Things horses only do on the screen

[Prancerpoos]

1) Live without any apparent need for food or drink. I am re-watching GoT at the moment and note that riders seem to be able to ride through deep snow for days and just tie their horse to a tree each night, then off they go again. In a recent episode of The Last of Us (which I loved) the poor horse was left in a suburban garage for a few days, with all its tack on, and was then apparently fine and galloped off.

2) Whinny and neigh etc constantly - when any horse or group of horses appears on screen, cue for lots of whinnying.

3) All riding starts and ends at a canter. Straight out of the stable, mount, canter off.No

Any other particularly egregious examples you have noticed?

 

[Muddy unicorn]

The amount of rearing - hero jumps on horse, wheels it around (hauling on its mouth), horse rears and they take off at a fast canter

 

[dreamcometrue]

They randomly fall over in battle, quite often when their rider has been shot

 

[dreamcometrue]

They pay no attention to other horses they meet. No nose touching or squealing.

 

[millikins]

All are immaculate, horses and riders both at the start and the end of the activity, all wear double bridles, and for about the last 15 years almost all are Friesians.

 

[dreamcometrue]

They don’t poo

 

[catembi]

Someone dismounts, drops the reins...and the horse just stays there...? I have read about a thing called 'ground hitching' but I can't see it working on any of mine!

 

[hobo]

I have just watched a film called Montana good film but horse was always tide up even though in a stable and was alive even though no one had been looking after him since the family had left home. Yet daughter came home after 5+ years and jumped on him and took him for a ride around the field! Father had been in a coma for several months but horse was still alive. Mind you we are know for mainly over feeding our horses maybe it is us that are wrong. I guess it saves on mucking out as well.

 

[TinseLeneHorse]

A prize winning racehorse is actually a 15.2 cobby thing (all creatures great and small)

 

[SilverLinings]

Like dogs they seem in films to always be able to sense danger before the humans, even when it's something a horse typically wouldn't appreciate as a potential danger, such as an impending accident, or a robber approaching.

In historical films the horses are always much larger and much more finely bred than would have been the reality. Also, nosebags are rarely seen, even though that was the main way working horses received food during daylight hours.

There is never any consideration for the going, if the scene is going to look better in canter then the rider will be cantering, even if it's down a steep stony track and minutes later they are happy to let the horse amble along a nice grassy path.

 

[MereChristmas]

The hero leads a troop of horsemen on, choose any from the list below..
a rescue of heroine
a capture of villain
saving the day in a battle at the last minute

They all walk slowly across a landscape of fields with the horses just about managing an amble because the lead actors are…
either
too precious in monetary terms to be allowed to ride faster
or
too poor a rider to manage any more than a walk.

 

[toppedoff]

Taming wild horse or being the chosen one for wild horses/unrideable is quite a bit of a trope

 

[Dave's Mam]

Ohhh, stop filming Blackie needs a poo! Of course films aren't completely realistic. They'd be dead boring.

 

[smolmaus]

Never seen a horse on film headbutting anyone in the tit for a carrot, really stretches my suspension of disbelief.

 

[toppedoff]

I'd love to see a realistic horse movie though icl

 

[Cortez]

Ohhh, stop filming Blackie needs a poo! Of course films aren't completely realistic. They'd be dead boring.

People don't poo in films either, and rarely eat.

 

[Ratface]

Someone dismounts, drops the reins...and the horse just stays there...? I have read about a thing called 'ground hitching' but I can't see it working on any of mine!

 

[Ratface]

Neither can I! He'd be high-tailing it off back to the field, or getting the reins tangled round his (soon-to-be) expensive legs and then doing his Drama Queen act.

 

[little_critter]

When some off horse action is going on all the horses act agitated (neighing, pawing, rearing) rather than staring into the distance or attacking a hay net.
I noted the other night while half watching a John Wick film that it was convenient there was a horse, fully tacked up with boots on, tied up ready in the middle of the night for him to escape on.

 

[Ratface]

I think ground tying is more an American/Canadian thing. I follow a site called Keystone Equine, which is interesting and impressive in equal parts. It mentions ground tying.
The author is a woman called Kate. Definitely worth a look, imo.

 

[Ratface]

I don't possess a television, so I have no idea what's on. Just check the BBC News on my antiquated mobile phone.

 

[luckyoldme]

Horse whisperer,
The horse has been seriously injured in an accident then no one has been able to get near it for months...but it's got a full set of shoes on.

 

[Maxidoodle]

Horses always appear fully tacked up, on the very rare occasion when someone tacks them up, there is no walking back to the tack room multiple times for forgotten items, no waiting while the rider changes from yard boots to riding boots, no time when the rider comes out and the horse has been using a poo pillow in the stable

 

[Maxidoodle]

I think ground tying is more an American/Canadian thing. I follow a site called Keystone Equine, which is interesting and impressive in equal parts. It mentions ground tying.
The author is a woman called Kate. Definitely worth a look, imo.

Definitely, when I switched to Western many years back, first thing was to teach to ground tie.My current mare now ground ties lovely but I can’t imagine being able to successfully train any of my minis to do it

 

[JackFrost]

All are immaculate, horses and riders both at the start and the end of the activity, all wear double bridles, and for about the last 15 years almost all are Friesians.

Not only are they Friesians, they're the SAME Friesians.

 

[ycbm]

I wish I could find it, but in the TV series Adventures of Black Beauty) she jumps a hedge on him and he takes off wearing a snaffle and lands in a Pelham. Now that's a class A groom who can do that!
.

 

[ycbm]

Not only are they Friesians, they're the SAME Friesians.

And if they're white they're PRE/Lusitano, even in the desert in Arabia

 

[Starzaan]

Live in their tack, ALWAYS.

The best representation of horses in media I have seen is in The Banshees of Inisherin. The horses make normal horse noises, and when one of the equines dies, the way it is portrayed it totally accurate. I didn’t realise how angry it makes me watching horses constantly whinnying and making sex noises in most films and series, until I saw that and realised how much calmer I was when watching

 

[JackFrost]

They are all perfectly well behaved ridden alone in wide open spaces by someone who has clearly never sat on a horse before

 

[Lady Jane]

Horse whisperer,
The horse has been seriously injured in an accident then no one has been able to get near it for months...but it's got a full set of shoes on.

Horse Whisperer irritated me intensily, the horse should have been euthanased after the accident. My friend pointed out it would have been a rather short film