This Just Shows How Non-Horsey My Mum Is...

I used to livery on a riding school yard.

One day a very eminent well known equine dentist was on our yard doing the livery horses teeth.

A youngish girl (7yo i would say) who had come with mummy to ride the ponies in the riding school was stood watching intently whilst said denist was rasping a horses teeth with the long handled power rasp.

Little Girl "what are you doing to that horse, whats that in his mouth".

Dentist "ah well you see, look very carefully at his feet, this horse has a puncture in his right foot and i am blowing it back up again. Can you watch it carefully for me and tell me when it looks the same size as the other one".

Well, the young girl stood for 5 minutes watching the foot intently, whilst the dentist finished off the horses teeth.

Bless the Dentist, when he had finished, he showed the little girl all the tools and equipment and told her exactly was he was doing. ...... but as for the rest of us, we were back in the office out of the way howling with laughter !
 
s14tobin said:
My mum used to ride, so is ok, but my dad... god! he shouted me as I was going passed the house ages ago on my old TB< and said I was wanted on the phone, so jumped off, and he said he would hold Pols, I got back a couple of min later, and he was walking in the house FURIOUS! I asked him where she was, he'd put her back in the field (tack and ALL) because she'd 'looked at him with a cross face' and 'stamped on his foot ON PURPOSE 3 times'... she was quite happy about it all.... he is adamant to this day (15 years later!!) that she did it on purpose as she didn't like him!
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LOL :D Bless, She Prob Did Do It On Purpose! :rolleyes:
 
These are great! My family is non-horsey apart from my mum used to do a bit riding when she was a teen. However my dad is convinced he knows everything. When I was around 10 and I would take my pony to a show he would say 'Go on Hanna go get your number and I will tack up Diamond'. Only to come back to find the saddle so far back that the girth was in the middle of her stomach and it was that tight the poor lass couldnt breath!
My Dad has such an obsession with girths, even now hes constantly telling me my girth needs tightening and manages to get it all the way to the top hole!

But the best one had to be my grandad, he also used to think he was full of wisdom when it came to horses because he used to work down the pits with the pit ponies. He is often in the pub and has convinced the locals that he owns my horse and that its always winning races! He began this years ago when I had a 14.2 cob. He showed them a picture of him standing next to my old pony and they all believed him!
 
hannabanana said:
But the best one had to be my grandad, he also used to think he was full of wisdom when it came to horses because he used to work down the pits with the pit ponies. He is often in the pub and has convinced the locals that he owns my horse and that its always winning races! He began this years ago when I had a 14.2 cob. He showed them a picture of him standing next to my old pony and they all believed him!
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Awww How Old Is Your Grandad? :rolleyes:
 
My mum has always supported me with the horses, but has only learnt what i have taught/shown her.
So now i am very lucky and between my mum and aunts and uncles they do weekday mornings for me so stable chores are all done and i am always showing them new things.
Only prob is i now have a family of little hitlers that will come marching up to me in the mornings telling me things that they dont believe i done the day before or that i need to do that day.
It is funny till friends come up and the family are telling me how to do things and in what order they should be done.
Everyone finds it so funny that if you stand and listen you would think i am just learning.
Not complaining though as i do realise how lucky i am
 
I had a old bloke come up to me when I was out riding my 15.hh Appy. He asked me what her name was. I told him Minski, so he asked it was the race horse, no that Nijinski!!! As everone knows Nijinski was spotty with a rat tail!!
 
i took my dad into the field to see my horse and we had to duck under the electric fence, next thing i know my dads half way down the field. i asked him what was wrong and he said the electric fence got him, turns out it wasnt even on.
 
Ha ha ha I love this thread!

I haven't got anything funny to write but this has given me a really good laugh.

I now have to take my dogs to be groomed with bright red eyes from cry laughing (thays what my daughters call it!).

x
 
My darling OH brought K in this morning whilst I went to get petrol. As I walked up the track, I realised he had brought the wrong horse in!

Cue me yelling up the track 'that's not my horse!'. I said to him did he not think it was weird he'd manage to change into a red rug from a blue one?

Bless, it would be alright if he didn't know him very well but he has lessons on him one a fortnight!
 
Mum (70) volunteered to turn my very old and very small pony out one morning.

Mobile rings to hysterical parent scream 'Ive cocked up'.

Turns out pony had run off as she put her in paddock. When I got to the bottom of it though, it appears mother took headcollar off THIS side of the gate and expected the pony to 'put' herself in her field. There was another horse already in and mum darent go near the gate.

I suspect my pony stood at the gate of the starvation paddock she was about to go in and thought 'stuff this' and cantered off at a fast pace towards green grass.
 
My mum is non-horsey and came out with this classic the other day when talking to her friend's daughter about her new horse:

The daughter was telling her about the horse and asked if she'd like to see a photo, mum said yes and daughter got out a photo.

Mum says "she's very pretty what colour is she?" (now that is bad enough as she's looking at a photo of the horse and has been subjected to two horsey daughters for 25+ years) so the friend's daughter replies "she's fleabitten grey".....

So Mum replies "oh dear, that isn't very nice, is she old?"

Argh!
 
My mum and dad arent bad really- work colleagues come out with corkers on occasion.

When I said I was going to Bramham, I was asked which horse I was taking....

Hmmm.....let me see.... 22yo PBA ( now deceased) 5 yo highland or grossly unfit cob.:rolleyes:

They all love the pony thats the 'same colour as a cup of tea' (dun), and were worried about my veteran horse.....was it ok to ride him even though he was old?

When I explained that he was the fittest, maddest of the lot....I don't think they believed me...:)
 
I ordered a made to measure bridle for Lou last year and got it delivered to my flat in London (I'm a student and was living with 3 other girls of my own age). I happily unpacked the bridle in the kitchen and put it together in front of my fascinated flatmates. One of them, Jenny, then asked me which way round it went on the horse. So Lauren, another of my flatmates and the only one who has ridden before, proceeded to put the bridle over her head as if she were a horse and then held the ends of the reins up to the corners of her mouth while I stood behind her and held the reins as if I were the rider. We stood there for a moment, very proud of our working model, when Jenny announced that it looked like some kind of weird bondage kit and she still had no idea how it went on the horse :p
 
I remember at work a colleague said "if eveyone's horses are in the same field, how do you know which one is yours?" and "do horses have different personalities, like dogs do?" :rolleyes:
 
This is funny reading these.

My Dad tagged along to a show many moons ago and I asked him to put my horses srug on whilst I did something. I came back to find the rug on backwards. I nearly wet myself I was laughing so hard at him.

Another time, when I was a kid, I was talking to a girl in a park and she said she had a pony. Excitedly I started talking about mine, name, breed, height etc. It then became apparent that she didn't know what she was talking about because she told me her pony was bigger than mine because it was 13.4. PMSL
 
my parents are non-horsey and my dad used to call bags of feed 'seeds'! he's a horse not a budgie! But mainly I just get have you put his 'coat' on? and them getting things muddled up!

But I had a brilliant one in work the other day, I was telling someone I'd had a BBQ at the stables and she asked if I'd given my horse any food, I said no, she said that was really mean I should have shared my burgers with him. I then said he's a vegetarian which she was shocked about!! Had to explain that horses/cows/sheep etc only eat grass and hay, shes 18 and about to go to uni, worrying!
 
HashRouge said:
I ordered a made to measure bridle for Lou last year and got it delivered to my flat in London (I'm a student and was living with 3 other girls of my own age). I happily unpacked the bridle in the kitchen and put it together in front of my fascinated flatmates. One of them, Jenny, then asked me which way round it went on the horse. So Lauren, another of my flatmates and the only one who has ridden before, proceeded to put the bridle over her head as if she were a horse and then held the ends of the reins up to the corners of her mouth while I stood behind her and held the reins as if I were the rider. We stood there for a moment, very proud of our working model, when Jenny announced that it looked like some kind of weird bondage kit and she still had no idea how it went on the horse :p
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PMSL:D
 
nativepony said:
When I was ill with a chest infection my 5 year old told everyone I had laminitis!!!!
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Hehe.. that made me laugh and is so cute!! :)

Ex-OH "Are you going to change the numpty" Numnah!

Dad refusing to believe that our new semi-feral pony would kick if you were in the stable when he was having his food.... he got kicked!!

When sis asked Dad to pass her a drink while on her horse he THREW a 2 ltr bottle of coke at her. Horse promptly shot sideways and sis continued sitting where she was... on air, before crashing to the ground (I was also in the bad books because I couldn't breathe from laughing so hard) :D
 
Haha most of these are hilarious! :D

I don't have many really, my nan once offered to tack up so I went to fetch boots and came back to her staring at the pony saying something doesn't look right, the saddle was backwards :rolleyes:

Then at the riding school these little kids were learning how to tack up, one thought she knew what to do and went and put the numnah draping over the horse's butt XD

My sister's friend told us that her auntie went on holiday and rode a 42hh horse! God I laughed so much at that one!

A guy at work asked me if my horse was a stallion or a unicorn...oh dear lmao. He was deadly serious as well! Cue me explaining what mares/gelding/stallions are...and that unicorn arn't real haha!

Oh and once in a riding lesson this girl..she was slightly strange to begin with...well she didn't have a whip so she just lent round and started smacking the horse's butt with her hand because he was walking mega slow, omg I was in hysterics laughing. She was only small so couldn't hit hard and the horse was totally ignoring her :D
 
best I can come up with isn't entirely horsey but one day one of the liveries at the yard asked how my sister was getting on at the british university snowboarding champs she was away at. I duely replied with the good news and the phrase 'yes, she's over the moon' to which her five year old pipped up 'she's gone to the moon?'.

Mum promptly said yes she's away in a rocket to the moon, and the kid got really really excited about it bless him. Thankfully he forgot all about asking if he could go next time by the time my sister got back!
 
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