pookie
Well-Known Member
Clearly the YOs on yards I've been/am on
For the OP, though, presumably the tack is hers and she should have access to it any time she pleases.
Whose horse is it anyway? rant, sorry
- Thread starter KrankyKaty
- Start date
Clearly the YOs on yards I've been/am on
For the OP, though, presumably the tack is hers and she should have access to it any time she pleases.
CinnamonChristmasCookie
Fais pas chier!
Odd. As the owner, I'd be watching ridden sessions frequently.
As for the riding, one girl I know who backs and schools on horses gave up on one horse because the owner kept asking all and sundry to ride it and she felt it was stopping the horse progressing. Maybe this is the case. Ultimately, you need to ask the YO why she's not thrilled with the prospect of your friend riding.
As for the riding, one girl I know who backs and schools on horses gave up on one horse because the owner kept asking all and sundry to ride it and she felt it was stopping the horse progressing. Maybe this is the case. Ultimately, you need to ask the YO why she's not thrilled with the prospect of your friend riding.
4faults
Well-Known Member
It's the fact that the YO is not letting the OP watch her horse being ridden which would concern me. OP in your situation I would insist on being present for a least 1 session per week.
As to the rest I can understand the YO not wanting your friend to ride if she is currently responsible for the schooling of what we can assume is quite an impressionable horse at that age
As to the rest I can understand the YO not wanting your friend to ride if she is currently responsible for the schooling of what we can assume is quite an impressionable horse at that age
KrankyKaty
Member
Wow, thank you every one for your comments.
I've not been very clear i guess from some of the posts. Hes on schooling livery and has been since May last year. hes 5 next month so sorry, not very clear there! Hes supposed to be ridden/schooled 4-5 times a week by my friend or staff but it isnt 1 rider all the time, he probably regularly has 3 different people on in each week. i asked to see him do his first little cross pole a few months ago but was told after the event that it had been a last minute thing and theyd just done it because the time was right. i was pretty disappointed because id wanted to see him do it but i don't usually hassle to see them working him. As far as i'm aware from a friend who now works there, usually they lunge him, pop somoeone on top, then keep him on lunge for a trot and maybe a canter and then he goes down the lane for a walk afterwards. until my friend started working there in April he hadn't even cantered off the lunge with a rider. so it al seemed a bit hit and miss to me.
My friend who wants to ride him is a low level event rider whose own horse has been retired recently, shes also been on the sunshine tour for dressage and my instructor thinks highly of her so shes not a numpty (like me!!) My horse is going well and takes pretty much everything in his stride but hes really green, doesn't understand canter aids, very reluctant to allow any contact on the bit and my instructor thinks he would do well with one person regularly schooling and hacking himout. so it seemed pretty perfect to me when my friend asked if she could ride him.
Yes i should have some lessons and ride him myself but i had a really nasty accident on an ex racer just before my youngter was backed and ended up in hospital with my leg broken in 3 places and serious concussion. horse spooked badly reared and went over on me so although i'm mostly ok now my nerves are totally shot but i'm trying to do my best for him whilst i sort myself out because i really do want to keep hi and ride him.
Tack is kept by yard manager in her car because we got broken into last year so nothing is left there now and its easier for her to have it than need to wait for me which is fine. its so annoying because i do trust her with him and he wouldnt be the nice confident person he is without her training him so far but i feel like he needs to be a bit further along now. i'm not planning to push him or overdo anything but my cob understood canter aids well before he was 5 so i can't help thinking he should do a bit more now.
I've just come back from the stables and my friend and i were both given the silent treatment from yard manager so i know shes definately angry or upset about it but when i asked i got told she was fine and didn't want to talk about it.
all we did was take both horses for a walk down the lane and back and they were both really good but i didn't dare mention that my friend wants to come and try some schooling tomoorow.
I feel like an idiot getting into this situation but until my confidence is better i don't want to push him back by being nervous on him. i do lunge him and we go for walks in hand and he definately knows me and comes to call etc but i'm totally terrified of riding him and i can't seem to pull myself together, not fair to put that on a nice young horse i'm having counselling and regular lessons on my cob and i'm slowly getting better but its what to do with him in the meantime. My friend doesnt want paying for schooling him and has even offered to pay me so i could have more lessons but i don't want to put my yard friends back up, shes really good with both of them and i couldnt bear to move them but i hate feeling like i've done something wrong by using my own horse, even though i've asked her if todays plans fitted around hers and done everything i can to be nice. its not like my friend is just going uo and helping herself, i'll be there every time.
maybe i should just back off and leave him to her, is that the best way to keep things working out?
I've not been very clear i guess from some of the posts. Hes on schooling livery and has been since May last year. hes 5 next month so sorry, not very clear there! Hes supposed to be ridden/schooled 4-5 times a week by my friend or staff but it isnt 1 rider all the time, he probably regularly has 3 different people on in each week. i asked to see him do his first little cross pole a few months ago but was told after the event that it had been a last minute thing and theyd just done it because the time was right. i was pretty disappointed because id wanted to see him do it but i don't usually hassle to see them working him. As far as i'm aware from a friend who now works there, usually they lunge him, pop somoeone on top, then keep him on lunge for a trot and maybe a canter and then he goes down the lane for a walk afterwards. until my friend started working there in April he hadn't even cantered off the lunge with a rider. so it al seemed a bit hit and miss to me.
My friend who wants to ride him is a low level event rider whose own horse has been retired recently, shes also been on the sunshine tour for dressage and my instructor thinks highly of her so shes not a numpty (like me!!) My horse is going well and takes pretty much everything in his stride but hes really green, doesn't understand canter aids, very reluctant to allow any contact on the bit and my instructor thinks he would do well with one person regularly schooling and hacking himout. so it seemed pretty perfect to me when my friend asked if she could ride him.
Yes i should have some lessons and ride him myself but i had a really nasty accident on an ex racer just before my youngter was backed and ended up in hospital with my leg broken in 3 places and serious concussion. horse spooked badly reared and went over on me so although i'm mostly ok now my nerves are totally shot but i'm trying to do my best for him whilst i sort myself out because i really do want to keep hi and ride him.
Tack is kept by yard manager in her car because we got broken into last year so nothing is left there now and its easier for her to have it than need to wait for me which is fine. its so annoying because i do trust her with him and he wouldnt be the nice confident person he is without her training him so far but i feel like he needs to be a bit further along now. i'm not planning to push him or overdo anything but my cob understood canter aids well before he was 5 so i can't help thinking he should do a bit more now.
I've just come back from the stables and my friend and i were both given the silent treatment from yard manager so i know shes definately angry or upset about it but when i asked i got told she was fine and didn't want to talk about it.
all we did was take both horses for a walk down the lane and back and they were both really good but i didn't dare mention that my friend wants to come and try some schooling tomoorow. I feel like an idiot getting into this situation but until my confidence is better i don't want to push him back by being nervous on him. i do lunge him and we go for walks in hand and he definately knows me and comes to call etc but i'm totally terrified of riding him and i can't seem to pull myself together, not fair to put that on a nice young horse
i'm having counselling and regular lessons on my cob and i'm slowly getting better but its what to do with him in the meantime. My friend doesnt want paying for schooling him and has even offered to pay me so i could have more lessons but i don't want to put my yard friends back up, shes really good with both of them and i couldnt bear to move them but i hate feeling like i've done something wrong by using my own horse, even though i've asked her if todays plans fitted around hers and done everything i can to be nice. its not like my friend is just going uo and helping herself, i'll be there every time.maybe i should just back off and leave him to her, is that the best way to keep things working out?
martlin
Well-Known Member
Your horse has been in schooling livery for 15 months (FIFTEEN?) and it is still ridden on the lunge? 
That is pretty shocking progress, or lack of, really.
That is pretty shocking progress, or lack of, really.StrawberryFields1
Well-Known Member
If I where you I would be looking for another yard and getting friend to ride him.
Whats the point in paying them lots of money so they can treat you like this - making you feel bad for doing anything with your own horse is not on! And it doesn't sound like they are doing a great job either. YO sounds very childish, she would soon change her tune when your horses (and livery money) are gone!
Whats the point in paying them lots of money so they can treat you like this - making you feel bad for doing anything with your own horse is not on! And it doesn't sound like they are doing a great job either. YO sounds very childish, she would soon change her tune when your horses (and livery money) are gone!
Ibblebibble
Well-Known Member
sorry but for schooling livery i think it's poor that he still doesn't know canter aids and they still have to lunge him before every ride! I would be expecting him to be much more forward in his schooling by now. she's not really 'schooling' him is she, more like exercising him
i would be thinking that her reluctance and grumpiness at you wanting to have someone else ride him is that it's going to show up how little the horse has actually progressed in a year rather than her being worried about all her good work being undone.
personally i would put him on ordinary full livery there and let your other friend take over the riding, of course the YO isn't going to like it but at the moment she's getting paid for a service she's not providing so i don't think i'd be classing her as such a good honest friend
i would be thinking that her reluctance and grumpiness at you wanting to have someone else ride him is that it's going to show up how little the horse has actually progressed in a year rather than her being worried about all her good work being undone. personally i would put him on ordinary full livery there and let your other friend take over the riding, of course the YO isn't going to like it but at the moment she's getting paid for a service she's not providing so i don't think i'd be classing her as such a good honest friend
Honey08
Waffled a lot!
If your friend (who wants to ride him) is getting on well with him, I would be inclined to pull him off schooling livery and let them "loan" him for a while, see how they get on.
Schooling livery is usually a shortish thing. My friend sent her horse on schooling livery and they did the same with her - kept it for months and then suggested/insisted that she had lessons on it there for a few months more after that. They were taking the mick big time - partly because she was nervous of the horse and had bought a youngster when she probably shouldn't have..
A good schooling livery yard would want to get you back on the horse and moving forward, not just sit taking your money. If I was schooling your horse, and you brought up a good rider that could help the horse move forward by spending more time with it than they yard could perhaps give it, I would welcome it.
This yard owner is not perhaps the friend you think she is.
Schooling livery is usually a shortish thing. My friend sent her horse on schooling livery and they did the same with her - kept it for months and then suggested/insisted that she had lessons on it there for a few months more after that. They were taking the mick big time - partly because she was nervous of the horse and had bought a youngster when she probably shouldn't have..
A good schooling livery yard would want to get you back on the horse and moving forward, not just sit taking your money. If I was schooling your horse, and you brought up a good rider that could help the horse move forward by spending more time with it than they yard could perhaps give it, I would welcome it.
This yard owner is not perhaps the friend you think she is.
StrawberryFields1
Well-Known Member
Or until you can find another yard would it be an option for you to take tack home with you then she can only ride when your there so you will be able to watch and know exactly whats going on?
KrankyKaty
Member
Your horse has been in schooling livery for 15 months (FIFTEEN?) and it is still ridden on the lunge?
I hadn't worked out how many months it was
just assumed he'd be established in canter before they started doing cross poles but only found out he wasn't because a different friend started working there a while ago. I don't know if the friend who wants to ride will push him too much or of the training livery isn't pushing enough, or both! My frend did say today that she thought it would take alot of time to have him schooling properly though.
i dont know what to do now.
martlin
Well-Known Member
I tell you what to do, get that horse off that ''schooling livery'', probably move yards and find yourself a proper producer, who will school your horse at an appropriate rate of progress.I hadn't worked out how many months it was
I don't know if the friend who wants to ride will push him too much or of the training livery isn't pushing enough, or both! My frend did say today that she thought it would take alot of time to have him schooling properly though.
i dont know what to do now.
I would advise it not to be your friend, just a proper business arrangement. Just to give you an idea, I would be expecting that horse of yours to be going out to shows by now, or, actually, by last Christmas.
KrankyKaty
Member
I really really don't want to move them if i can help it. their both really settled and happy ad so well looked after i'd struggle to find that anywhere else. in fairness its not really expensive for training livery, (just under £500 a month) so i suppose that could be why hes not doing much.
I do feel like since i had my accident my yard friend has decided i'm a total novice numpty again but i'm really not, i'm just terrified of the riding bit
martlin
Well-Known Member
Whereabouts in the country are you?
It might be inexpensive for schooling livery, but when you add up the 15 months, you have spent £7500 to have your horse barely backed and ridden away...
I don't charge my clients much more per month, and the horses are worked 6 days a week, as much as they need and lessons for the owner are included in the price, as well as photos, videos and FB updates. I wouldn't dream of spending such a ridiculous amount of time doing pretty much nothing!
I am just shocked and incensed on your behalf
It might be inexpensive for schooling livery, but when you add up the 15 months, you have spent £7500 to have your horse barely backed and ridden away...
I don't charge my clients much more per month, and the horses are worked 6 days a week, as much as they need and lessons for the owner are included in the price, as well as photos, videos and FB updates. I wouldn't dream of spending such a ridiculous amount of time doing pretty much nothing!
I am just shocked and incensed on your behalf
StrawberryFields1
Well-Known Member
You have several options
1. Take horse off schooling livery and let friend school him for you/ or get a professional to come to yard. This will stop you wasting any more money and horses can stay where they are settled BUT things may turn nasty between you and YO.
2. Find another yard that does schooling livery and this time make sure they keep you updated and allow you to watch schooling sessions reguarly. If you wanted friend could still ride. If you tell us your rough location prehaps someone will be able to recommend you somewhere?
Personally I think your better off with number 2. Remember he is your horse and it is your money so you call the shots here!
1. Take horse off schooling livery and let friend school him for you/ or get a professional to come to yard. This will stop you wasting any more money and horses can stay where they are settled BUT things may turn nasty between you and YO.
2. Find another yard that does schooling livery and this time make sure they keep you updated and allow you to watch schooling sessions reguarly. If you wanted friend could still ride. If you tell us your rough location prehaps someone will be able to recommend you somewhere?
Personally I think your better off with number 2. Remember he is your horse and it is your money so you call the shots here!
nixxyz
Well-Known Member
Oh dear,15 months and hes still lunging Time to change i think. I would either loan horse out to eventer friend, and you ride occasionally in between extra lessons on a schoolmaster to build up your confidence, Or move to a yard that does livery and your friend bring him on for you. But i certainly would NOT be staying at present yard be they your friends or not.
Time to change i think. I would either loan horse out to eventer friend, and you ride occasionally in between extra lessons on a schoolmaster to build up your confidence, Or move to a yard that does livery and your friend bring him on for you. But i certainly would NOT be staying at present yard be they your friends or not.KrankyKaty
Member
Thanks martlin, its good to know i'm not expecting to much from him! hes done an in hand show this year, but that was hard because i can't keep up with him trotting
I think i might wait and talk to my instructor next week when shes coming to give me a lesson on my cob and my friend a lesson on the youngster and see what she thinks of me taking him off schooling livery and if she thinks my friend is a good choice to school him regulary, does that sound fair? i think your right about taking him of f schooling livery though, but can't imagine how thats going to go down.
StrawberryFields1
Well-Known Member
I really really don't want to move them if i can help it. their both really settled and happy ad so well looked after i'd struggle to find that anywhere else. in fairness its not really expensive for training livery, (just under £500 a month) so i suppose that could be why hes not doing much.
I do feel like since i had my accident my yard friend has decided i'm a total novice numpty again but i'm really not, i'm just terrified of the riding bit
Thats still £6,000 a year though!
If your really set on yard no. 1 then take him off of training livery and get friend or someone else to ride him OR keep your tack so YO can only ride when your there. Hopefully when she realises she's being watched she will put more effort in to him. She has no reason to get funny about it you wanting to oversee your horses training (perfectly normal request) and she also has no right to dictate who does/ doesn't ride horse.
You just need to work on getting your confidence up, sounds like your doing everything you can and it's not fair of her to take advantage of you like that.
martlin
Well-Known Member
I would be careful with using your eventer friend, to be honest, I'm sure he/she is a great rider, but friendships have a habit of getting in the way of a professional relationship.
At the end of the day, it's you who's calling the shots here, so you might really want to go down that route, which is fair enough, though
At the end of the day, it's you who's calling the shots here, so you might really want to go down that route, which is fair enough, though
KrankyKaty
Member
I'm on the East Sussex Kent border i dont know if thats anywhere near anyone to suggest anything though.
I really don't want to fall out with yard manager but i'm starting to get as angry as i was when i first wrote the thread earlier, not that getting angry will help.
the other thing is i don't know how much moving yards will set me back either. i feel safe and comftable there as much as i can and even with my cob being so safe i don't know how i'll feel on a different yard. Just typing this and realising how stupid and pathetic that is to.
Horses are supposed to be fun aren't they?
I really don't want to fall out with yard manager but i'm starting to get as angry as i was when i first wrote the thread earlier, not that getting angry will help.
the other thing is i don't know how much moving yards will set me back either. i feel safe and comftable there as much as i can and even with my cob being so safe i don't know how i'll feel on a different yard. Just typing this and realising how stupid and pathetic that is to.
Horses are supposed to be fun aren't they?
Elsbells
Well-Known Member
If your confidence is at such a low ( And who could blame you if you never rode again tbh) have you not thought of selling him, just so you can focus on getting yourself right with the help of your cobby friend of course?
KrankyKaty
Member
I would be careful with using your eventer friend, to be honest, I'm sure he/she is a great rider, but friendships have a habit of getting in the way of a professional relationship.
At the end of the day, it's you who's calling the shots here, so you might really want to go down that route, which is fair enough, though
Wish you were local, I could send him to you! Friend didn't offer as a professional thing really, more she's desperate to keep her riding and I have a horse who needs riding so she kind of offered on a part loan/share basis so she was going to pay me towards his keep to share him. this wouldn't work so well on the schooling livery anyway though because she likes to ride several times a week.
Do you think part loaning him 5 days a week would be a bad idea? not that i really want to take money from her for schooling him because that seems weird but as a loan thing arther than a professional relationship, or would you just not go there?
Joeyjojo
Well-Known Member
Sounds like you're having a tough time. All I can say is that if being at that yard is making you uncomfortable and worried about your horses then it's probably time to move.
You're right horses should be fun and I'm sure you can find somewhere where they will be again!!
You're right horses should be fun and I'm sure you can find somewhere where they will be again!!
KrankyKaty
Member
Your probably right but i really don't want to sell him, the idea of being able to ride him eventually is kind of keeping me going with the lessons and counselling. hes so stunning to, a gorgeous Dales x TB i can't bear the thought of selling him now.
AmyMay
Situation normal
If he's been on schooling livery for 15 months he should now be ready for you to take over. Seems to Mr you're being taken for a ride.
Time to settle up your bill and find a nice little diy yard, where your instructor can bring you both on together.
And if you are struggling to keep up with his trot - time to work on your fitness, because it shouldn't be that hard.
Time to settle up your bill and find a nice little diy yard, where your instructor can bring you both on together.
And if you are struggling to keep up with his trot - time to work on your fitness, because it shouldn't be that hard.
KrankyKaty
Member
Thankis amymay, but its because of my dodgy leg from the accident that i couldnt keep up, and his long legs. i think its going to be a while before i'm ok to get on him as i still struggle with my confidence getting on my cob some days.
Ibblebibble
Well-Known Member
if you moved both horses to a different yard and your eventer friend part loaned him from there would that not give you some confidence, having her there as a familiar face and back up? you've already said you think the YO friend possibly thinks of you as a numpty novice again which lets face it , is not going to be doing good things for your self esteem or confidence.
i think you need to get angry so that you'll push yourself to make some (understandably) difficult decisions, decisions that need to be made though so that you and your horse can move forwards, at the rate he is going he is never going to be ready for you to ride!
Copperpot
Well-Known Member
I have to agree with Martlin. They are not schooling him merely exercising him. And £500 a month isn't cheap if they are not actually achieving anything with him. I feel bad for you
ex racer rider
Well-Known Member
Hun, if I was closer (im in the north east) I would come and school him for you for nothing as you dont deserve to be taken advantage oof in the way you have. I have broken in and schooled many horses and they are all off the lunge the whole ride before 15 days, never mind 15 blimmin months! Realisticly it takes 1-2 months to have a horse well started in the school and balanced or at least knowing all of the aids and safee enough to hack out. At 15 months I would expect it to be doing a full blimin course and bits of dressage! Im sorry you have had such a shoddy service! Maybe knock it down to full livery if you feel okay at the yard and let your eventer friend school maybe?
StrawberryFields1
Well-Known Member
Amymay I consistantly find your comments blunt, and quite frankly rude and condesending.
KrankyKaty
Member
Thank you everyone. much as i really don't want to move even my bf is saying i should, think hes more angry than i was. just wish i could get over the confidence issues.
Not worried about the fit comment though, my leg is coming on so much i can almost do leaps and bounds now
My event friend is more than happy to do things however i want her to so i'm lucky there. shes local to current yard though so if i moved to far it might be a problem. really glad of everyone's help on here today.
Not worried about the fit comment though, my leg is coming on so much i can almost do leaps and bounds now
My event friend is more than happy to do things however i want her to so i'm lucky there. shes local to current yard though so if i moved to far it might be a problem. really glad of everyone's help on here today.