Why are people so standoffish at Showjumping? Minor rant

[flyingfeet]

I've just been musing and I find this really odd, why do people go showjumping and not talk to anyone?

I go on my own, so will talk to anyone. If I recognize someone I will always say hello, not only is it polite, but I like getting to know people and watching their progress. I am not really bothered if I am competing against them, as 99% of BS is hanging around, so more fun if you have someone to gossip with!

I cannot understand people who don't want to talk to anyone

Even stranger is the HHO BS posters who also do this - why post on a public forum and then not even bother to say hello?

You know who you are!

 

[vikkiandmonica]

Yeah, I do know what you mean (even though I don't do BS

). When I go to just local shows, the majority of people will have a good old chat with me, but some people turn their noses up at me and can't possibly talk to me. So I just ignore them, and chat to everyone else

 

[madhector]

See this is one reason I prefer eventing, much more sociable! lol

 

[Golden_Match_II]

I didn't say hello that time we were both at summerhouse because I was very nervous!!

Lol.


I don't know really, people tend to be a lot more chatty at BE, or pony club things. It's weird, whenever I go BS, I guess I don't really chat to anyone I don't know. Well, I do, it depends on the time and place, and what I'm doing. If I'm in the warm up for a up to height 1m10, then I won't be a chatterbox - even to my mum!

 

[Weezy]

I think people think I am a bit odd as I talk to anyone

 

[dieseldog]

I think you are just scary. Mwahhhaaa.

 

[measles]

I don't find that at all - people are friendly but maybe that's because we've been at it for nearly 30 years?

 

[beckiebeckyboo]

Sometimes i think its nerves!! up here we are quite a sociable bunch tend to chat to lots of people i dont know the names of just faces we see each week. but i do think the horse lot are not as approachable as the pony people, they are realy friendly.

 

[BroadfordQueen]

Sorry if you're referring to me on Saturday- for one, I thought I recongnised you but wasn't 100% sure and would find it really embarrasing if I started talking to someone who didn't have a clue who I was

Plus I am a shy person anyway and tend to not even talk to my mates when I am showjumping, the nerves get to me and I like to try and stay as focused as possible

Eventing is much easier to talk to people as you have more time in between disciplines to relax- when showjumping I feel I always have to be on the ball. My parents don't let me bring friends/my OH to watch me cos I lose my focus too easily and apparently end up spending more time gossiping than focusing on my riding and always cock it up!
I apologise if I appeared "standoffish". I wasn't trying to be rude.

 

[_April_]

Myself and Quadro had a moment of 'recognition' last weekend as I was driving out of the lorry park so hopefully we'll find each other next time as we were probably warming up at the same time!

I find BS quite friendly actually, there's always the same people at everything and I only do the small stuff so it's probably less competitive.

Broadford_Queen is very shy and sweet - I bought my beloved horse from her.

I hope you won't mind me saying this S, but I think you are under a lot of pressure to do well and ride well from your parents - so having them watching must multiply your nerves so much.

I would never introduce myself to a HHOer either unless I was 100% sure I recognised them!

 

[millitiger]

i have always found people very 'off' and not very friendly sj.

whenever i go eventing you get chatting to the person parked next to you, people say good luck when you go into the dressage arena, sj or xc start box etc and total strangers tell you you had a nice round (even if you didn't!).

sj i found all you get are dirty looks, particularly if you dare to try and be friendly to anyone!

 

[louisevictoria]

ermmmm have only ever met one other HHOer at a BS event and that was purely by chance.

Howver if I know someone is going to the same show as me I will normally try and find out who they are.

But then I am mad and strike up conversations with anyone

 

[BBs]

I wonder that.
Far more ppl chat at BD and BE.

 

[TableDancer]

Oooh cotswoldsj, I can see it - you're about to emerge into the light: first you go Jump Training (and do well

) now you complain about BS

Come on girl, you know you want to....

I do think people are less friendly SJ fwiw - I'm another nutter who talks to anyone but it is harder to strike up a conversation BS than other disciplines and, thinking about it, it's generally other eventers that I end up chatting to - Rob Stevens is always a good one to hang out with at Summerhouse, csj, buy him a coffee and he's anyone's

. I'm sure it's very friendly if you are on the "inner", measles, which you must be if you've been at it 30 years

But if you're an outsider it can be a bit harder.

But I reckon the most unfriendly discipline of all has to be showing!!! A couple of years ago we rocked up at Monmouthshire Show which is our local big agricultural show because T fancied a crack at the WHP classes. Pulled in in the lorry, got out and started greeting our neighbours, like you do, well - nothing!! Blank stares and silence!!! Everyone completely ignored each other, apart from swearing at each other for parking/standing in the wrong place etc etc. T and I got terrible giggles, think the posh showing people thought we were mad! Only two clears in Open WHP though so she was 2nd and we had the last laugh

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

You get people who aren't sociable at all types of venues but I don't have any problems striking up a conversation at Show Jumping venues. Some I wouldn't want to talk to anyway.

 

[Firewell]

I would be shy if I saw someone I recognised and also scared in case they weren't the person!! I prob wouldnt initiate converstaion for that reason but if I was spoken to I would be very friendly indeed

.
I actually quite like chatting to people while waiting to go in, especially at the summer shows! Standing in the sun chatting, its nice.
I always have a huge entourage of family and friends whenever I go anywhere as we see competeting as a big day out for everybody. Its a bit nerve wracking with lots of people watching but I always ride better under pressure. It also means wether things go good or bad that I have lots of support, I think the horse likes it as well, being the centre of attention!

My mum did BD the other week, she had only been in the warm up 2 secs and she already made a friend! I turned around to see her riding next to a lady we didnt know, mum was nattering away to her for ages lol!

 

[FigJam]

I blether to anyone in the trailer/lorry park or in the warm up. I understand a lot of folk are nervous when warming up/about to go in, so wouldn't take it personally if they're quiet then, but no excuse really in the trailer park not to say a wee "hi" or "nice day!" to each other?

I've actually met a few folk just through being parked near each other or competing at a similar time, so hanging around the warm up together who have recognised me at future events and asked how I've been, what we've been up to etc which is lovely and I tend to do the same. However, this is from unaff, RC or eventing stuff, only done BSJA once, but even then I managed to pester Quadro from here at that!

I randomly called a test for a complete stranger at unaff dressage one time as the girl she was with was really panicking about it and have had other folks helpers pick poles up for me at unaff SJ etc.

_April_ was ace at my first BE, as although we'd attempted to (but never managed to!) meet up at other things, she didn't know me other than on here and yet she still took a wee photo of us over one of the fences and was one of the first to say "well done" and chat to me at the end of our first ever BE completion.

Olivio and Nic01 have also been brave/daft enough to ask "are you FigJam" and strike up a friendship at events,

as well as a few others who I've got in touch with from chatting on here.

Never attempted showing, but can imagine they'd be the cliquey-est!

 

[Fahrenheit]

Personally I think CSJ is just wearing the wrong deodorant

I find people chatty at most shows, some venues are more social than others, socially Summerhouse and The Hand are my favs!

 

[hedgehog1]

I think people are friendly enough, but i know alot people so maybe its a bit different
I dont randomly start conversations, but if someone talks i will be friendly back
i must look vaguely approachable as im always asked to hold a horse or whats the jump off.
i always find the best way to get to know people is when they crash into you in the warm up, also apologise back even if it wasnt your fault! they love it, and they get chatting then!

 

[marmalade76]

[ QUOTE ]
I would be shy if I saw someone I recognised and also scared in case they weren't the person!! I prob wouldnt initiate converstaion for that reason but if I was spoken to I would be very friendly indeed

.


[/ QUOTE ]

Same here. I am quite shy but always speak when I'm spoken to. I can also look quite stern when I am concentrating or nervous. I have never done BS myself, but have done loads of unaff. My stepmother used to do BS and only really spoke to folks that she knew.

 

[dieseldog]

Being friendly to people can backfire sometimes. I asked the girl stabled next to me at Wales how it was going - she burst into tears as her horse had dumped her.

Slightly awkard moment.

 

[flyingfeet]

Oh dear lord - so DieselDog thinks I'm scary and KissMyDonkey thinks I smell and these are both people I natter to (talk about giving a girl a complex!)

Actually can I caveat my complaint to exclude Summerhouse which is always friendly and tons of people to natter to (talked to Rob Stevens sans coffee!)

However Tabledancer that's a big fat no to doing xcountry!

Actually a damn good question is where are the HHO Badges that were promised AGES ago?

 

[AnShanDan]

I think that you get stand offish people and friendly ones everywhere, but in my experience there are a lot more of the former at showjumping and of the latter eventing.
I have a theory: at showjumping you are competing against each other directly more as it's so quick and faults are so objective. Eventing you are all competing against the course and trying to better your last score in all 3 phases. So there is more of a cameraderie and people really try to help each other out.

 

[louisevictoria]

sorry CSJ by PMSL

FWIW the first time I went to Bicton and didn't know anyone I started nattering to the girl in the stable next to me who had quite a few horses there and it turned out to be Gemma Paternoster

 

[Fahrenheit]

[ QUOTE ]
Oh dear lord - so DieselDog thinks I'm scary and KissMyDonkey thinks I smell and these are both people I natter to (talk about giving a girl a complex!)

[/ QUOTE ]

Coming to think of it you scared me the first time you spoke to me

lmao

 

[flyingfeet]

You are just being mean as you've turned to the dark side

 

[Santa_Claus]

Granted I haven't jumped BS for a few years due to ££ or lack thereof but I always struggled to find people who wanted to engage in conversation!

I almost always went on my own including to stay away shows at Bicton, W&W etc and it really surprised me, and I had to make the effort if I wanted to be able to walk my course.

There were a few 'old faithfuls' so to speak who were always a great laugh (and normally got me very drunk at stay aways

) but majority of people blanked you unless you had fully co-ordinated gear, a shiney new lorry and a string of WBs. (Un)fortunately I had none of the above

 

[Fahrenheit]

[ QUOTE ]
You are just being mean as you've turned to the dark side

[/ QUOTE ]

well they said the grass was greener this side of the fence

lol

 

[SpruceRI]

I've done all 3 disciplines now - and went to all on my own in the main, and found BSJA people notably unfriendly.

SJ people seemed to travel in groups/have cliques of friends that they hung about with, at every show and all my efforts to chat to anyone parked next to me, in the collecting ring etc failed - dirty looks all round.

I hated the whole 'scene'. I only did BSJA for a year so maybe I was a newbie not worth bothering with?

BE - totally the opposite! How refreshing! The number of 'next door neighbours' who said they'd noticed I was on my own and if I needed any help, just ask, was just lovely!

BD - I only competed a few times, but most people were chatty, smiley, friendly.

Maybe BS is nerves, but I don't think so.

 

[Kal]

Ummm i think i'm to blame. I think i've put people off from talking to anyone because i natter to whoever will natter back and i don't let them go, i can talk for hours