What's Your 'I'm Being An Idiot' Moment?

spotty_pony

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I got on once without doing my girth years ago and ended up straight on the floor! Luckily my boy couldn’t care less… but I ended up spraining my Achilles which caused me trouble for a good year after. I learnt my lesson about checking my girth before mounting!!
 

J&S

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I had a girth problem too, but not at the mounting block. I had been out for a pretty good ride and on the way home whizzed into some woods and found a branch for practising low branches (a trec obstacle). I did n't take into consideration that after working Spottie quite hard that her muscles would have tightenend and so the girth was considerably looser..... so bent right down on left side to get under branch and ended up under her tummy! Luckily she was good as gold and let me get untangled and we went off home safely and securely. Another idiot moment was deciding to cross our local river when tbh the water was too high and running very fast. My friend had her two collie dogs with her and when I went into the water they came too. The "tide" washed them under her tummy and we tipped right over. I didn;t have an inch of me, saddle or pony that was dry. It was shear brvado that made me try to cross, I had actually, on first glance thought better of it, should have stayed that way! a lot of "swimming" jokes around the farm for a while, espcially as I had the farrier on return.
Years ago I had to get off in the forest for a wee, I was in a big hurry to get back on and home and didnt notice that when I took the reins back over the pony's head they were crossed....... funny few moments working out what was wrong with the steering!
 

nagblagger

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Reading all the girth issues reminds me of when i forgot to tighten my OHs girth, he was learning to ride, i tacked up, got him onboard, sorted myself out and off we set..about 1/2 mile on the road i heard a strange sound and turned round to see my OH, sitting on the saddle, clinging on, at 90 degrees on the horse, he was pulling on her rein so was going in a circle. Unfortunately i was laughing so much i couldn't give any instructions on what to do (even thinking about it has started me laughing again). It seemed to last an age as OH didn't want to fall and didn't know what to do. The mare was a gem. He has since given up riding!
 

DizzyDoughnut

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Am I the only one to rug up in the field, next to the fence, only to find that I have inadvertently rugged the horse TO the fence?

Happily mine do a fair bit of spook busting as a matter of course!
I have also inadvertently rugged my ponies to various things they are stood next to at the time, luckily I do try to do some work on spook busting but they all pretty quickly learn that their human is in fact an idiot and most of their spook busting training is accidental.

My latest idiot moment was when I was moving the electric fence and left a post unattended I turned round and my old pony had obviously used it to itch on and had it wedged between his back legs where once his man bits would have been. I panicked and set about trying to free him. He didn't bat an eyelid when I wedged my hand snugly in his manhood area over the post, (my theory was it would be easier to stich up my hand than him if things went wrong). So with one hand over the post I used my other hand to lift his leg up and pull it in various directions while wiggling the post in his round his sheath trying to get it out. It wouldn't budge so I put his leg down and decided to get a saw to saw the post in half, I was backing away telling him not to move I got about 5 steps away when he casually strolled off and the post pinged out behind him. I was secretly a bit proud of him that he stood so still and let me wiggle my hand and the post round between his back legs whilst waving one of his legs in varying positions out to the side like we did this kind of thing every day.
 

Caol Ila

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Man, there was that one scene in the Wheel of Time series where the horses were tacked up loose, grazing away from their people whilst the people faffed with healing and waving knives at one another. It was bound to happen.

I also expect my horses to stand while I put on a rug, futz with tack, pick up feet, do a gate, etc., but I would not leave them to their own devices in the woods while being chased by Trollocs, or in a busy country park beside a coffee shop, a kid's playpark, a garden centre, and a road.

In other news, I used to leave Gypsum's stable door hanging open, trusting her to not leave while I faffed with tack, chatted to other liveries, etc. Most of the time, she complied. Except for the one time I was in her neighbour's stable, looking at something on his leg, and I saw large dark shape pass in front of the bars. Oh, sh1t, I said, and ran after her as she merrily trotted down the barn aisle. She ran out of the barn, then up to the YO's house, where she stopped, peering into their yard and conservatory. I caught her and hurriedly led her back to the stable. YO did not have a sense of humour, so I was lucky that he was not there to witness this.
 
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Cob Life

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Am I the only one to rug up in the field, next to the fence, only to find that I have inadvertently rugged the horse TO the fence?

Happily mine do a fair bit of spook busting as a matter of course!
Tonight I managed to tie him to the Haynet instead of the wall then after our ride proceeded to try to take his bridle off, wondered why he just kept bringing his head forward and I hadn’t undone it.

I did also crouch in front of him to get the strap for his martingale (knowing as I take up that he likes to scrape the flor)and he kneed me in the head
 

planete

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I once stopped for a wee on a deserted bridleway and my horse legged it back to the road where thankfully a lady stopped her car and returned him to me. We were on a solo hike of several days going around Cranborne Chase miles away from home. No idea where he thought he was going. He was normally a horse who would stay by you if you came off so I guess I was a bit too complacent that day.
 

stangs

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Trying to exit the stable of a shetland who didn’t want to be stabled, and foolishly thinking that I’d be able to block them with my body to keep them in as I left. Little ****** rammed into me, swung the door wide open with their head, then ran for the hills.
 

chaps89

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When I had my own Horse, my non Horsey dad came with us to Newmarket for her operation. We went to the stables to load. She had a rug on and had obviously laid down as was covered in shavings. I went off to make some hay nets for the journey and could hear a weird noise, popped my head round the corner and my dad was cleaning the shavings off her rug using a long broom, luckily she wasn't bothered and dad just said he wanted to help but wasn't sure what to do.
Aww, that’s quite sweet, points for effort there
 

Meredith

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Tacking up in the rear unload lorry. Fastened the breastplate round the breast bar, well they have the same word in the their name haven’t they? Result, confused horse who couldn’t reverse.

OK another.
Hands up how many of us have put the bridle on, wondered why the steering was off and found the bit hanging loose below the horse’s mouth.
 

9tails

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We went to the beach, I tacked up my horse in the parking area that was on a road and was about to get on when I realised my hat was still in the boot of the car. I led the horse over, went to reach the hat and it was juuuust out of reach. So I let go of the reins for a moment. Horse walked off up the road, I followed. Horse continued to walk up the road so I broke into a jog. Horse started trotting. I tried to run faster, but horse is a Gelderlander and has one hell of a spanking trot when she gets going. I went back to walk, horse went back to walk. We did this for quite some time through a housing estate, probably for about a mile, with cars coming at us and me waving them down. Eventually, she was a little way ahead of me when she turned a corner into a side road and was out of sight, I started running hell for leather with images of her galloping off down the road. But I got round the corner and she was waiting for me! I think she had scared herself when she lost sight of me, I've never been so grateful to own a horse that suffers from separation anxiety.
 

Alibear

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I'm frequently guilty of tacking up malfunctions. Often reins crossed or caught up in the noseband or throatlatch. My steering has never been a strong point, and after 40 years, it's become evident that tacking up isn't either. I'm equally bad with Western tack as I am English.
 

Sprat

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I had a really stupid one last year. Went for a lesson and was enjoying the sunshine and having a sing song while tacking up, clearly didn't check my girth correctly. Got on from my step, saddle slipped slightly. Instead of getting off and adjusting it, I hoiked it over to the other side with my seat / leg. Very very stupid idea on a horse who already has a back of glass.

Proceeded to rodeo like buggery in the school, which I sat to for a while. Was getting fed up with being thrown about so cleverly decided to aim her towards the wall to stop her. What actually happened was I got darted at speed into said wall.

I thought I'd got off scot free but as I was blundering around looking for my glasses that had come off, I realised my head was pouring with blood - my glasses had actually sliced through the skin on my eye upon impact and had cut down to bone. In hospital for 2 days with a horrible concussion and ended up having surgery to stitch up my eye, and I now have permanent scarring on my face.

I will never again sit on a horse while wearing glasses. Also I generally try to engage my brain and fix a slipped saddle in the appropriate manner!
 

fidleyspromise

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I used to have about 1 min of roadwork between field and stable so one day I took my tack to field to bring horse in. Tack her up and girth is too small so I leave saddle on her back, girth over my arm and use mounting block to get on and off we go. I'm not sure if that's the same day I had their 2 feed buckets in my hand too.

I often sit in front of Highland while clipping/brushing.

I took Highland into stable and took headcollar off. I then went to exit stable so went behind her at same time she turned and her fat butt squashed and pushed my arm against the wall. I was in agony and thought my arm was broken - it looked deformed. I had a trainer coming to pick my other horse up in 20 mins and had to message them to jet them know what happened while my friend took me to a and e. Now I turn her to face the door.

We used to untie horses in morning and they made their way to the field. This day they chose not to and here's 17 Yr old me chasing 2 large ponies and a small pony down the driveway with no lead ropes. Down to the road and they trot along the verge. A horse went past and they ducked into the distillery and down a track. They changed their minds and turned back so here's me in the middle of the track waving my arms trying to get MY horse to stop and the beggar canters straight at me so I jump out the way and chase them back the way. I finally catch my one (the ringleader), grab the other big one and realise I've run out of hands.
A worker comes out and offers to help so he takes the small one back to the farm and they all go safely to the field. Later that day my dad asks how the horses are and I look at him innocently. The worker that helped me was his boss and the manager of the distillery. Whoops. Thankfully, they had a laugh about it.

If Highland doesn't come down the hill I take the wheelbarrow up, do poo picking and collect her on the way. I have been known to wrap her lead rope around the handle so my hands are free for the wheelbarrow.

My field is a couple minutes walk from my friends field so I grabbed my show gear into my car and then grabbed the Highland and with my hand holding her rope out the window, I drove round the yard with my pony walking beside my car. We managed to spook other horses in their fields 😂 but she was fab and she's well used to my antics by now. This was only a few weeks ago.
 

fidleyspromise

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There was also the time I put a crupper on my Highland as saddle was sliding forward. Lots of lunging and she took it in stride. Got on and she was good.....until we trotted and then I felt how agile she was - vertical bronc sent me flying into the arena fence.
We no longer use a crupper after that day.
 

Caol Ila

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I was putting a hoofboot on my Highland today and sitting directly in front of his front leg, sorting out the straps, with the breeze block wall against my back.

OH was brushing or faffing with the pony’s tail lights, and I said to him, “By the way, this is not good horse safety.” Did I reposition the horse or myself? Nope.
 

Caol Ila

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Does wading into arguments with strangers on Facebook count as being an idiot?

I couldn't help myself. Moth, meet light. Someone on a Facebook hillwalking group complained that their lovely day hiking in the Glen Etive mountains was 'ruined' when they saw someone using a pair of Highland ponies to carry hinds off the hill. They bemoaned that the poor horses were being exploited, and it was so sad that they were still used as 'beasts of burden' in this day an age. Yeah, I could not stop myself from pointing out that these horses have been bred for this job for hundreds of years, that working breeds of horses appreciate a job, and these ponies are so strong, so surefooted, so adept at carrying heavy things on rough terrain (in the case of my Highland, I'm the heavy thing, but he would be fine with a deer). And ponies cause far less damage to the environment than those six-wheeled or tracked vehicles you see on Highland estates. Those things are terrible for the peatland. It would be great if more estates went retro and used ponies.

At least I avoided opening the can of worms about horse sport and horse riding in general. I can't imagine that the person who wrote the post mentally made the connection between the deer ponies in Glen Etive, the racehorses they like betting on every weekend, and the riding school ponies their kid has had couple lessons on, or the ranch horses they rode on that holiday in Arizona.*

*I have no clue if they're into those things, but ya know, generalizing most of the general public's connection with horses.
 
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Tarragon

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I have thought of another one! Back in my youth, I fell off into the water at a water jump at a Pony Club rally, early on in the day, and continued riding for the rest of the day - then from then on, the saddle had a bum shaped stain on the saddle seat that I could not get rid of :oops:
 

Berpisc

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Somewhere Northern where there is mud
I had a really stupid one last year. Went for a lesson and was enjoying the sunshine and having a sing song while tacking up, clearly didn't check my girth correctly. Got on from my step, saddle slipped slightly. Instead of getting off and adjusting it, I hoiked it over to the other side with my seat / leg. Very very stupid idea on a horse who already has a back of glass.

Proceeded to rodeo like buggery in the school, which I sat to for a while. Was getting fed up with being thrown about so cleverly decided to aim her towards the wall to stop her. What actually happened was I got darted at speed into said wall.

I thought I'd got off scot free but as I was blundering around looking for my glasses that had come off, I realised my head was pouring with blood - my glasses had actually sliced through the skin on my eye upon impact and had cut down to bone. In hospital for 2 days with a horrible concussion and ended up having surgery to stitch up my eye, and I now have permanent scarring on my face.

I will never again sit on a horse while wearing glasses. Also I generally try to engage my brain and fix a slipped saddle in the appropriate manner!
Ouchy ouch!
 

ArklePig

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15 July 2019
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Just last night, had pony tied up, duly gave him some hay when a puppy came by. Of course I lost all sense of reason, kneeled down with my back to the pony and proceeded to fuss dog, while my unprotected head was at perfect kicking height. Pony is an angel, but still! What not to do 101.
 

Chippers1

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I thought of this thread as I mis judged how long it would take me to sort stuff on the yard and walked back home across fields, in the dark...
 

Caol Ila

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I win today. Actually, I win nothing, except for being a moron.

Caso's owner sent me a message saying the YO had told her that I'd cancelled Hermosa's farrier appointment tomorrow, so farrier was only doing Caso. This was news to me. I had cancelled an appointment a month or so ago, because she did not have enough new growth to trim, but last week, I'd sent him a text asking to add her to Caso's appointment on Wednesday. Or so I thought.

I'd sent the text to someone in my phone called "Stephen farrier" but it was not that Stephen, and not that farrier. He didn't answer it, but I'm so accustomed to farriers not answering texts that I didn't think anything of it. I clearly should have.
 
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