Which home would you choose??? I just can't decide - don't want him to go . . .

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suzi

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Unfortunately I have had to try and find a loan home for my 15hh Connemara. I've got two people who are very interested but I'm really struggling to make up my mind and I don't think it's helped by the fact that I don't really want him to go anywhere!!

He's 14, has competed with me in local RC stuff (jumping up to 3ft and prelim dressage) but he mainly hacks out and does the odd schooling session, is very easy to do, generally a real sweetheart. I advertised him as looking for a slightly quieter life (jumping up to 2ft6 ish, hacking out etc etc). I've owned him for nearly 9 years.

Home 1 - for an 11 year old girl, about 45 mins away from me. 2x lessons per week and PC rallies and hacking. He'd be in at night, out during the day (same as at home). Jumping up to 2ft3 ish for the moment. They are looking for the loan to last 18months ish.

Home 2 - about 10 mins away with an older lady (and poss her daughter to ride occasionally too). in at night out during the day, mainly hacking out 3 or 4 times a week, occasional schooling and possibly jumping very occasionally. Looking to loan for however long, possibly indefinitely but probably at least 3 - 4 years.

What would you do????
 
It depends if you intend to have him back at any point and what work he was doing with you. If I was you I would seriously consider if your horse would rather do pc stuff or gentle plodding. Its not how far away the horse is but the home he is going to. Think of your horses enjoyment not yours!
 
Home 2.

The girl at home 1 will want more and more from him as she gets older - would he cope with that or is he slowing down for a reason? And it's only short term. It sounds like home 2 will be long term and the quieter life you want for him. And home 2 is closer.
 
Home 2 definitely.
As the girl gets more confident on him, she may want to do more, and as you said, you want a slightly quieter life for him. Home 2 sounds ideal IMO.
 
Home two as the mum and daughter share sounds more laid back.

However, another thing to take into account is the level of horse care knowledge both parties have. Do they know enough about feeding/injuries/worming/signs of illness etc?

This is something which can get overlooked.
 
He does want a quieter life but does still enjoy his jumping and competing / going to parties occasionally.

I'm leaning towards Home 2 because it is quieter and likely to last longer (also was a word of mouth contact from my RI). Home 1 will only be for 18 months and I can't guarentee my circumstances will have changed much before then if he was to come back.

I also have the option of being cheeky and asking the Home 2 lady if I can pop him round the odd XC at Fair Oak myself as he's so close.

I'm concerned though as Home 1 have been pestering (I saw their yard last weekend) and am visiting home 2 tomorrow - have had decsriptions from my RI tho) and really want to know if they can have him. the daughter is very excitied and has been writing a shopping list of stuff. They have even stopped looking at ponies as they like him so much.

I've been honest from the word go that there was another person in the loop and that I would be chosing between the 2 places but they still seem to be acting like he's def going to be there's.

I think he would be well looked after and loved in both homes but I really want to get it right for him :(.
 
Home 2 would be my choice.

Nice and close for you to go see him, he will still be in familiar surroundings so not so stressful for him.

Long term option - again good for him.

Nice chilled out home where he can take things easier without getting bored & hopefully you can still enjoy him on odd occassions.


Home 1 sound as thought they are playing the emotional blackmail card on you (however consiously or unconciously) that would steer me away from them instantly.
 
Home 1 is short term - 18months - so you could explain to the parents exactly what his limits are and if she outgrows those limits before hand he would have to come back. but to be honest, there are plenty RC / PC ponies going about for young girls

Home 2 - nice relaxed life for your horse, bit variation in his riders, nice and close for you so you can visit and ride him too (which i couldnt ever see being a problem!) between the mother and daughter, he will probably have the best of care, and you are always close enough to be on hand if they need advice or a help if they are going on holiday etc. sounds like the perfect option
 
Well i think you have kind of made your mind up and everyone else agrees including me.....home 2 it would be for me and my horse if i had to do it. just be careful that he is only ten mins away that you don't end up there every five minutes checking up on him. :D
 
The only thing against number 2 is you say he would still like to compete at the moment.. so by going for the easy life for you would you be denying him a year or two more fun?

we only have to look at the number of 16 to 19yr olds competing at WEG to know they are capable of more for longer than they used to be.

Then when the time comes look for a proper 'slower home' for him
 
Sammii819 said:
Well i think you have kind of made your mind up and everyone else agrees including me.....home 2 it would be for me and my horse if i had to do it. just be careful that he is only ten mins away that you don't end up there every five minutes checking up on him. :D
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I think you might be right!!

I do feel emotionally under pressure from the whole thing and the 'not disappointing the girl' card has made me feel even worse. I've been clear about what I need (my ideal minimum loan was 2 years) and what I want from him. I've also told them I can't do anything for definite until I've been to home 2 to see. This week I've had 3 emails, 2 voicemails on my mobile and 3 voice mails at home.

Am mega busy at work so have emailed back to her but not had time to call and can't tell them any more until I've seen this yard anyway.

How do I break the news? I feel so under pressure generally with every thing else anyway I just don't need the extra stress!!!

GRRRRR - I hate feeling like this!
 
I'm on the fence to be honest.

I think you need to weigh up who is more capable of looking after him. He sounds like he still has a lot to give in my opinion! I'd take him if he was a bit bigger!! :D

If it were my horse, I would be more open to give the young girl a chance. What are her parents like? Are they horsey?

Have both these homes had horses before?

Home 2 sounds so idealic, but if it is a mother and daughter share, how many times a week will he be ridden? and what if the daughter wants to do pc/rc? Then your horse will have twice as much work to do, keeping both sharers happy.
 
soulfull said:
The only thing against number 2 is you say he would still like to compete at the moment.. so by going for the easy life for you would you be denying him a year or two more fun?

we only have to look at the number of 16 to 19yr olds competing at WEG to know they are capable of more for longer than they used to be.

Then when the time comes look for a proper 'slower home' for him
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That is the main 'downside' of home 2. He is not happy jumping at 3ft anymore (good sense of self preservation!!) but loved the 2ft6 XC we did a few weeks ago.

But - I could pop down there occasionally and compete him - or if she takes him to a show with dressage and SJ we could both go.

He's only competed once a month / once every 6 weeeks over the summer which he seemed to enjoy (though he really enjoyed Windsor this year too!!).
 
Home 2, cos 15 hands is a lot of horse for a 11 year old and they always unless they have a Mum who says no, jump the legs off them especailly as yours likes jumping.
 
Home 2 definitely. She sounds like a lovely home and your horse will be able to lead a happy quiet life. My main concern for Home 1 is the size of the 11 yr old. Unless she is remarkably tall, 15hh is a big horse! Your horse could easily take advantage of her smaller legs.
 
Agree with practically everybody else, home 2 sounds the better option out of, quite frankly, two excellent options. I can't stand emotional blackmail either.
 
Assuming you are happy with the set up when you visit then home 2.

I would always go with a personal recommendation/word of mouth rather than a total stranger, he'll be close so you can still see him and possibly take him on the odd XC, he'll get the bit of a quieter life you want for him, the loan period is more in line with what you need and the people seem more 'reasonable'.

You don't actually want him to go but have recognised he must so good on you for doing what's best for you both :)

IMO your decision must be based purely on what's best for him and you - you absolutely do not need to be burdened with other peoples emotions, they are theirs to deal with! You've been honest about your situation and when a decision will be made so if they have chosen to get all excited and assumed it's a done deal then they need to deal with the potential fall out from that, not you.

*hugs*
 
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