What the hell is it with people?????

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showqa

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I have my RI come to my home a couple of times a month. My neighbour has on occasion had the same RI, although she truly hardly ever rides her mare. This time she asked if the RI could school her, and to pass on what the RI said. The RI - who by the way is a very pleasant, sensible and knowledgeable woman of many years experience - said the mare very much needed to lose weight as she'd be a 4.5 on the fat score, which is affecting her breathing a bit, and that she was very unlevel initially but then loosened up, and that she needed more regular and gentle schooling. The mare is diagnosed as having low grade arthritis which the RI knows.

Well, my friend was also there (who knows the neighbour) and I suggested she might pass this on when she was seeing the neighbour the following day, which she did. The friend is also a very quiet and easy going woman, BUT she said that the neighbour was quite snotty about this and since then she's been very frosty with both of us. What the hell is that all about???? I'm pretty fed up about it quite frankly - I didn't suggest the RI school her horse, SHE asked to hear what the RI had said and in all honesty you don't have to be a horse person to see that the mare is very fat. What is it with people???????
 
She probably asked because she expected to hear lots of wonderful things about her horse....some people need a reality check!! She could of course be embarrassed!! :)
 
Well you'd have to be - I don't know what! - to not realise the Pro horse woman is going to comment on the mare's weight. But if she didn't want to know - why bother having the woman school her? Now we have a very uncomfortable atmosphere through no fault of our own, and according to my friend (who as I say is really quite easy going and quiet shy), she's told her today that the vet said "To continue with exactly the same regime". What is she trying to prove, to whom and why?????
 
You know what Mymare? You are soooo right. The more I see of people, the more I understand why I'd rather be around animals.
 
we've found this giving lessons etc, people just want to be told how amazing their horses are and how brilliantly they ride them. If you actually tell them the truth about what they are doing wrong and how to correct it and make it better they get in a right strop. There are so may people who have lessons, not to improve their riding, but for an ego boost.
 
Maybe it would have better for the news to be delivered first-hand? The RI should really have said she would call...

I hate second-hand messages, and I certainly wouldn't want it from a friend....because if it was something that I was doing wrong...or right, it would probably mean that my horse and my business....was being discussed by others.

What is said between me and my instructor is between us, no-one elses business. RI should have called the woman in question and discussed with owner, not other people, to whom it really has nothing to do with.

I treat my lessons with my instructor as personal, and whether the owner is correct or not, it really has nothing to do with others, and the RI is a professional, so she shouldnt discuss things with other, my instructor most certainly does not.

Just a thought.
 
Fair enough Dragon Slayer, except the neighbour actually said before the session to tell her what the RI had to say. So, my friend asked the RI if there was any information to pass on and hence .... And again, I have to say, it wasn't said in a judgmental or nasty way at all. Very matter - of - fact and business like.

In all honesty though, I've had the RI school my horses in my absence and I've been more than prepared to hear the truth - warts and all. With my one horse there have been a lot of warts, I can tell you, but I see no point in throwing your Teddy out of the cot! And if I'd have expressly asked "Tell me what she says" - well....????
 
showqa said:
Fair enough Dragon Slayer, except the neighbour actually said before the session to tell her what the RI had to say. So, my friend asked the RI if there was any information to pass on and hence .... And again, I have to say, it wasn't said in a judgmental or nasty way at all. Very matter - of - fact and business like.

In all honesty though, I've had the RI school my horses in my absence and I've been more than prepared to hear the truth - warts and all. With my one horse there have been a lot of warts, I can tell you, but I see no point in throwing your Teddy out of the cot! And if I'd have expressly asked "Tell me what she says" - well....????
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I know she had asked to hear it, but it's a bit of a sensitive subject, to be told you arent doing right by your horse, I just think the RI should have called or gone to see her herself, if she was still snotty, then it would be up to the RI to decide to carry on or pass it off as a bad job.
 
I've learned over the years not to ask for someones advice unless you really want to hear it. For the same reason, I dont give advice unless I'm asked for it. Lots of people only want to hear what they "want to hear" so it's easier all round to say nothing. I do understand though, that she asked for the advice, but probably only wanted said RI to back up what She thought was the "problem".
Some people, eh!!!!
 
People are used to positive thinking, praise and all sorts, I had a young newly qualified instructor who rode my horse (I was paying for schooling by staff) and said "saddle keeps hitting my bum, you need a new saddle", well I said, I think your bums too big......... she did not take that on board and went round the yard telling everyone that my saddle did not fit..... she does not get to ride him anymore.
 
DragonSlayer said:
I know she had asked to hear it, but it's a bit of a sensitive subject, to be told you arent doing right by your horse, I just think the RI should have called or gone to see her herself, if she was still snotty, then it would be up to the RI to decide to carry on or pass it off as a bad job.
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Agree with this. I suspect the owner was mortified at the thought of the RI, you and your friend discussing the shortcomings of her and her horse.
The RI should really have said, ' get her to give me a ring'. I had an RI who would remark on friends horses that she worked with which I felt was pretty unprofessional, even though she was right in her comments.
 
MrsD123 said:
People are used to positive thinking, praise and all sorts, I had a young newly qualified instructor who rode my horse (I was paying for schooling by staff) and said "saddle keeps hitting my bum, you need a new saddle", well I said, I think your bums too big......... she did not take that on board and went round the yard telling everyone that my saddle did not fit..... she does not get to ride him anymore.
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mwaaaahh haha. That gave me a giggle before work!
 
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