Trying to hold it together

I'm really glad you are feeling some relief.. A burden shared doesn't lessen it, but it certainly can make it easier to bear..

I'm always at the other end of the phone whether email, forum, text or call.. Benefits of the iPhone xx
 
Well, I've had a couple of days of reasonable normality, no traumas! Back to work today, and going to do something with my own horse tomorrow, she's been a bit neglected for the last week now. Need to get back to dealing with things, one wee bit at a time.:) going to look at the Paul Mackenna CD's and press on. Need to be strong, and I will be! Thank you all xx
 
Hi Smokey really sorry to hear you are having a bad time, I hope things start to improve for you soon.

Happy to listen if you want to offload
 
I know this is a really old thread now, but I need to update. The thing that made my head nearly implode, its back, and its worse, far worse than I've spent the last nearly two years worrying about. Its been an awful few years, culminating in my marriage breaking down. And just when i relaxed, and thought the future may be looking brighter, its back, and its shattering. I cant divulge here the full extent of the situation, but i really need someone to tell me it will all be ok.
thing is, I'm so worried that the potential is there for it not to be. And it terrifies me!
sorry, I know this sounds all very cryptic.
 
smokey said:
Thank you guys, I really do just need to get a grip, but things have been so awful this week I can't see an end to it. I'm usually quite strong and just get on, but every so often you just get that feeling that you're slipping under, if you know what I mean. Your kind comments made me smile, and yes, the tea towel thing was funny! X
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The thing about getting a grip is that you need something solid to get a grip on in the first place.

So sorry to hear life isn't improving Smokey, another volunteer for unslicited PMs if you need a shoulder (I have to do something to get anyone to PM me lol) Give yourself a break.. a little treat of some kind sunds in order. xx
 
So sorry you having such a rubbish time. I went through the most appalling time a few years back and it seemed impossible that things could improve but I survived and life not only returned to normal but was better than before. I hope the same happens for you.
 
Ladyinred said:
The thing about getting a grip is that you need something solid to get a grip on in the first place.

So sorry to hear life isn't improving Smokey, another volunteer for unslicited PMs if you need a shoulder (I have to do something to get anyone to PM me lol) Give yourself a break.. a little treat of some kind sunds in order. xx
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nothing solid here, ladyinred! Wish there was.
i cant send a pm from my phone, can reply, but cant send:(
honestly, however bad things have seemed, this is the worst, nothing even comes close.
i need to do something, but don't know what!
thanks for the kind words :)
 
Yep, this is all pretty cryptic, but I couldn't just read and run.

You can get through this. You are still standing now after what happened two years ago, so you know you have the strength you need. It sounds like you are thinking through the worse-case scenarios which is absolutely normal. It may be a long road, but get your boots on and turn your face to the future.
 
Magnetic Sparrow said:
Yep, this is all pretty cryptic, but I couldn't just read and run.

You can get through this. You are still standing now after what happened two years ago, so you know you have the strength you need. It sounds like you are thinking through the worse-case scenarios which is absolutely normal. It may be a long road, but get your boots on and turn your face to the future.
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thank you, I am usually very strong and pick myself up and get things done. This, however is not something I can control, or stop. And if the worst case scenario comes to fruition, lives are going to be ruined.
I know, more cryptic! i guess people will read between the lines!
 
I don't know what it is but by the tone of your post it sounds like something that is very hard to deal with. I really hope you find the strength and support you need at this difficult time.
I've had a really cr*p time in the last month or so with my Nan losing her life in a car accident, then this week losing two of our pets in two days. I was quite overwhelmed by the support on here and from strangers it really does help.
Stay positive and PM me if you want to offload and share. Take care xx
 
Also want to say hope you're ok. Take things an hour at a time. Whatever it is that is causing you to feel like this will resolve even if it doesn't feel like it. Take care and look after yourself. Is there something that helped last time ?
 
So sorry to hear this Smokey, the thing is though that you just need to live in this very moment, try not to worry about the next five minutes, never mind the next weeks or months. I find it helps me to do this, because at this very moment in time I am usually coping, and it is surprising how those minutes build up and you gradually get through things.

I don't know about your issues, but the one certainty is that nothing stays the same, and things will change for the better and it is these awful experiences that build us into stronger people. Sending huge hugs from me, and happy to chat if you need to. Take care, xx
 
Thank you guys, for the support, here and by pm. This is really the worst thing that has ever happened. Nearly two years ago, we thought our world was falling apart, but as time went on, i guess we relaxed a bit, although we knew it may come back to bite us. Its bitten, and its not letting go. There is nothing i can do except stay strong, try to be positive, and hope it all turns out ok.
and I promise, when its all over, I will stop being cryptic, and explain all. At the moment I cant post publicly anymore than I have.
 
No need to go into the ins and outs of anything smokey, I just hope you know that we are here for you if you need us (I'm sure other posters won't mind me saying that) The thing is that sometimes we just need a bit of metaphoric hand holding, whatever it is that is worrying us and affecting our lives so badly. I know you have a lot going on at the minute, but perhaps it is all just like a big spot that is coming to a head and needs to burst (yuk!) Awful at the time, but once it's out of the way then the healing will begin.
 
oh, Smokey, so sorry to read this. I feel I 'know' you a bit from your posts and you are such a strong person, this must be an awful situation and very, very scary. Don't know what to say, apart from just focus on taking one step at a time with compassion for yourself. Easy for those of us not affected, to say, I know. But said with great sympathy and compassion. x x
 
tobiano said:
oh, Smokey, so sorry to read this. I feel I 'know' you a bit from your posts and you are such a strong person, this must be an awful situation and very, very scary. Don't know what to say, apart from just focus on taking one step at a time with compassion for yourself. Easy for those of us not affected, to say, I know. But said with great sympathy and compassion. x x
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thank you so much. The support here is amazing! It means a lot, everyone of you is a star!
 
smokey said:
thank you, I am usually very strong and pick myself up and get things done. This, however is not something I can control, or stop. And if the worst case scenario comes to fruition, lives are going to be ruined.
I know, more cryptic! i guess people will read between the lines!
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Being or feeling as if life is out of control can be scary. Bit being scared doesn't mean that bad things will definitely happen. I'm a believer in trying not to worry about the things you can't change.

As for lives being ruined... Ruined can mean the same as destroyed and sometimes when something is destroyed it leaves room for a fresh start from scratch and the end result of that can eventually turn out to be better than the thing that was destroyed.
 
Sugar_and_Spice said:
Being or feeling as if life is out of control can be scary. Bit being scared doesn't mean that bad things will definitely happen. I'm a believer in trying not to worry about the things you can't change.

As for lives being ruined... Ruined can mean the same as destroyed and sometimes when something is destroyed it leaves room for a fresh start from scratch and the end result of that can eventually turn out to be better than the thing that was destroyed.
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unfortunately, ruined is the correct word to describe this situation. I also believe we shouldn't worry about a day that will never come, but this day will come, and more will follow it.
in this case, I cant help but worry, even though it wont change the possible outcome. No matter what that outcome is, its going to be traumatic for all concerned.
 
Sometimes you have to except that what you don't want to happen no matter how hard you try will happen and you have to do damage limitation as much as possible, so don't try and put it on the back burner, if what you say is going to happen, try and get ahead of the trouble that you say is coming your way.
 
Echo Bravo said:
Sometimes you have to except that what you don't want to happen no matter how hard you try will happen and you have to do damage limitation as much as possible, so don't try and put it on the back burner, if what you say is going to happen, try and get ahead of the trouble that you say is coming your way.
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that is exactly what we're going to do echo bravo,this has just floored us today, and i have a member of my immediate family visualising his life slipping away. Come Monday, I will be fighting his corner, and never giving up, but today is a day for despair I'm afraid. :(
 
Sounds very scary whatever is happening with you and your family. Sending you best wishes to get through what sounds like very tough times ahead.
 
Again, thank you all for your kind words and support. You have all honestly got me through today. I have been so upset, then I come on here, and you give me strength. Hard times are ahead, definitely, but I will fight, and I wont give up, and we will get through this. Thanks again, you are all awesome!
 
smokey said:
Thank you guys, I really do just need to get a grip, but things have been so awful this week I can't see an end to it. I'm usually quite strong and just get on, but every so often you just get that feeling that you're slipping under, if you know what I mean. Your kind comments made me smile, and yes, the tea towel thing was funny! X
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Feel your pain...and can share a stupid 'tea towel' moment of my own after a hugely stressful few weeks....

In the space of 15mins I managed to put catfood in the washing machine powder draw, two dirty glasses meant for the dishwasher on the shelf of the fridge and tripped over the cat while carrying a basket of wet washing. It's funny now but at the time I just sat there and cried!!

Sympathy and do pm if you want to chat.
 
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