When he maybe isn't your horse of a lifetime .... HELP!

Antw23uk

Antw23uk

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I'm after some advise or maybe just to have a little 'get it all out there moment' .. bear with me I will try and keep this short and sweet ....

I've owned my gelding for four years, he has been AMAZING and I've always thought of him as my horse of a lifetime. He is sane, sensible, handsome, talented and ticks pretty much every single box you can imagine (just dont mention clipping, hey .. a boy needs one fault surely!)

This time last year we had moved into our new property and he came 'home' so a dream come true for me having my own land and stables. After some thought and a few wrong companion decisions I took on a lovely mare from a friend with a view to buy her whenever and if ever I wanted. I don't do mares, she is a short arse at 16.1 and a bit too cobby for my liking but she was nice enough and fulfilled a job of happy hack and companion.

I brought her a couple of months ago, it was a no brainer!

8 months later and I'm completely in love with this mare. She is amazing and is truely exceeding all my expectations. She is no world beater but my god she will give it a try and would jump the moon for me. I cannot wait to ride her, to educate her and to take her out and about to see the world ... and take the world on, thats how she makes me feel. She is my little pocket rocket.

I very rarely ride my gelding, I dont get the same buzz from him anymore. He is safe, reliable and predictable and that isnt what I want anymore. I've had a sharer for him who has now found her own horse and I have a lovely lady riding him for the summer and with her transport we are getting out and about to fun rides, clinics etc I feel so guilty, he loves the PC/RC lifestyle and as much as I try and share the love and attention I inevitably spend more on my mare and the guilt is killing me.

Yes he is happy out 24/7 and being ridden a few times a week but I think as a whole he deserves so much more and if im really honest its breaking my heart looking at him when I've spent so long saying he's my horse of a lifetime ... but actually now I just think he was the horse I needed at the time I needed him but isnt anymore!

Life isnt working out as planned with this property, with the land, stables so its not long term and I think if I'm honest we will sell in a couple of years and the new property wont have land so that means I will go back to livery (shock horror, lol!) and with that comes the realisation that I can only afford one horse. My gelding is ten now, I know if im going to make the decision to sell, it needs to be now.

I'm not sure what advice I'm after, perhaps someone has been in the same position? I cant help thinking a few grand in my pocket which would most likely mean my own transport and a cheap and cheerful companion in the field for my mare, is the best way forward .....

If you got this far then thank you :)
 
from what you've said it does sound like selling him and getting yourself mobile would be a sensible option. There is no need to feel guilt in this situation, the horse knows nothing of your mental anguish and besides which, as you say he was right for you at the time and you've moved on a bit now.
That's quite normal, plenty of people sell on horses when they are ready for or want something different, if he is straightforward as you say, you should have no difficulty finding him a home that dotes on him.
 
I think you've answered your own question there. It's a no brainier just sell him to a good home where he can shine. There's no need to feel bad or guilty and you can get him a lovely home.

I just got a message from a girl I sold a broodmares to six weeks ago. She's got her in foal and she's absolutely in love with her. The mare was wasted with me as I'm not breeding right now. I'm so happy for my lovely mare - she's in the right home and I placed her there.

You'll be doing the gelding a favour and you can choose who takes him and hold out for the right person. It's a very buoyant market now and a horse like that will be in demand. There's no need to be fretting, it's the right thing to do and he'll be better of in the long run.
 
You've obviously thought about it carefully and it seems that selling the gelding (who sounds very desirable) is a sensible thing to do. Just choose your next companion carefully as you want to buy something that will be sellable in a couple of years. Maybe a large native pony that's 2 yo, grow it on, give it good ground training and then have it professionally backed ready for sale when the move comes along?
 
Faracat said:
You've obviously thought about it carefully and it seems that selling the gelding (who sounds very desirable) is a sensible thing to do. Just choose your next companion carefully as you want to buy something that will be sellable in a couple of years. Maybe a large native pony that's 2 yo, grow it on, give it good ground training and then have it professionally backed ready for sale when the move comes along?
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This is a good point - a companion pony from a charity would be another option.
 
Don't feel bad!

It will be hard to say goodbye to him, but he was the perfect boy for the time you needed him - and if you find a great home for him he can go on to be that for someone else - and hopefully he'll be their horse of a lifetime. Best for both of you :-) (and I second getting a lovely rescue companion!)
 
Not like you to be torn over this sort of thing Ant! I agree with everyone else, the gelding has obviously done a fair static job for you over the past few years and now you're in the position to let him move on and be someone Elsa's horse of a lifetime or horse of now. There's no shame in that and it's obvious from your posts that you'd make sure he got a first class home.
 
Horses like him are so rare, you will be able to pick his home. Well looked after he could be working another 10-12 years. I would take my time and find him that special home.
 
Ah another mare convert <3

My overriding reaction to your post is that yes, I can see why you should probably sell your gelding. However, you are talking about a timeframe of two years before you will possibly be moving to livery. This is nothing in terms of the value of your gelding. The difference in being able to sell a 10 year old and a 12 year old is miniscule. However, the downside of selling him now may be enormous:

1) He and your mare get along really well. Your mare may be stressed when he leaves.
2) The new cheap and chearful companion may not get on well with your mare and may end up a money pit or be difficult in a multitude of possible ways.
3) Said cheap companion still costs the same to keep in livery and so you will presumably be having to sell another horse in two years time. This companion will probably not be so easy to place as your gelding and you may also therefore be facing a PTS situation.

My advice is to keep your gelding for now.
 
I'd sell him, seems the best thing for him and you :) it also means you can realise his value (which sounds like it won't be insignificant and invest that in your girl by getting some transport. If you wait until you have to go down to one anything could happen in that time.
 
ihatework said:
Sell him.
Give him the chance to be someone else's number one forever horse.
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Exactly this! You've had some good advice already which I agree with but, I thought I'd share my story which sounds very similar to yours. I had an amazing bombproof boy, took me from nervous novice to hunting, sj, trec, jumpcross, dressage , sponsored rides, you name it. I loved him to bits but over time I wanted a little more, and it just didn't suit him and I ended up getting a 2nd who was more suited. I agonized over it but eventually loaned and then sold him to my sharer (even though people thought I was mad!). My OH said almost the exact same thing as IHW - he was such a good horse, he deserved to be someone else's No 1 horse. It made my cry at the time but I realised he was right. She still has him and loves him to bits, and he has the perfect home with her.

Whether you sell now or not is another decision, but def don't feel bad if you do decide to let him be someone else's perfect horse :-)
 
I'd look for a companion now before you sell so your mare won't be too unsettled and then advertise you.
You know exactly what you want to do so do it!! And good luck xx
 
Sukistokes2 said:
If he is as sane as you say, I wish I could borrow him !!!!!
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If I was closer (am in Devon) I'd be now PM'ing you and haranguing you for a viewing PDQ!! He sounds perfect and exactly what a lot of people are looking for. I've been looking for 18 months now and would die for a horse like this which is easily viewable from here.............
 
Wagtail said:
1) He and your mare get along really well. Your mare may be stressed when he leaves.
2) The new cheap and chearful companion may not get on well with your mare and may end up a money pit or be difficult in a multitude of possible ways.
3) Said cheap companion still costs the same to keep in livery and so you will presumably be having to sell another horse in two years time. This companion will probably not be so easy to place as your gelding and you may also therefore be facing a PTS situation.
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I think I will have to respectfully disagree with all of this, when I search for horses I always cap the search at 10 years, i'm sure there are many who also do. Remember a horses are classed as veterans from 15, so however fit and healthy he is 12 is nearer the "older" end of the spectrum! And anything could happen in the span of two years that could make him less sellable (field injuries etc.) He sounds like a dream, and i'm sure you could sell him over and over so why put it off when he could go on and become someone else's horse of a lifetime?

If you decide to go down the companion route I would get something in now whilst you have your own land so that your mare will have time to bond and not have the stress of your gelding leaving and then something new arriving. I would also get something from the blue cross or similar so that if you do make the move to livery they will be able to take it back/rehome from home. If you are looking at purely a companion then there are lots of hardy little unridden ponies and cobs that won't be "money pits" and you won't need to dispose of afterwards....
 
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Don't feel bad about your gelding - you've had a lovely few years together and he was what you needed when you needed it. Now its time for him to be what someone else needs.

A horse of a lifetime is exactly that - one horse who's made your lifetime and only comes round once. He sounds like a cracking horse, and a great friend, and there should be no guilt that he isn't the one. I lost my 'lifetime horse' and now have another who I love dearly, but can never quite think of like I did my old boy. There's no guilt, only appreciation that his lovely new horse is helping me grieve and remember my little guy. Likewise your gelding has been a great friend to you over the past few years, and possibly even helped you find your once in a lifetime!
 
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