What NOT to find out hacking...

M

MerryMaker

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All of the following have been found by me and my pony out hacking. No wonder the poor bugger doesn't do hacking alone...

1- A scarecrow on a bridle way dressed up as Santa Clause in bloomin' MARCH
2- A horse and carriage
3- A whopping great big daddy of an EAGLE on a big glove on a man
4- A funeral.
5- A small child on a yellow spacehopper bouncing down the road
6- A life size Darlic in a front garden

Any additions to this list?
 
I'd add...
1- A man in a field next to the bridleway playing bagpipes...(in Kent!)
2. A plane, with wings removed, being towed down the road
3. A plane taking off within 30 feet of us and going over our heads
 
Bunch of scary lads in a souped up Range Rover who shoot past at 70 mph and then stop and get out the car threatening to thump you when you wave to tell them to slow down. Not nice
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And non ASBO related ones - snow, white vans, white dogs, anything white (don't ask!) plus agree with the horse and carriage - very scary
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A plane crash landing just metres away is my best! Of course then followed by all mannor of ambulance and police etc. Bloddy thing took days to repair to.

Can't said said pony battered an eye lid - Oh for ponies again!!

The very quite little village I used to ride through was a bit of a nightmare, house one clearly had a teenager which every night plratised playying the drums - unbelievable loud! Few doors down was this dog, infact I believe it could well have been bigger then the pony I used to ride pass it on, and this dog hated people and horses passing and let it be known!
 
1. A forklift truck trying to pick up a one-ton sand-sack with its forks. Astonishingly, the sand-sack slithered between the forks, slapped onto the floor, and my life flashed before my eyes as Brandy elevated into a hugely collected GUNNNA-BOLT-NOW! riverdance (but she didn't bolt, and I didn't die, so it all worked out quite well).
2. A car battery sat on a garden wall. Terrifying. Same life-flashing-bolt-riverdance scenario.
3. A McDonald's cup in the hedge. As above.
4. A wheely bin. As above.
5. A combine harvester rattling within an inch of my stirrup. Didn't bat an eyelid.
 
a doll that looked like Chucky - horse refuse to walk past it.
It looked like it was going to jump out and attack me and my boy.
Ever since then (well that and watching IT) i have a huge phobia of clowns lol
 
1.A drunken lady , sedately squatting ,pants on her ankles ,urinating and trying to be chatty in a hedge as we passed
2. A small helium balloon landing behind the saddle ,then going aloft and landing again as I tried to capture it
3. A territorial Rhea bird [later killed by dogs]
4. A DEAD decomposing former Rhea left to become compost near the trail
5. A panicked fat man on a sinking inner tube trying to get to the shore of a small brook .Lots of splashing and bubbles from the punctured floatie .And acres of pale , white shaking flesh ........
 
A dead, flat carboard box that suddenly is given life and lift by a strong breeze...just as we were about to walk past it (eeek)

A suicide note with empty pill packets and empty water bottles strewn around, but no body...
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I was out on my TB when we were hit by a kite that has got tangled in a telephone wire, it sort of swooped down at us sideways, poor thing just stood and shook. This was after the 2 headed labrador and a peacock in the road.

We used to have to ride past a place where all the circus animals went for the winter and often there were camels out in the field and there was supposed to be lions and tigers there too.
 
2 screaming RAf jets practicing ultra low flying right over our heads.

My horse thought got to run from that but don't know which way to go as it seems to be coming from every direction. so the only way is up.
 
1. Shooters. Cantering over the brow of a hill on a farm track coming face to face with a heap of men shooting birds, they saw me yet STILL decided to start shooting 2 seconds later!! I was on my extremely trustworthy, 100% bombproof pony who did an immediate 180 and put a front hoof through the fence and panicked. I managed to leap off and free him and thank hell he was fine, but did the men help?! Did the men even apologise?! Nope. I was only about 13 as well.
2. Cows. Have been bolted with twice because of them (once through a barbed wire fence - horse still bears the scars). They're the reason I chose never to hack one of mine every again alone!
3. Pheasants. One flew out from under ponies feet, poor pony only stepped sideways in response but unfortunately we stepped off into mid-air! We fell off a rather large bank at the side of the road onto a rusty barbed wire fence below... She ended up with a huge gash on a hind leg and a bleeding nose
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4. Lawnmowers. Petrifying things for any horse usually!
5. Cyclists. They always creep up behind you ready to scare the living crap out of the horse (and you)

Thankfully I made the choice to no longer hack so no longer come across spooky things very often - galloping round XC is far less stressful than hacking IMO!!
 
Here in wild and dangerous Cape Town, we have many equine predators.

Most commonly sighted are the vicious African Green Hose Pipe, the Lesser Plastic Bag (AKA The national flower of South Africa) and the Fanged Small Child With Those Shoes That Squeak When You Walk.

The deadly Lesser Orange Traffic Cone seems to only attack Thoroughbreds, predominately mares, whereas the Common Parked Bicycle doesn't discriminate and will eat ANYTHING with four legs.

The most unfortunate experience was when my spectacularly neurotic TB mare had an encounter with the Greater Spotted Paddock Mate. Not everyone likes Appaloosas...
 
[ QUOTE ]
Two grown men in fancy dress - one dressed up as an
angel and one as a nun


[/ QUOTE ]
How funny!! Love it!
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He he!

Its not so much the killer cows (the brown ones but occasionally they hide as friesians) that does it, and roadworks and police cars screaming past you are all normal. Its the squishy bit of mud you have to step over (or through) to get on with your hack, the alternative being a 5k detour, thats the real threat in life, and to be avoided at all costs! Ditto mini ditches that I could step over myself, and any sort of clear shallow stream 2" deep, with the perfect underfoot surface.
 
A recent hack:

1. A trampoline complete with noisy bouncey children
2. An abandoned spacehopper
3. Roadworks complete with half humans sticking out of large hole.
4. Half-naked (well I think it was only half
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) rather nice young man leaning out of upstairs window saying "what a lovely sight"
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Passed all the above with no more than a snort, so decided to go home along a quiet bridleway when we came across:
5. The horse-killing, fire-breathing, OMG it's just so scarey..... upturned wheelbarrow frame
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. Have to admit that I decided to live for another day and turned round and went back past 1. 2. & 3. (sadly 4. was no longer there) with a sigh of relief from both me and horsey.
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[ QUOTE ]
A man in a field mid-poo.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yuk!

Giant inflatable Santa and a Snowman
A couple bonking
A naked jogger - he wasn't a pretty sight either
 
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