What NOT to find out hacking...

an armoured tank being driven down the road
unacceptable level of dark patches on road (just wet but madam doesnt like getting her tiptoes wet
a 12.2 pony being mounted by a much bigger stallion in the middle of the bridleway
piggies
sheep before shearing as they are monsters
sheep after shearing as they are still monsters but now different monsters
the 60 or so cattle I have to lead my pone thru to access our best hacking (which to be fair is fab hacking)
 
a strangely parked car... with hosepipe attached to exhaust... and yes, you've guessed... very upset lady inside!!!
Had to call for help, and lady was excorted home safely. Got a lovely bunch of flowers from very relieved husband the next day....
 
1. Skate boarding child - not that unusual BUT face down lying flat on skateboard coming out of their sloping driveway not looking at road right in front of ex racehorse's hooves - who just look surprised as she went past and he walked on!
2. Hot air balloon landing in field
3. Steam traction engine
4. WWII re-enactment on village green - horsey enjoyed that one, we had a chat with them. Thought it was good practice for county shows!
Will keep a look out for naked joggers in future.
 
With my mare it was . . .

1. Menacing Manhole covers
2. Water of any description, in any recepticle
3. Bicycles - 2 wheeled harbingers of death
4. Buggies - you never know what terror lurks within
5. Rabbits - suspiciously quick and well camouflaged
6. Sponsored Walk - I saw my life, and those of one or 2 of the walkers flash before my eyes!!
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Erm ... a dead body! Well not found by me personally but by someone I know.

On a lighter note - the word 'STOP' was painted on the road after some roadworks. It wasn't there last time we rode that way and my friends horse just wouldn't walk over it !
 
Two men acting out scenes from Star Wars complete with Light Sabres and making the noise too. They assured me they were just trying out the kids Christmas presents, to make sure they worked! Yeah right! I was PMSL!

Star found it highly interesting but didn't lower herself by bothering to shy. I wonder what that horse has seen during her life to take it so calmly!
 
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A plane crash landing just metres away is my best! Of course then followed by all mannor of ambulance and police etc. Bloddy thing took days to repair to.

Can't said said pony battered an eye lid - Oh for ponies again!!

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We had a similar problem. Used to have to hack across a small airfield runway to get to the common. Made it to the common safely but when we tried to get home we were greeted with a wonderful sight... Plane had clearly crash landed and burst into flames. Numerous firemen, engines and ambulances as well as the alight wreckage and no other way home. After a lot of dancing my TB took a deep breath and raced past followed closely behind by my friend's WB. Never have I been more thankful to get home in one piece.
 
I had a hot air balloon land in the field next to me.
A helicopter land next to me! (The horse was only 4, and didn't bat an eyelid - I thought I was going to die - then he shied at a drain cover, and I nearly came off!)
A battle re-inactment
Have been joined by a herd of deer whilst galloping (lost stirrup, jumped ditch, took far too long to pull up - wished for hip flask!)
Invisible gremlins - some rides I go on there are loads of these in the woods - and yes, they do eat horses.
 
The Police digging up the common near Tweseldown..... looking for a man (and finding him) who had been murdered and buried....... head and hands in one hole and torso and legs in another
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With my mare being so spooky I have a very long list ranging from plants, sheep and scary gremlins! Although tractors, milk tanker and harrier jets etc not a problem!!

Although the funniest was going round the bend both my mare and my mates horse spooking, on investigating there's a car bang in the middle of where the bridleways cross over with a couple having sex, wait for it............in broad daylight at half past four who then had the cheek to tell us we had no right to be there!
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A man carrying a canoe on his head, I swear the pony said 'WTF is that?'
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I had a similar moment with a guy carrying a sideboard he'd bought at the neighbouring car boot on his shoulder!
A wide load carrying some sort of massive piece machinery wrapped in plastic about 4 foot of which had come loose and was flapping sail like as it came towards us. It actually slapped horse in the face.
A Tarmac lorry surfacing the single track drive that is part of bridle path had to tuck my leg over the saddle to squeeze past as it fumed and gurgled away.
A stealth attack by a Donkey (my pony is terrified of Donkey) it was bent round scratching it's side disguised in a field of cows by the hedge so pony hadn't noticed it. As we drew level it stuck it's head over the hedge and eewawed Pony nearly died of fright we cover two lanes of the road in one mighty leap and ended up stuck in the hedge on the opposite side!
 
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A stealth attack by a Donkey (my pony is terrified of Donkey) it was bent round scratching it's side disguised in a field of cows by the hedge so pony hadn't noticed it. As we drew level it stuck it's head over the hedge and eewawed Pony nearly died of fright we cover two lanes of the road in one mighty leap and ended up stuck in the hedge on the opposite side!

[/ QUOTE ]OMG!! ROFL!
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Rode past a car parked up at a farm road end with the boot open, with a man standing behind the boot. Didn't think much of it and rode up to the car, was about to pass the man when I noted he was very red in the face and huffing and puffing. Went to ask if he was ok, and as I passed the side of the car, noticed a rather large lady bent over infront of him.

As smooth as I am came out with... "Morning."

I think "Nice day for a ride" would have been more appropriate.
 
All wheelie bins (except the one in the handy horse comp.) are instruments of instant death, a charity bedpush hurtling towards us at speed, was merely an entertainment, to be caught up with and join in with!
 
Haha these made me laugh. The worst thing i've ever had wasnt scary at all for the horse, but i was shaking afterwards lol! Never sneak along a footpath JUST as its like a national hike day or something. Cranky old woman speak their mind well to you
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Oh, and then this irritating little man just tutted. grr, he didnt have hte guts to say anything, just tutted as we walked past. I should've used my whip more wisely..

oh, and dont ride in a field with a bird scarer. That never works out well..
 
Last week neddy watched quietly as a phesant jumped out of the hedge and into neddys foreleg (it was being chased by something) then walked along further and another phesant jumped off the embankment at head hight. Ned did not move a hoof.

However, YO had move the tyre jump in our XC field, approximatly 6 ft to the left, and we nearly died.
 
When the fallen tree was removed from the bridleway (had to squeeze round it for 3 months) that was the most terrifying thing ever (apparently).

Being passed by a council gritter, and showered in grit.

An ambulence switching its siren on as it drew level with us.
 
this has really made me smile!,
I have encountered,
Minature shettie pulling a trap also lady long reining a pony... both terrifying for my boy but we passed!
about 20 bikers (motorbikes)who had obviously decided a quite country lane would make a very scenic ride!! ( not so for me that day!)
Along with the throngs of cyclist who hunt in packs & wait for me to hack out...
Always the "horse on the other side of the hedge" really strikes the fear of god into my boy, but we get past
The donkey sanctury was almost impassable(SP)I swear we did every top dressage move that day ie ...Passage, piaffe, lovely Pirouettes, extented trot, halt! excellent rein back (didnt even ask!)
Dust cart on small country lane with lights flashing, then proceeded to pull over, go silent (obviously laying in wait for us to pass so as to eat my boy!
then worst of all..... lovely bridleway, chatting away to friend, didnt notice newly pruned tree , with several stumps..... spun & left me flat on my back before i could say WTF. lol
 
Air ambulance helicopters trying to land. Lads practicing their drums in a garage with the door open. Goats. RAF jets that scream past at mach 2, telegraph pole height. Quad bikes and scramble bikes. Stallions that try to come through the hedge at you. A youth club abseiling down a bridge. Golf umbrellas. A house burglar alarm going off as we walked past 5 feet away - so loud I swear my ears were bleeding. Bulls. And worst of all, helping lead a trekking party of 15 Russians who had never ridden before and who didn't speak a word of English on a 2 hour trek. Quivering wrecks when we got back but worst of all THE BAR WAS SHUT!!!!!!
 
- A tank coming down the road towards us, that caused a middle of the road bolt for home with kids waving out of their car windows "look at that nice pony mummy"!!!!

- A Chinook helicopter rising out of the ground!!! Well, actually it was in the valley and we were on the side of a hill and it rose up beside us. Queue - bolt (different pony to the above!!)

- Huge hairy German Shepherd biting at our heals. Queue yet another bolt, but we outran it, thank god for the 100 acre field!

Several near misses with fast cars, and van men (not white van man, but coloured-van man!!)

Logs, plastic, fly tipping and plants with whitish leaves are the spook of the day now.
 
The worst I have ever seen out hacking is the naturist who regularly sits working on his boat just next to the road whilst completely naked - naturally he is all old and wrinkly
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PMSL at some of the things you have all seen - but dead bodies must be horrible
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