Very worried about my old girl.

Errin Paddywack said:
She has gone, only took half the dose to send her on her way so very ready to go. Euthanasia vet was fantastic and the chap who came with her has actually trained his dog at our club in the past so looked familiar. Her breath smelt dreadful so I suspect it was acute kidney failure. The other two have seen her so they know what has happened. Can't remember the last time I felt this bad except when Michael died.
I was telling the vet about Tess, the difficult collie I have foolishly taken on and it seems her latest collie has much the same problems, also started when she had her first season. She is like me always had farm dogs and never a problem till this one. She has put her on fluoxetine which she says has really improved her and suggests I see if I can try Tess on it. Worth a try I guess.
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A thousand hugs to you, you will be in my thoughts.
You are the sort of owner dogs would choose for themselves were they granted that luxury.
Much love 💖
 
Just come on to see how things were. I'm very sad for you EP. It must be unbearable. She was a great age and much loved though. RIP Jesse. Thinking of you EP xxx
 
Still getting coincidences connecting her death with Michael's. He died on a Friday, so did she, undertakers collected him on Sat, I am taking her to the crem this morning, Sat. Just carried her out to the car for her last journey. I so wanted her to wake up. Even at her age and fragile she still got so excited if she knew we were getting the sheep in, would be running in mad circles in anticipation. I only had to open the gates into the yard and she knew instantly. She always insisted on being in the yard with us to help push them out into the pens, usually getting in the way to be honest. At the moment I am actively disliking Tess, I am not allowed to be upset, she barks furiously at me and the only way I can shut her up is to shut her outside where she is at present. This is the worst I think I have ever felt apart from losing Michael and I have lost so many very well loved animals.

We got Jesse after we lost our first collie who Michael adored. Took him several months to consider another. We did have two others at the time but I needed another while they were still able to cope with a pup.. Anyway when he did come round to the idea I saw an advert for a litter of impending pups reasonably locally so contacted the owner and were invited to meet her and the parents. Both dogs took to us immediately which was in our favour and we were approved for a pup. I was sent a pic of the bitch's scan when she was confirmed in pup and amazingly the last day of mating had been my birthday. Pups arrived on 31 July when we were at a show and got the call there. Only downside was that there was only one bitch pup and she had a white face. Personally I didn't care but Michael was not keen. We were sent photos and videos of her from birth right through her puppyhood. We went to see her at 3 weeks and found a very self contained pup who declined to have anything to do with us. I felt really hurt as I had bonded with her photos. She was the same when we revisited at 6 weeks until I went to her and rolled her on her back and tickled her tummy. Complete change then and made up to both of us. We collected her near the end of Sept and she was brilliant from day one.

She was with us through the death of my mother, subsequent sale of the home that had been in our family for 80 years and move to my current tiny bungalow. Was with us through the deaths of our other two collies and three horses, my retirement and getting Maddie. Then covid and worst of all losing Michael. She was a huge help with the sheep and took me to G5 in agility, the sweetest easiest dog to live with, you could take her anywhere with no problem. She loved people and when she was younger would greet her best friends by hugging them. She got her Bronze, Silver and Gold Good Citizen Awards by the time she was 15 months old.

She had such a sweet, kind face and I soon got to love her white face and one black eye, Michael always said it should have been al white or both sides black, I liked it as it was and oh I am missing it. Best dog I have ever had and the one I would choose to have back if it was possible.

She was enthralled by my friend's duck and spent hours just watching her, pic attached.

Jesse.jpgIMG1179A.jpg
 
What beautiful words Errin.
I understand well how you are grieving not only her, but how she was a living link to Michael and to those wonderful years the three of you shared.
Your love for both of them shines through every line. Nothing to say that can ease the raw pain, so just sending you a hug.
 
Such a beautiful face with unusual markings. It is so hard to go through loss, especially linked so heavily with another dear loss, you have all the hugs you need and my sympathy Errin. Tess likely senses your upset and due to her behaviour background you’ve explained, releases that as stress barking. It’s ok to just let her have some time on her own when you need space right now.
It’s love to hear the story of how Jesse, you and Michael eventually won over each others hearts when she was a pup. My best dog was a bit of a touch and go at the beginning pup time too, but she also astounded us with her development, friendliness, loyalty and deep love of farm life.
May the shared love between you all give you strength during these days 🫂
 
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