Trainers, do you prefer brutal & direct or nice & tactful?

To this training me and my horse.

My former trainer was brutal and direct. My youngster was quite frankly terrified of him. He was good at pushing me to do things on him but I didn't find him youngster friendly. It was all about riding round and round the school in the perfect outline for a full hour, holding him tight in the mouth as he 'couldn't be trusted' and using spurs on him. (Him, not me.)

My now trainer is much better for my boy, she is very nice and tactful. She makes lessons interesting for youngster(and me!), tells me to barely touch the reins and allow him to have breaks and relax throughout the hour long lesson. I cannot believe the difference in my boy. He is so much more relaxed and happy in his work. And I am enjoying riding him so much more now too.

My so-called sharp and unpredictable horse is now easy going and chilled out.
 
Since I have had lessons with "proper" trainers, ie not ones in a riding school, never really come across a problem. Yes ones I wouldnt go back to, but not so bad.

RS instructors have been awful, horrid shouty women, rude and abusive. Nice young girls who were lovely people, but awful at teaching.
 
I do think it can be a matter of experience/perception though, too. I've been to clinics with people who are famously held to be evil and just not seen it. Honest? Yes. Holding everyone to a high standard? Definitely. They are the sort of people who assume anyone coming to them wants to compete at a high level and hear it how it is. But they don't put people down for the heck of it or take it personally. They are just tough people at the tough end of the scale and I think that's necessary when the margins become smaller. They are simply not appropriate for people who ride recreationally or don't work well in that environment, and they are well trailed enough that people expecting otherwise should stay away. Fair enough.

I've also been to people who were fun, jokey people whom students flocked to but they did my head in and I didn't feel we were getting the work done. Again, personal preference.

I do also think, even though it shouldn't be so, it can be personal. Some dynamics just don't work, no matter how successful the individuals might be otherwise. In these cases there is nothing to be gained by continuing - it's not denigrating anyone to say they just don't work for you/suit your system. (Although my experience has been, on the rare occasions I've suggested a student might be happier elsewhere, it sometimes just makes them more determined to stay! :eek:)

My point is that looking for a new instructor doesn't mean you don't think your current one is "bad" or that you "can't cut it" (I'd say the same about selling a horse, by the way) it just means you'd be better suited by another situation. There's nothing wrong with trying it out, anyway.

Teaching riding is a business. Yes, I know people get very close to their instructors (I am good friends with people who have taught me and people I've taught BUT not many and certainly not all) but in the end you are paying for a service and if you're not getting it, you, as the customer, have every right to make a change.
 
I would describe more like 'firm but fair' but still able to have a laugh. My dressage trainer is a scream, but never lets you away with anything. The horse and I have improved enormously in the last year or so, and he understands I dont have an arena, so any schooling in between is on the roads, and gives suggestions of what to do.

For showjumping I use someone else who again has improved us both (well maybe me more) doesn't take any ***t but still has a laugh with us. Also, on the day i threw my toys out of the pram (mostly due to other stuff that was going on in my life and things weren't going well in the lesson) she had enough 'nouse' to leave me alone for 10 mins to sort myself out and then ask if I wanted to repeat the exercise. Thats IMO is the sign of a good teacher - realising that sometimes you need a time out (plus the look on my friends faces probably indicated that this was not a normal reaction for me).
 
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