What helps you when you are nervous?

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As per title really. What do you find helps with with overcoming nerves about doing things with your horses (both on the ground or ridden)?
 
Just doing what I feel I want to. No one can pressure me to do anything, and if I don't think I will enjoy it then I look at what I could do to bridge the gap between what I am happy doing now and what I want to do.

I tend to over prepare, so for a show on a new horse I will have lunged, long reined and ridden at home, hacked, hired an arena and lunged, long reined and ridden at several arena hires. Then have a RC lesson with a few horses that are all under the control of the trainer, before venturing onto a collecting ring, having arranged an early time or a time just after a break.


For hacking we went out in hand, with someone on a bike, with someone in a car.... before going it alone.


Just so no step is too big to feel comfortable.
 
When riding I find singing really helps. The wheels on the bus is good as it can go on for ever, you can't be tense and sing at the same time. Also taking a deep breath and having a slump helps.
 
I try to slow everything down in my head and concentrate on the present moment, where I am, what I can see, how my body feels, taking each moment one by one and not rushing to do anything. I like to leave plenty of time even if I am way too early because nothing gets me more wound up than having to hurry and then I don't have the time or space to compose myself.
 
Slow breathing, rescue remedy, taking things at my pace, setting achievable goals but most of all recently I have been following a guy called Karl Greenwood, his audio and printed book have really helped me think about and challenge some of my fears. It's not a miracle, but it sure has helped me a lot
 
I once read that imagining yourself as a more capable/confident person helped.

When hacking out on my tricky/reactive mare, if I knew a potentially explosive situation was coming up (horses/cows running round a field) I would imagine I was Mary King approaching the water at Badminton. Worked wonders for me!
 
Singing lol. Ive done it for years.... badly of course :) but I think it helps you breathe properly and helps to stop me getting uptight. I recently moved yards and the downside is having to cross a very scary motorway bridge to get anywhere. I sang 'I will survive' as we walked over ha ha.
 
Def singing as previously said, not sure my horse likes it much, ears twitching but it ends up making me laugh, which in turn makes me relax..esp when belting out badly n discovering a cyclist or walker behind or in front of you..also pretending your horse is a dog or cat, how would you handle them..re enact it to your horse..
 
Getting on with it! No procrastinating or trying to talk myself out of things.

For instance, yesterday we'd planned to check out a bridleway we hadn't ridden before. I think because it was 'new' to me, it made me feel really nervous beforehand. It would have been very easy for me to find a reason not to go i.e. too windy, too many cyclists about, she looks a little stiff today etc etc...

But instead of backing out I asked the OH if he'd come with us on foot. I'm so glad I didn't back out because it was one of the best rides I've had for years. My lovely old mare was so up for it and we had a whale of a time exploring the new route.

Also, and I know this sounds bonkers, but if I start to feel nervous once I'm on board I put both reins in one hand and ride cowboy style for a few strides. Just reassuring myself that my horse has no intention of running off with me is a good confidence booster.

Lots of deep breathing helps too. :)
 
southerncomfort said:
Getting on with it! No procrastinating or trying to talk myself out of things.

For instance, yesterday we'd planned to check out a bridleway we hadn't ridden before. I think because it was 'new' to me, it made me feel really nervous beforehand. It would have been very easy for me to find a reason not to go i.e. too windy, too many cyclists about, she looks a little stiff today etc etc...

But instead of backing out I asked the OH if he'd come with us on foot. I'm so glad I didn't back out because it was one of the best rides I've had for years. My lovely old mare was so up for it and we had a whale of a time exploring the new route.

Also, and I know this sounds bonkers, but if I start to feel nervous once I'm on board I put both reins in one hand and ride cowboy style for a few strides. Just reassuring myself that my horse has no intention of running off with me is a good confidence booster.

Lots of deep breathing helps too. :)
Click to expand...

Was just going to write almost the same as this! Cowboy riding for some reason fills me with confidence, also not reading about other people's mad horses on here or fb has helped me.
 
Goldenstar said:
Training within a system .
That’s what gives confidence .
Both the rider and the horse .
Click to expand...

Totally agree. Doesn't need to be a "branded " system as lots of people seem to cling to, but systematic consistent & methodical training really helps. Just keeping on keeping on.
 
Doing it without giving myself a chance to over think or change my mind. I don't jump much so when I do I just go for it and then look surprised when I succeed (success is classified as still being on).

I'm a pretty confident rider and I think it springs from a trust in my horse and a general view nothing is going to go wrong. In my experience with horses if you think something is going to go wrong it probably will and if you think it won't, it probably won't; something to do with transmitting tension and lack of confidence to the horse I guess.
 
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