Thread #1: People interfering!

The lady in your original post has two nice ponies and also teaches. She would like to help you and you have already seen that her ponies are well behaved. What's the problem?
Ask if your pony can stay with hers for a while and swallow your pride. You keep repeating that you are out of your depth. Accept her help. Sounds like a win/win to me.
 
lhotse said:
It does beg the question, if, by your own admission, you don't know what the hell you are doing, why the hell did you buy an unhandled and possibly in foal pony? Does you mother have any experience? I feel sorry for the pony. She must be very confused being all alone. If you can't afford to keep her properly, with the company that she needs, then maybe you need to re-evaluate if she's in the best home.
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Do you really need to be so rude about it? OP is asking for advice, taking everything on board and although she is a novice she seems to know what the pony needs than this "experienced" lady that keeps interfering. I can gather from the posts that OP is willing to get pony a companion and does admit it was a bit of an impulse buy but she is making slow and steady progress and is willing to take advice. A lot better owner than the interfering lady IMO
 
lhotse said:
It does beg the question, if, by your own admission, you don't know what the hell you are doing, why the hell did you buy an unhandled and possibly in foal pony? Does you mother have any experience? I feel sorry for the pony. She must be very confused being all alone. If you can't afford to keep her properly, with the company that she needs, then maybe you need to re-evaluate if she's in the best home.
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I got excited and bought the first pony I saw - I know it was a mistake and if I could turn back time I would. I had no idea that she was possibly in foal until she arrived at mine and the person I bought her from had left. I was not told anything about whether she'd being covered or not and when I asked the lady I bought her from she denied it until we showed her a photo of what was in her passport; 'Covered by Traditional Gypsy cob April 20th 2013' - My mum has little experience of horses although used to have a few on loan so not completely clueless. I can afford to keep her, I can't afford a companion.

To be honest, we probably will end up having to sell her as i've admitted, multiple times, I do not have the experience and knowledge she needs. At the moment I am asking for help and taking on people's advice and trying to stick with her as long as I can.
 
Fellewell said:
The lady in your original post has two nice ponies and also teaches. She would like to help you and you have already seen that her ponies are well behaved. What's the problem?
Ask if your pony can stay with hers for a while and swallow your pride. You keep repeating that you are out of your depth. Accept her help. Sounds like a win/win to me.
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The lady in my post has 4 horses and 2 ponies. All lovely and friendly and she did offer me a place for pony to stay up there however Mum doesn't want her to move as FO has done a hell of a lot for us. The only way she'd consider lending me a pony for mine would be to bring down two as the ponies she has are best friends and won't be separated and there is not enough room for 3 ponies in that field. Also if she brings one of her ponies down or I move up there, she'll always be there and trying to 'help' me which I wasn't comfortable with. :o
What would you do?

Bexx said:
Do you really need to be so rude about it? OP is asking for advice, taking everything on board and although she is a novice she seems to know what the pony needs than this "experienced" lady that keeps interfering. I can gather from the posts that OP is willing to get pony a companion and does admit it was a bit of an impulse buy but she is making slow and steady progress and is willing to take advice. A lot better owner than the interfering lady IMO
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It's a valid point, I didn't see it as a rude comment just somebody asking me questions. It's fine, I know i'm over my head and I know that i'm not the best home for her. I am trying and I really am taking people's advice on board but we'll have to see what happens over time :)
 
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*MoodyMare* said:
The lady in my post has 4 horses and 2 ponies. All lovely and friendly and she did offer me a place for pony to stay up there however Mum doesn't want her to move as FO has done a hell of a lot for us. The only way she'd consider lending me a pony for mine would be to bring down two as the ponies she has are best friends and won't be separated and there is not enough room for 3 ponies in that field. Also if she brings one of her ponies down or I move up there, she'll always be there and trying to 'help' me which I wasn't comfortable with. :o
What would you do?



It's a valid point, I didn't see it as a rude comment just somebody asking me questions. It's fine, I know i'm over my head and I know that i'm not the best home for her. I am trying and I really am taking people's advice on board but we'll have to see what happens over time :)
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Well she hasn't done a bad job with hers has she and to be honest you don't sound 'comfortable' at the moment. It's a temporary option and one that could be of help right now. Good luck whatever you decide.
 
*MoodyMare* said:
- For now I am going to look at putting an electric fence across the field so she can get past without going through but also learning that she shouldn't go near it.
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Not like that. That's just asking for her to gallop through it again. She doesn't know about going past it. have it next to a fence to start off with so she will touch it but have no reason to be running through it.
 
lhotse said:
It does beg the question, if, by your own admission, you don't know what the hell you are doing, why the hell did you buy an unhandled and possibly in foal pony? Does you mother have any experience? I feel sorry for the pony. She must be very confused being all alone. If you can't afford to keep her properly, with the company that she needs, then maybe you need to re-evaluate if she's in the best home.
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Sadly I have to agree your way out of your depth I don't think that lady is right but is there anyone else ?

Personally I admire you for even taking on a unhandled 5 year old in the first place I really want you to be able to keep her and give her everything she needs I think you have just jumped the gun alittle.

have alook in your area and see if you can find anyone that has dealt with a unhandled horse i'm sure you'll learn a lot.

I really want to see you and missy work :)
 
Take a deep breath :) It doesn't sound like your pony is being harmed, especially considering her background. You are being inundated with 'advice' (me included!). Companions don't always have to be another pony, and imho you don't need another right now. My new girl has chickens, a couple of goats and me, is she on a constant state of alert? Well if eating, lying down, waiting to come in for her tea, calling to me when she sees me (a low whicker) is alert - then I suppose yes. Lucy was unhandled but not feral, ie she has had human contact, but had never been stabled. I do think you expect too much, she isn't bored of you but you are not central to her needs right now. Lucy can see my other horse and other ponies, she is not stressed - I'd know and most people can spot a stressed horse. Like I said take a deep breath, find someone who will able to help you sympathetically and this may not be a NH person but might be someone who takes a much more traditional approach. It's not always pretty, you might get resistance from the pony, sometimes that's how they learn. Don't give up, you were so happy with her - try some perspective :)
 
OP words of wisdom coming for age, never burn your bridges you may need to walk over that same bridge again in life. This lady whilst you feel is interferring and might not be the right person right now, but she is and has offered to help, so drop the pride, use her like she used you, you might learn a thing or two. Winters coming and life is going to get harder esp if there is a little foalie on the way too. Sometimes in fact most of the time we meet others through people who we wouldnt normally be with, you might just meet someone through her, who is going to take all your problems away. Good luck
 
Agree with this. Swallow your pride, accept her kind offer and take the opportunity of learning lots. Your pony will benefit and you'll end up doing all the things you are hoping to do with her. I'd move her there, too and I would make a point of helping out in exchange for her time spent with your pony.
There are always setbacks with horse ownership - don't be disheartened by them, it is a lifelong learning curve. : )
 
Hmmm, still not convinced that this post is not a bit, what's the word??
Elaborated...
Seems the OP has a history on here of trolling!!
 
I came on here to get advice and I'm happy with the advice I've being given. I now have to rebuild the relationship with this woman as Mum told me to slow down earlier. I've had some lovely inboxes offering advice and have being told to have a couple more weeks without the woman's help and then if no improvement I shall get this lady involved. :)

Thanks everyone x
 
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This young lady is not a troll. She was doing well with the pony before this lady came along (I know her from elsewhere)
and some of your comments have been out of order. You are judging her on a few words written down without knowing any of the people involved and I am sure you are judging her on her age. There has been some valuable advice given for which she is grateful but others have reduced her almost to tears. How can people react so differently to the same post?
 
I don't know how many times I have to say it because I'll get slated either way but this is the final time. Yes, I did troll a few years back and to be honest it was jealously and me being immature and silly. I read my old posts and I'm embarrassed and ashamed. I've apologised multiple times and was told to stop bringing it up and to drop it - which I did. Now I fully appreciate that this is an online, open forum and everyone can post what they want but calling troll when I'm being genuine is pretty upsetting to say the least! I don't know any of you personally and I'm sure you're all lovely people but I'd just rather we let this thread drop now. I got my answers and have tried to be mature about it so if you think I'm lying so be it. Thank you everyone for your help - I will keep you all posted :) x
 
Pick up the phone take a deep breath, be polite and say hello xxx you got a minute, xxxx will say yes, then just say i am sorry for sending you the text my mind was all over the show worrying about pony, and i was wondering if you would be so kind as to help me with her, and if you still want me to ride your ponies for you i will. I couldnt imagine anyone who would say no, because you have been honest, you have apologised, you have opened your heart and also offered to help her back. If it means you move pony then do it. At the end of the day everything you are doing is for the pony who right now needs it above everyone else. Have fun, let us know how you get on.
 
putasocinit said:
Pick up the phone take a deep breath, be polite and say hello xxx you got a minute, xxxx will say yes, then just say i am sorry for sending you the text my mind was all over the show worrying about pony, and i was wondering if you would be so kind as to help me with her, and if you still want me to ride your ponies for you i will. I couldnt imagine anyone who would say no, because you have been honest, you have apologised, you have opened your heart and also offered to help her back. If it means you move pony then do it. At the end of the day everything you are doing is for the pony who right now needs it above everyone else. Have fun, let us know how you get on.
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The phone was engaged and I haven't got through to her yet. I did have a cup of tea with FO and we have decided to put her yearling in with my pony a few days before and will be stabled next to the yearling in October. :)
 
*MoodyMare* said:
The phone was engaged and I haven't got through to her yet. I did have a cup of tea with FO and we have decided to put her yearling in with my pony a few days before and will be stabled next to the yearling in October. :)
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That's good. If the yearling is well handled it will do her good to have a friend and to be with one she knows come winter.
 
Gloi said:
That's good. If the yearling is well handled it will do her good to have a friend and to be with one she knows come winter.
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Yes I agree. I'm hoping she goes into the stable easily with the help of this yearling. Although she is coming on quite a bit now so she may just go in quietly? Only time will tell :)
 
Send her a text saying you are sorry, you were just being a protective young owner and you would like her help and could you meet up to chat, or better still go to her place with a packet of bikkies you can et some for 50p and eat humble pie, in other words grovel
 
putasocinit said:
Send her a text saying you are sorry, you were just being a protective young owner and you would like her help and could you meet up to chat, or better still go to her place with a packet of bikkies you can et some for 50p and eat humble pie, in other words grovel
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FO and mum think it's best that we don't get her involved as FO says she's happy to help anytime and her methods have worked over the past few days. :)

Although, I will be friendly towards the other lady and give her a card for her help :)
 
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