Notimetoride
Well-Known Member
Sorry, when I wrote my response I hadn't seen your update. Absolutely flipping brilliant !!! Massive well done !!!!!
What to do - persevere or move on?
- Thread starter starfish8
- Start date
TandD
Well-Known Member
A good update to read! Huge well done for getting out there, it's never easy when you feel full of nerves.
Sometimes you just have to do it. Bury the nerves and 'show face' of being the most confident person in the world. In time it becomes true and you'll feel like you've conquered the world.
Sometimes you just have to do it. Bury the nerves and 'show face' of being the most confident person in the world. In time it becomes true and you'll feel like you've conquered the world.
FestiveFuzz
Well-Known Member
Just seen your update! Congrats and here's to many more outings x
rextherobber
Well-Known Member
Lovely update! Well done.
starfish8
Well-Known Member
Thanks all! We've got a way to go still but I'm loving that we've made progress - will carry on with the small steps until going places is just boring and routine for her. And me!
linperrie
Well-Known Member
Haven't read all replies so apologies if I'm repeating others. I think you should definitely persevere. Just because you bought her as an 'do everything' horse, doesn't mean she will with you straight away. My mare was 16 when I bought her. Done everything. But I spent 3 months getting her to load in a trailer. 2 further months taking her round the block, then expected nothing from her on her first few proper outings! I know some people buy horses and are competing on them days later. I dunno how this happens. So I'm surprised you expected a lot from your first outing. She loaded for you but obvs further work is needed. The bond you are building is coming, but give it more time. Travelling for horses is stressful. Mine still hates it 6 years on. But she goes in cos I ask her to. And travels ok and performs at the other end. It was hard work but worth it!! Persevere, it's worth it! 
Boulty
Well-Known Member
Reading between the lines you've had this horse 12 months but things have been a bit stop-start with a yard move thrown in there as well? So in terms of actual riding time / getting out and doing things time then you've actually had significantly less time than that.
It is possible that you can get past this and be able to do what you're wanting to, afterall she's still a young horse who hasn't seen an awful lot of the world, but it's likely to take a lot of support and help both from other people on your yard and from professionals and is likely to require significant investments in time and money. Also if she's naturally a worrier then you're unlikely to be able to totally change this, although it may be possible to tone down her reactions a little. Whether you want to make that investment on a horse that may eventually turn into what you're wanting or may not is your decision to make. It may be that you need to find techniques to help with your own confidence as well as it sounds like you're scared of her and what she might do at the moment.
I do sympathise as I bought a horse who had perhaps seen a little less of the world than I'd anticipated (oh he'd been out and about, don't get me wrong, but just not doing what I planned to do with him) and had a tendency towards drama. I also bought him to follow on from a horse who I trusted with my life. I also hadn't ridden regularly or competitively for about 3 years due to uni and then previous horse having ongoing soundness issues. In hindsight he was perhaps more horse than I should have been looking to buy.
Due to saddle issues followed by lameness problems it took me a very long time to really get going with him as every time we got somewhere something would happen! He took off down a road with me, would suddenly shoot forwards / do laps of the arena spooking at nothingness and comedy leaps in the air / to the side were another speciality. Asking him to leave the yard on his own led to epic battles including spinning, planting, going backwards and rearing (and in one incident nearly going backwards thru a window) and he wouldn't take the lead out hacking. I had to be led out of an arena once because he planted and refused to move. He also used to turn his bum and threaten to kick in the stable if not tied up. He could be tricky to load if not in the mood and would demand to come off the box the instant the engine stopped. I could go on... My confidence levels when I took him on probably weren't that great and previous horse was VERY easy in just about every way and I guess I'd forgotten that most horses tend to need a little guidance on manners from time to time. I also didn't take into account his lack of exposure to lots of different things out hacking. I also failed to take into account how out of practice I was.
Anyhow due to lameness sorta making him unsellable I didn't have much choice but to persevere really, although I did give myself a timescale for things to start to improve. Now he wound up going to the other end of the country for 3 months for rehab and I think that spending that time with someone a bit calmer, more level headed and more experienced than myself in a very relaxing environment whilst at the same time being exposed to all sorts without anyone pandering to him did his brain as much good as his body. He does now hack reliably alone and in company and has also been hunting and competed in trec, sj and dressage. We also do fun rides, camps and xc schooling. He will now tolerate a few hrs of standing on the box and mostly loads ok (although we had a discussion about that this morning!) He still has a hell of a spook in him, he will still rear if pushed and buck if frustrated by something and does get stressy / overexcited from time to time but for the past few years we have mostly been doing what I bought him for. (The last thing we haven't done is an ODE but both our jumping techniques & bravery need to improve before that is a realistic thing to attempt!)
Anyhow to round up this rambling I'd say that if you DO want to try you need to set yourself a timeframe (maybe the end of this summer?) by which you want to have real, measurable improvement. Then I'd get on with pushing yourselves. This does NOT have to involve competing. Have a look for local clinics and lessons and new things to try. That way you'll have professional help on hand if she arrives a bit of a stresshead. Or you could send her away to be brought on for a few months (but obviously be careful in who you pick and what methods they use and involve yourself in the process). Or you could acquire a sharer / pay someone to ride her and get her out and about and seeing things. You could also arrange to box to nice places to hack. See how she reacts to this, the hopes being that the more things she gets out and sees the less of a big deal it all becomes and the more reliable she becomes in new situations.
Alternatively there is nothing wrong with saying that you need a horse that has seen a bit more of the world and doesn't find everything quite so exciting / stressful and that she needs a rider who is a little less nervous.
It is possible that you can get past this and be able to do what you're wanting to, afterall she's still a young horse who hasn't seen an awful lot of the world, but it's likely to take a lot of support and help both from other people on your yard and from professionals and is likely to require significant investments in time and money. Also if she's naturally a worrier then you're unlikely to be able to totally change this, although it may be possible to tone down her reactions a little. Whether you want to make that investment on a horse that may eventually turn into what you're wanting or may not is your decision to make. It may be that you need to find techniques to help with your own confidence as well as it sounds like you're scared of her and what she might do at the moment.
I do sympathise as I bought a horse who had perhaps seen a little less of the world than I'd anticipated (oh he'd been out and about, don't get me wrong, but just not doing what I planned to do with him) and had a tendency towards drama. I also bought him to follow on from a horse who I trusted with my life. I also hadn't ridden regularly or competitively for about 3 years due to uni and then previous horse having ongoing soundness issues. In hindsight he was perhaps more horse than I should have been looking to buy.
Due to saddle issues followed by lameness problems it took me a very long time to really get going with him as every time we got somewhere something would happen! He took off down a road with me, would suddenly shoot forwards / do laps of the arena spooking at nothingness and comedy leaps in the air / to the side were another speciality. Asking him to leave the yard on his own led to epic battles including spinning, planting, going backwards and rearing (and in one incident nearly going backwards thru a window) and he wouldn't take the lead out hacking. I had to be led out of an arena once because he planted and refused to move. He also used to turn his bum and threaten to kick in the stable if not tied up. He could be tricky to load if not in the mood and would demand to come off the box the instant the engine stopped. I could go on... My confidence levels when I took him on probably weren't that great and previous horse was VERY easy in just about every way and I guess I'd forgotten that most horses tend to need a little guidance on manners from time to time. I also didn't take into account his lack of exposure to lots of different things out hacking. I also failed to take into account how out of practice I was.
Anyhow due to lameness sorta making him unsellable I didn't have much choice but to persevere really, although I did give myself a timescale for things to start to improve. Now he wound up going to the other end of the country for 3 months for rehab and I think that spending that time with someone a bit calmer, more level headed and more experienced than myself in a very relaxing environment whilst at the same time being exposed to all sorts without anyone pandering to him did his brain as much good as his body. He does now hack reliably alone and in company and has also been hunting and competed in trec, sj and dressage. We also do fun rides, camps and xc schooling. He will now tolerate a few hrs of standing on the box and mostly loads ok (although we had a discussion about that this morning!) He still has a hell of a spook in him, he will still rear if pushed and buck if frustrated by something and does get stressy / overexcited from time to time but for the past few years we have mostly been doing what I bought him for. (The last thing we haven't done is an ODE but both our jumping techniques & bravery need to improve before that is a realistic thing to attempt!)
Anyhow to round up this rambling I'd say that if you DO want to try you need to set yourself a timeframe (maybe the end of this summer?) by which you want to have real, measurable improvement. Then I'd get on with pushing yourselves. This does NOT have to involve competing. Have a look for local clinics and lessons and new things to try. That way you'll have professional help on hand if she arrives a bit of a stresshead. Or you could send her away to be brought on for a few months (but obviously be careful in who you pick and what methods they use and involve yourself in the process). Or you could acquire a sharer / pay someone to ride her and get her out and about and seeing things. You could also arrange to box to nice places to hack. See how she reacts to this, the hopes being that the more things she gets out and sees the less of a big deal it all becomes and the more reliable she becomes in new situations.
Alternatively there is nothing wrong with saying that you need a horse that has seen a bit more of the world and doesn't find everything quite so exciting / stressful and that she needs a rider who is a little less nervous.
gothdolly
Well-Known Member
Well done on your dressage test! See, you can do it! You are obviously intelligent and capable, you just need more self belief
SatansLittleHelper
Well-Known Member
Well done OP, I'm impressed!!!
It sounds as though you two may be able to sort it out between you after all?? You sound very capable and your horse sounds lovely but I understand the fragility of confidence
It sounds as though you two may be able to sort it out between you after all?? You sound very capable and your horse sounds lovely but I understand the fragility of confidence
rachk89
Well-Known Member
See? You can do it.
Keep going with the progress. Doesn't matter how small or big the progress is. I am making tiny steps of progress with my horse but its still progress and its at a level both of us are comfortable with.If she does the whole drama thing again with travelling alone take her off the trailer and lunge her. Mine gets scared travelling still and I can take him off, lead him around a bit and he calms down, but I do take a lunging rope just in case that doesn't work. Usually they will settle once off and the claustrophobia goes away.
When I finally get a trailer too I am going to spend a few days taking the trailer into the outdoor arena and loading/unloading my horse til he realises its not scary. Could try that too.
She sounds like a lovely horse, good luck with her for the future.
xgemmax
Well-Known Member
Well done, great to see a positive update
starfish8
Well-Known Member
Apologies for dredging up an old thread... except not because I have another happy update
The menace and I moved yards at the beginning of the year to my instructor's new place and since then we've had a few ups and downs... she seemed to settle well then the dreaded mud fever put her on box rest for two months - it would NOT heal. Copious amounts of flamazine later and she came back into work (and turnout) like a thing possessed.
After a few weeks getting progressively worse, with both my instructor and another pro riding her (jumping, instructor is a dressage rider) we decided to get her ovaries scanned. The vet found one ovary full of un-descended follicles, a problem that had probably started before I got her and has crept up on us all a tiny bit at a time. She's now on regumate (following the injection to induce a proper season) and so so so much happier - she's like a different horse.
So much so that... yesterday we hacked out!! For the first time in I don't know how long. And she was a saint. Not a hoof out of place and felt so relaxed - at no point did it feel like sitting on a coiled spring waiting for her to boing off in any given direction with no brakes. Even the scary things - being passed from behind by a 4x4 towing a horse in trailer - she felt like she was listening and thinking rather than adrenaline fuelled reacting.
I'm sure this seems like an utterly pathetic thing to be pleased about, but for us it was a major milestone and I'm so pleased I put my brave pants on and went for it. And while I do feel awful that the hormones were clearly a huge part of it that went unnoticed, I do feel slightly better that it wasn't entirely in my head. And having lost my boy last week, this can't have come at a better time - something positive to focus on at such a horrible time.
The menace and I moved yards at the beginning of the year to my instructor's new place and since then we've had a few ups and downs... she seemed to settle well then the dreaded mud fever put her on box rest for two months - it would NOT heal. Copious amounts of flamazine later and she came back into work (and turnout) like a thing possessed.
After a few weeks getting progressively worse, with both my instructor and another pro riding her (jumping, instructor is a dressage rider) we decided to get her ovaries scanned. The vet found one ovary full of un-descended follicles, a problem that had probably started before I got her and has crept up on us all a tiny bit at a time. She's now on regumate (following the injection to induce a proper season) and so so so much happier - she's like a different horse.
So much so that... yesterday we hacked out!! For the first time in I don't know how long. And she was a saint. Not a hoof out of place and felt so relaxed - at no point did it feel like sitting on a coiled spring waiting for her to boing off in any given direction with no brakes. Even the scary things - being passed from behind by a 4x4 towing a horse in trailer - she felt like she was listening and thinking rather than adrenaline fuelled reacting.
I'm sure this seems like an utterly pathetic thing to be pleased about, but for us it was a major milestone and I'm so pleased I put my brave pants on and went for it. And while I do feel awful that the hormones were clearly a huge part of it that went unnoticed, I do feel slightly better that it wasn't entirely in my head. And having lost my boy last week, this can't have come at a better time - something positive to focus on at such a horrible time.
SEL
Well-Known Member
Absolutely not pathetic to be pleased about it at all! When you've got a horse that is obviously struggling and you can't work out why then it is a huge relief to get to the bottom of the problem - especially if it means you can both have fun again. Well done for investigating. Very sorry to hear about your boy too. Onward and upward hopefully
Ceriann
Well-Known Member
Thats a lovely update - well done you for persevering with your mare. I imagine youve built quite some bind now. As one who has to persuade myself to hack I appreciate how big a deal it is to go out and just do it and how happy you feel when its done.
Having owned a very grumpy mare (I still have her but shes a companion now) its so disheartening and frustrating going from one issue to another. Well done you for continuing to listen.
Hope you have loads of fun with her now.
Having owned a very grumpy mare (I still have her but shes a companion now) its so disheartening and frustrating going from one issue to another. Well done you for continuing to listen.
Hope you have loads of fun with her now.
bluedanube
Well-Known Member
Brilliant update