had a specific day to look after her horse. Once or twice a week one of us would jump on him and take him out (with her permission of course) so he was ready for her when she was ready to ride.

Even with more minor things, there's always someone to help. My best friend (and share horse's owner) and I moved to the yard together 15 years ago with 3 horses, went down to two and are currently up to 4 (two adorable kids ponies - hers!). We have an arrangement to share the work for all of them. She fractured her knee skiing at Christmas so I've had them all for 6 weeks so far (and counting!). I've always done evenings and friend mornings so the other girls who do mornings have been putting them out. There's not a day gone by when someone hasn't mucked out at least one stable for me, got the ponies in before I've got there or sorted their hay. When the main dual carriageway out of town was closed last week, I had to leave my car in work and catch the train home, then walk to my parents to borrow Dad's car to get to they yard so was an hour and half late getting there. All four boys were mucked out, brought in and given enough hay to see them through. And everyone there works full time like I do.

There's a reason we've been there 15 years. It's not perfect and there are always little niggles (the main one being not great hacking, but nowhere near us has good hacking.) but the people make up for all of them.

 

[ester]

yup, I miss not having the yard a lot. No major life events occurring but just nice people to rant about the day with .

 

[tankgirl1]

My yard is my only other 'safe place' apart from home, and the only place I will go on my own

 

[conkers]

I thought that I was on one of those supportive yards for five years. But it turned out it worked only one way. When I needed a bit of support it just wasn't there. In fact, I was made to feel a nuisance. So I left.
I will never fall for that one again. Its just not worth it.

 

[PapaverFollis]

I've been on yards I thought were supportive, that turned out to very much not be. I think my current yard is a nice supportive environment and people help each other out. But I hardly see anyone cos it's full livery and I think I might be the only livery who goes down every day without fail! So I don't really know anyone well. It's good that there are people around to discuss stuff with sometimes but mostly me and hubby can work out any problems together. Benefits of a OH who is also horsey. Means I can't rant about hubby to anyone though. :lol: (not that I would need to of course :lol

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

My previous yard was really supportive, friendly and I would regularly spend ALL weekend down there, chatting, riding, getting bits done, drinking tea, chatting to others while they did bits, helping the YM do the full livery clients and having a dance to the radio.. It was a really lovely enjoyable place to be, but at the same time, if you made it clear you were in a rush they would give you space too.

The sort of yard where I was sitting at the outside table on the green, in the dark at 9pm at night after a really bad ride, silently having a little tear up, and the YM's partner came out of their onsite caravan, walked across the yard, set down a glass of wine in front of me and said 'you'll be alright'. That has always stuck in my mind.

 

[JennBags]

We have a really lovely yard too, it's a mixture of full and DIYs and a fair few of us have been there for up to 20 years. It's a large yard, about 40 horses but split into 3 so still retains an air of cosiness in each section. We all get on, we socialise together and there's always support, help and advice or a cup of tea and a slice of cake. I feel really sad for people who don't have this, as we spend so much time at the yard, it should be a nice place to go.

 

[Cinnamontoast]

It’s mostly very friendly and supportive where I am. The lady I speak to most is over 70, still rides a bit. My social life used to based around people from the yard but that changed when I moved yards. A friend looked after Beau when I was down with the leg, she did full livery, rode him, looked after him like he was her own. I owe her a huge amount.

I love spending ages fussing with grooming and fluffing his feathers, socialising, having a laugh, although working hours have increased to the point that I often run in, make feeds, run out again. I’m hoping that will change soon.

 

[Caol Ila]

The yard where I spent my teens and came back to for a year and a half after finishing my undergrad degree was like a second family. I'm still friends with many of them. It closed a few years ago and I don't think the horse world will see its like again; it was unique, a place with a real devotion to good horsemanship as well as the social stuff like regular lunches on Sundays after group trail rides and parties and gatherings throughout the year. It wasn't just a barn where people boarded their horses. They fostered a sense of community with deep foundations in love, respect, and understanding of the horse. Those of us who were teenagers at the ranch were so privileged and lucky to have that growing up.

Every stable I have kept my horse since moving to the UK has been the opposite of that. There isn't a community and there is certainly no interest in learning and in horsemanship. Wherever the sympathetic, skilled horsemen and women are, the ones who are open to different philsophies, who want to ride with lightness and harmony and further their understanding of the psychology of the horse, it isn't any livery yard I've been on. If it were not for seeing a much broader view of people via this forum, it would be easy for me to think most riders in the UK learned to pull the horse into an outline with the bit and punish it for being "cheeky" when it objected to that sort of treatment. It makes me sad. Especially for the horses. My old barn in Colorado encouraged all us boarders to think about problems from the perspective of the horse and deal with them in a way that was kind, effective and improved rider and horse. At a clinic, Mark Rashid said, "I don't help people with horse problems; I help horses with people problems." The barn was very much of that philosophy.

It had been owned by the same family for 60 years, but closed as an equestrian facility last year. The sons had kept it going for a few years when their parents passed away, but ultimately it wasn't what they wanted to do with their lives. And no one who wanted to run it as a boarding stable could afford the millions it cost -- it had 90 acres of mountain trails as well as three arenas, an XC course, a lounge, a classroom, and all the paddocks and stable blocks. It was bought by the city of Boulder and the trails we grew up riding are now open to everyone.

 

[Hedge_pig]

Nope, all the yards I’ve been on have been unrelentingly bitchy, fine if you did things the way whoever happened to be ‘queen bee’ liked them, woe betide if not. Never been happier since I got my own place, no one to comment on rugging choices, stable/horse cleanliness, riding etc. Give a cheery wave to the neighbours each morning and that’s it.

 

[leflynn]

Struggled a bit with the title for this one, but it occurred to me recently that the yard isn't just place where we go because our horses happen to live there. At my yard anyway, it's place where friendships are formed and where we go for a bit of social interaction, as well as looking after our horses. Over the years I've been on yards where people have suffered illnesses, bereavements, broken marriages, financial issues, work problems and a host of other personal ups and downs, and it seems like it's always the folks on the yard who are there to pick up the pieces and put us back together again. Or maybe I've just been lucky to be on yards where the people are great, supportive, helpful and full of good advice.

Is it the common bond of having our horses there which brings us together, or are horsey people just the type of people who like to help and support others through a crisis.

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like going to the yard for an hour of two is the remedy to all life's ills?

Exactly this, my horse has got me through a lot and so have my lovely friends at the yard and I hope I've been a support to them too - we are always there for each other no matter how small or large the crisis and its one of the many things I love about my current yard, I have stayed in touch with some that have moved too and count them as some of my best friends

 

[tankgirl1]

There isn't a community and there is certainly no interest in learning and in horsemanship. Wherever the sympathetic, skilled horsemen and women are, the ones who are open to different philsophies, who want to ride with lightness and harmony and further their understanding of the psychology of the horse, it isn't any livery yard I've been on.

My yard is very much focused on the horses happiness, and we are all like minded. It is an unusual place as it is based on a farm run by a charity which uses the farm to offer therapy. The farmhouse itself is a rehab centre for women. I am in the UK, we are out there albeit few and far between

I feel incredibly lucky to have found the place. They are very supportive, and the yard is the only place I socialise due to severe MH issues

 

[Dave's Mam]

I yard with 2 friends. I think we look after each other quite well.
I say this laid up with lurgy, safely knowing that whilst I have done stable, hay & dinner, Dave will be brought in tonight for me & I will return the favour.

 

[Dave's Mam]

My yard is very much focused on the horses happiness, and we are all like minded. It is an unusual place as it is based on a farm run by a charity which uses the farm to offer therapy. The farmhouse itself is a rehab centre for women. I am in the UK, we are out there albeit few and far between

I feel incredibly lucky to have found the place. They are very supportive, and the yard is the only place I socialise due to severe MH issues

I am glad to see you are doing well in the environment.

 

[tankgirl1]

I am glad to see you are doing well in the environment.

Thanks Emma Hope you and Dave are both well

 

[Dave's Mam]

Thanks Emma Hope you and Dave are both well

We are great, thank you.

 

[Sunnydays]

I am on the best yard with the most amazing people. I lost my horse five months afternoon being there and they buried him on the farm. Everyone there is lovely and has been a total pillar of support through loss of horse and issues with new youngster.