This Just Shows How Non-Horsey My Mum Is...

MissSBird said:
best I can come up with isn't entirely horsey but one day one of the liveries at the yard asked how my sister was getting on at the british university snowboarding champs she was away at. I duely replied with the good news and the phrase 'yes, she's over the moon' to which her five year old pipped up 'she's gone to the moon?'.

Mum promptly said yes she's away in a rocket to the moon, and the kid got really really excited about it bless him. Thankfully he forgot all about asking if he could go next time by the time my sister got back!
Click to expand...

Awww, thats so adorable :D
That reminds me when i had some kids hanging over my fence asking questions about the little pony, they were like "Can he jump that jump?" to which i replied "Oh yes, he absolutely FLIES over it!" they paused for a few seconds and said ".....Horses can fly?!?! :eek: " :D
 
Some of these are priceless! :D My best has to be when one of my friends saw some of the dressage for the olympics, and asked whether it was the pre-event entertainment before the real competition actually started!? Along the lines of cheerleaders I think she thought...
 
Had to add to this one!
My ex-boss once asked me how much meat my horse ate and whether he tried to hunt rabbits or deer when we went on a hack (not that she used the word 'hack').
I explained that horses were vegetarian, which she didn't quite understand... "But they're so big. They only eat grass? That can't be right."

The idea of my horse suddenly catching scent of a rabbit or squirrel and stalking it with me on board still makes me laugh. She was genuinely serious too!
 
merliebug said:
Had to add to this one!
My ex-boss once asked me how much meat my horse ate and whether he tried to hunt rabbits or deer when we went on a hack (not that she used the word 'hack').
I explained that horses were vegetarian, which she didn't quite understand... "But they're so big. They only eat grass? That can't be right."

The idea of my horse suddenly catching scent of a rabbit or squirrel and stalking it with me on board still makes me laugh. She was genuinely serious too!
Click to expand...

Seriously?? :D Thats hilarious! :rolleyes:
 
Seriously! I nearly choked on my tea!
She looked really quite shocked by the idea that such a big animal was a veggie... I dread to think what she imagines giraffes doing for dinner!
 
My OH got fed up of waiting for me one evening last winter and decided to put Ellie's rug on. I got there to him crossly asking me how on earth you can do buckles up properly when they are under a horses tail......... it was on back to front!

When my boys were small they had ponies. We had someone turn up at the yard and let the ponies out, we found rocks and bottles in the field and my horse munching his hay with the stable door wide open.

Ex OH was running from horse to horse running his hands up and down their legs. I watched in amazement and asked what he was doing. The reply? 'how on earth do I know, but I've seen them do it on the telly' :D :D :D
 
Me and my friend were talking to somebody whilst queueing up for lunch once and somehow we got on to horses.
He was telling us how he got paid really good money for feeding, turning out and mucking out 15 horses, turned out he got paid £3.50. Then he carried on to say he rode a 16.4hh horse, at which point i was crying my eyes out from trying not to laugh. He continued to ask whether my friend had a farrier for her horse, when she answered yes he asked why he didn't train him for her! Luckily by this point we had brought our food and could end the conversation. The thought of it still makes me laugh :)
 
My boyfriend after flicking through my H & H mag very seriously asking me whether an advert for a Stallion with 10 inches of bone really meant what HE thought it meant... I nearly peed myself laughing and then had to tell him that actually he would be quite a small boy if that was the case!!!!
 
MrsElle said:
When my boys were small they had ponies. We had someone turn up at the yard and let the ponies out, we found rocks and bottles in the field and my horse munching his hay with the stable door wide open.

Ex OH was running from horse to horse running his hands up and down their legs. I watched in amazement and asked what he was doing. The reply? 'how on earth do I know, but I've seen them do it on the telly' :D :D :D
Click to expand...

HAHAHAHA!!! :D :D This Made Me LAAUUGGHHHH
 
the '10" of bone' story is funniest so far.

My scared-of-horses mum would always stand at least 20' away from my total sweetie pony, jumping every time he moved and saying in a panicy voice 'He's giving me a funny look!'.

Walking along the footpath across a dairy farm my townie boyfriend of the time was intrigued by the styles. I had to explain they were so they didn't need to put gates in the fence, but you could still cross the fields. 'How does the farmer get the cows over the styles?'. and he blew his nose on a nettle leaf in a no-tissue emergency.
 
mcnaughty said:
My boyfriend after flicking through my H & H mag very seriously asking me whether an advert for a Stallion with 10 inches of bone really meant what HE thought it meant... I nearly peed myself laughing and then had to tell him that actually he would be quite a small boy if that was the case!!!!
Click to expand...

Absolute genius!
 
I was wandering around the XC course as a spectator at Badminton (which is all I'll ever be) a few years ago, and a non horsey friend spotted me from the other side of the track. She waved at me, I waved back, and then she yelled at the top of her voice 'NOT RIDING THIS YEAR THEN?". Cue about 500 people swivelling round to look at me. Gulp. For some reason I'll never be able to explain I yelled back 'NO HE'S DONE A TENDON'. Cue another 500 people turning to stare at me to try and identify me.

So then she shouts across, in a great big foghorn voice " OH. HAS HE SEEN THE DOCTOR?". Cue about 1000 people cracking up with laughter. I smiled sheepishly and sort of shuffled off sideways to hide behind a portaloo until she'd gone...aaarrrgh the humiliation....
 
My (when I met him non Horsey) OH has come out with some total clangers!

He always refers to Vardi's anti rub vest as his Bra, cue him yelling "darling do you need to put Vardi's Bra on" across the yard which certainly made my rather real man Western instructor stop in his tracks.

On watching me grooming and baby wiping Vardi's backside "what are you doing" "cleaning his backside obviously" "urgh can't he do it himself" "Ummm no I don't think he is quite that supple"

On Watching me lunging "Darling he looks a bit dizzy"

On Me leaving the yard with my instructor for Vardi's first big boy outside lesson "Be careful out there and Spotty Arse look after your mother"

Overheard one evening "Hey Mate now you can come in now and be tied outside while we clean your stall or you can stay here for a bit longer which do you prefer" Love he has just stamped his foot twice is that yes or no".

After 8 months at the same yard he still asks "who is that then" "that's Twister darling" "oh I thought it was Paulie" "no darling Paulie is a boy and he is a palomino, Twister as you can see is Chestnut and a girl" " Oh I though the Yellow one was Wit" "No love Wit is white"

I just thank god that mine is a very loud Spotty Appaloosa or god knows what he would bring in.
 
Forgot one and its a classic.

OH seems convinced that Vardi has learnt the art of communication through foot stamping (obviously been taken to too many circus's as a child!) so back in the height of the summer we had this exchange;

"what is he saying"
"what"
"what is he saying "
"sorry you have lost me"
"look at him he is really going for it he is trying to tell us something"
"Yes love that there are a lot of flies about"
 
Chavhorse said:
Forgot one and its a classic.

OH seems convinced that Vardi has learnt the art of communication through foot stamping (obviously been taken to too many circus's as a child!) so back in the height of the summer we had this exchange;

"what is he saying"
"what"
"what is he saying "
"sorry you have lost me"
"look at him he is really going for it he is trying to tell us something"
"Yes love that there are a lot of flies about"
Click to expand...

hehehehehehehehehe! What a talented horse ;)
 
My non horsey cousin bought her 6yr daughter down the yard to see the horses, the daughter said to her mum " why has that horse got 5 legs" ..... horse was having a pee and was rather a big boy !
 
I've got my own yard, and bearing in mind that I'm in my 40s and have had horses since I was 13, my mum said last week "Its about time you got yourself a merrangue for the stables..." She meant a menage!
 
Mum and her friend went to a race meet at Sandown and halfway through a race my mum turns to her friend and says that I am going to race Spyder (3yr old Irish Draught colt!!!) there next year.:eek:

Stupid woman :rolleyes:
 
not so much somthing he said but somthing he done

my sisters OH took my nephew up to the stables to ride his pony whilst my sister was at work, hes been round the horses for a couple of years now but is obv still learning. so sisters OH helped nephew (whos 7) tack up the pony and took her round to the school after about 5 mins he phoned my sister to tell her that pony was being naughty and really stong at which point my nephew piped up "och adam you never put her bit in her mouth" lol he had been riding her about with the bit behind her chin...cue sister on the phone laughing histerically luckily pony is a gem and wouldnt dream of doing anything wrong lol

he still hasnt lived it down lol
 
Cello_song said:
My Dad has done lots of embarrassing things at horsey events, especially the first year I had a pony. The top two are...

- stood at the side of the ring watching me show jumping and when I got a clear round he turned to the woman next to him and said "she's ridden Everest Mon Santa, you know Roger Whittaker's horse" ! (I was lucky enough to know the lady who got Mon Santa when he retired from show jumping with MICHAEL Whittaker!)

- First ever pony club rally and my Dad gets caught going for a pee in the bushes! He got caught as being totally non horsey, went creeping round the bushes right next to where we were riding and the horses all got spooked and one child fell off! He was taken to one side by the DC and was told next time, use a bucket in the back of the trailer! Mortified!

Although I shouldn't complain too much as if it weren't for Daddy, I'd have never been lucky enough to get a pony! We laugh so much at these things now - Dad even made a reference to these incidents in his speech at my wedding!
Click to expand...

:eek:PMSL:D poor you
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top