When do you call it a day??

M

montysmum1

Well-Known Member
Joined
6 August 2010
Messages
435
Location
Wales
Visit site
I have posted previously about my mare, who was hit by a car last october, and has not come sound since, and I am unsure of how much longer to continue with things...

She had her lameness work up a few weeks ago, this showed lameness on all 4 legs now. Bilaterally behind from the pelvis injury, and bilaterally in front with suspected suspensory ligament desmitis which the vet thinks is due to her compensating for the hindlimb problems.

Unfortunately this work up made her significantly more lame, she was put on 4 danilon/day and she was still lame/uncomfortable, after 7days I had to reduce this to 2/day on the vet's advice as 4/day is such a high dose but she is obviously very uncomfortable, neither box rest nor quiet turnout seem to help.

She's going for a Bone Scan on Monday, and hopefully this will highlight something we can treat, but i am trying to be realistic as she cannot carry on as she is unless we find something we can fix or improve.

But how the hell do you decide when enough is enough?? She's my baby and i'm desperate not to lose her, but i don't want her to suffer either, and seeing her in pain is breaking me... What are your thoughts please??
 
awww feeling for you hun, never a nice thought she sounds like she is some discomfort and depending on the bone scan and results of this, then if it was me I would have to seriously think about letting her go peacefully if she will continue to be in pain/lame even if the danillon etc isn't working for her.

My heart does go out to you, but it's the last act of kindness we can ever do for our friends.
Been there done that.....and I felt better knowing he was out of pain.
big hugs to you
 
So very sory to hear about her accident and puts you in such a distressing situation as her mum. My point of view would be entirely based on her current and prospective quality of life. Can she or will she ever do the things she always used to do that made her happy? And if so how long will it take her to get back to that? How is she to you? You will know her character better tham anyone - is she happy? You will know yourself how she feels and you have to make the desision for her best interests and not because you would miss her. I know it's an awful desision to make and am not looking forward to making it for my beasties! Good luck to you and your mare whatever route you take.
 
Oh dear what an awful situation to be in. I regularly have the 'when to call it a day' about my 30yr old boy. He was very lame a few weeks ago but is sound again now, each time I worry that he will stay lame.

What does your vet say? Have they advised you at all?

How does she seem in herself? Is she miserable? Its so hard to pass opinion on someones elses horse. Being completely honest, reading your post made me think that perhaps its time. But, remember that is completely without any emotional attachement. As soon as I thought about my boy, I had that horrid tummy feeling that I am sure you know well. My vet is very good and if they thought it was time would tell me, so I would really consider what your vet has to say.
 
Sounds to me like you already know what you need to do and it will all revolve around the bone scan.

Have had to make the decision myself in the past and it has to be head-over-heart, with the pleasure that she has obviously given you does she deserve to suffer any more if the scan doesn't show anything that can be treated? If you didn't 'make the call' would you be doing that for her or for you? She can't decide so you have to do the right thing for her.

Feel your pain.
 
I can only go on what I'd do myself, so if after the scan there was no other possitve sure treatment but plenty of ''if's but's and we could try this'' and my horse still required drugs to in order to live a half comfortable life then I'd have my horse PTS, you can carry on trying various things and racking up huge bills but where do you stop, will you end up with a horse you can ride at the end of it all, if not, are you bothered? so very hard decision to make of course if it had to come to that.

Obvioulsy it's easy for us to say what we'd do and not do but we can't judge the situation like you, you know your horse and all the in's and outs of it all treatment wise, it's not quite as black and white as mentioned above.

I'd try not to worry too much about it until she has been for the scan, you never know this could be the start of hopefully some light at the end of the tunnel, either way, least it's a step forward so you will be clearer on what to do.

Fingers crossed for you.
 
All that you have said is what i was afraid of, my head agrees with you and i'd be telling someone else in my situation the same.

I've had her for 10 years and literally done EVERYTHING with her, I know it's a cliche but she really is the perfect horse and i utterly adore her, she's my best friend and there's nothing i wouldn't trust her with, she has a heart of gold and really is one in a million and i guess that's why i want a reason not to let go. I accepted months ago that i'd probably never ride her again, but i'd love to just keep her as a pet for as many years as possible, but only if she can be happy and pain free.

She's still very loving but clearly subdued because of the pain.
 
I have just been in the same position as you, and feel so much better knowing my beautiful girl is not in pain anymore!! If i was you I would get it done sooner rather than later if she's not getting any better. It's horrible to think about and plan, but at least you know you are doing the right thing for your horse.xx
 
My advice would depend on the situation and horse

If you have insurance, I would be going for LOU as a starting point

Then if injury is due to accident and she has good breeding lines and confirmation, I would take her off the drugs completely and turn out

In July assess whether she is better or worse and take it from there - you could either turn away for a year or consider breeding if she is good enough and injury can take the weight.

The reason why take off the drugs is to slow her down on turnout
 
Sorry, not very helpful was I? Clearly you have a plan and you have set your limits to what you honestly believe is fair for her, no matter what it will do to you.

I don't think you will let her go a moment beyond where what she is suffering 'now', is worth the pain-free future she will have if, what they find can be fixed. In other words, if she is at the end of the road, you won't ask her to walk on any further.

My heart goes out to you and forgive me but I can't think of anything terrible enough to happen to the driver who has put you and your horse through all this. I truly hope for a miracle for you and pretty much unending rubbish for them. Can't help it, but I do.

(hugs) x
 
montysmum1 said:
All that you have said is what i was afraid of, my head agrees with you and i'd be telling someone else in my situation the same.

I've had her for 10 years and literally done EVERYTHING with her, I know it's a cliche but she really is the perfect horse and i utterly adore her, she's my best friend and there's nothing i wouldn't trust her with, she has a heart of gold and really is one in a million and i guess that's why i want a reason not to let go. I accepted months ago that i'd probably never ride her again, but i'd love to just keep her as a pet for as many years as possible, but only if she can be happy and pain free.

She's still very loving but clearly subdued because of the pain.
Click to expand...

what a shame :(

I feel awful for you as I know how it feels to make such a hard decision. I think, if I were you I would await the outcomeof the bone scan and have a chat with your vet. Ask them realistically how much quality of life your horse is going to have. I think I would be swayed towards having her put to sleep and as hard as it is it also gives you slight feeling of relief as you know your lovely mare will never have to suffer. Its absolutely devestating and I know how much you love her because I know how much I love my mare and its too difficult to express accross a keyboard. Whatever you decide, remember you have given each other so much and the memories will never fade. She will always be in your heart. I had to make this decision with my old horse (my 1st horse who i sadly only had for 9 months:() and i know have her shoe at my front door and i will never forget her;)

good luck, and please dont feel alone, there are many of us on here who have been in a similar sad predicament and we are all here to support you in whatever you do x
 
Unfortunately she isn't insured for LOU, she has fantastic breeding, but hte vets have completely ruled out breeding from her due to the pelvis injury. " danilon a day isn't enough to make her pain free, she just ambles around the field now anyway, even when her companion has a 'funny 5 mins' she just watches now, where before the injury she'd have joined in (she's an ex-racehorse... usually any excuse is good enough to gallop) :-(
 
Ah - sorry, its very difficult then - you can either carry on; as if you had been hit by a car in October chances are you'd still be healing

On the other hand if the outlook is bleak I wouldn't want to leave one of mine like that :(

Let the bone scan and the vet guide you in the outlook and then do what you feel comfortable with.

Virtual *hugs* either way
 
All good advice above I think. For me, I would have the bone scan done so that there will be no "what ifs". However it does not in all honesty sound as if it will have a happy result. Assuming there is no good news I think I would call it a day. Having done it twice I know how very hard this is but sometimes just reaching a decision can give you a sense of relief no matter how heartbreaking. I am so sad for you. Best wishes for the bone scan.
 
Massive hugs to you and your mare.
If the bone scan is being done pdq and after there can be a good plan of action with a positive outcome likely, with good pain relief then I would keep going. If you get a better idea of what is wrong, but still lots of ifs and buts for treating her, or you can't keep her on enough pain meds then I'm afraid I would pts. Makes it sound so easy to just type it out like that, and I just can't imagine what a hard decision it is to make when you are taking it for your best friend, but rest assured that it is the kindest decision you can ever make for an animal. No end could be kinder than a planned and calm one which is a relief from pain. If you do decide to take that route, then at least you can have some more time with her, get her pain free and let the both of you enjoy a last few days together. Love her and then let her go to sleep happy - no one could ever expect you to do more for you mare.
hugs xxx
 
montysmum1 said:
Unfortunately she isn't insured for LOU, she has fantastic breeding, but hte vets have completely ruled out breeding from her due to the pelvis injury. " danilon a day isn't enough to make her pain free, she just ambles around the field now anyway, even when her companion has a 'funny 5 mins' she just watches now, where before the injury she'd have joined in (she's an ex-racehorse... usually any excuse is good enough to gallop) :-(
Click to expand...

sweatheart I think you know the answer....and you are trying to justify it (which you dont need to) Usually when we have to ask these questions we probably deep down know what we need to do....your horse is very lucky to have such a caring owner , some horses dont have someone to make the right decisions for them and are left for the rest of days to suffer. My horse was like yours, on bute everyday but this wasnt keeping her sound-she began to lie down alot in the field which wasnt like her and this told me that it was time. She was only 13 and i thought i was going to have a nervous breakdown- i was ruined. I found the decision so hard to make at 1st because she was still happy to see me, loved her food and was so loving..but i couldnt bare the thought of upping her bute and having a phonecall saying that she had gone down and couldnt get up- i would have been racked with guilt. Somebody said to me " its better a day too soon than a day too late" and i couldnt agree more...let you horses last days be as pain free as possible, MAKE the decision, dont wait until you have no choice. When a horse goes, the only one who feels the pain is the owner- this is so true!! U will be in so much pain for a while, but knowing that your humble companion isnt suffering will give you comfort...

I know its not what you will be thinking about a the moment....but look further down the line....

I now have a beautiful horse (in my profile pic:)) and she is my best bud-my soul mate! it doesnt make me love my old horse any less, she taught me so much and im so greatful. But now I can have fun and enjoy riding my horse and I can aalso enjoy looking at pics of my old horse and knowing that i did the right thing at the right time and i know she would be thankful to me ;) x
 
Maesfen said:
She has no quality of life, I'm sorry, I would have called time a long time ago.
Click to expand...

I hear what you are saying, but lets remember there is a real person who is hurting badly at the other end of the computer. We should try to remain tactful, this is somebody who's having a really traumatic time & if it were as simple as you'd put it Im sure thats what she would have done.
 
ok your horse and very unfortunate accident back in october and has not been sound since throught no fault of your own. there are multiple problems with multiple limbs.
you your self say she is subdued because of the pain.

while i wish there was a magic wand that i could raise and to help your situation i don't think there is

i have no problem with horses being put on long term bute as you say it is like us taking asprin etc

but i think you might need to look at the situation objectively, which i appreciate is difficult

this year i lost my oldie at the age of 32 i had owned him for 25 yrs, he was under vet care etc, i had some criteria for doing the deed
1. stopped eating
2. colic will treat for initial pain relief/muscle relaxent but nothing else
3. had problems getting up (he could still pop up at that age)

if he had cut himself and need stiches then i would treat but if he needed box rest etc then the deed would be done as what would his quality of life be?

i thought i was prepared

he caught me out, popped him on the walker in morning fine pushing round etc, got a phone call early afternoon and he was down in the box and wedge in the corner, the lovely people at the tried to get him up before i got there ( 1 was an 1hr away). i rang 1/2 to the yard still no joy and made the descion there and then to phone the vet and arrange the deed. got to the yard 15 min before the vet. i wanted him to go with dignity, i did not want to have him dragged up etc.

the week before when turned out he had rolled under my mare and then tried to get up into her belly between her legs ps did she move nope! in hind sight which is a great thing i should have done it then, he had lost his self preservation


what i am trying to say and very badly, put yourself in her shoes, i am a great memeber of the better the day to early than a day to late club. you have tried with this mare, say the scan comes back with a hot spot in the front leg that is treatable but the pelvis isn't what will your descion be? you can't treat that leg and forget the rest of the horse can you?

take a deep breath and decide, if she wasn't your horse how would you advise someone else?

hugs honey and have some ice cream from me
 
Hi. I do not know the whole story here so what were the circumstances of the accident? How long ago was it? Also, how old is you mare? Obviously it does sound like she was quite badly injured but are we talking damaged tendons, ligaments, bones etc? Sorry but I just was trying to find out some more as I wans't sure what has happened.

It certainly does sound like you have and are doing all you can and in reality noone on here can tell you what is best for your or your mare, only you will know at the end of the day. If i was in the same boat as you i would want to know all the facts and I too would be doing all i could to try and get to the bottom of the cause of the problem.

What treatment has she had so far? what damage was done to her pelvis, did she break it? God, it's so hard as a year in some ways is not that long at all to recover from such an accident but we are talking a horse not a human and they only know they are in pain, not that it may be better in months/years down the line.

I feel for you so much but again, if I was inyour situation I would pull out all the stops as you are and would wait for the bone scan before making this huge decision.

Best of luck.
 
Big Hugs to you and to your dear horse (((HUGS)))

Years ago a horse I'd owned for 12 years developed Navicular - bute and corrective shoeing didn't work so I retired him. But it wasn't his way - any excuse for a gallop around the paddock was his joy in life - but it left him crippled for days after.

I loved him to pieces and it broke my heart to see my beautiful boy in pain.

It was a hard decision to make but I decided to have him PTS. He died with his head in my arms and is buried at my friends farm. He's now happily galloping pain free in horse heaven.

10 years on reliving that last time with him still brings tears to my eyes. I think of him often with fond memories which bring a smile to my face.

It's hard hun but I think in your heart you know what you need to do. No horse has replaced him in my heart but I have one now that has her own place there and is loved as much without guilt.

(((HUGS)))
 
Just a quick ad - not anything near the same as not a mahor accident but my old pony who had bone spavin and was quite stiff had an accident in a water fence with me and after a week recuperating he seemed ok but when ridden he was absolutely crippled. i thought his time was up and his spavin etc had just finally got too much but we to give him the benefit of the doubt we got a great physio out who we'd had before. She explained to me how after the accident (he took a very heavy fall at high speed and was submerged for a good while) he had been ok initially but then all his muscles had tightened effectively in the wrong places hence the crippled movement (bute did not really help him). She gave him two pretty thorough treatments over about a 2 week period and after that he was sounder than he'd ever been since being diagnosed with spavin.

I guess what I am saying - you've probably already done this anyway - if the vet doesn't find anything conclusive you could try some alternative treatments.

I don't want to make your situation worse, as i said you've probably already done it but just thought I'd let you know my experience.
 
It's always a horrible decision to have to make and I'm sure it's been made worse for you as it is all someone else's fault.
I have to say that I always try to make quality of life the over-riding consideration and I'm not sure that for a horse the possibility of recovery in year's time is worth weeks/months of pain/discomfort. I can't imagine that I would send a horse for colic surgery for example, which required months of box-rest.
We have had good results with both magnets and acupuncture if you are considering trying alternatives, as LadyT25 suggested.
 
Thank you everyone, for your kindness and sense.

Yes I do know what needs to be done, I realised as I was writing the first post, but yes I suppose I also wanted justification and reassurance that I am doing the right thing.

She's having her bone scan on Monday, and unless there is clearly something that will be easily and quickly fixed then that will be the end of the road. I can't keep her as she is, 6 months of rest hasn't helped at all, nor has physio, and if anything she's getting worse, so something dramatic needs fixing or there's nothing else to be done.

I HAVE to have the scan done, for my own peace of mind, I need to know there if there is anything else that can be done, otherwise I will always be wondering, I had a long chat with my vet last night and she is in full agreement with me.

Thank you again for your support xx
 
Well she had her bone scan yesterday, i've not had a full report from the specialist yet as she was stuck on an emergency last night, but the basic run down is massive hot spot in her spine (t15), probably injured from twisting on impact, and her neck?? and as expected both sacro-illiac joints, hocks and fetlocks in front.
I've asked for further x-rays of her spine and neck today, to confirm the findings, but despite all my hopes and wishes it is not looking like i will get my miracle :(
The specialist is contacting me later today to discuss her findings.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top