What would you do..genuine but nervous youngster and owner..

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llohcins

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www.thehorsediva.co.uk
I keep going back and forwards in what to do with my horse so all advice gratefully received…

I have the most lovely youngster he is such a sweetie but he has grown rather big and can be unpredictable…he is seemingly totally chilled then something will spook him and he will bolt on lunge, or occasionally do a massive buck or two. He has spun a few times in hand as well. Has yet to do it ridden but does unnerve me, generally if he sees something scary out ridden he will jump in the air! He stresses at change in routine/ environment and I want to get out competing but his behaviour at home makes me nervous.

I am really rather nervous and feel at the moment I am over horsed.. but equally in two years time he could be the best, sanest talented horse you could wish for. 90% of the time he is a total poppet but it’s the unpredictable I can’t get my head around. I keep thinking of selling him and getting something that I can just get on and go but it’s heartbreaking… Would you sell or try and get expert help in to boost his confidence which will hopefully lesson his reaction to things!?

Honestly I am just trying to do the best thing for both of us and its so upsetting to know the best way forward...
 
WWID? if as you say you are rather nervous, and he is young big and a bit unpredictable - then yes, I think you are overhorsed and in your situation I would sell him to a lovely new home and buy something older that you can have more fun on without being made more nervous. I say this from my own experience! Good luck. :)
 
How old is he? How long has he been broken? how long have you had him?

Biggest question is do you have lots of spare cash to put into a ready produced ready to go horse? (or could you give up for winter to save funds?)
 
I would get expert help... I have..

I have no experience of youngsters, but took mine on as it was an opportunity I didnt want to miss..

Having somone look at things from a different point of view can be great.. There may be a physical problem too?

If he is 90% your ideal horse then its worth it...
If you sell him on the new owners may do it anyway, so you may as well try first?
 
Might be worth one final try... I have had previous help but not sure I invested in the right person...
He is 6 and I have had him a year. Have had all physical things ruled out. Am in touch with previous owners who had him since foal so know all his history and he seems a lot more nervous with me, prob as I am a lot more nervours with him! Tried the calmer route to take the edge off but all these send him crazy! Depending on what he sold for and when I could save over winter to buy something else....but I would probably put him on sales livery which would cost me a fortune initially...
 
Many horses go through a six year old teenager phase - he might be coming through that?

If you've lost confidence in him it can be tricky to get back, are you confident on other horses or generally a but nervous at the moment?

Some good lessons with the right person say twice aweek for a good few months could make all the difference and be cheaper in the long run than swapping! Finding the right instructor is tough tho !
 
Find someone local who you respect to assess him and you and advise, being overhorsed is no fun and it's supposed to be fun but you need experianced eyes on the ground ( and the horse ) to give you advise.
 
Goldenstar said:
Find someone local who you respect to assess him and you and advise, being overhorsed is no fun and it's supposed to be fun but you need experianced eyes on the ground ( and the horse ) to give you advise.
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This ^^^ but also remember that what he does on the lunge will rarely transfer to ridden behaviour, if he worries you lunging leave it to someone more confident, don't bother about the lunging or if he has a blast then make him work twice as hard afterwards to make up for it, they soon learn it is hard work and stop messing around when they feel like it.
 
Thats a good idea...I just need to find someone who can really do that! Yes he could well be in his teen years! I am generally nervous but to be honest I only ride him though I have definately lost confidence in him. I can cope if I know they dont like something-my old horse used to jump all the manhole covers...but its the unpredictability that I cant work out which concerns me. Therefore when we are going along all seemingly relaxed and happy I cant get out of my mind that something is gonna upset him and its like someone has flicked a switch...from plod to hyperventilating stallion!
 
I agree with the others, get a bit of help. Are you on a yard where you could ride out with others?

My husband's big horse was really really laid back as a four year old, then went through a cheeky phase at 5/6, more with people who pushed him to work than those that let him bumble along, and then turned back into a saint at 7!

Edited to add,
its not a bad thing to sell him and save for something you feel happier on though, this is your hobby.. Not the best time to sell though really, but also problems can get worse in winter too.

Have a chat with an instructor or someone you trust. If you could have alternate lessons and them riding the horse too it would be good.
 
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Get someone to help you!
I am in a sort of similar position. Have a 22 yo I have owned 18 years. A couple of years back I decided to get a youngster to bring on so my older one could ease off work wise. I ended up with a 15mth old! TBH all went well and I ‘backed’ him last Oct/Nov (ie sitting on him and leading him about a bit)
I initially had some assistance prior to backing (when he was 2) on groundwork from a lady who does do a bit of NH type stuff but only as much as understanding what the horse thinks and why it reacts a certain way etc. We worked on controlling his flight response and giving him directions he could understand. This worked really well for basic control and handling (he was very well handled prior to me getting him but, being a big bolshy gelding he did need to know what was what!).
I started riding him early this year, hacking out etc and all well. To cut a long story short, it all went a bit wrong resulted in me being unceremoniously dumped twice, the 2nd time putting me out of action for a few weeks.
He then reacted violently to having a saddle being put on . Diagnosed with really sore back and he totally lost his confidence.
I have not sat on him for months as we have to go back to basics. However, although I felt I was a confident horse-person, I realise I have been with the ‘known’ for 18 years and I have now seen my youngster’s extreme reaction and that sits at the back of my mind (“will he do that with me on him?!). I know I HAVE to get back on at some point BUT I admit, I do feel nervous and am working with my instructor on this, doing things slowly etc. I know how you feel. I think as you get older you over-think things and it’s difficult to change that. Also, you don’t bounce as much! I am dying to get to that stage where I know what mine’s limit of reaction to something will be but I know this will take time. I think you need to get someone in to help, have someone else ride him if needs be. Do some work on the ground, controlling where his legs are to go, which direction he is to go in etc etc.
You need someone who won’t bully or force the horse to ‘submit’ or anything like that but they need to be firm and give clear instructions to your horse. He does sound lacking in confidence and they need to get that from you/their handler/rider and it’s difficult if you are not feeling confident. I am sure you will get there if you put the work in. 
 
Thanks and sorry to hear about your setback! Perhaps with the right people I can reduce the worry for both of us. It's so difficult to know what to do and who is the best person to turn to! Good luck with your boy sounds like u are back on the right path..
 
Firstly do not be scared, he is as scared as you are and needs you to give him confidence. What are you scared of, so he bucks on the lunge quite normal make sure you are in front of him when he bucks, keep the line tight, he turns when you lead him, so turn him around and keep walking next to his shoulder this gives him confidence and you better control, if he breaks away okay he is going to run to the fields, other horses, get him and carry on, if he spooks when riding well he is a young horse and doing what horses do and if you are scared who is his leader, so by spooking he is trying to lead you and letting you know there is something to be aware of just like he would if he was leading a herd, you have to take control and not be scared, and it will all come right. Small steps daily end in big steps in the end, have fun enjoy, you love him, dont give up. If you are scared of him standing on your toes get steel capped boots, you will feel much more confident
 
llohcins said:
Is that the case re the lunging? I cant help but think if he doesnt respect me on end of a lunge line then he could send me flying when I am onboard...
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This is probably in response to my comment about lunging behaviour not always relating to ridden work, he will learn to respect you if you make him work hard enough when he has misbehaved, not every horse has been trained to lunge quietly or correctly they can take time to become really sensible if they have had lunging used as a means to use excess energy rather than as a schooling session.
I have known many that have been a nightmare to lunge but perfectly well mannered ridden horses, I have worked to improve them but as long as they do the job required lunging is lower down the priority list than many things.
 
Hi, goodness I can sympathise, I was on here asking for help only weeks ago I have a 18hh six year old who had forced time off last year. He has come back into work well this year but my lovely boy turned into a complete pig about two months ago. All usual stuff checked I have now employed a professional to help me 3 times a week, 6 lessons in he is behaving himself with being quietly and confidently ridden. I am in this for the long haul I have owned him since he was 5 1/2 months old and just because he has grown a hand and half over what I expected I want to crack on but I know I need help for now. I am still enjoying riding my 24 year old mare and my husbands cob so I'll be patient. Good luck with your horse, I hope you can find some help to move you on together I know it's horrible how you are feeling right now. You will know in your gut if your really don't think it's going to work out but don't rush into anything straight away have thinking time. X
 
Thanks. I wish I could just not be scared.. Like u say what is there to be scared of but I just can't get rid of the feeling :-( I have tried everything loads of lessons, nlp, help with him etc but still not improved. He has also had time off due to an injury so that hasn't helped at all!! The sales livery option I had preferred has just fallen through so... Perhaps that's telling me to find someone to help!!
 
That's such a difficult one for you. I have been in a very similar situation (perhaps one I created myself as I backed him). First youngster, sweet, friendly, very genuine, but would flip a switch from chilled to all out rodeo panic in the blink of an eye. I'd worked with a lot of young TBs before but there had always been my boss around to sort out the difficult bits. My little Spanish pony was a different kettle of fish and i felt well out of my depth.

All I can say is to go with your gut. I was nervous at times but never afraid of mine (he is pretty small which maybe helps). Everytime something went wrong or I made a mistake I took 3 steps back in his training and started again with no fuss. If you look at my recent posts 4 years on I've been riding him with no bridle or saddle, and with a garrocha pole this week. Never in my wildest dreams did I think he would ever cope with that. So for me, if I loved the horse, I would get help. Mine is now my horse of a lifetime, even if he isn't perfect.
 
I don't have time to read all the replies, but here is my story;

I have just bitten the bullet with my (exceptionally green) 6yo and moved him on and got another horse (who is actually the same age, but far more sane, sensible and user friendly). I have been riding all my life and had my last horse for twenty years. My new boy was the horse I had always wanted (flashy 16.1hh Anglo Arab), but it turned out that he just served to batter my confidence. Like you, he never got me off but he used to put on the most spectacular bucking displays on the lunge, and then he flipped out at a show one day and broke my dads arm :(

I work in London and finally admitted after nine months of perseverance, and a lot of money spent on lessons, vets, physios, diet changes, moving yards etc. that I didn't have the time to spend or the experience to bring on such a horse. It was a heart shattering decision to make as i thought he was my next forever horse, but I must admit that once he had gone, I knew it was the right decision and havent really looked back. I have had a couple of moments thinking "what if" but then I slap myself back into shape.

My new boy is so amazing to handle, and has the sweetest nature, and he jumps, I can't wait to start doing stuff with him. He has however just busted his leg :o which is a pita set back. That said though, I don't have to worry about treating him or leaving him in the box which is more than can be said for the other nightmare! If it had have been him, I would probably have been committed by now!

I don't know your circumstances OP but you will come to whatever is the right decision in your own time, you don't need to rush things. Best of luck x
 
My bigger horse was a toad throughout his entire 6 year old year - it didn't help that he had a period of box rest and time off, but he was generally a pig - started all sorts of irritating new habits, was madly spooky, and really started to knock my confidence. I managed to persevere, despite often thinking I would rather not, and now he is 7 and back in full work, I've got my nice horse back! He is occasionally a bit spooky/strong in hand but generally fine to ride, and when he's good, he is so very very good, that I gloss over the odd irritating bit!!
I would say get some professional help OP from someone whose opinion you respect and who will be honest with you on their opinion of the future for you and the horse.
 
Hi, I can't really offer any advice as to what to do with your youngster as I have no experience in that area yet!

However, wrt your confidence, are there any other horses you might be able to lunge/ride? And is there anyone you could have on the ground just to reassure you that everything is going well? I had a nasty fall a little over a month ago, and it turned out that it affected me to the point that I'd start shaking as I went into canter and thought I was going to throw up. I was lucky in that I was able to ride sane, safe horses and get used to the fact that just because a horse rushes in canter/is very unbalanced/is moving at warp speed doesn't mean that I'm going to get ditched out the side door. I was also working alongside a groom who was more than happy to give me cc about my riding and reassure me when I got nervous.

I really, really hope you are able to get through this, or at least get your confidence back, good luck with everything xx
 
Hi i cant really give you advice but i have a young cob he is just 5, have owned him just over a year, regards your concern re how he acts on the lunge and will he do ame under saddle,

my lad is a nightmare to lunge will buck, plunge, bolt off. Is bit better on long lines but will still have a cheeky buck, plunge and get strong however in the whole time i have owned him he has never done anything under saddle hun. He was quite bolshy when i got him but has improved with NH work and is now safe and sensible.

I had serious confidence issues when i got him kept thinking 'what if' but with help from my instructor and family i have got there.

Hope you can get throught this hun and that your confidence improves with help and time xxxxxx
 
I am looking at this thread with great interest.
My horse has just turned 5, brought him in june a hes been a star but i think due to a comination of good feed and grass he has changed. He got me off a couple of weeks ago and i havent got on since, ive lunged and freeschooled but im ALWAYS thinking about the what ifs etc. I no i just need to get on him again but i am nervous. I too have thought about selling but i do want to persivere with him as hes lovely etc i dont want to come off again.
I am also currently moving yards and going away on holiday, so i think i will start again with working him when im back.
Very interested in all of these replies...makes me feel that i can do it but just need time.
 
OP, is he turned out 24/7? If not, I'd definately try that immediately as that could change him. Having had a horse who was fully stabled when I got him and slowly increasing the time out in the field to 24/7 as he is now - the difference has been amazing. He was quite wired and spooky to begin with (when still stabled) but now he's totally chilled out and is a different horse. It can be something so simple. Otherwise, the horse could be bored? I think bored horses often start messing about / spooking etc. if they're finding things a bit dull.

If you've lost confidence in him, I think you need to get someone else to ride him or get lessons straight away, as it will only get worse.

Re: the lungeing thing, I wouldnt worry too much about what he does on the lunge. I've had a few horses who were lovely to ride but put them on the lunge and they'd have the odd explosion. My grey would never dream of misbehaving when ridden but put him on the lunge and at least twice he'll turn into a plunging / bucking beast!
 
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Its definitely worth looking at his general management - out 24 hrs and no hard feed is a wonderful calmer (and its cheap!!)

My horse can loon about on the lunge but touch wood hasn't when ridden, I think he sees the two things as completely different behaviours... I do lunge him before I ride him if he feels sharp and make no apologies for it!
 
Sell the horse , if it doesn't give you confidence now then there it's highly unlikely you wlll improve together in years to come !

I was in your position 1 year ago , horse was 6 years old , spooky , reared , bucked , bolted , no respect for me on the ground either , he took all my confidence !
Finally sold him after he wouldn't load into our trailer and tried to attack every horse around me as well as taking all my confidence I ever had !
Now I have the most lovely 5 year old who gives me so much confidence in every aspect of riding. Only now I am jumping 90cm courses ( somehhing I never thought I could achieve !) . I have more confidence than I ever thought I could with him , this is because we are a good match and trust each other 100% .

You honestly won't regret it , I thought I would but I am happier than I ever thought I could be and now realise how down my previous horse made me feel and how much worry he caused me .

Feel free to message me for a chat :)
 
Honey08 said:
I agree with the others, get a bit of help. Are you on a yard where you could ride out with others?

My husband's big horse was really really laid back as a four year old, then went through a cheeky phase at 5/6, more with people who pushed him to work than those that let him bumble along, and then turned back into a saint at 7!

Edited to add,
its not a bad thing to sell him and save for something you feel happier on though, this is your hobby.. Not the best time to sell though really, but also problems can get worse in winter too.

Have a chat with an instructor or someone you trust. If you could have alternate lessons and them riding the horse too it would be good.
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Definitely agree horses go through a rider testing time between 5-7!!! Especially when asking more of them- and I definitely speak from experience there!!1

Also agree about it not being a bad thing to sell him and don't feel guilty because he could find a home where he gets on a bit better and you can find something you get on better making all parties happier!!! :D

Seen your comment about that feeling you get- at that point if you are feeling like that every time you get on I would perhaps either send away to b schooled for couple of months or sell. That feeling is hard to over come and combined with a youngster doesn't make a good mix.

Life is too short to keep battling for the sake of battling- I think we should use our heads over our hearts a little more and we wouldn't find our selves in turmoil over this kind of situation- however I have been guilty on numerous occasions of using my heart over head- doh!
 
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