Think Kelly1982 derserves an apology...

[JACQSZOO]

[ QUOTE ]
AH!

Now…if you take money for transporting the horse I can see the point. However – if you load the horses ‘as a favour’ into the lorry, drive via a petrol station and put the diesel in the lorry and someone else pays for it ‘as a favour’ it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have taken payment for transporting….

There are ways and means out of most things.

[/ QUOTE ]

Course there are. That is not the point. The point was, and still is, no-one should be made to feel they are wrong for not wanting to transport other people horses, it should be their choice.

 

[katiejaye]

Wow, just read the original post and people are so harsh! Kelly1982 does not sound like a spoilt brat to me but someone who probably goes out their way to do nice things for others and gets dissapointed when they are not reciprocated. I completely understand this as I always go out of my way to give people lifts and help people out when I can and am always surprised how other people can be so mean or stingey. A someone has said before though if you expect nothing from people then it is always a nice surprise when someone does do something nice for you.

I only got my trailer this year and I always make sure I ask around if I am going out to shows if anyone wants to join. I don't expect anything in return though, I just do it because I know how much I appreciated lifts when i was transportless.

 

[TGM]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't actually think I do owe Kelly an apology.

[/ QUOTE ] Sooty, I think your reply was fair and reasonable and not malicious at all.

 

[JACQSZOO]

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, just read the original post and people are so harsh! Kelly1982 does not sound like a spoilt brat to me but someone who probably goes out their way to do nice things for others and gets dissapointed when they are not reciprocated. I completely understand this as I always go out of my way to give people lifts and help people out when I can and am always surprised how other people can be <font color="red"> </font> so mean or stingey. <font color="black"> </font> A someone has said before though if you expect nothing from people then it is always a nice surprise when someone does do something nice for you.

I only got my trailer this year and I always make sure I ask around if I am going out to shows if anyone wants to join. I don't expect anything in return though, I just do it because I know how much I appreciated lifts when i was transportless.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats the sort of statement that really irritates me. If someone does not wish to give a lift in their transport, which if they are anything like me, have saved long and hard for (20 years before I could afford my own) and go without for, why should they be labelled mean and nasty?
I give people lifts quite often, even going to events that I am not taking my own horse and picking up new horses for people. However, there has been occassions when I want to transport my own horse, on his own to an event that others off my yard also wished to attend. I had my own personal reasons for wishing to go it alone yet I was "expected" to give lifts and when I refused those same people, whom on previous occassions I had gone out of my way to help, labelled me mean and selfish. I found myself having to explain my reasons for wanting to use my OWN transport. Its not on.

 

[Tia]

[ QUOTE ]
I had my own personal reasons for wishing to go it alone yet I was "expected" to give lifts and when I refused those same people, whom on previous occassions I had gone out of my way to help, labelled me mean and selfish. I found myself having to explain my reasons for wanting to use my OWN transport. Its not on.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have to say, I completely agree with this comment. I too have given lifts many many times and am quite happy to continue doing it, but I don't think it should be expected and if I ever felt that it was, then my thoughts would be to cease doing it. I have been used and taken for granted too many times in my life so now I would have no problem to say to someone "no you can't".

 

[Agent XXX999]

which if they are anything like me, have saved long and hard for (20 years before I could afford my own) and go without for, why should they be labelled mean and nasty?


Um, but what did you do for the 20 years that you were saving? Does that mean you never asked for a lift anwhere?

 

[JACQSZOO]

[ QUOTE ]
which if they are anything like me, have saved long and hard for (20 years before I could afford my own) and go without for, why should they be labelled mean and nasty?


Um, but what did you do for the 20 years that you were saving? Does that mean you never asked for a lift anwhere?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes it does. Never in all the years I have owned horses did I ask for a lift. If I needed to go somewhere I hired transport. I also had friends that offered I certainly never ever asked them for a lift anywhere.

 

[Tia]

Me?? I've always had a trailer. I've never taken a lift from anyone and I didn't have to save up for 20 years to get mine.

Sorry are you talking to someone else??

 

[Agent XXX999]

Would also like to point out….

Under new legislation, I am not allowed to pull a trailer or drive a lorry…..I have a very supportive OH with an HGV licence, but he works away A LOT (he has been away for 7 months this year so far….)

My father works away too, and my Mum has no interest in driving a lorry ( the thought is a good one though)

So even if I had all of the money in the world, I could buy myself an Oakley Supreme….with one of those buttons that expands the living and a power shower and Jacuzzi on the roof – but it would never, ever be able to leave the yard with me driving it, unless I went on an extensive course to learn how to drive it (which costs over £2k, and you could buy a nice young horse for that!) And if OH said he would drive me everywhere, there would be at least 6 months of the year where it would be stationary!

I therefore (like countless others on this forum) have to rely on lifts….I try and ‘tag along’ as much as possible, and sometimes it is the most frustrating thing in the world not being able to go somewhere because you have no transport…but for me, it is the only option!
I cant be the only one!

And well done you for going 20 years without asking for a lift ***pats on back***

 

[Tia]

I am totally confused now

.

I never mentioned anything about HGV's or not taking lifts for 20 years........I've never ever taken a lift from anyone in my life never mind 20 years.

 

[Agent XXX999]

Not you Tia… JACQSZOO….

I am not allowed to drive anything other than a car or small van, or pull a trailer – you need a new liscence now and it costs a fortune! Like you would need one for an HGV, we need to do an (expensive) exam to drive anything more than a mini metro (OK I am exaggerating!)

 

[Tia]

Ahh

.

I didn't think the trailer test was that expensive??

 

[magic104]

I do not think anyone is being labelled mean etc for not offering a space in their box/trailer. The main issue for the sake of repeating it, it is not possible to tell the tone of the written word especially on these forums. People need to step back re read &amp; stop being so judgemental, senstive &amp; remember that most people on here do not know one another &amp; probably will never meet up. At the end of the day does it matter, let people have their moans I have lost count how many have. There is no need to keep jumping on people &amp; as already stated in the other posts that is exactly how it looked with Kelly. I can assure you that when I read what my daughter was asking there was no reason for the nasty little comments she received, &amp; she is 14yrs old for gods sake. If an adult can not rely something without it sounding other then what them meant how can a 14yr old. I therefore will not stay quiet if I read what looks like a gang bash. Some of you are just too senstive &amp; too quick to judge &amp; jump on people. There was no need to tell Kelly she was a drama queen or childish or any other put down. And if you think my language is a bit strong then go back &amp; re read some of the things that have been said to people.

 

[Sooty]

It is.

Over £80 if you do it midweek, and more at weekends, plus instruction etc. And it is a hideous experience! Still, it has to be done and in the grand scheme of horse ownership is an excellent investment.

 

[Dogbetty141]

I think that some people when well below the belt here. Someone decided they would post against kelly veiws and then everyone else sort of followed. You have not come across to me as spolit or a drama queen. Id def be annoyed oh and the bit about you not owning the instuctor you should have just laughed that off how silly.

 

[bandit]

I am not sure, but if you are suspecting that Kelly 'expected' a lift, or 'expects' lifts every time someone goes out, then I believe that assumption to be wrong.

Kelly would love lifts, and appreciates them, however I don't think she meant everyone must always think of her and god help those that don't...

Bx

 

[Sooty]

Thanks TGM!

 

[Agent XXX999]

Have not got a clue but it would all mount up anyway…car insurance is a joke - I have got a golf and fully comp it is £1200 per year, which is laughable….twinned with the fact that I would have to buy a new car and a trailer big enough to take the 17.3 beast that is Bruce, plus the fact that I think the trailer test is about £1000 – it just does not seem economical/worth it….I would if I could!

 

[Tia]

 

[filly190]

By reading the posts, it seems the original subject has been a little side-lined.

 

[Agent XXX999]

it has, sort of...but never mind they all do!

 

[vicster]

Everyone is different and will all have different views on different things - some may of been quite rude and blunt but then you have to think that they may see/hear or read things differently. I don't think Kelly should take it personally as she said we don't all know the facts. I know that some people if they are booking lessons with a new Instructor they like to have the one on one at first so this may of been why she wanted to go on her own. I am sure it will all work itself out. x

 

[Dogbetty141]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I don't actually think I do owe Kelly an apology.

[/ QUOTE ]

Neither do I.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh Purleeez do you not remeber saying that that was harsh and very childish!!!!

 

[siennamum]

Chin up Kelly. I dislike being on yards as I find that even when everyone is really nice there's friction in time. You sound like you need to find a new place.
I have always had transport and was lucky in getting my license long before it became such a trial.
It wouldn't occur to me to go out in the box without seeing if anyone else wanted to come along. Think it's very mean not to, I quite like going places with other people as it means I can talk them into a stupor all the way there and back.

Think you were jumped on unneccesarily in your last post and hope you aren't feeling down about it.
I've never thought you seemed anything but sensible and mature, in fact have thought you handled criticism commendably in the past. Far more forgiving than I would be

 

[Sarah1]

Why? Because she posted on an open forum and people gave their opinions with the info they were given?
I posted and will not take back what I said, that's my opinion, I wasn't being nasty or catty just posting what I thought when I read the posts.
What I will say is that there are some complete b1tches on here and a lot of the time it's not a nice place to be - I'm sure they are plain nasty cos that's how they get their kicks.
From what you say Kelly is very talented and a genuinely nice person so if I was her I wouldn't let what a bunch of witches say about me get under my skin.
Sound like she has nice friends and really their opinions are the only ones that count!

 

[jennystreek]

I give people lifts quite often, even going to events that I am not taking my own horse and picking up new horses for people. However, there has been occassions when I want to transport my own horse, on his own to an event that others off my yard also wished to attend. I had my own personal reasons for wishing to go it alone yet I was "expected" to give lifts and when I refused those same people, whom on previous occassions I had gone out of my way to help, labelled me mean and selfish. I found myself having to explain my reasons for wanting to use my OWN transport. Its not on.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have to say that this statement probably explains a lot about JAQSZOO's personality and the way that he/she interacts with people. 90% of the time i go out in my box, i invite others along, but the 10% of the time i go out on my own (usually if i decide at the last minute so dont get round to organising with other people), never would anyone get in a strop with me or label me as mean and nasty? Perhaps we just have a better understanding with each other, and respect each other at our yard??

 

[xspiralx]

Why are you taking it so personally JAQSZOO? The person in question is not you, its not about you - and this woman sounds genuinely a pretty mean person in general.

 

[happyhack]

I agree

have just read Kelly's post and some of the comments made by some ppl were really unnecessary, clearly posted by ppl that havent been following Kelly's progress on the yard!!!

Kelly, Dont let them get u down hunny!! They all just want a friend like u!!!!!

 

[piebaldsparkle]

Don't think I need to apologise for anything I put in the previous trend (except maybe for my dodgy typing, but was at work and the boss was around!!!).

However I was trying to see both sides. I have always given lifts (free) if I've had a spare space, or in an emergency vets etc... However I don't feel that I or anyone else with their own transport, should be made to feel guilty or feel they need to explain themselves if they haven't offered a lift. There must be a reason for this womans behaviour, if she has always be nice/friendly/sharing in the past. All I was saying was don't take her behaviour personnally Kelly, she probably has reasons that are completely unrelated to you!!!

I am sorry if some peoples post upset you (and hope mine didn't), but all I can advise is that you hit the 'Ignore this user button' on those that offended you.

 

[FMM]

I have re read the initial post and read this post. I think that a few of you definitely need to take a step back. Owning horses is expensive as we all know and we all have to save hard to afford the luxuries like travel.

Once someone HAS spent the money, the littlest scratch, the smallest dent means a great deal to them. No one will respect the trailer or lorry the same way as the person who has paid for it. Therefore, all of you who "put in diesel money" need to ensure that the person who owns the vehicle NEVER feels that their transport is not respected the way it should be. This goes for tack, jumps and everything else. It seems to me that the woman in the original post has had equipment that has been damaged by others. Even if she hasn't, why should she feel she has to make excuses not to give people a lift somewhere. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I also think that Kelly (although she may have not thought too much about the other persons feelings) should not feel like she is in the wrong!

Perhaps if we can imagine the other person posting that she has a trailer and is fed up with this girl inviting herself along to a lesson, people would have told her that she was not being fair in keeping her transport to herself.

Anyway - rambling over, the point I am making is that it is up to each person whether they want to offer transport or not. And if they don't want to (and they DON'T have to give a valid reason), then just leave it at that.