Why do people at school think that I'm "gay" because I ride?

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Constantly boys at school laugh and say things like "bit gay" and remarks, I have my own horse and ride regularly, they also laugh at the fact that I wear breeches and tall boots?

What do you think? And what should I say?
 
Basically, because they are stupid. That's all there is.

I used to have lessons with a young guy (he was about 14) a few years ago. You could rarely see him for the girls crowding around him wherever he went. Ben Maher was with a model. I doubt Scott Brash has any difficulty getting girls and he's no Johnny Depp. So it's their loss really if they think riding is only for gay guys.

Basically if I were you I'd treat them as exactly what they are, children with no idea of what they are missing out on
 
Point out that the large number of girls that ride mean that you are expanding your opportunities more than they are and will be able to have your pick?
 
Ah ... immaturity, fear of those who are different, need to belittle others, jealousy ... You will probably find they are full of their own insecurities and find security within their peer group by picking on others. you might even find one of them is gay and insecure about it.

I don't know what the best way to deal with bullies is - some folks can have brilliant come backs (not me!) I was bullied all the way through my school years. When I was 16 I suddenly grew a spine out of nowhere and simply told them to get over themselves, that I didn't care and walked away head held high. It was so easy to do, and so liberating, i was amazed that I hadn't done it sooner. Once they realised they couldn't get a rise from me, or affect me, they eventually gave up. Be a snob, look down on them and don't grace them with your interest. It does make you stronger.

Good luck Op. You have my sympathy xxx
 
BenjiMan said:
Constantly boys at school laugh and say things like "bit gay" and remarks, I have my own horse and ride regularly, they also laugh at the fact that I wear breeches and tall boots?

What do you think? And what should I say?
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1) tell them to *words I'm not allowed to say on the forum* off
2) tell a trusted teacher/ adult at school, sexuality (of all natures) is a protected characteristic and it is unacceptable to ridicule someone for it whether gay or straight. I have told students off before for using 'gay' as a pejorative term; not only is it unfair to the student involved it also sets the precedent that somehow being gay is a bad thing to be.
3) point out that your chances of meeting unattached girls (in tight fitting jodhs no less!) is far higher at horse related events then at say a sport like rugby or football!
 
Invite them to visit your horse. I was at a uni jumping comp once, where some of the non-horsy boyfriends of the girls had come along to watch...they arrived full of silly remarks, but soon changed their tune.
 
Malibu_Stacy said:
1) tell them to *words I'm not allowed to say on the forum* off
2) tell a trusted teacher/ adult at school, sexuality (of all natures) is a protected characteristic and it is unacceptable to ridicule someone for it whether gay or straight. I have told students off before for using 'gay' as a pejorative term; not only is it unfair to the student involved it also sets the precedent that somehow being gay is a bad thing to be.
3) point out that your chances of meeting unattached girls (in tight fitting jodhs no less!) is far higher at horse related events then at say a sport like rugby or football!
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This precisely. I get so angry when people use the word 'gay' as a slur.
 
Unfortunately it is because of ignorance!
Most of the old 'favourites' including the Harvey Smiths, Mark Todds (even thou he's made a comeback!), David Broome and Geoff Billingtons of this world nowadays have been passed over for what are more 'modern' equivalents and what has become more female dominated as a sport?
Jealousy is an evil thing and if you enjoy Riding then do your best to ignore them and be comfortable in who you are!
My husband occasionally ventures out in horse gear and only now in his 40's enjoys the attention it brings!
Be true to yourself (whatever your sexuality!) and enjoy doing what you want to do! If anything question what they actually can or have?

BenjiMan said:
Constantly boys at school laugh and say things like "bit gay" and remarks, I have my own horse and ride regularly, they also laugh at the fact that I wear breeches and tall boots?

What do you think? And what should I say?
Click to expand...
 
School kids can be horrible, and very unimaginative! It's easy to say just try to ignore them, I know that can be difficult. You could try to take solace in the fact that (in a sport mostly dominated by women) a straight male rider is a very attractive prospect! Plus it'll keep you in great shape, and since you've got the confidence to boss around a 1 ton animal, the bully's would be no problem ;)

Of course if these remarks are relentless, and affecting you badly, please speak to your parents and/or someone at school. Bullying and name calling aren't a joke, and you shouldn't have to edure it.
 
NinjaPony said:
This precisely. I get so angry when people use the word 'gay' as a slur.
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It really winds me up, especially as a lot of the time the kids will say it without thinking about the implications at all. The majority of them aren't that fussed about the concept of someone being homosexual, but don't get that they are making an environment that could make an in the closet classmate highly uncomfortable.
 
Because they think I am a girl especially because of the riding attire and that its know as a female dominated sport, they even say it's not a sport which pushes my buttons -_-
 
Because you can manage to control a near one tonne animal... Most teenage boys can't control themselves. More ignorance don't let it bother you- the equestrian girls get the dirty comments!
As others have said.... Male riders... Very attractive prospect! ;)
 
Oh, I feel for you. :( Some people are so cruel.. just let them have a go.. seems to have shut up someone for me! :D

Not really related - This makes an interesting watch.. it's turned around so that being straight is "not" the norm and being gay is.. Warning it is graphic at the end.

ETA: Helpful if I put the link.. :p https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnOJgDW0gPI
 
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You're also probably fitter and better toned than them ... which will create jealousy etc. You really are best to just tell them to stuff it, and ignore them! You simply cannot win against these people. Even if you wrote them an essay on the ratio of men to women at professional level it wouldn't stop them. They've found a weak spot and will continue to taunt you with it until you show them that it no longer affects you. Alternatively, join in the jokes ... take the mick out of yourself a little bit with them and take the wind right out of their sails. x
 
My stepson used to get this at junior school. It never bothered him, he used to reply "have you never seen a cowboy?" They got bored. Even his mother told him it wasn't a very masculine hobby. Mainly to put him off something he shared with his dad and I. It always shocked me as her brother is gay and I thought she'd know better.

Ignore them. They will get bored.
 
equi said:
To a horsey girl there's not much better than a guy in Jods ;)
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Second this! ^☺️

Don't worry about it! They just don't get it!
My brother has the same issue all the time, he's in yr 10 now, primary school was no problem but it started in year seven for him.
He got called names alot, and laughed at (again due to the breeches & boots!) but he just started to ignore most of it, and laughed at their ingnorence the rest of the time. You have to pity their small minds really!

Sam did a project on riding last year, it included a video of him jumping a meter course, XC/BE90, my big man (17.2hh no less) on one of his bad days bronking down the long side before bolting of with him, and a xc fall where Monty came down on top of him. These are things we don't bat an eyelid at (appart from the latter), but it's fair to say they shut up a bit after that!
It's was also interesting to see, that when he has mates over, almost all if them won't so much as touch a pony, let alone ride one. I think it's more naivety than anything else!

Don't let them put you off!! Most professional riders are men and most horsey girls would love a horsey guy, so you've got your pick there!
 
Ah I remember school (some 15 years ago now!) when everything was "gay". You were "gay" for liking certain things, "gay" for doing certain things, inanimate objects were "gay".

At a young age horse riding does seem to be female dominated. At a professional level, lets have a look at the current FEI online rankings. I believe the top 10 show jumpers in the longines rankings are all male and in Eventing there are 7 males in the top 10.

From experience it probably won't make them stop, but just ignore them, focus on your riding, goals and achievements. When I was at school the boys used to take the mickey out of me for riding, for no reason really! Not sure why I was singled out as there were 2 other girls that rode in my class! They would say stupid things like "I'm going to go shoot a horse tonight", to which I would just reply "that's nice for you". They would just try and get a rise out of me, which never came.

Their behaviour put me off dating boys until I was about 18 as I decided they were idiots and I'd much rather spend my time with the horses who don't say idiotic things!
 
I don't know why. Maybe because it's seen by the uninitiated as a female sport? Whatever the reason; it's at best ill informed and childish. As a male rider too I can say that most other males seem to quite admire me for riding (even if they don't want to do it themselves because quite often they're too scared!). You don't seem bothered though so that's good. It's best to laugh these things off. Next time someone says something like that though I would be tempted to ask them what they mean. Do they mean horses are for softies? In that case they're wrong aren't they? Showjumpers and eventers or jockeys (whatever they're gender or sexuality) have to be some of the bravest sportspeople around. After all there's some pretty scary injury stats in these disciplines. That said we do it because we love working with these cool animals. On that note I've got to go don my breeches and ride now. Thinking I'll go for a big gallop - big sissy that I am!!
 
I'm sorry you're getting picked on, but you'll have the last laugh when they're all struggling to get a girlfriend and you'll literall have your pick of girls!

It's like a PP said, all the top riders are male. It's weird, it's like chuffing, dominated by women at the lower end, and seen as 'gay' but look at the most successful, nearly all men. Why? Because it's tough & demanding.

Look them in the eye and tell them they're more than welcome to have a try if it's so easy.
 
minkymoo said:
It's weird, it's like chuffing, dominated by women at the lower end, and seen as 'gay' but look at the most successful, nearly all men. Why? Because it's tough & demanding.
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I've always dominated chuffing in my house. The girls just can't compete. I out chuff them at every opportunity! 😷
 
My nephew is 18 and very cool. He's in a band, he's good looking... He saw the girls at my livery yard and he is desperate to ride now!

Mr Darcy from pride and prejudice wore breeches and makes girls faint.

This all suggests that riding presents plenty of heterosexual opportunities if they are wanted. Unfortunately kids pick on other kids for anything that's different. When you get to 6th form differences are celebrated. Hang in there and don't worry about it. Oh and a pic of you going over a giant jump as a profile on Facebook won't hurt ;)
 
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