Trainer being a bit "heavy handed" with my horse

[Lois Lame]

I would have wished I’d said something at the time, but in fact probably wouldn’t have done.

I love it.

It fascinates me how humans behave at times. I’m a pretty confident and up front person. A few years ago a trainer I very much respected behaved in a way towards my horse that was completely unacceptable (and I’m no fluffy owner).
I’ve replayed it in my mind multiple times over the years chastising myself for what I didn’t do.

I literally said nothing. A classic case of lost for words. And felt completely unable to address it afterwards.

So I can completely appreciate how you didn’t/couldn’t speak up at the time and even avoid it now!

On the other hand I have seen plenty of professionals correct behaviour from owners horses in a fairly black and white way and seen various interpretations of what happened that got blown out of proportion.

So my sensible head would say to reanalyse what you saw. If you are sure it crossed the line of what was acceptable (but you are otherwise happy with trainer) then big pants on and have a quick word with them about what you saw. Their attitude/ response may then drive whether you trust them moving forwards. EVERYONE has off days and has done things they wish they hadn’t (some worse than others obviously!)

I think this is a great post. Start a conversation with the trainer, no pretence, no passive aggressive action, just up front and respectful. She'll then be able to say something - whatever that might be. It clears the air. It lets people know where they stand.

 

[Lois Lame]

Agree, its really hard to know how we would react to anything. For me it depends on my mood, im pretty laid-back so conflict is really irksome, but as someone else said, pmt is useful!

I froze today at the dentist upon arrival, i wanted to flight but knew i couldnt really. Totally unexpected reaction to having a huge painful tooth extracted by a dentist who’s somewhat scathing.
I really wished i had some sedalin in my bag! Grabbing hold of meditative mindset was all i could do. My body was wired with adrenaline but my mind wouldnt let me run, so i got home exhausted, with tooth still in mouth, to be extracted 5 days hence…..gotta go through it all again!

Sometimes when I don't want to be somewhere, I tell myself, "There will be a time when this has been done. Think of that time." And I feel that it helps. Yes, the dentist is drilling away there, or soon will be, but it's going to be over in a not-very-long time.

 

[Micky]

There's a vast gulf between what is expected of a pet horse and a professional's ride. Both sets of people are pretty likely to be horrified at the other's way of doing things - I won't go near my very fluffy friend's horses, (murderous beasts, they'll mow you down), and she keeps trying to feed mine polos and all sorts of rubbish (they spit them out, despite her best efforts).

If you don't want the professional chastising your horse then tell her so, or find a different rider.

There also a vast gulf between “professional” riders and good riders..All too often people are suckered into thinking someone professional is good..just because someone has labelled them professional...qualified doesn’t mean professional, riding lots of horses doesn’t mean professional, it maddens me! Joe bloggs down the road who’s dealt with horses since a child could have a better attitude and handling/riding ability than a lot !

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Joe bloggs down the road who’s dealt with horses since a child could have a better attitude and handling/riding ability than a lot !

This 100 per cent. Obviously doesn't apply to all so called professional riders and all Joe Bloggs down the road. But IME it is very often the case. Especially in recent years when we seem to have a plethora of professional riders/trainers selling their qualifications and opinions with limited actual hands on experience or time served practical knowledge behind them.

 

[Cortez]

There also a vast gulf between “professional” riders and good riders..All too often people are suckered into thinking someone professional is good..just because someone has labelled them professional...qualified doesn’t mean professional, riding lots of horses doesn’t mean professional, it maddens me! Joe bloggs down the road who’s dealt with horses since a child could have a better attitude and handling/riding ability than a lot !

In some countries being a professional rider or trainer involves having actual professional training and accreditation. Not in the UK apparently, and I agree with your observation as regards trainers in both your and my countries, but in the countries with higher standards professional does mean qualified from an accredited institution.

ETA - BHS stages really are not comparable to most European qualifications

 

[IrishMilo]

There's a vast gulf between what is expected of a pet horse and a professional's ride. Both sets of people are pretty likely to be horrified at the other's way of doing things - I won't go near my very fluffy friend's horses, (murderous beasts, they'll mow you down)

This made me laugh because it's so true. I'm not saying this is the case but this is a very possible/common scenario: professional is trying to get on with the job of untacking, horse is a rude devil who doesn't know personal boundaries, constantly tries to rub head on people, walks into you, doesn't move back when you ask etc. Trainer flicks horse away if it moves INTO personal space.

If a horse kept whacking it's head into me I'd give it a flick on the nose. It's dangerous and really irritating. There's a world of difference between going after a horse into its own space to smack it and reacting to a horse coming INTO you. It's the 'Oh stoppppp. Oh youuuu. Move overrrr. No moveeee... moveee... come on moveeeeeeee overrrrr please' people who ALWAYS have the rudest, most dangerous horses.

 

[FREESTYLER]

Can you be there all the time? Suggest tacking and untacking yourself because you have found on occasions your horse comes into your space every now and then and you want to teach her where her boundary is. Suggest you have found a great method to use which involves positive/negative reinforcement etc etc.....rather than hitting as you believe this kind of training does not have lasting effects on the horse .

 

[Flyingsolo]

Whether you felt you could say anything at the time doesn’t matter now. I absolutely would not let this person deal with my horse again. I certainly dont want someone smacking my horse round the face for any reason. That is all kinds of nope.

 

[suestowford]

The thing is, it's entirely possible to teach a horse good manners without hitting them, in my own experience that has been the case anyway. I don't like the sound of this trainer very much but I do think your plan of always being there is a good one. AT least it won't happen another time.

 

[Sandstone1]

The thing is, it's entirely possible to teach a horse good manners without hitting them, in my own experience that has been the case anyway. I don't like the sound of this trainer very much but I do think your plan of always being there is a good one. AT least it won't happen another time.

Problem is in the horse world there are still people who think you have to hit horses and dogs come to that. Its slowly changing but you will always get people that think its ok.

 

[Shilasdair]

I recently held a fellow livery's horse for the vet as a favour. The damn thing constantly advanced into my space, rubbed its head rudely on me (I say 'rubbed' but it was more like 'smashed') and wouldn't stand still. Even the vet commented on it.

Later I said to the owner that Horse had been a bit rude for the vet with his head 'Oh I always let him rub on me - I luvs him!' she said whilst demonstrating (she had to brace herself against the force of the head smashing).

My point being - one person's 'rude horse' is another person's 'cuddly babykins who luvs me so much'. If you don't like the way a trainer handles your (possibly rude) horse, find a different trainer.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

My point being - one person's 'rude horse' is another person's 'cuddly babykins who luvs me so much'. If you don't like the way a trainer handles your (possibly rude) horse, find a different trainer.

I do agree with this and have come across a few very rude and bargy ill trained cuddly babykins and I am far from a fluffy bunny myself. But having said that I have no personal knowledge of the OP or her horse but I am taking her word for exactly what happened and that her horse wasn't being rude and bargy. If what she says is factual description then I would also be blo*dy furious with the trainer.

None of my horses have EVER been allowed to get rude and invade my space without being specifically asked to come nearer for whatever reason, but I did not slap/hit one of them around the face or head - ever. Ones that have come to me minus good manners have been re trained very quickly without any resort to physical head punching, face slapping or anything more physical than a sharp nudge in the chest or neck with a well placed elbow that they 'accidentally barge' into. Consequently I have never owned a head or bridle shy horse either.

Just my gobby two penny worth as ever!