splashgirl45
Lurcher lover
Well I happened upon the perfect lurcher pup, from a good breeder rather than a dodgy source too. Also ready just as I finish work for the summer. Hits the criteria on every front and even is the quietest and most laid back in the litter.
…but as the possibility was to become a reality I felt m, for want of a better phrasing, very dishonest and disloyal to Cooper, so didn’t pursue past initial discussions. It is utterly ridiculous I know, completely. I find myself increasingly surprised by myself really as I am never this mawkish, I have always either added another pup or gone on a waiting list for one very shortly after losing a dog, and always encouraged others to do the same but this time It feels very different. OH and I discussed this evening and she suggested maybe it is all a bit like shock from going from him being fine, then the next day struggling with his legs, to be at the vets the following day and then dead ten days later after probably the most harrowing and awful journey to the end.
I question my own judgement too as should have PTS sooner rather than exhausting options and investigations to try find a resolve, when I think I knew in my heart the writing was on the wall, but I simply couldn’t give up on him at just eight - and I think that sort of blame/questioning of judgement also plays hugely into not being able to consider another pup. I do blame myself a little, and for not seeing anything sooner when clearly he must have been unwell but not really showing anything - for a while, this year has been so consumed by covid and long covid and the poor bugger just lay by me throughout the whole thing, and I didn’t even happen to notice.
I am a firm believer in that we have such different relationships with each different dig and whilst I love my other two, my relationship with them is very very different to how it was with him. Alas, dogs eh. I think it is safe to say 2021 has thus far not been the most brilliant!
sorry for moaning again, but my usual go to dog friends and family members for discussion are all really well meaning but conversations with them just get shot down with ‘but you must at least start to think about another’
i really feel for you as, even though my collie cross was 15 my heart is questioning whether i should have tried to keep her going but my head knows it was the right thing to do....i now feel guilty that i didnt realise how bad she was earlier in the day and could have spared her the car journey to the emergency vets....luckily i had got a terrier pup in september so my other terrier had someone to play with and my old girl could have a more peaceful life. we all need time to get used to what has happened and when i have lost previous dogs i have never got another straight away, it was usually about 6 months after, so just do what you feel is best. there is no right or wrong.. hugs xx