This Just Shows How Non-Horsey My Mum Is...

mcnaughty said:
My boyfriend after flicking through my H & H mag very seriously asking me whether an advert for a Stallion with 10 inches of bone really meant what HE thought it meant... I nearly peed myself laughing and then had to tell him that actually he would be quite a small boy if that was the case!!!!
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PMSL, I just can't stop laughing at that.:D:D:D:D:D
 
I was at a show riding a gelding that we had bred.
My auntie came to watch us and, when she was told that we had bred him asked whether the stallion owner got to keep the pick of the litter!!:D
 
Im an avid fan of this thread , haven't looked at it since yesterday, but I am sitting here on my own roaring with laughter tea spluttered everywhere and feeling silly for laughing so loud on my own.

This is the funniest ever!!

gala said:
I was wandering around the XC course as a spectator at Badminton (which is all I'll ever be) a few years ago, and a non horsey friend spotted me from the other side of the track. She waved at me, I waved back, and then she yelled at the top of her voice 'NOT RIDING THIS YEAR THEN?". Cue about 500 people swivelling round to look at me. Gulp. For some reason I'll never be able to explain I yelled back 'NO HE'S DONE A TENDON'. Cue another 500 people turning to stare at me to try and identify me.

So then she shouts across, in a great big foghorn voice " OH. HAS HE SEEN THE DOCTOR?". Cue about 1000 people cracking up with laughter. I smiled sheepishly and sort of shuffled off sideways to hide behind a portaloo until she'd gone...aaarrrgh the humiliation....
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QUOTE
"Overheard one evening "Hey Mate now you can come in now and be tied outside while we clean your stall or you can stay here for a bit longer which do you prefer" Love he has just stamped his foot twice is that yes or no"."

ROFPMSL!!!!!!

Just thought of more!! My then (now ex :D ) OH decided that he would accompany my dad to the yard one night and help with the horses (when we first got together, looking for brownie points :rolleyes: )
When I arrive (from work), he's 'brushing' 4YO Isie (read: tickling the surface of his coat!) looking over door..
xOH (looking worried): I think he's a bit excited
Me: ER, Why? (big baby stood still eating his hay, v peacefully)
xOH: well.. look.. his..er well..thing is out
queue Isie moving to the back of stable and having a pee
xOH: oh no, its ok, its not a bone* You can't go for a wee when you're aroused!
:o:rolleyes::D

And the text message i got while he was away with work, playing a quiz in a pub
txt msg: 'Where on a Horse would you find the pantener?'
Me: running round wondering why the ***** I hadn't heard of this in a Horse (start looking in all BHS books, PC manual, Vetinary Dictionaries etc, drew a blank). Mother (completely un-horsey)! comes in to the room and asks what i'm flapping about then says 'oh, I think he means pastern' !!!!!!!!! :o:D
 
Ha some of these are brilliant. My parents are very non-horsey but keep out of it completely. My dad just calls them manky old nags.

Trying to teach the boyfriend, he is quite good but not with colours. Saw a pale palomino and he called it beige. I said if that is "beige" then what would you call a dun...he said "even more beige"!

Tried to teach him but he still says all horses are brown, black or white.
 
This thread has brigtened up the morning :)

My city dwelling sister brought her husband and 2 daughters up to see our pony... her OH was a bit puzzled as he looked at our 13.2 then at others on the yard ... 'How come they're all different sizes?' he said...

Well I suppose if you've only ever seen police horses at the match in the flesh before, it might come as a surprise that equines come in all shapes and sizes ;)
 
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Hubby had been down the yard a few times and my then loan pony was the kind who'd bring herself in so when my phone rang i handed him the head collar and went to make up her feed while I chatted. Still to this day don't understand HOW he managed to put a head collar on back to front (nose band around ears, head piece twisted strangely round nose). She just followed very close behind him with a 'he needs looking after' attitude.
 
Milliepony said:
This thread has brigtened up the morning :)

My city dwelling sister brought her husband and 2 daughters up to see our pony... her OH was a bit puzzled as he looked at our 13.2 then at others on the yard ... 'How come they're all different sizes?' he said...

Well I suppose if you've only ever seen police horses at the match in the flesh before, it might come as a surprise that equines come in all shapes and sizes ;)
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Lol :D Well this one is new to me :p
 
When I got a great job up a country a few years ago, I decided to put my cob out on loan for a year whilst I settled into the job/moved house. He was my first ever horse and I was 28. My mother said 'why don't you sell him and but another one next year'. She has no soul, obviously.

She also used to make a cracking mistake with a friends pony's name, he was called Arial, my mother used to call him Persil - quite happily, to my friends face!

Oh, and she thinks I'm cruel when I hog Harley for showing.
 
Watching Badminton XC today. OH and stepsons join me for about 10 minutes (completely non-horsey)

ss1 watching graphics of one of the obstacles: Water? Do they have a swimming race as well?
OH watching horse having legs checked after a fall: poor thing, look, he's twisted his ankle.
ss2: those horses can't run right. their legs are all over the place!
 
My mum asked earlier how my horse was supposed to get his hay out of his haynet lol..

My sister was also astounded that the horses knew which stable was theirs.
 
Some of these are so funny! I was crying with laughter!

Not as funny but my OH sometimes comes out with gems, he text me very excitedly one day to tell me that he saw a "chestnut with black trimming!" He refuses to believe it was bay and said I should be impressed that he knew its special colour wasn't brown!

Once told me that he had recorded me some dressage on H&C.
"I saw it and thought you'd like it cos it was doing that special trottyness you like."
"What do you mean?"
"The special trottyness!" and then proceeded to do his best demonstration of a flying change around my living room.

Bless him!
 
4 year old niece sitting on older sisters new first pony for the very first time.

''I know how to ride- you have to hold onto the brains''

This was over 20 years ago, I've never forgotten it - 'cos it's sooooo true!
 
Rhee said:
4 year old niece sitting on older sisters new first pony for the very first time.

''I know how to ride- you have to hold onto the brains''

This was over 20 years ago, I've never forgotten it - 'cos it's sooooo true!
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The OH is giving me some very funny looks - laughing very hard! :D I love this thread!
 
"well your horse is really big so it must be really old... ive seen how small the babies are i mean when theyre shetlands theyre just tiny...." um nooooooo thats a different breed love!

"its raining do you want me to drive you to the yard poor roscoe must be getting wet and i dont want him getting a cold or flu or something" its drizzling and mum i really dont care when its 2 am!!!
 
best of all trying out my boy was a tad wild and in very poor nick with my trainer her mother her OH the old owners fam and friends and my dad so no pressure!! just jumping a small x pole to show dad he could and he bolted, best look in control impersonation yet and 4 laps later pull up. que everyone face in their hands.... that was that sale gone but my naive father "that was cool, lets do it" when i get home that night horseless as the wild beast wouldnt so much as glance at the trailer my dad says "we got some proper horse now!" hmmm what would health and saftey say?!
 
When I was looming at my geldings parentage, hubby asks when I'm going to start breeding with my boy! Had to explain the whole gelding thing a number of times!

My boy is a big dapple grey who likes to get a mucky as poss in the field, mum happened to be with me one day when I was bringing him in. There were only 2 horses at the yard Inc my 17.3 boy and a 14.1 pony, mum was totally convinced I had brought the wrong horse in as he was the wrong colour! Infect he was just covered in mud!

Tried teaching hubby colours of horses, he knows that mine is a dapple grey and therefore also should k ow grey is white. We were watching a show a I said oh that grey will win, which it did, then we had a large 'chat' that I picked the grey to win and I was wrong as the White horse won! Do I just talk to myself some days??
 
When I was ill one day, Dad volunteered to let the horse out, change his rug and put his field headcollar on. Later got a call from YO asking if I was drunk as horses STABLE(should have been fly!) rug was on back to front and headcollar was in pieces in the field. Bless my dad :rolleyes:
He also calls horses who have black fly masks on 'zorro' from the film and rugs dresses :D he also insists he's seen my pony dead in the field, but somehow came back to life when he went up to him and sat on him!
 
Some of these are brilliant.

I took a call from my friend while I was at my grandads the other day. He overheard me say "do you think you'll be free to come over this week I need a riding lesson?!"
Que my grandad say "bloomin heck after 15years you'd think you'd be able to ride by now!"

*sigh*
 
Karran said:
Once told me that he had recorded me some dressage on H&C.
"I saw it and thought you'd like it cos it was doing that special trottyness you like."
"What do you mean?"
"The special trottyness!" and then proceeded to do his best demonstration of a flying change around my living room.

Bless him!
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This has made me cry with laughter... :D:D
 
I had a slightly confused exchange with the not entirely unhorsey chap I'm seeing at present. He knew I was meant to be competing today (at a show in Ipswich) and it came up in conversation, regarding times and when I had to be there. I said something along the lines of "I'm not competing till the afternoon, but I need to be up sharpish to bath him and get him ready. And I'll need to drive him to Ipswich". To which I heard (to my disbelief) the response was "Ipswich? Is that where you take them to bath them?". I have visions of an equine spa town, with public baths for horses... :p Then presumably I'd drive him back closer to home to compete? I don't know :rolleyes:

Anyhow, I'm not complaining, as he's awesome :D and really quite funny, even if it's unintentional sometimes ;)
 
Haha some of these are brilliant!

I left my very horsey mum (she's been riding/had horses for about 30 years) with the task of getting plaiting thread for my bright bay mare which we have had on loan for nearly 5 years as I had to work. She bought brown thread instead of black thinking our mare had a brown mane. She sees her every day!! So dippy!!
 
I'm forever having randoms comeup to me at shows and ask me how big my pony will be when he is older - he is a 21yo shetland who aint gonna be getting any bigger! This I can understand from people who don't have a clue but it gets slightly worrying at work when both the head girl and assisstent trainer ask me why I am not doing anything about the little bits of mud fever on the back of my work horses fetlocks - until I pointed out to them that they were ergots and yes, not all racehorses have them as they have been bred out of them but some still do indeed have them!

It really makes you wonder sometimes!
 
EKW said:
I'm forever having randoms comeup to me at shows and ask me how big my pony will be when he is older - he is a 21yo shetland who aint gonna be getting any bigger! This I can understand from people who don't have a clue but it gets slightly worrying at work when both the head girl and assisstent trainer ask me why I am not doing anything about the little bits of mud fever on the back of my work horses fetlocks - until I pointed out to them that they were ergots and yes, not all racehorses have them as they have been bred out of them but some still do indeed have them!

It really makes you wonder sometimes!
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Actually that's probably not as mad as you would think (either that or I am as mad... hum!) my new horse has enormous ones.. I have never seen them before, not on any of the hunters, eventers, studs or racehorses I've worked with! However, I ahve also been known to be quite unobservant and I don't know if I spotted them because I notice everything about her??? :p
 
I <3 My Teddi said:
Some of these are brilliant.

I took a call from my friend while I was at my grandads the other day. He overheard me say "do you think you'll be free to come over this week I need a riding lesson?!"
Que my grandad say "bloomin heck after 15years you'd think you'd be able to ride by now!"

*sigh*
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Get very fed up with people saying that to me too. I do try explaining that even Olympic riders have lessons, then they just ask who teaches the people who teach the Olympic riders...

A favorite question at work is "how are the horses coping in the rain"...erm fine, last time I checked they don't dissolve in rain.

I'm still trying to explain the difference between straw and hay to my OH and why you can't just put down a bed of hay to save yourself filling up haynets. He does try hard though, he helped me clean ming stable mats the other week almost without complaint too :)

I'm not prefect, I've been riding for 22yrs and I still call rugs jammies and shows parties :)
 
You should see the ergots my fell pony grows! If left for 6 months they can reach 5in long lol! None of my others actually grow them but they do have the foundations of them. Only one of my TB's has them the others not even a trace.

The other good one I had was in response to an advert for a pony for sale. Said pony was a 2yo shetland colt who was a dream to handle. They rang up and asked if he would be suitable for their 3yo grandson to handle and ride and if he could jump and be able to do normal horsey things. Whilst I had no qualms that the pony could be pulled around by a 3yo child I most certainly wasn't going to sell him to anyone who thought that a 2yo could be ridden and going jumping! And that's before you got to the fact that he was a colt - shetland or no!
 
These are cracking me up!
My dad comes up with some crackers. He calls the mesh cooler a string vest. Anti-rub vest a sports bra, askes when Alvin's getting shaved (clipped perhaps?), asked if a 2l coke bottle would be enough for Alvin to drink.

They recently have become (even more) strict about bringing overly fresh/green/wired ponies to rallies. Alvin was in one of his wired to the moon kind of moods but we were trying to play it down so we wouldn't get the boot when Dad announces to the DC that Alvin was completely crazy and would probably be wild when I tried to ride him :o wrong wording if not completely gringy!

Yesterday he kindly offered to put Alvin out in the field while I put away the tack. Within minutes I heard him shouting my name, came out to find him standing in the car park, Alvin munching on the grass verge and the field gate wide open (with 7 horses in it). Turns out Dad thought you could just open the gate and leave it open until the horse walked in:rolleyes:

Another cracker was when my mum came to get me from the yard. I had finished riding Alvin and hopped up on my friends horse. Mum came and watched me ride for a good 20 minutes before telling me how good Alvin was going...eh Alvin is a 15hh dappled (dark) grey connie X cob, the mare I was riding was a 16hh rose grey thoroughbred.

I was riding my old pony (who could be a tad bit bold) when she had a bucking fit across the field, I asked mum if she saw what the pony had just done and just nodded and told me it was very nice:rolleyes:
 
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