When I’m elected god…

[Squeak]

After a bit of a choccy feast today, can I please add that all chocolate products should be free of calories and good for your health

Oh this is one of my dreams - could we go a step further and make it actually help you to lose weight - then you could go on a chocolate diet!

 

[blitznbobs]

After a bit of a choccy feast today, can I please add that all chocolate products should be free of calories and good for your health

How about all excess calories are excreted from the body with no ill effects - this goes for humans , dogs and horses so no worries about summer turn out and everyone’s body is always exactly the size that looks good in the clothes they want to wear …

 

[FFAQ]

To those worrying about God elections, I believe Terry Pratchett has solved this problem. Gods need belief to exist. Therefore, I am a believer in this marvellous new God and worship at the altar of Blitznbobs!

 

[catembi]

I would vote for you on the strength of the mud thing alone. All clay soil everywhere should be instantly changed to loam, except for the bits by the gateway/high traffic areas which should be magic soil which stays perfectly dry and mud-free no matter what the weather.

Seriously, if I won the Euromillions, I would happily spend £127mn getting my soil replaced or my entire property mud control matted. With magic mud control mats which can cope with 'interesting' contours and which are laid by elves and NOT by me...

 

[little_critter]

To those worrying about God elections, I believe Terry Pratchett has solved this problem. Gods need belief to exist. Therefore, I am a believer in this marvellous new God and worship at the altar of Blitznbobs!

“Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.”

And

“I don't hold with paddlin' with the occult," said Granny firmly. "Once you start paddlin' with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are you're believing in gods. And then you're in trouble."
"But all them things exist," said Nanny Ogg.
"That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.”

Granny Weatherwax is a very wise lady

pssst
The turtle moves!

 

[blitznbobs]

“Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.”

And

“I don't hold with paddlin' with the occult," said Granny firmly. "Once you start paddlin' with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are you're believing in gods. And then you're in trouble."
"But all them things exist," said Nanny Ogg.
"That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.”

Granny Weatherwax is a very wise lady

pssst
The turtle moves!

I always wanted a horse called binky