What would you do if you got this email from your livery yard owner?!

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sfward

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Bit of background first - I keep my horse at a small DIY livery yard which promotes itself as a 'natural horsemanship' yard. Most of the liveries there practise NH although 2 or 3, including myself, don't, and we feel a general sense of disapproval from YO (who IMO is quite inexperienced anyway) whenever we do anything she disapproves of such as use lunging aids, discipline our horses for being naughty etc. Whether this is aimed at us specifically I don't know but on Friday the yard owner sent the following round in an email (along with other topics including worming and bills):

"Please can I politely remind you all that I actively encourage kind treatment of equines here? I think I was very up front about that with all of you during your initial enquiries about livery here. From now on anyone who uses whips inappropriately (in my opinion) will be asked to leave. Appropriate use for backing the leg up is fine but that's what whips were designed for, not to beat your horse up with when you lose your temper. May I constructively suggest, in that case, that you walk away from your horse and spell something backwards, it really does work by switching your brain from the emotional side of thinking to the rational side! Or try breathing in to a count of 7 then out to a count of 11 – breathing out longer than breathing in affects your autonomic nervous system and you can't help but relax – you will notice your heart beats slightly slower on your out breath – clever isn't it? I know they can be very frustrating at times but in the same way that beating up your kids or a husband beats up his wife, it does not earn you respect, only fear and that is not acceptable to me."

Now what would you think if you got this email?! I am quite annoyed by it personally as none of us are in the habit of 'beating up' our horses, and I think if there was one particular incident that has prompted this she should raise it with the individual in question. If there isn't, why mention it at all as I for one found it quite patronising!!

I am in two minds whether to reply and question why she has brought this up, as I'm quite irritated by it but don't want to cause an argument?!
 
lol she does sound i bit crazy,id be moving as well
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That is incredibly patronising!
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I would be very cross, but I don't think i could livery my horse on a yard like that in the first place. You must have much more patience than me!!
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OMG - Massively patronising
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I think I would either have a quite word with her or be tempted to look for another livery yard.

What she is saying does make sense (whips are obviously not meant for excessive beating) but if I received that I would feel like I was being accused of being cruel to my horse and that I was being spoken to like a child.

Of course kindness is the way forward for horses but I don't reallly like the idea of being somewhere where the YO dictates how I discipline my horse
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especially if I didn't think she was experienced enough to do so.

Come and visit our yard!
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ETA - we have space....
 
IF there was an incident it should be raised with the individual, otherwise I think you should get the 'men in white coats' to visit your YO.

You pay to keep horses there, not for 'bunny hugging'
 
Oh dear!, Bit of a sandle wearing, lentle eating, crystal waving type to me, think i'd be trying to find a new home because this is'nt going to get any better!!
Think i'd be getting a wax doll and some pins to stick in it, but i am a bit of a witch!!!
 
Not quite sure when a horse is misbehaving that I would have time to remember to breath let alone spell backwards as have trouble spelling normally
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I personally would be thinking about staying on it and sorting it out and don't think there is anything wrong with using a whip to reprimand horses as if not, in my opinion they take the mickey. Agree that if one person has gone over the score then she should have spoken with them direct and not just accused all of you. I would approach her on the subject
 
[ QUOTE ]
Oh dear!, Bit of a sandle wearing, lentle eating, crystal waving type to me, think i'd be trying to find a new home because this is'nt going to get any better!!
Think i'd be getting a wax doll and some pins to stick in it, but i am a bit of a witch!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

PMSL! You just described one of my sisters (though she has no horses thank god!)
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Well she was quite clear when we moved in that it was an NH yard and that she would say something/ask us to leave if we did things she didn't agree with, but I was equally clear that I didn't have a problem with the NH as long as I was left alone to train my horse as I saw fit. So far it's been ok bar the odd bit of craziness which we tend to just ignore, but this has rather annoyed me I must say!
 
My friend and I were thinking of replying to the email with the following:

'Hi X(YO), that is all fine however Y(friend) and I were talking over the weekend and we were wondering if you could explain what prompted the comments regarding whips? As far as we know none of us are in the habit of 'beating up' our horses?! If there was a particular incident you were referring to perhaps it would be better to raise it with the individual concerned. If not, I'm not sure if the comment was really necessary as personally we found it rather patronising.'

What do you think?! If we get kicked out we'll be round to your yard in a shot Arwen!!!
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I wouldn't make the situation at all confrontational, infact, id not even approach her about the email - but i would move.

She clearly has her beliefs on the way horses should be treated and evidently she thinks some people aren't falling into that category.

Just find somewhere new and let her have her yard the way she wants
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Barking maybe, but if she did state to you all that she holds her NH style with high regard then you either have to accept this as the terms of your livery or find another yard (my preference to be honest
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) . Obviously some thing has upset her and maybe she can't really handle confrontation so has resorted to an email, I personally wouldn't react to it via email, if you feel really strongly about it have a quiet word with her later when you're at the yard, she is more likely to open up and maybe tell you what was behind it.
 
I would be livid - whilst I agree with (some of) her sentiments its totally inappropriate to round-robin everyone like this. I'd also be concerned by the subjective nature of inappropriate use of a whip....from the sound of it she considered anything more than a quick flick inappropriate?
 
[ QUOTE ]
My friend and I were thinking of replying to the email with the following:

'Hi X(YO), that is all fine however Y(friend) and I were talking over the weekend and we were wondering if you could explain what prompted the comments regarding whips? As far as we know none of us are in the habit of 'beating up' our horses?! If there was a particular incident you were referring to perhaps it would be better to raise it with the individual concerned. If not, I'm not sure if the comment was really necessary as personally we found it rather patronising.'

What do you think?! If we get kicked out we'll be round to your yard in a shot Arwen!!!
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Sounds fine but this might be the sort of thing that you are better talking about in person? Tone of voice often gets lost in e-mails so you could come across as overly defensive?

I'd have a chat with her and then decide whether or not to run for the hills!
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Yeah that's true, although I get a bit apologetic in person and tend to back down instead of just saying what I mean! You might have to PM me your yard details in case we get kicked out...
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I also think she's slightly barking, but IMO it would be better for you just to up and leave and tell her why ONLY if she asks, rather than make an issue out of it from the start.
We had an NH type in our yard once. She didn't last long... Don't get me wrong, I'm not a horse beater or totally anti-NH, I tolerate others' ways of handling their horses as long as they don't mis-treat them, but ours was slightly loony too!
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"not to beat your horse up with when you lose your temper. "
And the advice she offers should have been personal to someone who had lost thier temper and used a whip in that way.
My concerns are at her communication targetting, rather than her beliefs. A weak manager communicates an issue "to all" by eamil - to avoid confrontation with a guilty party, in any matter- lateness, abscence ete, Yard Managers do the same.

I think I'd take the 'high ground' opposite approach
Dear YO,
As you know, I employ tradional methods, not NH but i an Horrifed that anyone on the yard has abused their horse in temper. Rest assured if I seen anyone doing this I will advise them to take 5 to cool down.
However, I did wonder if you had sent the mail to ALL Liveries list by mistake, instead of to the perpetrator - whoever they may be?
best wishes

 
Personally I would let it drop, not respond and look for another yard. This wont be the only issue the YO has with non NH liveries and if she is unable to tackle her concerns on a one to one basis things will soon start to go t*ts up for you 'normals'.

Find yourself a new home.
 
[quote
I think I'd take the 'high ground' opposite approach
Dear YO,
As you know, I employ tradional methods, not NH but i an Horrifed that anyone on the yard has abused their horse in temper. Rest assured if I seen anyone doing this I will advise them to take 5 to cool down.
However, I did wonder if you had sent the mail to ALL Liveries list by mistake, instead of to the perpetrator - whoever they may be?
best wishes



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lol, that is very good perhaps I will do that!!
 
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