What are your funniest/fail competition moments

[doodle]

Doing a novice dressage test. Came to the medium canter down the long side. Decided as it was going well I was really going to go for it. Horse stepped on the end of one of the white boards. The board then lifted up and spun round towards us. I landed on the other side of the area on the ground, and me , horse and judge all had the take a second to work out what on earth had just happened.

 

[Cowpony]

I was stewarding at a show and was looking after the youngstock class. There was a little yearling, which for the sake of anonymity we'll call "Speedy" (his name alluded to something fast). In the individual trot up Speedy refused to trot, his handler tugged on the foal slip, which promptly came off, and Speedy was running around the arena - which was luckily fenced all round. We got him eventually.......

Also was stewarding the Best Child Handler class. Some over-ambitious parents had decided that their 7 year-old daughter would look like a great handler if she led around a 14-hand cob built like the proverbial. He got a bit excited and she was struggling to control him, but doing a reasonable job. I asked her if she was OK and she smiled at me so I thought gutsy kid and let her carry on. The next time she came past me the cob was even more lively, I asked again if she was OK and she came towards me. She had tears pouring down her face and I realised that what I had taken for a smile last time round had actually been a rictus of fear! I grabbed the cob's bridle, asked the handler if she wanted to leave, and got them both to the mother, who only then decided to come in all concerned......If they had given her a smaller pony she'd probably have won as she was a good little handler, and they actually had a smaller pony with them.

One of my first dressage tests my mare (who is a jumping pony really) jumped the boards. We should have been eliminated, but we jumped back in quickly and the judge was kind to us.

Oh and I also arrived at a venue to find that I had forgotten to throw my kit bag into the lorry. That would be the bag with my helmet and gloves in......I knew nobody there, so couldn't ask to borrow any, and it was a small venue with no shop. Luckily I had managed to put my husband's helmet in, and when I picked it up I discovered a pair of gloves rolled up inside. I have a pin head and look like a mushroom in my helmet at the best of times. I pulled everything as tight as I could on the 6-sizes too big helmet, tried to hold the reins as best I could with 2 inches of glove sticking out beyond the ends of my fingers, and did the whole test expecting the judge to beep her horn at any moment and tell me I couldn't do the test like that as it was dangerous. Was absolutely amazed to get through the whole thing without being stopped.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

The first intro test I did on my Warmblood mare was a total disaster she was really hot in the warm up just wouldn't walk or trot just wanted to canter on the spot, previously this horse had jumped affiliated so I think she thought she was gonna jump.

Got in the indoor school to do test and I did most of the test in collected canter or bunny hopping I did go wrong but the judge came out and tried to help me, in the end I gave up and the comments on my sheet were hilarious.

It went like, oh dear Elizabeth it really wasn't your day today was it but I commend you for sticking with it considering your horse looked like she was going to explode so very well done and very well ridden.

Needless to say I didn't do another test for a very long time.

 

[WelshD]

I've had more than my fair share off a55hole ponies..

One would probably be worth a fortune these days, purest white with a gorgeous face ...BUT he had one flaw - he could sniff out a sense of occasion - he would win a first ridden class, stand at the head of the line, eyeball the judge approaching with the red rosette then flop down and roll complete with rider - cue elimination and the walk of shame. The bigger the occasion the bigger his plans He once bucked the rider off at Equifest after three minutes, a move so predicted that we actually had a sweepstake on the number of minutes it would take.

However THIS has to be my favourite ever picture of any of my ponies, it just sums up the antics that the rider had to put up with from my various bargain buys

 

[doodle]

Or the test (same horse) where he couldn’t possibly go to either end of arena. We got 7s for the middle bits and 3s for the ends. Comment was “try to make better use of arena”.

 

[Tarragon]

I had a rival at Pony Club, back in the 70's. She always used to beat me. Then one year, I borrowed a whizzy Ex-Prince Philip Cup pony for the summer and finally I had my moment. I had seen her jump her round in the show jumping with a pole down, then it was my turn, and I went in and basically just pointed said pony at each jump and went for it, getting faster and faster after each jump, and I had jumped clear!!! I was ecstatic - until I found out I was disqualified for not riding back through the between flags!

 

[TheChestnutThing]

I've had more than my fair share off a55hole ponies..

One would probably be worth a fortune these days, purest white with a gorgeous face ...BUT he had one flaw - he could sniff out a sense of occasion - he would win a first ridden class, stand at the head of the line, eyeball the judge approaching with the red rosette then flop down and roll complete with rider - cue elimination and the walk of shame. The bigger the occasion the bigger his plans He once bucked the rider off at Equifest after three minutes, a move so predicted that we actually had a sweepstake on the number of minutes it would take.

However THIS has to be my favourite ever picture of any of my ponies, it just sums up the antics that the rider had to put up with from my various bargain buys


View attachment 102650

totally saw this on sh1teventers this morning

 

[SEL]

I was running around being a helper for a pony club dressage day once. They were doing the tests in a fenced outdoor arena.

This little girl comes in on a pony that's too big for her and she's really just steering around the test. Pony pops into canter and keeps going. Clears the external fence with ease and very calmly took his little rider back to where the trailers were parked. Judge and writer were in hysterics. I knew the writer and she said they'd spent most of the morning thinking of tactful ways to describe little girls trying hard on ponies who were being little *******

 

[Sleipnir]

On my first ever showjumping show I suddenly realised in the middle of the course that I've no idea where the next jump is. So I sat up tall, smiled wide and cantered in the complete opposite direction, until I finally saw the jump, made a sharp turn and resumed my course, all while wondering why I wasn't disqualified yet.

A friend that had been sitting close to the judges' booth later relayed that they were perplexed over my confident smile and decided that I must have a special strategy to finish the course faster.....yet I finished clean, but last. ???

Another time we were at a new venue and my gelding was afraid of the bright jumps, so he was being extremely slow/napping. Although we finished clean, I was beetroot red all through the course, as spectators were loudly cheering us up with "Faster, horsey, you can do it!"

 

[dorsetladette]

Fell off in a lead rein lap of honour and handler (my dad) didn't notice. I ended up running after him and Shetland pony shouting at him to wait for me.

Little grey section A in a first ridden individual show bucked going into canter leaving white hair the back of my hat. Lost our Ponies UK ticket that day - can't think why!
Same pony would leg it in hand if she saw an open gate in the ring. I learnt to throw the rope over her withers and shift out the way as she invariably cow kicked on the way past. parents stood either side of the ring exit to grab the pony.

Section B stallion used cross his legs and lean back (stretching) if stood in the line up for any length of time. got the judges attention regularly.

 

[ihatework]

I got bucked off asking for canter at X once. Embarrassing as it was at a BD regional and not a particularly extravagant buck!

I also jumped the bonnet of a car once going xc on a rather out of control pony ?

 

[frazzled]

Horse did an enormous wee at the final halt of a test. Judge wrote in comments very nice test although your horse seemed mightily relieved when it was over.

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

On the flip side (not sure if I should admit this ?):

I was judging some mixed unaffiliated classes and one of the classes was Young Handler. I'm not a fan of kids but being the professional I am I just smiled and got on with it. The first kid that walked into the ring had a really smarmy, cocky smile and strut on her and if that wasn't enough to annoy me she was also wearing country boots not short joddy boots.

So as we go through the walk and trot round I am trying to think of a way to flummox this kid so I could legitimately not have her win the class - because in fairness she was very good at what she was doing she just got my back up right from the word go. I always pull these kind of classes in in any order so in they all filed. And as I looked along the line up mu genius plan came to me! The first child and pony out was a wee plaited thing so I asked the kid to pick up the near fore hoof for me. The kid did as instructed. Next pony out was also plaited so same instructions again, pick up the foot. 3rd pony out as the smarmy kid but her pony was not plaited. So I asked her to lift her ponies forelock. Being the cocky little madam that she was she didn't listen to what I said and picked up her ponies foot. In my head I was screaming hallelujah and doing a victory dance, on the outside I smiled sweetly and said "no dear, the forelock please, your ponies fringe". I did this all the way down the line plaited ponies picked up a foot, unplaited lifted the forelock.

We had got about half way through the line up and a lad and plaited pony came and stood in front of me. He asked his pony to stand nicely, then gave it a quick neck scratch and said thank you to it. I asked him to pick up a foot and as he went to do so the pony put its head down to eat grass. So he pulled it'd head back up and went for the foot again. Same thing. Pony put its head down to eat. So he lifted it and then asked me if I would hold his pony for him whilst he picked up its foot. I obliged, he picked up the foot, patted the pony for behaving finally and then went and did his walk and trot. When he stopped to salute he walked away giving his pony more pats and was constantly talking to it. Same in the line up, he kept whispering in his ponies ear.

The class carried on quite normally as they do and I sent everyone out for a final walk round. Lots of screams, shouts for joy and tears were shed outside of the ring when I pulled the young lad and his grass earing pony in first. The smarmy kid I placed 5th. This was not well received but she didn't listen to instructions and spent most of the class bragging to the kid next to her about how she always won young handler classes and today would be no different. I don't think she realised she was talking plenty loud enough for me to hear.

Out if 9 kids and ponies in that class 2 kids, only 2, patted their ponies or talked to them in the ring. Everyone else just lead theirs round like they were taking an inanimate object for a walk.

 

[Julia0803]

My then, non jumping, ten year old son had been persuaded to do a 50/60cm class. (I think it was his last attempt at ‘competitive’ jumping before swapping to dressage where he was much happier and more successful ?).

He was persuaded because coblet was normally a saint and knew his job, and would trundle round clear, but with as minimal speed as rider allowed.

However, this competition was at a local college EC outdoor arena… in the bottom left corner there is an aviary complete with peacocks… Coblet had been in that arena once before and hadn’t been too worried by the aviary. I was not predicting any issues. I was wrong.

Saintly pony said, no, absolutely no way am I jumping the jump in the bottom corner of the school, in line with the pretty-monster-bird. No blooming way.

As it was a local, encouraging show, the steward suggested I go in and help him get over it, just for both of their confidence to end on a good note…

I was practically dragging all 500kg of him in a most reluctant trot towards this jump. I was red faced and puffing and so focussed on getting him over the blooming thing, complete with now somewhat tearful child on board, I tripped over the jump, and face planted into the surface. It was not dignified.

Spectators were in hysterics, not one to be defeated, I raised my head, mouthful of sand, and hollered, ‘keep going, kick on!!!!’

Coblet happily pooped over the final jump as if nothing had happened… child desperately trying not to cry…

The walk of shame out of the arena…